


Demonic Love

by coldphoenix



Series: Demonic Love (King Piccolo x OC) [1]
Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-14
Updated: 2017-01-15
Packaged: 2018-09-17 12:50:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 142,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9324374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coldphoenix/pseuds/coldphoenix
Summary: King Piccolo is forced to enrol on a rehabilitation course in Hell; he is reluctant to co-operate with his mentors until he learns that with good behaviour he can return to the world of the living and finally get his revenge on Son Goku! Meanwhile Frieza is ashamed of what a good-natured girl his sister is, and is hoping that the evil King Piccolo will destroy her...*King Piccolo/OC shipping*





	1. The Wrong Chocolate And The Right Wine

**Author's Note:**

> All I ask is that if you read this fic please give it a chance :) It might seem a little daft here and there but it is a humour fic so I’ve tried to keep it light, but it will get a little more serious as time goes on. I really loved writing this fic because I love this pairing right now, so I really hope people enjoy reading it. Please review and let me know your thoughts, thank you!

_‘Good luck, my son…’_

In the darkest depths of Hell King Piccolo clenched his fist, cutting his own flesh as he recalled his death and his last words, for the third time that day.

_‘Get revenge for my demise. Destroy all of my enemies.’_

He gritted his teeth in anger, enraged at the vision he saw before him on a small TV screen that depicted the world of the living. It was his son, Piccolo Jr… and he was sparring, with the offspring of that tiny boy that had defeated the demon king now over twenty years ago.

_‘Get revenge for my demise… Get revenge.’_

“What part of that didn’t you understand, Son!” King Piccolo suddenly roared, raising his hand above the TV screen. He was about to unleash the fall force of his rage upon the object when a familiar voice interrupted him.  
“King Piccolo!”

King Piccolo didn’t look up. He simply let out a sigh and composed himself.  
“How much did you get?” He asked.  
“Three bars each, Sire!” A cheerful voice answered him.  
“Three bars?” King Piccolo turned to look at the group of mutated namekians that had joined him. Piano, Tambourine, Cymbal and Drum were all stood there looking incredibly proud of themselves, and each holding three bars of chocolate in their hand.  
“We did a song!” Tambourine beamed. “And we won first place!”  
“Hm.” King Piccolo smirked slightly. “Well done, my children.” He looked at them, trying to imagine what their combined singing voices would sound like. “… So I suppose the competition was pretty awful, hm?”

The mutants’ faces all dropped and they lowered their eyes to the floor, disheartened.  
“You could… at least pretend to believe in us.” Cymbal mumbled.  
“Haha!” King Piccolo rose to his feet and noticed the TV disappearing beneath him. Had it really been thirty minutes already? Time certainly did fly when you were watching your biggest disappointment. He approached the boys and held out his hand. “Give it here, then.” He ordered.  
“Uh… well…” Drum sweat dropped.   
“We uh… we kind of…” Cymbal kicked Tambourine’s foot and gave him a sideways glance.  
“Oh! Well, King Piccolo, Sire…” Tambourine began. “We were kind of wondering if… if…” He looked at King Piccolo, trembling under the namek’s terrifying eyes and that menacing face. “Piano…” Tambourine growled, shooting a forceful glare at his older sibling.  
“Oh. Yes, well…” Piano cleared his throat and stared up at the demon king. “King Piccolo, we were wondering that… well… since we did earn more chocolate than usual today, that perhaps we could uh… keep some?”

The other three mutants squealed and stared up at Piccolo, eagerly and fearfully awaiting his response. King Piccolo simply stared down at Piano, and smiled.  
“Heh.” He uttered. “Piano… my dear child…” He looked across the others. “Boys… is that what you want more than anything? To be able to keep your chocolate?”  
“Uh-huh.” The mutants nodded, sweat dropping.  
“I see…” King Piccolo mumbled. He stared at the floor for a moment and the nameks watched in anticipation, until King Piccolo finally raised his eyes and glared at them. “ _ **Absolutely not**_!”  
“Aiii!” The four mutants all screamed, huddling together.  
“You shouldn’t eat this stuff, anyway! It’s bad for you!” King Piccolo scolded, snatching the chocolate bars out of their hands.  
“But… but Sire we’re – we’re dead! How much harm can it possibly do?” Cymbal reasoned.  
“Yeah and… and you know – those counselling classes are really boring!” Tambourine whined. “Every time I go I just sit there and remember what it was like to die, and all I can think is how much more fun that was!”  
“Well I will gladly grant you that experience again, Tambourine!” King Piccolo seethed. “You all know your orders – you will all attend those ridiculous rehabilitation classes, and in exchange they will give you one chocolate bar per visit just for turning up, and on top of that you are to earn more chocolate by taking part in their team-building activities and entering their competitions… and then you will hand over all your chocolate to me so I can actually use it for something useful – like buying the spy-screens!” He pointed at the empty space where the temporary TV had once stood, demonstrating his point. “That has been our arrangement ever since they started doing the rehabilitation program down here, and it will remain our agreement for as long as we are living in hell! Do I make myself clear!”  
“Yes King Piccolo!” The mutants all nodded. 

Drum looked up at his master, brave enough to try to reason with him one last time.  
“But… Sire – surely you can… maybe go a couple of days without the spy-screens? I mean, what you do down here is your own business but… you seem to spend all day just watching Junior.” He said.  
“Yeah and – and it doesn’t seem to be doing your state of mind any good!” Cymbal protested. “Every time you finish watching him you’re in an even worse mood than when you started.”  
“Yeah and… doesn’t it get kind of repetitive after a while?” Tambourine sweat dropped. “He isn’t the most interesting person.”

Piano whimpered slightly, noticing the look of fury that was sweeping across their master’s face as he stared down at the mutants.  
“Uh… what I think they’re trying to say, Sire…” Piano began. “Is – and without any disrespect, uh… they – we… we think it might be time that His Majesty got uh…” He looked up at King Piccolo and sweat dropped. “Got… a hobby?”  
“ _ **Grrrrrr**_!” King Piccolo roared over them, causing the mutants to wail and huddle together once more. “Fools! Are you seriously idiotic enough to question _my_ actions? Let me remind you that I created you idiots and I can destroy you as well!” He fired a ki blast at the group, causing them to scream and leap away from each other. “Now!” King Piccolo snarled. “I am going to obtain more spy-screens. I also heard a rumour today that the next big event in those classes will be a painting contest. The prize for the winner is ten bars of chocolate – so when I get back I expect you to be practicing your skills!” 

He shot the nameks a menacing glare before he leapt into the air and flew off towards his dealer. The mutated nameks made various groaning noises and re-joined each other.  
“Geez… you’d think that after two decades he’d let it go a little.” Drum mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck in confusion.  
“This is all Junior’s fault! If he’d just hurry up and kill Goku then maybe King Piccolo wouldn’t be so hard to live with!” Piano growled.  
“Yeah but he’s not going to, so we need to think of something to mellow Dad out a little.” Tambourine sighed.  
“I guess getting him to go to those classes himself is a stupid idea, right?” Cymbal mumbled.  
“Mm-hm.” The others nodded disheartenedly  
“I really want to know what chocolate tastes like…”

Meanwhile King Piccolo landed outside a small cave and knocked against its wall.  
“Hey!” He called. “It’s me – I want more spy-screens. I have the chocolate –” He stopped in his tracks when an almost-naked Zarbon emerged from the darkness of the cave. Zarbon leaned against the wall with a cigarette in one hand and looked Piccolo up and down, his body only covered by an open silk robe and a pair of tiger print y-fronts. “God – can’t you put some clothes on!” King Piccolo snarled.  
“If you’ve got it.” Zarbon quipped, taking a drag of his cigarette. He kept his eyes fixed on King Piccolo and slowly exhaled, watching the namek intently. “So. Do you have it?”  
“Of course.” King Piccolo answered bluntly. “Now get Frieza out here!”  
“Show me.” Zarbon instructed. 

King Piccolo let out an impatient sigh and pulled four bars of chocolate out of his clothing, then held them up to Zarbon. Zarbon moved his hand out to take them when Piccolo suddenly yanked the bars away, glaring at the man.  
“Frieza.” He stated. Zarbon hesitated just long enough to give King Piccolo an arrogant look before he took another drag of his cigarette and called out,  
“Lord Frieza! The giant cucumber’s here to see you again.” He smirked at King Piccolo as the namek shot him a cold, angry glare.  
“Now? Dammit Zarbon, didn’t you hang the ‘do not disturb’ sign!” Frieza’s voice came from within the cave.  
“Oh…” A look of surprise briefly passed through Zarbon’s face and he shifted a little. “No… I forgot…”   
“Silly boy.” King Piccolo smirked at him mockingly, causing Zarbon to shoot him a dirty look.  
“Tch. Maybe next time you forget I should carve it into your forehead and make you stand outside – would you forget then?” Frieza’s voice drew nearer and he appeared at the cave’s entrance wearing a pale purple cloak that barely covered the tops of his thighs. He looked at King Piccolo. “Well, hurry up. You can see we’re a little busy.”

King Piccolo looked at Frieza in disgust, and held the chocolate bars out to him.  
“Four bars for four screens. Deal.”  
“Yes, deal…” Frieza mumbled as he took the chocolate, examining it. “Wait – hey!” He glared at King Piccolo angrily. “This is white chocolate!”  
“So?” Piccolo replied.  
“ _So_?” Frieza snarled. “I don’t like white chocolate! It’s sickly and it makes my wine taste funny! Bring me milk chocolate!”  
“This was all they had!” King Piccolo protested. “What does it matter anyway? Chocolate’s chocolate isn’t it?”  
“No, chocolate is not chocolate!” Frieza argued. “Don’t you have a sweet tooth?”  
“Frieza, do I _look_ like I have a sweet tooth to you!” King Piccolo roared.   
“Figures.” Zarbon sniped, taking another drag of his cigarette as he eyed up the demon king, and smirked. “He seems like the bitter type.”

Frieza grunted and looked at King Piccolo.  
“I’ll give you one screen – and that’s only because I know somebody who can eat this.” He said.  
“What!” King Piccolo glared at him. “The deal was four screens for four bars, Frieza!”  
“That was before you brought me this.” Frieza replied, holding up the chocolate bars with a sinister smirk. “But if those terms aren’t acceptable to you then why don’t you go ahead and take the spy-screens off me yourself? After all, I’m sure I’ll be no match for your… what, five hundred power level?”  
“Grrr…” King Piccolo growled, and looked away, his fists clenched in anger. “Fine. Just go and get me the screen – and hurry up!”  
“Zarbon. Fetch our friend his looking glass, would you?” Frieza said, not taking his eyes off Piccolo and not wiping the smirk from his face.  
“Of course, Lord Frieza.” Zarbon nodded. He looked at King Piccolo as he flicked his cigarette onto the ground and squashed it with his bare foot, staring at the namek in a challenging manner before he disappeared into the cave.  
“Next time I want butterscotch flavoured.” Frieza told King Piccolo.  
“Butterscotch? How the hell am I supposed to get that?” King Piccolo growled.  
“That’s not my problem.” Frieza shrugged, and smirked mockingly. “Why don’t you get your boys to make macaroni pictures of you for their good Samaritan classes?”  
“You –” King Piccolo was interrupted by Zarbon reappearing with a spy-screen.   
“Here. It’ll fade in twenty minutes.” Zarbon said, handing it to Piccolo.  
“Twenty minutes! Is that the best you can offer me?” King Piccolo snarled.  
“Nope.” Frieza smirked and turned his back to Piccolo, grinning at him wickedly over his shoulder. “Bye-bye.” 

King Piccolo gritted his teeth and readied himself to rip open the icejin’s throat, before his mind got the better of him and he reluctantly refrained. He shot Frieza and angry glare and grunted at him before leaping into the air and reluctantly flying away.  
“What a fool.” Zarbon commented, watching as the demon king disappeared into the distance.  
“Hm. Don’t be too hard on him, Zarbon.” Frieza replied. “His son is an even bigger disappointment to him than Kuriza.”  
“Hey, guys!” Cell’s voice came from inside the cave. “Are you almost done out there? I’m not going to wait forever.”  
“Haha, coming Dear!” Frieza answered. He looked at Zarbon and tapped his behind with his tail. “Come on.” As the two started to walk towards Cell, Frieza called to him, “Good news, Cell! I got you some white chocolate!”

XXXXX

“Okay guys! Today’s lesson – sharing!” An icejin girl beamed with far too much enthusiasm, looking brightly at the group of hell inhabitants that were sitting before her. They all started to grumble amongst themselves, expecting that they would have to let each other use their personal possessions. “Don’t all look like that! It’s fun to share – you’ll learn that today.”

Meanwhile Frieza, Zarbon and Cell stared out of their makeshift window, which was a long hole in Frieza’s cave.  
“Oh my God…” Zarbon groaned. “She is just too cute to be allowed to exist. She makes Goku look like Satan.” He took a drag of his cigarette and passed it along to Frieza.  
“You shouldn’t sound so glum, Zarbon. She isn’t _your_ counterpart.” Frieza growled, taking hold of the cigarette as he watched the girl in disgust. Frikiza… That was her name. She was from another universe, a universe where genders were inverted. Frikiza wasn’t just an ordinary icejin girl, she was the female version of Frieza. That was why Frieza couldn’t stand how nice she was – she gave him a bad name! She made him look weak, in front of all the saiyans that he’d sent to live down here in hell! Up to now the dead inhabitants of Planet Vegeta still feared Frieza, and he wanted to keep it that way. None of them knew who Frikiza really was; very few people knew of Frikiza’s true relationship with Frieza, and Frieza wanted to keep that number as low as possible. If the saiyans ever found out that Frieza was just an alternate version of that cute little do-gooder… Frieza didn’t want to think about what those filthy apes might try to do. What was she even doing in here? This wasn’t Frikiza’s universe, if she wanted to spend her life trying to turn bad people good then why didn’t she just do it in her own universe? Or better still, why didn’t she find something else to do with her time? Frikiza wasn’t like Frieza. She was alive. She had given up her life as a planet-trading tyrant almost ten years before Frieza’s death, and she had been on the run from her family ever since. It didn’t seem like much of a life… but still, it was a life, and Frikiza was wasting it. It _infuriated_ Frieza to see a version of himself that treated his life with such disrespect! She still had her own empire – why the hell didn’t she use it!

Frieza let out an angry sigh and took a drag of the cigarette before coughing. “Oh – Zarbon, this thing is disgusting!” He snarled, and tossed the cigarette through the window. “You shouldn’t smoke, it’s bad for your skin!”  
“But I’m dead, Lord Frieza. Nothing can harm my skin.” Zarbon protested. “I wouldn’t smoke if I was alive.”  
“Well what if you come back to life? You’ll be addicted and then it will affect you – quit now while it’s not doing you any harm.” Frieza scolded.  
“Frieza, do you really think you have the right to say that to him?” Cell narrowed his eyes at the icejin. “Wine isn’t exactly a heath food.”  
“Shut up!” Frieza hissed and continued looking at the icejin girl, who seemed to be handing the class over to another good-natured sap. Frikiza turned to face Frieza’s cave and started to fly towards it. “Oh dammit, she’s coming over!” Frieza growled and moved away from the window. “I’m not home.”  
“That never works.” Cell smirked, and started to walk towards the cave’s entrance.

Frieza let out an annoyed sigh and threw himself down onto the sofa, holding out his arm.  
“Wine.” He ordered.  
“Yes Lord Frieza.” Zarbon said, rolling his eyes. “Where is Dodoria?” He questioned as he poured his master a glass, silently thinking to himself, _“He should be doing this!”_  
“I sent him on an errand.” Frieza replied. “I thought it was best…” He looked at Zarbon. “Unless you wanted to get into bed with him as well?”  
“Ugh… No.” Zarbon answered, his face twisting in disgust. Frieza smirked.  
“I thought not.” He said, and took the glass off Zarbon.  
“Look who it is!”

Frieza and Zarbon looked up to see Cell entering the lounge chamber of the cave with his arm around Frikiza, smirking at Frieza tauntingly as if to say ‘what are you going to do about it?’. Frieza glared at Cell and looked at the icejin that was smiling brightly at him, completely oblivious to Cell’s ill intentions. Cell was always so nice to her, just because he knew it annoyed Frieza. He thought it was fun, and Frikiza was too naïve to realise that Cell’s affectionate gestures were no more than a game to him. If she knew what was really going on in Cell’s head she wouldn’t be so keen to smile back. In fact she wouldn’t want to go anywhere near him, not if she knew what he really wanted to do to that sweet little body of hers…   
“Hello Frikiza. Lovely to see you.” Frieza said without enthusiasm. Frikiza giggled and ran over to him.  
“Hi niichan!” She beamed, throwing her arms around Frieza.  
“Get off me!” Frieza hissed, pushing her away. “I’m not your older brother Frikiza, how many times do I need to tell you! You are the female version of me, we are the exact same age and technically we aren’t even related!” He looked away from her. “And to be honest even if I was your older brother I wouldn’t own up to it. Do you have any idea how humiliating it is watching you purify all these tainted souls? You’re alive Frikiza, can’t you find a better hobby than rehabilitating people? Like, for example… ruling an empire?”  
“Right, because that life really worked out for you!” Frikiza pouted. “The only reason I’m still alive and you’re not is because I chose to be nice to people instead of trying to terrorise them!”  
“Really?” Frieza looked at her with a smirk. “Well at least _I’m_ not on the run from my family.”  
“How can you be? They’re down here with you!” Frikiza argued. “Anyway…” She looked away, smirking. “I did have a special gift for you, but if you’re going to be so mean then maybe you don’t deserve it.”  
“A gift?” Frieza looked at her. 

Frikiza shot Frieza a wicked glance and nodded.  
“Mm-hm!” She beamed. “But only if you promise to be nice – and I want you to attend a rehabilitation class!”  
“Well then…” Frieza uttered and took a sip of his wine. “Keep your stupid gift. I can get plenty of chocolate down here as it is.”  
“Really… That’s a shame…” Frikiza smirked, reaching down the front of her armour. “Because this isn’t chocolate… and I was hoping I wouldn’t have to drink it all by myself…” She pulled out a capsule and looked at Frieza. “Are you sure?”  
“Hm?” Frieza glanced at her. “What is it…?” He asked cautiously.  
“Our favourite brand.” Frikiza winked.  
“Tch! Impossible. You can only get that on our home planet – and I know you haven’t been there ever since you decided to betray your family!”  
“But me, Zarba and Doria took a huge supply of wine when we left.” Frikiza laughed a little, semi embarrassed. “But… you’re right – once I run out I can’t go back and get more, and this is one of my last bottles! So once it’s gone, I can’t bring you another.”  
“If it’s one of your last then why are you giving it to me?” Frieza demanded.  
“Because I’m nice.” Frikiza replied. “And because I want something from you.”  
“Forget it! I’m not going to those stupid classes!” Frieza snarled. “Why would I want to be nice? I’ll get taken out of hell – and all my friends are here.” He flashed her a smirk.  
“Well, it was worth a try.” Frikiza sighed, tossing the capsule over her shoulder for Zarbon to catch. “But… you can still help me. Do you know the demon king, Piccolo?”  
“Piccolo?” Frieza looked at her. “Yes, I know him. What about him?”  
“I’ve been trying to take him on as a client for a week now, but every time I try to go near him he just flies away.” Frikiza sighed. “But he gets spy-screens from you, right? So next time you see him, tell him to let me be his counsellor. I’m sure you can get him to do it in exchange for a screen.”  
“Why would I do that?” Frieza snorted. “And why do you want him? There are millions of others people down here that you could reform.”  
“Well… I was trying for months to rehabilitate his counterpart in my universe, but I just couldn’t get through to her…” Frikiza sighed. “But I figured, if I can just change the guy version at least, that’ll be something.”  
“But if you can’t change her then what makes you think you could change him?” Cell questioned, taking a seat next to Frieza.  
“I probably can’t…” Frikiza admitted. “But I want to try. At the very least, based on what she’s like, I’m sure he would be an interesting person to know.”  
“Hm…”

Frieza looked at his female counterpart, and started to smirk. “You can’t fool me, Sister.” He purred.  
“Wh-what do you mean?” Frikiza asked, blushing a little.  
“Come on. An ‘interesting’ person to know? You’re targeting him.” Frieza said.  
“Oh… I see.” Zarbon smirked, looking down at Frikiza. “I suppose he’s just your type is he? I didn’t know you had a soft spot for bad boys, Frikiza. Maybe you and I _do_ have something in common.”  
“No! It – it’s not like that!” Frikiza insisted, blushing. “This isn’t my universe – I’m only allowed to work here if I get results, and well – I figured if I can convert _him_ , then I’ll be allowed to stay working here for years!”  
“Whatever. I don’t believe you.” Frieza said, still smirking. “But sure, I’ll get him to do it.”  
“You will? Thanks!” Frikiza beamed and threw her arms around Frieza. “I’ll be back over here tomorrow afternoon – let me know what he says!” She giggled a little as Frieza forcefully shrugged her off. “I have to go now – see you tomorrow!” Frikiza waved at the boys and ran out of the cave.

Cell moved his eyes to stare at Frieza in disbelief.  
“Why did you agree to that? He’s going to corrupt her, you know.” He scolded.   
“Exactly.” Frieza replied. “And then maybe she’ll be a little more bearable. At the very least she’ll be less of an embarrassment to me.”  
“You’re so selfish, Frieza.” Cell smirked. “He won’t just make her less cute, he’ll completely break her down. She’ll start crying, you know.”  
“Well…” Frieza looked at him wickedly. “I’m sure you’ll be there to watch, won’t you?”  
“Yes. _Angrily_.” Cell growled. “You know very well that I wanted to be the one to break her.”  
“Shut up!” Frieza hissed, his face twisting at the thought of Cell acting out his dark fantasies on Frikiza. “That’s disgusting – and what do you want her for anyway! She’s just a bad version of me!”  
“That’s a good point…” Cell purred, moving himself on top of the icejin. He looked down at Frieza and his eyes twinkled wickedly, his tongue teasing against his lips and he looked down at the smaller, weaker creature. “I could just break you, couldn’t I my darling?” Cell moved his eyes up to Zarbon and looked at him sternly. “Leave.” He ordered.  
“What? No!” Zarbon argued. “He was with me first! I’m not leaving just because –” Zarbon stopped when Cell’s stern glare started to turn deadly, and it was joined by Frieza. “… fine.” Zarbon muttered angrily, and started to storm towards the cave’s entrance. “I’ll be outside when you’re done!”  
“Go for a walk!” Frieza called after him, and Zarbon clenched his fists in anger at the sound of Frieza and Cell laughing.


	2. Ringout

“Frieza! Frieza, hurry up!” King Piccolo’s impatient voice echoed through Frieza’s cave.  
“Ugh. Doesn’t that monster have any manners?” Zarbon growled, not looking up from his magazine.  
“Mm.” Frieza, Cell and Dodoria all grunted from their various positions in the room. Frieza and Cell were lounging across the sofa, staring at the TV while Dodoria stood at Frieza’s side with a large, half-full bottle of wine.  
“Why don’t Ross and Rachel just get together already? They both obviously want to.” Cell growled, frowning at the TV in annoyance.  
“They do in the end.” Frieza stated.  
“Hey!” Cell glared at him. “I never told you to spoil it for me!”  
“Really? That’s how it sounded.” Frieza smirked. “And who in the world doesn’t know what happens at the end of Friends?”  
“I don’t! Or at least I didn’t!” Cell snarled.  
“Oops.” Frieza uttered, looking at him mockingly. Cell raised his arm at Frieza, forming a ki ball in his palm.  
“Just keep smiling you little –”  
“ _ **Frieza**_!” King Piccolo’s voice made Cell’s open palm clench into a fist, reabsorbing the ki attack.  
“Can one of you answer that old demon!” Cell barked.  
“Zarbon, the door.” Frieza said.  
“Dodoria, get the door.” Zarbon ordered, causing Frieza to laugh. Dodoria glared at Zarbon and headed for the door, allowing Frieza to swipe the bottle of wine from his hand before he left.

Moments later King Piccolo stormed into the room with Dodoria racing in after him.  
“Hey! What the hell do you think you’re doing!” Dodoria roared.  
“Shut up.” King Piccolo snarled, glaring at him. He looked at Frieza. “Spy-screens.”  
“Did Dodoria invite you in?” Frieza asked, his eyes glued to the TV screen as Cell flicked through the channels. “Oh – Star Trek! Leave it on.”  
“No, I didn’t!” Dodoria answered. “Want me to take care of him, Lord Frieza?”  
“No… Just get him a spy-screen.” Frieza instructed. Dodoria nodded and left the room as Frieza smirked in amusement at the TV. “Oh, it’s the one with an evil Captain Kirk.”  
“Oh, I _love_ this episode!” Zarbon purred, approaching the TV. He watched the screen, and shuddered. “Imagine being _his_ right-hand-man…”  
“What?” Frieza looked at him. “You worked for **me** for years, and you’re wondering what it’s like to work on a ship with an evil commander?”  
“Hey. Sorry to interrupt, but I have your payment.” King Piccolo said impatiently, holding out a bar of butterscotch flavoured chocolate, as requested. “Do you have any idea how difficult it was to get this? You’d better give me a screen that lasts longer than twenty minutes! I want an hour!”  
“Oh, really? Was it hard to get…?” Frieza said with a wicked smirk. “Well now I almost feel bad… because I want something different this time.” He looked at the demon king. “I want you to let Frikiza be your counsellor.”  
“ _ **What**_!” King Piccolo roared. “Counsellor? Are you insane, Frieza! Do you really think I would be weak enough to join that pathetic rehabilitation program? I’m the Demon King, Piccolo!”  
“I thought you’d say that.” Frieza replied. “It’s too bad – because I’m not going to give you a spy-screen until you do it.”

King Piccolo watched Dodoria re-enter the room, and stared hungrily at the spy-screen in the pink alien’s arms.  
“Why do you even want me to sign up…?” He growled. “After all, if I get moved up to heaven then who’s going to provide you and your pretty boyfriends with stupid flavours of chocolate?”  
“Tch. Piccolo, do you really think you’re my only supplier?” Frieza snorted, finishing his wine. “Believe me, you need this transaction more than I do.”

King Piccolo hesitated, staring at the spy-screen for a long moment, before he finally spat at Frieza and turned away.   
“You can forget it.” He snorted. “Keep your spy-screen, I would rather sacrifice my son than my dignity.”  
“Oh?” Frieza looked at Piccolo, and smirked. “Well then how about two spy-screens? And they will last for an hour each.”  
“…” King Piccolo looked at him. Two hours…? He could really see a lot of Junior with that…  
“All you have to do is give her one chance. It’s easy money, if you ask me.” Frieza shrugged.  
“… Just one chance, and I can leave her whenever I want?” King Piccolo uttered. Frieza nodded. “… Four screens.”  
“Two.” Frieza answered.  
“Three.” King Piccolo replied.  
“ _Two_.” Frieza stared at King Piccolo with a menacing glare, his ki rising and sending a cold, dark shiver down King Piccolo’s spine.  
“… Fine.” King Piccolo muttered reluctantly. He looked at Dodoria. “So go get another one.”  
“Hey, watch it.” Dodoria snarled.  
“Dodoria, go get another one.” Frieza ordered. Dodoria grunted in annoyance, but obeyed.

While they waited Cell looked at King Piccolo and steadily approached the namek, staring at him.  
“ _What_?” King Piccolo growled.  
“… Yoink!” Cell beamed, and snatched the chocolate from King Piccolo’s hand.  
“Hey!” King Piccolo barked. “We never agreed on that!”  
“Oh, we’re stating the obvious?” Cell remarked, returning to his seat. “You’re green and weak.”  
“ _ **Grrrrr**_ …”

XXXXX

“Well… That looks awkward.” Tambourine sweat dropped, staring out of King Piccolo’s cave.   
“Uh-huh.” His three mutant namek siblings all nodded in agreement.  
“I don’t think Frikiza realises that she’s playing with fire.” Piano gasped.  
“It’s a shame… Frikiza was kind of cute. I don’t think I want to watch King Piccolo murdering her.” Drum uttered glumly.  
“I wouldn’t worry about it Drum, he wouldn’t let you have a girlfriend anyway.” Cymbal replied.

The four of them were stood at a safe distance, in the entrance of King Piccolo’s cave, watching while King Piccolo and Frikiza had their first counselling session. Frikiza had tried to take King Piccolo back to her base, where their session could be private and confidential, but he’d refused. Not that it made much difference – he was refusing to talk to her anyway. They were sat opposite each other away from the cave, out of earshot of the mutants. King Piccolo had his arms folded and his shoulders hunched angrily and stubbornly. He was glaring at Frikiza, just like he had been for the past five minutes, and every word she spoke seemed to make him more and more enraged.  
“Piccolo… This would be a whole lot easier if you just talked.” Frikiza sighed. The demon king didn’t respond. He just continued to glare at her. “Look – if you weren’t going to treat these counselling sessions seriously then why did you even agree to do them?” Frikiza frowned.  
“Not ‘them’. One. This one.” King Piccolo finally spoke, after a long and difficult silence.  
“Okay… That’s a start.” Frikiza mumbled. “Well… the session is an hour, which means you only have an hour to talk – and you’ve already wasted five minutes of it!” She looked at the demon king, and he just smirked at her, his eyes twinkling menacingly. Dammit… Frikiza let out a sigh. He wasn’t going to talk. He was planning on sitting there in silence for a whole hour; that way he wouldn’t have done any work, but nobody could say he hadn’t attended his counselling session! Why was he being so difficult? “You know, if you just talked a little about your life it might make you feel better.” Frikiza said. “You might not be so… angry all the time.” 

King Piccolo continued to sit in silence, smirking at her mockingly. Stupid girl… What was she hoping to accomplish here? Did she think he would suddenly break down in tears and start talking about all the terrible people that had wronged him? Did she think she could save his soul, or purify him? Idiot. King Piccolo didn’t need saving. He _liked_ being an angry demon. He enjoyed being evil, terrorising people and making them do whatever he wanted… Who wouldn’t enjoy that? It really was the lifestyle of a king. “Do you want to talk about your son?” Frikiza’s words pulled King Piccolo to her attention, and he glared at her darkly, his blood starting to boil. How dare she… How _**dare**_ she… “He’s friends with Goku now, right? That must make you pretty mad –”  
“Do _**not**_ talk about my son!” 

Frikiza’s words were cut off by King Piccolo’s hand clasping itself around her throat. In just milliseconds he had suddenly appeared in front of her and grabbed hold of her, lifting her up to his eye level as he stood on his feet before her. His free hand clenched into a fist and he gritted his teeth, snarling at Frikiza angrily as he glared into her eyes. “You will never mention him to me again. Do you understand?” King Piccolo seethed.  
“Wh… Why?” Frikiza choked, trying to pull out of his grasp. “Y… Your son – he’s a good guy –”  
“He’s a traitor!” King Piccolo roared, his anger burning and his ki flaring up so much it sent the rocks around them flying.

Over in his cave the mutant nameks watched the scene, trembling under the feeling of King Piccolo’s rage.  
“She’s really pissed him off!” Tambourine gasped.  
“I bet she mentioned Junior!” Drum growled.   
“Well if she did I am _not_ happy with her.” Piano frowned. “I specifically told her not to mention Junior! He’s going to be in a foul mood all day!”  
“He’s not gonna let us go to the amusement park, is he?” Cymbal sobbed.

Meanwhile Frikiza gasped, struggling to breathe under King Piccolo’s titan grip.  
“O… Okay!” She choked. “S-Sorry… I won’t mention him again…” She stared into King Piccolo’s eyes, trying to weigh him up as he watched her. He held his grip on her for a moment as he stared back… Then he suddenly smirked.  
“Good.” King Piccolo grunted, and suddenly threw Frikiza to the ground with all his might. She landed forcefully, cracking the ground underneath her and causing the earth to shudder from the impact. King Piccolo simply sniggered to himself, and sat back down.

Frikiza lifted herself up onto her hands and knees, batting the rocks off herself with her tail. Her entire body was aching… How much force had he put into that throw? Maybe she should have tried to protect herself a little… 

She turned round and looked at him, climbing to her feet.  
“Well, what _do_ you want to talk about?” Frikiza asked. King Piccolo simply looked at her, and continued the silent treatment. “What? Seriously?” Frikiza whined. “Piccolo, this is ridiculous! You can’t sit here in silence for an hour!”  
“Forty five minutes.” King Piccolo smirked.  
“Is that so?” Frikiza growled, folding her arms. She studied him for a moment, thinking to herself. _“Hm… Maybe if…”_ Frikiza suddenly smirked as an idea came into her head. “Hey. How about we do things your way?” She began. King Piccolo looked at her curiously.  
“My way?” He uttered.  
“Mm.” Frikiza nodded. “You obviously don’t have any problem hurting a girl… So, let’s fight. If I lose, I’ll let you go home now and I’ll never bother you again, and if I win, you have to let me be your counsellor for the next eight weeks – and that includes coming to our meetings!”

King Piccolo stared at her in disbelief.  
“Are you serious?” He gasped. What, did she had a death wish or something? He could feel her power, it wasn’t half as high as his! And she had just seen what he could do! There had to be some sort of catch to this…  
“Here.” Frikiza moved her tail to draw a circle in the ground around them. “Whoever goes outside of the ring loses, okay?”  
“… Hm.” King Piccolo snorted. That was it. She didn’t actually think she could defeat him, she just thought she could push him out of the ring. How naïve of her. “Are you sure about this, Little Girl?” King Piccolo said cockily, his wicked eyes sparkling with delight at the thought of fighting a living being. “Don’t you think there’s a chance that I’ll kill you before you can even lay a finger on me? You are alive, aren’t you? You _do_ have something to lose.”  
“Well… maybe.” Frikiza shrugged. “I guess we’ll have to see, won’t we?”

King Piccolo started to chuckle. Great… This was great! How could she be so stupid? She knew how powerful he was – how could she possibly think that she could even so much as push him? Well… whatever. This worked out well for him. It would put an end to this ridiculous counselling business, and… he would get to kill someone! King Piccolo’s whole body tingled with excitement as he thought about it. It had been so long since he’d spilt someone’s blood… Hot, warm, _living_ blood… When was the last time he’d squeezed the life out of someone’s body? He’d almost forgotten what it felt like, to feel the beat of a frightened heart in his hands, before it steadily stopped and the sweet smells of fear and defeat filled his nostrils… King Piccolo licked his lips in anticipation, his bloodlust growing. He felt so evil! He _loved_ feeling like this!  
“Okay.” King Piccolo rose to his feet and looked down at Frikiza. She was such a small opponent… It was almost a disappointment; if he was going to kill a living person again he had hoped it would be Goku, or at least someone who could give him a decent fight… Still. Fear was fear, and defeat was defeat, and blood was blood. King Piccolo smirked, his eyes twinkling wickedly as he thought of an idea. Why not make this fun? He opened his arms out to expose his unguarded body to Frikiza, and smiled down at her. “Why don’t you go first, Dear?”  
“No… It’s okay.” Frikiza smiled back. “You’re the man, right? You should lead.”

King Piccolo started to laugh. How could she be so confident? No wonder she spent her life trying to turn bad people good – she was so stupid! She was so naïve it was almost unfunny; how in the world had she managed to survive past childhood? She must have been the luckiest person in the world to not have been killed already – or even worse. There were plenty of people down here who would certainly love to do much more than just kill her. She should count herself lucky that she was only up against King Piccolo and not some deranged pervert – at least King Piccolo would stop touching her body after he squeezed the life out of it! 

Anyway… Fine. If she did insist on dying so soon… He would take the lead.   
“Okay.” King Piccolo agreed, looking down at Frikiza with an evil grin. “Well, I tried to be fair.”   
“It must have felt strange.” Frikiza teased. King Piccolo wasn’t insulted; he was amused by her arrogance. Such a fool… Die!

King Piccolo threw himself at her, putting every last ounce of strength in his body into a single punch. He couldn’t hold back; as much as he wanted to savour this moment, he had spent so many years longing to draw another’s blood that he couldn’t even hope to restrain himself now! He felt every second as if time had been slowed down. He felt his power channelling itself into his fist; he felt the air move against his skin; he felt the heat of Frikiza’s alive body draw nearer as his fist approached her, ready to punch that warm life right out of her in one single blow. King Piccolo felt his fist break through the armour on her chest – he was aiming for her heart. He wanted to destroy her being at its source. He felt her armour shatter around his fist; he felt the material graze against his skin, he felt his flesh come into contact with hers… and that was as far as he got. What the hell!

King Piccolo stood in awe, dumfounded when all the strength in his body failed to put a hole in hers. It felt like he was punching a brick wall! Time didn’t speed up. It still felt as if the world was moving in slow motion as King Piccolo felt the force of his punch bounce off her and travel back up his body. It was all so slow, until…  
“ _ **Aiiiiii**_!” King Piccolo howled in pain as all the might he had put into his punch suddenly came flying back at him, right up through his arm and into his shoulders, then finally down his back and all through his spine! He stared down at his fist with wide eyes and an open jaw, horrified at the sight he saw before him. His entire fist was bright purple and pulsing! His fingers were shattered – she had _broken_ his fist! And… and his arm! King Piccolo gagged and spluttered as he took a step back from Frikiza, suddenly realising that he couldn’t move his arm, or his shoulder… He felt pain. God, the pain! How had she done this? How had she managed to hurt him so much!  
“Hey.” Frikiza frowned up at him. “You broke my armour.”  
“What – **gah**!” King Piccolo was suddenly cut off when Frikiza’s tail came lunging at him, hitting him with such force it sent him flying out of the ring and into a giant mountain a mile away.  
“ _ **Aii**_!” The mutant nameks all gasped, unable to believe their eyes.  
“K-King Piccolo!” Piano cried.  
“What the hell did she do!” Tambourine screamed, and they all raced over to their master.

King Piccolo twitched, groaning as an overwhelming pain flooded his body. How… How had she done that…? He coughed and regained his composure, just in time to jump out of the way as the mountain collapsed around him. King Piccolo floated in mid-air, staring down at the pile of rubble that had stopped his flight. How had some done so much damage…? How!  
“King Piccolo!” Piccolo looked up to see the mutant nameks racing towards him. Tambourine and Cymbal hovered in front of their master, looking at him in awe.  
“A… Are you, okay?” Tambourine sweat dropped. King Piccolo looked down to see Piano and Drum staring up at him from the ground.  
“… Fine.” King Piccolo grunted, and flew down to his mutant children, followed by Tambourine and Cymbal.   
“King Piccolo…” Piano gasped. “What… What happened, Sire?”  
“Shut up!” King Piccolo roared, causing the mutants to all tremble in fear.   
“Piccolo…”

King Piccolo and the mutants all looked up to see Frikiza standing there with her arms folded, looking at King Piccolo smugly.  
“So. I guess you’re my client now, right?” She smirked.  
“… Who are you?” King Piccolo snarled.  
“Well… Don’t tell anybody, but I’m actually Frieza.” Frikiza answered.  
“ _ **What**_!” The mutants all cried.  
“Yeah.” Frikiza nodded. “He doesn’t want anybody to know, but… I’m him, from another universe. You guys know I’m from another dimension, right?”  
“But your power level isn’t anywhere near his.” King Piccolo frowned, not believing her. He glared at Frikiza angrily. “Insolent girl – do you really think I am that much of a fool?” King Piccolo snarled. “Who are you, really! _**Tell me**_!”  
“I am him!” Frikiza protested. “But I’ve been alive longer, so I’ve learned how to read ki and lower my power level. Actually, I’m stronger than Frieza now. I… kind of decided I should start training, just in case my family find me and try to kill me for shaming them…” Her face darkened and she lowered her eyes in embarrassment as she spoke those last few words.  
“Huh…?” Tambourine looked at Frikiza, tilting his head as he studied her. “King Piccolo… She does kind of look like him…”  
“What? But – but that’s cheating!” Piano frowned.   
“Yeah – you deceived King Piccolo!” Drum growled.  
“What?” Frikiza looked at them. “Are you guys really complaining that I wasn’t fair? _You guys_?”  
“It’s fine, Boys.” King Piccolo growled. He looked at Frikiza angrily. “I never cared for fairness before, and I won’t start now.” He smirked at her nastily. “Especially not for you, _Frieza_.”

Frikiza glared at him.  
“So you believe me now?” She seethed.  
“Well… I suppose it would explain your power… and why you are such a repulsive creature.” King Piccolo spat, believing her. So… another Frieza? Great. Was this one a perverted, disrespectful, over-confident and under-dressed alcoholic as well?   
“Just make sure you show up on time to your rehabilitation classes!” Frikiza snapped, insulted by his last remark.   
“Oh, I will.” King Piccolo nodded. “Not that I’ll be much use while I’m there.” He gave Frikiza a cold, mocking stare that told her just how much he planned on making her wish she had never even met him. After all, what choice did King Piccolo have? Frikiza had just humiliated him, in front of his children! She had to _pay_.   
“Well. You still have the rest of your session left. So do you mind?” Frikiza pouted.  
“Mm.” King Piccolo nodded again, and ripped off his broken arm. Frikiza gasped, her eyes widening.  
“Piccolo! Why did you –” She stopped when she saw another arm sprout in its place, and her face darkened in embarrassment. “Oh… right. I forgot you could do that.” She mumbled. King Piccolo just looked at her, and sat down, nodding at the mutants. They nodded back obediently, and left to return to their cave. “Okay, so… where we were?” Frikiza began, sitting down opposite King Piccolo. King Piccolo looked at her, and shrugged, refusing to utter a single word. “No… Piccolo, stop it!” Frikiza yelled. “Stop fooling around! You’re supposed to take these sessions seriously!”

King Piccolo simply narrowed his eyes at her and continued his silent treatment, reminding her that he never actually agreed to cooperate. “Fine.” Frikiza uttered, looking away. “Well, maybe I’ll just sit here and talk about your son –”  
“Don’t you dare!” King Piccolo roared, and Frikiza giggled triumphantly.


	3. The Trade

_Sniff. Snivel_.  
“ ** _Waaaaa_**!”  
King Piccolo’s fists clenched as the infuriating sound of a weakling’s crying invaded his ears. This was an outrage… Here was he, the legendary Demon King Piccolo, at an Evil-Doers Anonymous meeting! He couldn’t decide what was worse, the fact that he was here at all, or the fact that here was here because of that disgusting lizard creature Frieza! This was humiliating… No, more than humiliating! This couldn’t even be put into words!  
“So… So I guess I… I just…” The blubbering coward sitting next to King Piccolo sobbed. “I just decided to be bad, and never have anyone in my life… So they can’t leave like she did!” And then he started crying hysterically, throwing himself onto King Piccolo’s shoulder.  
“ _ **Get off me**_!” King Piccolo roared, smacking the crying man to the ground.  
“Hey!” Another member of the group glared at him. “What the hell’s your problem?” He helped his companion up and sat him back down, putting his arm around him. King Piccolo just glared at the two of them. Pathetic. What were they even doing in hell? This was a home for criminals, not a clubhouse for bleeding hearts!  
“Okay Toma, that was very good.” The counsellor in charge of the meeting smiled. King Piccolo didn’t know her name… He hadn’t listened. “Um… Piccolo?” Fuck! She was looking at him. “Maybe next time we should congratulate people for their bravery?”  
“Bravery?” King Piccolo looked over at the sobbing man in disgust. “The only brave thing he ever did was touching me – and look where he ended up.” The man burst into tears again, and King Piccolo smirked in satisfaction. Weakling.  
“Piccolo, it is _very_ brave to admit what got you into hell! That’s the point of these sessions – to find the problems within ourselves and fix it. You want to be moved up to heaven, don’t you?” The counsellor smiled.  
“Of course.” King Piccolo smiled back. “After all, if I were in heaven, I would have an endless supply of do-gooders to terrorise.”

Most of the people in the group gasped, while a couple sniggered and smirked… King Piccolo made a note of them. They seemed like his kind of people!   
“Hey!” One of them whispered over to him. King Piccolo looked at the man; he was a human with long hair and a lot of badly drawn tattoos – they looked like he had drawn them himself. “Totally feel you, Buddy.” The human man grinned. “Been your biggest fan since back in the day – keep the world green.”   
“Uh… Thanks.” King Piccolo uttered, sweat dropping. What a douche…   
“Anyway… Moving on.” The counsellor sighed, and looked at King Piccolo. “You know, I think it would really benefit all of us if we really thought about what it is that makes us evil. None of us are _born_ evil, we simply become that way because of how our lives and been. Piccolo,” She looked at King Piccolo with a small smile. “What do you think drove you to doing evil things?”   
“I was born evil.” King Piccolo answered impatiently.   
“Haha! **Yes**! Say it how it is!” The long-haired douchebag cheered. King Piccolo simply glared at him, and the man shrivelled in his seat.   
“Piccolo…” The counsellor sighed. “You may feel like you were born evil, but trust me you weren’t. None of us were.” “I was.” King Piccolo stated. “I am the living embodiment of the evil in someone’s heart – Kami’s, actually. And you know what, Dear?” He smirked at her. “I _love_ it.”

King Piccolo rose from his seat and glared menacingly at the counsellor, causing her to take a step back. “If you know what’s good for you, you won’t tell anyone what I’m about to do.”   
“Wh… What are you about to do…?” She stammered, her eyes widening in fright. King Piccolo smirked as he looked down at her, his eyes twinkling darkly, relishing her fear as his lips parted and he uttered,   
“Leave.” King Piccolo turned his back to the room and headed for the door, sniggering slightly at the sound of some of the group members cheering behind him.

XXXXX

_“Look at him… That little punk!”_ King Piccolo thought to himself angrily as he stared into a spy-screen. Goku was on the screen today, living the life of luxury with his wife and children, without a care in the world… **Bastard**! King Piccolo gritted his teeth as he watched the overgrown runt. If only he were alive… He would show that Goku what real suffering felt like. His wife, his children, his friends… They would all perish at the hands of King Piccolo, right before Goku’s eyes! Yes… The screams, the fear, the agony… Oh, if King Piccolo was just alive again… How _wonderful_ it would be if –   
“ _ **Piccolo**_!” A bossy, high pitched voice interrupted King Piccolo’s fantasy. 

He looked up in annoyance to see an icejin girl charging towards him.   
“You…” King Piccolo seethed. He looked at Frikiza as she landed in front of him with her arms folded, glaring at him. King Piccolo smirked. She seemed annoyed. _“I wonder why?”_  
“Yes. Me!” Frikiza barked. “Tira told me you walked out of the meeting!”   
“Tira?” King Piccolo uttered. “Is that her name? No wonder I didn’t remember it.” He turned back to his spy-screen. “It’s so dull.”

She was angry. King Piccolo could feel it. Good. That was what she got for trying to turn _him_ into a good guy! Stupid girl. What was wrong with her? Not even this moron Goku would be foolish enough to try to turn King Piccolo into a – 

_Boom_. King Piccolo’s eyes widened as a ball of energy suddenly appeared in front of his spy-screen and blew it to pieces.   
“ _ **No**_!” King Piccolo roared so loudly it made the mountains around him tremble. He turned and glared at Frikiza, his ki flaring. “You stupid girl! What did you do!”   
“You’re supposed to attend the meetings.” Frikiza stated. “It was our agreement.”   
“To hell with our agreement!” King Piccolo screamed. “That was an hour spy-screen!”   
“I don’t care.” Frikiza hissed. “All you had to do was sit in that meeting for thirty minutes – you didn’t even have to contribute! And instead you attack another group member, you insult the group leader, and then you walk out!”   
“Yes, I did.” King Piccolo sneered. “Are you starting to regret taking me on, ‘Frieza’?”   
“… No, Actually.” Frikiza answered stubbornly. “I wasn’t expecting you to be easy…” She glared at him. “But if you’re going to act like a child then I’m going to treat you like one! I want you to write an essay!”   
“An essay?” King Piccolo snorted.   
“Yes! About what it means to be good!” Frikiza said. “You’re going to write it by this time tomorrow.”   
“Oh I am, am I?” King Piccolo snarled. “And what exactly are you going to do if I don’t?”   
“I’m glad you asked.” Frikiza smirked. “If you don’t I am going to destroy every spy-screen you **ever** obtain!”   
“You… You wouldn’t!” King Piccolo gasped.   
“Are you prepared to take the risk?” Frikiza challenged, narrowing her eyes at him.   
“… _**Grrrr**_!” 

In a blind rage King Piccolo threw himself at Frikiza, throwing his clenched fists out to punch the life out of her very being. She dodged him with ease, which only served to enrage King Piccolo more. He went into a frenzy, swiping and kicking and cursing at her at the top of his lungs until he finally worked himself into an exhausted wreck, panting heavily as he towered over Frikiza. Dammit… Why was he so exhausted? He was dead! Why did he even have energy to lose? “You…” King Piccolo seethed, glaring down at Frikiza. “I will **not** do that.” He snarled. “I won’t be humiliated – or controlled – by the likes of you!”   
“Mm-hm.” Frikiza nodded, seemingly unfazed by his aggression. She looked up at him and smiled. “Well then. I guess you won’t be seeing much of Goku, or Junior. I won’t even break your screens – I’ll just get Frieza to stop giving them to you.”   
“Why you…” King Piccolo snarled, his entire body shaking with rage. “You insolent little…” He suddenly stopped as an idea came into his head. Yes… Haha! _Yes_! Perfect! What a genius he was… 

King Piccolo looked down at Frikiza, and let out a sigh, calming himself. “Just one essay?” He questioned.   
“One essay.” Frikiza nodded. “Three hundred words, about what it means to be good.”   
“And you won’t destroy my spy-screens?” King Piccolo replied. “Never again, under _any_ circumstances?”   
“I promise.” Frikiza agreed.   
“… Fine.” King Piccolo spat, turning away. “Well then… Go away. Come back tomorrow.”   
“You promise it’ll be ready?” Frikiza said sternly.   
“You’ll just have to wait and see, won’t you?” King Piccolo taunted. He could feel Frikiza’s anger again; he could feel her glaring into his back. My, she did have a temper… How amusing. King Piccolo smirked in satisfaction, and listened to the sound of her flying away. He waited until she was out of earshot, and then called out to his mutant sons. “Boys! I have a job for you!” 

XXXXX

It was the next day and King Piccolo was sat in his throne, which the weaker inhabitants of hell had been kind enough to build for him, with his minion sons gathered around him, watching as Frikiza read the essay that Piano, Tambourine, Cymbal and Drum had been good enough to write for their master. King Piccolo wore a sinister smirk on his lips as he watched Frikiza. Foolish girl… Did she really think she could outsmart _him_? How naïve.   
“Are you sure my children can’t get you anything, Frikiza?” King Piccolo offered. “Piano is excellent at making tea.”   
“Oh, well…” Piano uttered, blushing slightly. “I aim to please, Your Majesty…”   
“No. It’s okay.” Frikiza replied, her eyes fixed on the essay. “I’m sure you’d ask him to poison it.”   
“You read my mind.” King Piccolo purred, rising to her snipey remark.

After a few moments more Frikiza lifted her eyes from the essay and looked across the nameks.   
“It’s good.” She smiled. “Very articulate.”   
“Thank you.” King Piccolo replied.   
“You should be proud of yourselves, Boys.” Frikiza growled, and glared at the four mutant nameks that surrounded King Piccolo. The mutants gasped and stiffened.   
“ _What do we do now, Sire_ …?” Tambourine whispered.   
“ _ **Shut up**_.” King Piccolo angrily muttered back. He glared at Frikiza. “What do you mean?”   
“You think I don’t know their handwriting?” Frikiza snapped, holding up the essay. “Unlike you, these boys have actually been attending their meetings!”   
“You idiots!” King Piccolo roared at his minions. “Why didn’t you change your handwriting!”   
“Aii!” The mutants all yelped in fear.   
“S-Sorry, King Piccolo!” Cymbal cried.   
“It – it never occurred to us…” Piano sobbed. “Forgive us, we’re so foolish.”   
“Yes you are!” King Piccolo bellowed. “I should vaporise all of you right this second –”   
“You’ll do no such thing!” Frikiza barked, stubbornly approaching him. She stared up at King Piccolo angrily. “Why are you so horrible to them! They’re your children, not your slaves! You should treat them with more respect!”   
“ _That’s what we’ve been saying_ …” Drum whispered to his mutant brothers, and they all quivered in fear.   
“ _Drum_!” Tambourine hissed. “ _Ssh_!”   
“Huh?” Drum looked up to see King Piccolo staring down at him with a cold, hard stare. “… Oh.” Drum sank into himself and lowered his eyes. “S-Sorry, King Piccolo… I – I just meant –”   
“ _ **Yes**_?” King Piccolo snarled.   
“Piccolo!” Frikiza yelled.

She held the essay up in front of him and tore it in two, which caused the mutants to sigh in disappointment.   
“Hey, we worked really hard on that!” Tambourine protested.   
“Sorry.” Frikiza replied, and looked at him. “But you have to know that it was wrong to do his homework for him? Even if it was a beautiful essay.”   
“… Yeah…” Tambourine mumbled, lowering his eyes. “Sorry, Frikiza…”   
“Hey!” King Piccolo barked, smacking Tambourine across the head. “Whose side are you on!”   
“Eep! Yours, of course!” Tambourine shrieked.   
“Fool.” Piano scolded, shooting Tambourine a dirty look.

Frikiza slammed her tail into the ground in annoyance, making a dent in the earth. She narrowed her eyes at King Piccolo.   
“So. I guess you’ll be losing your spy-screens then?” She uttered.   
“Fine.” King Piccolo shrugged. “I told you before – you can’t control me. If that’s the worst you can do, Little Girl, then do it.”   
“Haha!” The mutants all cheered.   
“Yeah! You tell her, King Piccolo!” Cymbal grinned.   
“Silence!” King Piccolo roared, causing Cymbal to flinch.

Frikiza remained silent for a moment, studying the group. How was she going to do this…? He wouldn’t listen to her! Especially not in front of his children; he wanted to look like their big scary leader, after all… How pathetic. Threatening him obviously wasn’t the answer, so maybe…   
“Okay then.” Frikiza said. “How about we make a deal?”   
“Not interested.” King Piccolo grunted.   
“Not even in a hundred bars of chocolate?” Frikiza questioned.

The mutants all gasped.   
“A – A hundred!” Drum cried.   
“Wow! King Piccolo – that’s loads!” Cymbal exclaimed. He looked up at his master. “Imagine what we could do with –” A cold look from King Piccolo stopped Cymbal dead in his tracks. “… It’s… up to you, of course… King Piccolo.”

King Piccolo looked at Frikiza.   
“Tch.” He grunted. “Does this essay really mean that much to you? A mere piece of child’s homework?”   
“No way! I’m not giving you a hundred bars of chocolate just for that!” Frikiza pouted. “I want the essay, and I want you to attend the next Evil-Doers Anonymous meeting – and stay for the whole thing – and I want you to contribute.”   
“What!” King Piccolo growled. “Forget it! All that for a hundred bars? No.” He folded his arms stubbornly and looked away. “… … Two hundred.”   
“One fifty.” Frikiza countered. “But really, that’s the most I can offer you – they won’t let me take any more.”   
“… I don’t want white chocolate.” King Piccolo stated. “If it’s white, we don’t have a deal.”   
“So… we do now?” Frikiza asked hopefully.   
“Bring it in the next hour, and I’ll consider it.” King Piccolo shrugged.   
“An hour?” Frikiza gasped. “That isn’t much time!”   
“Well then.” King Piccolo smirked down at her. “You’d better hurry up and make a start, hadn’t you?”   
“… Fine.” Frikiza sighed. She turned to fly away. “I’ll be back in an hour – oh! And boys?” Frikiza looked across the mutant nameks, and smiled. “That essay was really good… You should be proud of yourselves.”   
“Ah, it was nothing…” Cymbal uttered, blushing bashfully.   
“Yeah… Piano wrote most of it…” Tambourine said, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment.   
“Well I… I just wrote what they said…” Piano uttered with a sheepish smile.   
“And I… I just helped with the grammar…” Drum mumbled humbly. King Piccolo gritted his teeth as he watched the mutants blushing like a group of schoolboys.   
_“Idiots!”_ He thought to himself, and started tapping his claws against the arm of his chair in annoyance. The mutants noticed, and flinched.   
“Bye, Frikiza.” Piano mumbled.   
“Bye!” Frikiza smiled, and flew away. 

King Piccolo looked down at the mutants angrily.   
“So.” He snarled. “She’s your new friend, is she?”   
“N-No King Piccolo…” The mutants all replied in shame. 

XXXXX

“Seventy-three… seventy-four… seventy-five… Where’s the rest?”   
“Right here. You’ll get them after you attend the meeting.”   
“ _ **What**_?”   
“Come on. You don’t think I’m foolish enough to trust you, do you?”

Well… She had a point. King Piccolo had originally planned to take the chocolate and run, until Frikiza had realised that he was the sort of person to do just that. He had to hand it to her… for someone who was naïve and stupid enough to think that he could actually turn good, she was great at not trusting people. So now, here he was. Begrudgingly. At this stupid meeting. King Piccolo had been silent throughout the whole thing, but Frikiza was sitting next to him and he could feel her eyes on him. She’d been staring at him the whole time, urging him to contribute.   
“ _There are only ten minutes left_ …” Frikiza whispered.   
“Mm.” King Piccolo grunted.   
“ _If you don’t say something, you can forget about that chocolate_.” Frikiza replied, causing him to stiffen in anger. The wretched little…   
“So!” Tira smiled. “Does anybody else want to share?”

King Piccolo gritted his teeth when he felt a sharp nudge dive deep into his back. He looked over his shoulder to see Frikiza’s tail behind him, and he glared at her angrily.   
“Do that again and I will _rip it off_!” King Piccolo hissed.   
“ _The deal_.” Frikiza whispered back sternly.   
“You…” King Piccolo seethed. How dare she. What gave her the right to treat him like this? He hated her. He hated every inch of her, almost as much as he hated Goku! He couldn’t decide what was worse; being killed by a child, or being controlled by this alien lizard girl freak! King Piccolo’s eyes travelled down her frame, weighing up the many ways in which he could kill her, until he reached her feet… and he saw the bag of chocolate on the floor next to them. Dammit… Fine. 

King Piccolo folded his arms stubbornly. Well… Alright. He would contribute – but when he was done he would be sure to tell Frikiza just how much he didn’t mean a single word of it! King Piccolo cleared his throat and parted his lips. “I do.” He uttered.   
“Oh! Piccolo, great!” Tira beamed. “Go on. What would you like to say?”   
“… I was murdered by a kid.” King Piccolo growled. “And now his son is friends with mine.”   
“Wow… That must be tough.” Tira said sympathetically, and was followed by a low murmur as the other members of the group nodded their heads in agreement. “So… How does that make you feel?”   
“Very upset!” King Piccolo cried in an overly dramatic voice. “It makes me want to do bad things, even though I enjoyed doing bad things before my son was even born!”   
“ _Seriously_?” Frikiza whispered to him angrily. King Piccolo winked at her mockingly.   
“So, what you’re saying is… This boy’s relationship with your son, only fuels an anger you already had within you?” Tira uttered.   
“Yes.” King Piccolo nodded. “It does just that – but I wasn’t angry until very recently. I suppose it all started when I died.”   
“But… You did bad things before you died…” Tira said, blinking in confusion.   
“Yes. I was very angry when I was alive.” King Piccolo nodded.   
“Um… I’m sorry, I don’t think I understand you.” Tira sweat dropped.   
“ _Stop_.” Frikiza hissed, glaring at King Piccolo.   
“ _Are you sure_?” King Piccolo whispered back.   
“ _Yes_! _Just stop mocking her_!” Frikiza snarled. King Piccolo smirked.   
“ _You’re the boss_.” He replied, and looked at Tira. “I’m sorry… this is difficult for me. Do you mind if we stop?”   
“Of course.” Tira smiled, nodding. “Piccolo, saying as much as you did was extremely brave – wasn’t it everybody?” And she was followed by cheers… Pathetic.

After the meeting was over an infuriated Frikiza stormed out of the meeting room with King Piccolo practically skipping behind her.   
“You didn’t have to mock her! She’s trying to help!” Frikiza yelled.   
“I don’t want her help.” King Piccolo replied, stepping in front of her. He held out his hand. “The chocolate.”   
“… Fine.” Frikiza huffed. “I suppose technically you did everything you were supposed to… Even though you didn’t do it properly!” She narrowed her eyes at him and reluctantly held up the bag that was in her hand.   
“Thank you!” King Piccolo beamed, and snatched the bag from her hand, then looked at her. She was smiling at him strangely… Why was she doing that? “What’s the matter with you?” He demanded.   
“Nothing.” Frikiza smirked. “It’s just… Your essay.”   
“It was bullshit.” King Piccolo stated flatly.   
“I know.” Frikiza replied. “But… It’s hard to write stuff like that, especially if you don’t mean it. … Thank you for doing that, and for contributing.”   
“What?” King Piccolo frowned. “You just yelled at me for mocking her.”   
“Well, it wasn’t nice!” Frikiza scolded. “But… I wasn’t sure if you would even say anything at all. So thank you.”   
“You left me no choice.” King Piccolo snarled.   
“You always have a choice.” Frikiza replied. 

King Piccolo flinched. What was with her? What she mad at him or not? Why was she looking at him like that? It was sort of… patronising. Was she trying to make a fool of him? Did she _pity_ him?   
“I don’t need your sympathy!” King Piccolo spat. “I know I have a choice! Listen to me – I do whatever _**I**_ want, do you understand? And nobody – not you, nor anybody else – can make me do anything!”   
“Fine! Sorry!” Frikiza protested. “I just – wanted to say thanks, and…” She folded her arms, looking at him curiously. “You know… you essay… It really was well-written. I mean, in terms of grammar and vocabulary… I had no idea you could be so articulate.”   
“What did you think I was, some kind of dim-witted meathead?” King Piccolo snorted.   
“Well… yeah.” Frikiza grinned.

King Piccolo let out a loud roar and swiped at her, trying his best to rip her to pieces.   
“You rude little girl! Show some goddamn respect!” He screamed. “I’m the evil side of **Kami** , of course I’m articulate! Why the hell do you think they call me the king of demons! I’m not some low-level idiot, I am demon royalty!”   
“Don’t you just call yourself that?” Frikiza questioned. “I mean, isn’t Dabura the king of the demon realm –”   
“ _ **I am the demon king of Earth**_!” King Piccolo screamed so loudly his voice echoed right across the depths of hell, causing its inhabitants to look up in wonder. “I’m king of my clan – haven’t you heard of the thousands of demons that plagued the Earth when I was in my prime? I am their king!”   
“Okay, fine.” Frikiza shrugged. “Well, whatever. Enjoy your chocolate.”   
“I will!” King Piccolo barked. “And I want another fifty bars just for insulting me!”   
“Oh come on.” Frikiza sighed. “It’ll take you weeks to get through the hundred and fifty I already gave you – nameks aren’t even supposed to eat, are they?”   
“Fool! It’s not for me.” King Piccolo snorted. “I wouldn’t eat this shit if you paid me.”   
“Huh…?” Frikiza blinked in confusion and watched as King Piccolo took off towards Frieza’s cave.

She could hardly believe her eyes as she watched King Piccolo. He went into Frieza’s cave with the remaining seventy-five bars of chocolate she had just give him… and he emerged with a huge stack of spy-screens, then out of nowhere his mutant minions appeared to carry them home for him. Really…? So that was why he wanted chocolate? To trade it? Well, if she’d known that…   
“Hey!” Frikiza called, and flew over to King Piccolo. “I didn’t know you traded that chocolate! I thought you ate it yourself.”   
“Tch. No.” King Piccolo grunted, his face twisting. “I’ve never even tasted it – it looks vile!”   
“Well…” Frikiza mumbled. “The whole point of me giving it to you was so that you could have something you’d actually enjoy…” She looked at him. “So – what _do_ you want? Something that you aren’t just going to trade away?”   
“Nothing.” King Piccolo replied stubbornly. “There is nothing you can give me that I could possibly want.”   
“Well… what food do you like?” Frikiza questioned.   
“I’m not interested in food or drink.” King Piccolo said.   
“Well how about a normal TV? You know, the boys might like it –”   
“No. They don’t need any distractions.” King Piccolo growled. He narrowed his eyes at her. “Listen. Frikiza. I don’t want food, or drink, or TV, or anything else for that matter. The only thing I want is to be able to go to Earth and kill Son Goku, so unless you can give me life, then you have nothing to offer me!”   
“Well… It can be arranged.” Frikiza shrugged.   
“What?”

King Piccolo stared at her in disbelief. Had he just heard her right? Could she… Could she grant him _life_?   
“Well I’m only supposed to do it for people that have done well in their sessions…” Frikiza began. “And it can only be for a day… But yeah. When I started working here, they said I can choose people to be brought back to life. So, if you really want –”   
“ _ **Yes**_!” King Piccolo exclaimed. 

Frikiza gasped as he suddenly grabbed hold of her, digging his claws into her arms as he lifted her up to his eye level. “You can revive me!”   
“It – it’s just for a day…” Frikiza sweat dropped. “And it’s only supposed to be if you’ve been good –”   
“I have been good!” King Piccolo yelled. “I wrote your essay didn’t I? And I contributed in that meeting!”   
“You made up the essay and you lied in the meeting!” Frikiza argued.   
“But you said yourself you appreciate the effort I put in! And my essay was so well-written, after all.” King Piccolo replied. Frikiza giggled.   
“Well… Yeah, that’s true. Okay.” She smiled at him. “I’ll see what I can do.”   
“Yes!” King Piccolo exclaimed excitedly. Oh this was… This was… unreal! Finally, after all this time he would be granted life! Finally, after all these years of rotting down here in hell while that runt Goku carried on with his life, while that traitor Junior became a friend of the one that had murdered him, King Piccolo would have his revenge! One day of life…? That would be plenty! All he had to do in that day was find the dragonballs, then he could wish himself back to life for good and his one day of life would suddenly become an eternity! He would be eternally young, and on top of that the dragon granted more than one wish now, didn’t it? Thanks to that little namekian boy. King Piccolo could wish to be the most powerful being in the universe! And then… Then he would finally be able to kill Goku! He would kill Goku, and his family, and his friends, and he would reclaim his place as the king of Earth and rule the world – no, the universe – and there wouldn’t be a soul alive that could stop him! Yes… Yes, it was beautiful! It was what he deserved! Finally, after all these years… _**Yes**_!   
“Um… Piccolo?” Frikiza’s voice broke the demon king from his fantasy.   
“Hm?” King Piccolo uttered, looking at her. Frikiza was blushing slightly as she looked at him.   
“Your… Your claws are hurting…” She mumbled.

King Piccolo paused, realising that he was still holding her in front of him. His cheeks flushed violent for a brief second and he suddenly let go, allowing Frikiza to fall to the floor.   
“So. Are you going to do it?” King Piccolo demanded, looking down at her.   
“Well… You didn’t have to drop me.” Frikiza growled. She rubbed her arms where his claws had been digging in, her cheeks still slightly dark as she thought to herself, _“He has a strong grip…”_ She stared up and King Piccolo and smiled. “Sure.” Frikiza nodded. “I’ll go ask. I’ll let you know what they say.” With that, she flew off.

King Piccolo watched her leave, and then a wide grin spread across his face as he shrieked in excitement and darted towards his cave, screaming as he approached his mutant children,   
“Boys! I’m going to kill Goku!”


	4. Returning To Earth

“This is bullshit!” A sulking Frieza huffed, folding his arms in annoyance. “Why does that overgrown slug get to be alive again? _I’m_ your brother!”  
“You always say you’re not my brother!” Frikiza argued. “Anyway, if you want to earn a day of life you have to join the rehabilitation program.”  
“Whatever.” Frieza hissed. “Just make it happen. It’s not like I’m going to do any harm while I’m alive.”  
“Ha!” Cell laughed. “You’re such a liar, Frieza.”  
“Shut up!” Frieza growled, glaring at him.  
“Frieza… I don’t believe you.” Frikiza stated. “Your family may be down here, but you’re forgetting that _I_ used to run the Planet Trade Organisation in my universe – I know how many contacts you have. If you were alive, I don’t even want to think about how much damage you could do to!”  
“Trade Organisation? Contacts?” Cell repeated, smirking at Frieza. “You’re so organised crime.”  
“Thank you.” Frieza purred, and looked at Cell fondly. “You know… If I ever get my empire back I’ll make you my new right hand man.”  
“What!” Zarbon cried. “What the hell, Frieza!”  
“Are you surprised?” Dodoria grunted, looking at him. “You’ve been replaced. Deal with it.”  
“You have nothing to worry about, Zarbon.” Cell said, and moved his eyes to Frieza. “If I was ever given life again, I would start a rival empire.”  
“You’d _**what**_!” Frieza yelled.  
“Oh don’t look so sad.” Cell soothed, smirking at Frieza mockingly. “You can be my chief underling.”  
“Why you dirty little –”  
“Frieza!” Frikiza barked, grabbing Frieza’s tail before he could lunge himself at Cell. “Why did you ask me to come here? Was it just so I could watch you two argue?”  
“No!” Frieza snarled, turning on her. “It was so you could explain why you have given life to King Piccolo!”  
“It wasn’t me who did it!” Frikiza protested. “I just nominated him, but the decision was made by –”  
“Oh, don’t give me that crap!” Frieza snarled. “So why didn’t you nominate me?”  
“What do you care anyway?” Frikiza frowned. “You have all your family and servants down here. If you were alive you’d just spend a day doing things for yourself for a change. I mean, it’s not like you could actually start up your empire again. I’d be watching you like a hawk and I wouldn’t let you do a single bad thing!”  
“What?” Frieza blinked. “You’d be there?”  
“Of course!” Frikiza gasped. “You didn’t think they’d just let a hell inhabitant run wild did you? I have to stay at King Piccolo’s side the whole time he’s alive.”  
“Really…” Frieza mumbled. “So what’s the point in reviving him?”  
“Well… I don’t know.” Frikiza shrugged. “He could go visit his son, I guess. Or go see a movie.”  
“I don’t think he’s the type to watch movies – unless it’s through a spy-screen.” Frieza replied. “And he only wants to visit his son so he can kill him, so if you’re going to be there to stop that then what’s the point in him being alive? He can’t do what he wants to do.”  
“Really…?” Frikiza mumbled. “Do you think he won’t have fun…?”  
“Frikiza, does King Piccolo know you’re going to be babysitting him the whole time he’s up there?” Cell questioned.  
“Well… I never said it…” Frikiza admitted. “But… Surely he doesn’t think he’d just be let loose on Earth?”  
“Well… Don’t tell him you’re going with him.” Cell smirked. “It’ll be a nice surprise.”  
“I should tell him…” Frikiza uttered. “What if he decides he doesn’t want to go anymore?”  
“Ugh. Frikiza, you care too much about what people want.” Zarbon said. “That’s why Zarba dumped you, you know. You’re too nice.”  
“She didn’t dump me!” Frikiza argued, blushing. “We – we decided to break it off – together! It was a mutual agreement!”  
“Mm-hm.” Zarbon replied, not believing her.  
“I’m going to tell King Piccolo that I’m coming with him!” Frikiza pouted, and left Frieza’s cave.

Dodoria looked at Frieza.  
“Hey… Lord Frieza. I just thought of something.” He began.   
“That’s very nice, Dodoria. What do you want, a promotion?” Frieza retorted.  
“A promotion? I thought Cell was the next in line for my job.” Zarbon sniped. Frieza glared at him, and Zarbon lowered his eyes. “Sorry, Lord Frieza…” Zarbon mumbled sheepishly. He gritted his teeth and looked up in anger at the sound of Cell laughing.  
“Uh… yeah.” Dodoria uttered, ignoring his master’s remark. “What I was thinking was, they’re not going to Earth until 2pm, right?”  
“And?” Frieza growled.  
“Well… if King Piccolo really is allowed a whole day of life, that would be twenty four hours, right?”   
“ _Yes_?” Frieza said impatiently. “So?”  
“So… I was thinking, twenty four hours would take us to 2pm tomorrow…” Dodoria looked at his Frieza. “So uh, if Frikiza has to stay with him the whole time… What are they going to do tonight?”  
“…” Frieza, Cell, Zarbon and Dodoria all looked at each other, and a wide grin spread across Cell’s face as he exclaimed,  
“They’re going to break Frikiza!”

XXXXX

“Frikiza, I am going to say this for the _last_ time. I do **not** need you to come with me!” King Piccolo boomed.  
“And I’m going to say **this** for the last time! I don’t have a choice! If you don’t take someone to supervise you, you can’t go!” Frikiza argued back. “If you want you can take Tira –”  
“That’s even worse!” King Piccolo roared. “She’s even more pathetic than you!”

As the two of them argued back and forth, King Piccolo’s mutant namekians sons huddled together in the corner, shaking wildly.  
“They’re… They’re going to the surface together! They’re going to spend a whole day together!” Cymbal shrieked. “That’s a date, right?”  
“Don’t be a fool, Cymbal!” Piano scolded. “King Piccolo has to take a supervisor, and his supervisor just happens to be a girl! That doesn’t make it a date.”  
“Yeah – if it’s a date doesn’t he have to give her flowers or something?” Drum looked at Tambourine. “You interacted with a lot more people than we did – what do people do if they want to make it a date?”  
“I – I don’t know! I only spoke to people I was about to kill, and we didn’t talk about that!” Tambourine protested. “Oh! But when I was looking for my targets, I saw some boys and girls holding hands at an amusement park… And they shared ice cream.”  
“So it’s not a date unless you share your food?” Drum questioned.  
“Or do you just have to hold hands?” Cymbal asked.  
“I don’t know. Maybe you just have to kiss.” Tambourine replied.   
“Kiss?” Drum looked at him. “What’s that?”  
“What!” Cymbal gasped, staring at Drum in shock. “You don’t know what a kiss is?”  
“You do?” Drum replied, looking at him questionably.  
“Well… I’ve never done it, or seen it… But I know it’s what people do when they’re dating.” Cymbal said.   
“Well what exactly is it?” Tambourine asked. “I’ve heard of it too, but I’ve never seen it… isn’t it kind of like fighting, but you’re naked?”  
“No, fool!” Piano growled impatiently. “That’s not kissing, that’s something else!” He let out a sigh. “Kissing is just… Well, it’s with your mouths… Essentially it’s just a way to share spit.”  
“Ew!” His mutant siblings all cried.  
“That’s disgusting!” Drum gagged.  
“Yeah, why would anyone do that?” Cymbal frowned.  
“I have no idea. I just know that’s what people do when they’re dating.” Piano shrugged. “Maybe it’s a human thing.”  
“Yeah, must be…” Tambourine mumbled, and the other mutants nodded in agreement. 

Drum looked back over at King Piccolo and Frikiza, noticing how angry King Piccolo was. He was such bad company when he was angry like this… He was so violent and bossy, and he said such nasty things and spoke to the mutants in such a foul way… Drum let out a sigh.  
“Still… Do you think if King Piccolo ever did get a girlfriend, he’d mellow out a little?” He thought aloud.   
“Maybe, but… He’s not gonna meet a girl just in one day, right?” Tambourine reasoned. “After all, he’ll be too busy looking for the dragonballs.”  
“If he ever manages to do even that.” Piano said glumly. “I doubt Frikiza will let him so much as look for them, let alone make a wish.”  
“Yeah…” The other nameks sighed.  
“He’s gonna come back grumpier than ever…” Cymbal groaned. 

They listened in dismay as King Piccolo’s voice got louder and louder as his anger grew.  
“I am not some kind of rabid dog, nor am I a child! I am the demon King Piccolo, and I will not be babysat by anybody!” He screamed.  
“You said.” Frikiza shrugged. “But really, what do you think it’ll accomplish?” She pulled a watch out of the front of her armour and looked at the time. “You have five minutes until you’re brought back to life. Either accept the fact that I’m coming with you and stop acting like a child, or I can cancel it right now and you’ll stay dead forever.”  
“Grrrrr…” King Piccolo snarled in annoyance. He wanted to kill her… Of all the people to spend a day with, why _her_! 

He glanced at the watch in her hand, and King Piccolo’s longing for life suddenly got the better of him. Fine… She would get her way, for now. All King Piccolo had to do was play along. Frikiza was naïve, and far too good-natured. If King Piccolo just acted nice to her for a couple of hours – no, just _one_ hour… She would let her guard down. Then he could break away from her and search for the dragonballs. One hour was alright, wasn’t it? He would hate it, definitely. King Piccolo had absolutely no doubt that it would be a long, agonising hour… but really, what was one hour compared to an eternity as ruler of the universe? Nothing. It was nothing. It was a small price to pay for such a big reward… Fine. 

King Piccolo let out a sigh.  
“Alright. You win.” He grunted, and sat down on top of his suitcase. “You’re carrying the luggage though.”  
“Fine.” Frikiza shrugged. She pulled out a capsule. “Move out of the way.”  
“What – gyah!” King Piccolo leapt off the suitcase just in time to not be put into a capsule. “You stupid girl! Do you have any idea how much I hate being tapped in small spaces!”  
“Well you can tell me all about it when your day starts, any second now.” Frikiza smiled.  
“Hm? Oh…” King Piccolo took a step back as he started to feel funny. His body… He started to feel warm. His energy was changing, his heart was beating… Oh, this was it! Finally! He was becoming alive! “Boys!” King Piccolo looked at his sons and they grinned back at him.  
“Good luck, King Piccolo!” Cymbal exclaimed.  
“Sire…” Piano smiled. King Piccolo met his eyes and spoke to all of them telepathically.   
_“When I gather the dragonballs, I’ll wish you all back.”_  
_“Thank you, King Piccolo!”_ Their voices were the last thing King Piccolo heard before he was suddenly brought back to life, and he and Frikiza disappeared before their very eyes. 


	5. The Amusement Park

_Hiss_. King Piccolo shivered as he felt a light breeze brush against his skin. It felt familiar, like something he had felt so regularly, and long ago… Back when he was alive. He looked in wonder at his surroundings. He was in a field… A field on Earth! He could feel the warm summer air on his skin; he could hear the sound of living beings all around him. He could feel… He could feel himself breathing! King Piccolo exhaled, taking in a huge lungful of air and holding his breath for as long as he possibly could, until it started to hurt and his survival instincts kicked in and forced him to exhale. He was breathing… King Piccolo placed his hand on his chest. His heart was beating… He was _alive_!  
“Are you okay?” Frikiza’s voice came from somewhere behind him. King Piccolo spun around and stared at her with a wide grin on his face, suddenly overcome with glee.  
“I – I’m alive!” He exclaimed, his entire body trembling in excitement. “You – you actually did it!”  
“You didn’t think I would?” Frikiza frowned, seemingly insulted. “Did you think I was lying to you?”  
“Sorry.” King Piccolo said with a smirk. “I’m not the trusting type.” He stared at his surroundings once more and sank to his knees, placing his hand on the grass beneath him. He was really here… _**Yes**_! “I’m alive!” King Piccolo wailed, his voice echoing for miles around. “I’m **alive**!”  
“You are.” Frikiza came up alongside King Piccolo and placed a warm hand on his shoulder, smiling down at him. “So… What do you want to do?”

… Dammit. King Piccolo’s excitement suddenly dwindled. What should he say? If Frikiza knew the truth she would end his new life right now. King Piccolo couldn’t let her know he wanted to gather the dragonballs, or get his revenge on Goku. What could he suggest…? What would be plausible…? … Ah. Perfect.   
“I want to visit my son.” King Piccolo stated, standing up. “Immediately.”   
“I thought you’d say that…” Frikiza sighed. “And you can – tomorrow.”   
“Tomorrow!” King Piccolo cried, staring at her. “What are you talking about!”   
“Well… There was a little concern that if you met your son right away you’d uh… go a little nuts…” Frikiza sweat dropped. “So I’m under orders to keep you away from him for today, and see how you get on… And if you don’t do any damage for the rest of the day, you can see him tomorrow.”   
“ _ **What**_!” King Piccolo roared, his body exploding with anger. “That is ridiculous! You’re – you’re _judging_ me? You’re going to decide whether or not I should be permitted to visit my son? You disgusting little –” He stopped suddenly when he saw Frikiza pressing her finger to her lips in a shushing motion.   
“That’s kind of my point.” Frikiza said, her eyes twinkling as if she were amused. “If you’re going to fly off the handle like that, you can’t see him. So just… calm down.”   
“C-Calm down…?” King Piccolo choked. What was she doing…? She had an odd look in her eyes, and the way she was holding her lips was almost like a smile… Actually, it was a smile! A mocking smile. She was mocking him! “You…” King Piccolo raised his arm to punch Frikiza, when his common sense suddenly got the better of him. No… No, he couldn’t do this. He had to go along with her, for now. Just enough to make her drop her guard, then he could break away from her and find the dragonballs! Maybe he could even kill her if he caught her at the right moment. Yes… That would be beautiful. If he killed her he could spend the rest of the day with absolutely nothing to worry about! Okay… Fine. King Piccolo let out a sigh, calming himself, and lowered his hand. “You’re right.” He uttered, offering Frikiza a wide smile. “I understand, you need to make sure I’m going to behave myself – I suppose you’ll get fired if I do anything bad, right?”   
“Yeah, maybe.” Frikiza growled, narrowing her eyes at him. “What, are you going to do bad stuff just to get me fired?”   
“No… No Dear, of course not.” King Piccolo purred. “You are the reason I’m here, after all. So.” He offered her another warm, fake smile. “What do you suggest we do?” “Well…” Frikiza thought for a moment, then stared up at him with bright eyes. “How about we go to an amusement park?”   
“A… what?”

Meanwhile in hell, King Piccolo’s mutant sons were watching the scene with envy.   
“Aww, he gets to go to an amusement park? That’s totally not fair!” Cymbal whined.   
“You’re such a child, Cymbal.” Piano scolded. “Is that really what you would do if you were alive again?”   
“Well what would you do?” Cymbal questioned.   
“Me? Well…” Piano thought for a moment and then answered, “I would probably go to the theatre.”   
“Really?” Tambourine uttered. “I’d go round all the dojos in the world and fight everyone.”   
“I’d go to a candy store!” Drum grinned. “And nobody could stop me tasting chocolate, not even King Piccolo!”   
“If he were here you wouldn’t dare say that.” Tambourine smirked.   
“Sh-Shut up…” Drum muttered, blushing.   
“Hey!”

The mutants all looked up to see Dodoria standing in front of them. “Lord Frieza’s got a job for you guys.” Dodoria stated.   
“Not interested.” Piano growled.   
“Yeah – King Piccolo said that while he’s gone, we’re just supposed to trade chocolate for spy-screens – and we haven’t been to our meeting yet, so we don’t have any chocolate!” Drum pouted.   
“Yeah, that’s why I’m here.” Dodoria replied. “Lord Frieza says that when you go to that meeting you have to find out the name of the hotel where Frikiza and Piccolo are staying – oh, and their phone number.”   
“What? We can’t do that!” Cymbal protested. “Why would they tell us that stuff?”   
“That’s for you guys to think about.” Dodoria shrugged. “If you don’t get that information, Lord Frieza isn’t giving you any spy-screens.” He said, and a wicked smirk spread across his lips. “And I’m supposed to beat the crap out of all of you.”   
“What!” The mutants all gasped.   
“But – how are we supposed to get that information! This isn’t fair!” Piano cried.   
“I don’t know. Why don’t you just say that your daddy told you boys to call him at bedtime?” Dodoria sniggered. “I don’t really care how you do it, but if you don’t, I get to pound you guys up to heaven. So… Whatever. It’ll just be more fun for me if you fail.” He turned his back to the mutants and looked over his shoulder, smirking at them mockingly. “See ya!” With that, Dodoria flew off back to Frieza’s cave.   
“I don’t like it when King Piccolo goes away…” Tambourine sighed. The other mutants all nodded in agreement. 

XXXXX

A short while later on Earth, an angry-looking King Piccolo followed Frikiza through the gates of an amusement park.   
“This is a waste of time. Why couldn’t we do _my_ suggestion?” He growled.   
“You suggested hunting.” Frikiza said flatly.   
“That’s a real sport!” King Piccolo protested.   
“I know.” Frikiza stopped and looked at him. “But I’m not allowed to let you kill _any_ living thing, whether it’s a real sport or not! I said we could go clay pigeon shooting.”   
“Tch.” King Piccolo snorted. “What’s the point if they’re not real birds? We might as well go to an amusement park.”   
“Right. So you agree with me then.” Frikiza smiled, and continued walking.   
“What? No I don’t!” King Piccolo barked. She was real driving his patience… King Piccolo began chasing after Frikiza, but had barely made a few steps before he saw something out of the corner of his eye. Something… glistening.

King Piccolo looked up to see a shooting stall. The entire entrance of the park was filled with stalls and gaming machines, but this particular one… King Piccolo’s eyes widened as he looked at the top prize. It was a shiny orange ball with three stars on it… Could it be? Here, of all places… _**Yes**_! What luck!   
“A **dragonball**!” King Piccolo exclaimed, his fists clenching in excitement.   
“Huh?” Frikiza turned around to see King Piccolo stood a few feet away from her, grinning as he looked at a shooting stall. She walked up to him. “You wanna play there?” Frikiza asked.   
“Yeah!” King Piccolo grinned and grabbed her arm. “Come on!” 

He dragged her over to the stall and slammed his hand down on the counter.   
“You!” King Piccolo barked at the attendant. “I want to play!”   
“Please.” Frikiza growled, her cheeks darkening in embarrassment. She looked at the man. “Sorry. He doesn’t get out much.”   
“What!” King Piccolo glared at her and clenched his fists in annoyance. “Grrrr –”   
“It – it’s okay.” The attendant sweat dropped, and handed King Piccolo a dart gun. “You just have to hit the target –” He didn’t get a chance to speak another word before King Piccolo hit his target dead in the centre on his first attempt. “… Yeah. Like that.” The attendant uttered, and smiled. “Okay, great! You can have any of those.” He pointed to a row of large pink and blue teddies that were positioned on a shelf below the dragonball.   
“What? No!” King Piccolo snarled, and pointed at the dragonball. “I want that one!”   
“Oh – sorry. You have to win five times to get that.” The attendant replied.   
“What!” King Piccolo roared. “You insolent moron! Give me that ball **now**!”   
“Piccolo!” Frikiza barked. “Stop acting like a jerk!” She looked at the attendant. “Sorry about him – he has anger issues.”   
“You don’t say…?” The attendant mumbled, looking at King Piccolo timidly.   
“If he wins five times, can he still keep the prizes from the first four wins?” Frikiza questioned.   
“Well… you’re supposed to trade them –” The attendant glanced at King Piccolo and couldn’t help but tremble under the demon king’s cold, menacing stare. A cold chill ran down the attendant’s spine as he looked into King Piccolo’s eyes; they were so unsettling… So _terrifying_! The demon king seemed to be eyeing him up for some reason, like he was about to kill him… Not just kill him – rip him to shreds! Fuck! Was this guy really going to do that? This job wasn’t worth that much! No way! “S-Sure! You can keep them!” The attendant whimpered. “Just please, don’t kill me!”   
“Okay! Thanks!” Frikiza looked at King Piccolo with a smile. “Listen – you have to do it another four times, but you can take stuff back to hell with you if you behave yourself, so you could give those teddies to the boys, right? It’ll be nice.”   
“Tch. Fine. But they won’t want them.” King Piccolo growled. “My sons are demon offspring, not soft-hearted children.”

XXXXX

“So Frieza, how did those freaks get the number again?” Cell questioned as he flew alongside Frieza through hell.   
“Oh – listen to this. They told that Tira girl that they had to call King Piccolo at bedtime so that he could wish them goodnight.” Frieza smirked.   
“What! Seriously?” Cell gasped. “And she gave them the number off that?”   
“Eventually. When they told her that Drum has nightmares, and only his father’s voice can calm him down.” Frieza laughed. “And do you know the worst part? I don’t think it was even a lie.”   
“Haha! That’s pathetic. My Juniors never need calming down – they love nightmares!” Cell grinned.   
“Yeah, Kuriza too. If he ever woke in the night he would just go back to sleep by himself. If you go to them just once you have to do it all the time afterwards, the less love you show your children the better.” Frieza said.   
“That’s easier said than done…” Cell mumbled, blushing slightly.   
_“And he wonders why his kids act out all the time. He’s far too soft on them.”_ Frieza thought silently. He looked up, and smirked. “Found them.”

Frieza and Cell landed above a small crater in the ground and stared down at its inhabitants.   
“Bibidi and Babidi?” Frieza uttered. The two inhabitants, the wizards Bibidi and Babidi looked up.   
“Yeah?” The older wizard Bibidi replied.   
“What do you want?” His son Babidi demanded.   
“You guys are wizards, right?” Frieza began. “I want you to use your magic to make a phone that can call the world of the living. More specifically, a hotel on Planet Earth.”

The two wizards looked at each other, and then laughed.   
“What, are you an idiot? Do you really think it’s that easy?” Babidi snorted. “Magic is an art form, not some kind of party trick.”   
“Ah – Babidi!” Bibidi scolded. “What are you saying? You’re making it sound like we aren’t capable of that kind of magic.” He looked at Frieza and offered a sincere smile. “I must apologise for my son, he’s a little hasty sometimes. What Babidi meant to say was, of course we can do that…” His sincere smile suddenly turned into a smirk. “We just won’t.”   
“Oh. Well, that’s a shame.” Frieza replied, folding his arms. “Because my friend Cell here just loves to absorb people, and from what I heard your son doesn’t do so well against creatures like that.”   
“Huh?” Bibidi and Babidi blinked.

A wicked smirk came across Cell’s lips and his eyes twinkled in delight as he looked down at the wizards. Then, before they could even so much as blink his tail came flying out from under his wings and stopped dead above Bibidi and Babidi, the tip pointing right at them.   
“Now fortunately _I_ can control my monsters…” Frieza purred, and narrowed his eyes at the wizards. “But maybe I won’t.”   
“What!” Bibidi and Babidi cried.   
“You bastards!” Bibidi snarled, and raised his hands up to cast a spell on Frieza. “Pap –” Before he could finish his spell Frieza’s tail came flying at him and wrapped itself around Bibidi’s throat, choking him.   
“Papa!” Babidi cried. He looked up to see Cell’s tail pointing right at him, ready to absorb or strangle him at any second, before he could even think of casting a spell. “Boys! Help!” Babidi screamed.   
“Sorry, Master…” A familiar voice came from above him. Babidi looked up and his eyes widened in horror when he saw Zarbon standing there, smirking down at him mockingly as he held a badly beaten up Pui Pui in his arms. Babidi turned around and gasped when he saw Dodoria also staring down at him, also smirking, and holding the unconscious Yakon.   
“So.” Frieza uttered. “How about I let Cell absorb you while I break your Papa’s neck, does that sound like a fair deal?” He smirked. “Or would you rather just do what we say?”   
“A-Alright…” Babidi whimpered.   
“Good. That’s more like it.” Frieza smiled in satisfaction, and released his grip on Bibidi. 

Babidi looked at his father in concern.   
“Papa – are you okay?” He asked.   
“Do I look okay!” Bibidi roared. “Just give them the damn phone!”   
“R-Right…” Babidi sweat dropped. He raised his arms to cast his spell, then suddenly stopped. “Uh…” He looked at his father. “… Can you… remind me how to do it again?”  
“ _ **God dammit**_!” Babidi screamed, while Frieza and his companions giggled in amusement. 

XXXXX

“Haha! Again! Again!” King Piccolo exclaimed in excitement after riding something called ‘Venom’ for the eighth time in a row.   
“Really?” Frikiza laughed. “There are other rides here, you know.”   
“So what?” King Piccolo grunted. “I like this one.”   
“Why? Because it’s pitch black inside?” Frikiza questioned, looking at him knowingly. “And it’s supposed to be set in hell, with a big scary demon chasing you?”   
“Precisely!” King Piccolo grinned. “It’s my kind of roller coaster!”   
“Yeah…” Frikiza nodded, smirking slightly. “It’s sexy, right?”   
“… Huh?” King Piccolo blinked, and looked down at her. That was a little weird… That was the last thing in the world he had expected her to say! Sexy? She thought being chased through hell by an angry demon was sexy? … What kind of do-gooder was she?

Frikiza giggled.   
“I’m thirsty. Let’s get a drink, then go on the log flume.”   
“What the hell’s a log flume?” King Piccolo frowned.   
“It’s a water ride.” Frikiza answered. “There.” She pointed at the next ride along, which seemed to be another roller coaster, but on water. “It’s fun.” She said, and started to wander off towards a drink stall. King Piccolo watched her leave, and then looked at the log flume. He wasn’t impressed by it. Why the hell did she want to go on that monstrosity? Did she like getting wet? _“After being chased by a demon…”_ King Piccolo’s eyes widened as a thought entered his mind, and he turned bright purple. _“Okay okay – focus!”_ He clenched his fist and took a deep breathe, clearing his mind. He didn’t have time to think about stuff like that! He had to get the dragonballs! King Piccolo looked over at Frikiza. Now was his chance… Frikiza was heading for the drinks stand; she wasn’t looking at him. It was still a little too crowded to kill her… That was a shame. King Piccolo had been looking forward to that. Still… The crowd would provide an excellent mask. Now was his chance to break away! King Piccolo took one last cautious look at Frikiza, then he turned… and started to race through the park.

Within seconds he was on the other side of the amusement park with Frikiza far behind him, completely oblivious to the fact that he’d run away. Haha! _**Yes**_! This was great! He hadn’t expected to lose her so soon! They’d only been here for thirty minutes and she’d dropped her guard already, how unbelievably stupid she was! King Piccolo held a wide triumphant grin on his face as he darted towards the large wall that separated the amusement park from the outside world. Flying was too risky; Frikiza would easily be able to see him in the air, but if he just broke a hole in this wall he would be long gone by the time Frikiza found him. Okay… Great! King Piccolo looked around, making sure there was nobody watching, then he raised his hand to blast through the wall. One… two… –   
“Hey.” Shit! Frikiza’s voice caused King Piccolo to freeze on the spot. Dammit… How the hell had she found him!

King Piccolo turned around to look at Frikiza, and smiled.   
“Haha! Got you!” King Piccolo grinned, pretending it was a game. She would buy that, wouldn’t she? She was pretty naïve, after all…   
“Actually, I got you.” Frikiza said flatly, narrowing her eyes at him. “I got you trying to escape.”   
“E-Escape…?” King Piccolo sweat dropped. Okay, maybe not that naïve…   
“Did you really think I’d drop my guard that easily?” Frikiza frowned. “I only turned away to give you the opportunity to run – which you _weren’t_ supposed to do, by the way.”   
“Grrr… You tricked me.” King Piccolo seethed. That scheming little bitch… How dare she trick him! What a treacherous thing to do! What a dirty, **deceitful** –   
“Yeah.” Frikiza nodded, interrupting King Piccolo’s thoughts. “This is your last warning. You do that again, and you’re going straight back to hell. Got it?”   
“Shut up.” King Piccolo snarled. “I will not be tricked by a child like you!”   
“Really.” Frikiza replied with a smirk. “Because I think you just were.”   
“Why you –”   
“Ah-ah.” Frikiza uttered, holding her tail up in front of the enraged King Piccolo, blocking the attack that he was about to throw at her. “Don’t even think about it. You know I can hurt you more than you can hurt me. If I were you, I wouldn’t waste my time.” She calmly raised the disposable drink carton that was in her hand, and placed her lips around its straw. King Piccolo frowned in confusion when he noticed that her other hand was also holding a drink.   
“Is… that one for me?” He questioned.   
“Mm.” Frikiza nodded. “Not that you deserve it.” She held the drink out to him. King Piccolo looked at it cautiously, trying to figure out whether or not it was poison. Or just disgusting. There was no way she was into the same kind of cuisine as him.   
“I won’t like it.” King Piccolo said stubbornly.   
“Really? Well… someone told me you drank a melon soda when you were alive, so I assumed you like that.” Frikiza replied. “Don’t you?” Melon soda? … Actually yeah, he did like that.

King Piccolo snatched the drink from Frikiza’s hand and didn’t so much as look at her before he downed the entire thing in one hit. He crushed the empty carton in his hand and burped loudly, then grinned in satisfaction. Ah, that tasted good… He’d almost forgotten what it felt like to drink anything. Being alive was so exhilarating… “That’s disgusting.” Frikiza growled, glaring at him disapprovingly. “And you’re welcome.”   
“I never asked for it, so you don’t get a ‘thank you’.” King Piccolo shrugged, tossing the empty carton over the wall of the amusement park. He smirked at Frikiza, expecting her to yell at him for not using a bin. She was annoyed. He could tell. But she wasn’t responding. She was forcing herself not to respond, that was how annoyed she was. Haha. King Piccolo smirked in satisfaction. He would get rid of her before the day was done, even if he had to drive her away. “What did you get?” King Piccolo thought aloud, moving his eyes to her drink. Was it another melon soda…? If it was, he was going to take it!

Frikiza didn’t answer. She simply held the carton out to him.   
“Try it.” She ordered.   
“What is it?” King Piccolo demanded.   
“It’s nice.” Frikiza replied. “Try it.” She watched as King Piccolo stared at the drink cautiously, reluctant to take it off her. Frikiza laughed. “It’s not poison! I’ve just been drinking it – if I was going to poison anything I’d poison yours.”   
“Did you?” King Piccolo snarled.   
“I guess you’ll find out.” Frikiza smirked.   
“… Idiot.” King Piccolo grunted, and snatched the drink from her. He looked down at the drink, then raised the straw to his lips…   
“ _ **Aiiiiiii**_!”

Back in hell King Piccolo’s mutant son’s all screamed as they watched the scene on a spy-screen, their faces a mixture of blue and purple.   
“Oh – oh my God!” Cymbal wailed.   
“They’re – they’re exchanging spit! That’s kissing, right?” Tambourine shrieked.   
“W-Well, technically…” Piano uttered, trembling.   
“Well does King Piccolo know that?” Drum gasped. “He wouldn’t do it if he knew that, right?”   
“I – I don’t know…” Tambourine whimpered. “Hey – guys… He’s… He’s the evil side of someone, right…? So… I – I guess all the naughty traits went to King Piccolo –”   
“Silence!” Piano yelled, striking his mutant sibling over the head. “How dare you accuse King Piccolo of such things! Of course he doesn’t know what he’s doing!”   
“So – what, you’re saying he’s naïve?” Cymbal replied. “Or dumb?”   
“Well… No…” Piano said awkwardly. “Maybe… forgetful? Perhaps all the excitement of being alive has made him forget about kissing…”   
“Oh – yeah, that’ll be it, right?” Tambourine nodded. “Definitely!”   
“Uh-huh!” His mutant siblings all nodded in agreement.   
“You guys are pathetic.” 

The mutant nameks all looked at Frieza, who was standing behind them, watching the scene with Cell, Zarbon, Dodoria, Bibidi and Babidi. “Really, kissing via a straw? Do you know how infantile that is?” Frieza growled. “You aren’t in preschool, are you?”   
“You… You mean, you’d do that?” Tambourine stammered, his face turning blue.   
“Well, I’m not saying I would… At the very least it’s unhygienic.” Frieza shrugged. “But it certainly doesn’t count as kissing.”   
“Well then… what does count?” Cymbal questioned.   
“Kissing.” Frieza replied flatly.   
“You guys really haven’t lived much, have you?” Zarbon commented.   
“Well what do you expect!” Piano barked. “That brat Goku killed us when we were all so young – poor Drum here was less than an hour old!”   
“Aw… That is upsetting.” Dodoria mumbled, looking at Drum with what appeared to be genuine sympathy.

Meanwhile, back on Earth, King Piccolo frowned slightly as a new taste spread itself across his tongue. What was this…? The texture was kind of thick, and creamy, and the flavour was sweet… … It wasn’t bad.   
“Do you like it?” Frikiza asked, smirking slightly.   
“Mm.” King Piccolo grunted, pulling the straw away. “It’s okay. What is it?”   
“Chocolate.” Frikiza smiled.   
“ _This_ is chocolate?” King Piccolo gasped.   
“ _ **What**_!”

Back in hell King Piccolo’s mutant sons went from sad to angry as they listened to Frikiza’s response.   
“So **he** gets to eat chocolate?” Cymbal barked.   
“That’s totally unfair! I’ve been saying for weeks that I want to try it, and he says it’s disgusting, and then he goes and eats it!” Drum roared, stamping his feet in anger.   
“Calm down, it’s not like that.” Piano reasoned. “He didn’t know it was chocolate, did he?”   
“Yeah but he seems to like it…” Tambourine commented, watching the screen. “Do you think he’ll let us have some, now that he knows how nice it is?”   
“… I doubt it.” Piano sighed.   
“Forget chocolate, that’ll be the last thing on his mind by the time we’re done with him…” Zarbon smirked, holding up the phone that Bibidi and Babidi had created. “Lord Frieza – check out the honeymoon suite on this place! It’s gorgeous!”   
“Huh?” Frieza looked at him, then stared down at the phone. “Is that the internet…? How did you get the internet down here?”   
“It’s a smartphone.” Zarbon answered, and smirked at the wizards. “These guys are more skilled than they look.”   
“Hey!” Bibidi barked. “What is that supposed to mean! I’ll have you know, ‘Pretty Boy’ that we are the two greatest wizards in – …” A single glare from Zarbon silenced him immediately. “… Just saying.” Bibidi mumbled.   
“We should be careful with this. If the guards find this thing they’ll confiscate it.” Frieza said, and immediately started dialling before the guards of hell could find him.   
“Hey… What did you want it for, anyway?” Babidi asked.   
“He wants to call the hotel where King Piccolo and Frikiza are staying…” Tambourine answered, and looked at Frieza. “But you never said why.”   
“You’ll find out.” Frieza replied, winking at him before speaking into the phone. “Oh – hi. I have a twin room reserved for tonight under the name of Frikiza, I was wondering if I could upgrade… preferably to the honeymoon suite.”   
“ _ **What**_!” The mutant nameks all shrieked.   
“No! No way! King Piccolo’s gonna totally freak out!” Cymbal cried.

The mutant nameks all leapt at Frieza in an attempt to stop him, but they were quickly caught by Cell, Zarbon and Dodoria, who pinned them down with ease.   
“Please! Please don’t!” Piano begged as he struggled in vein against Dodoria’s grasp. He watched in horror as Frieza continued his phone call.   
“Ah, that’s wonderful!” Frieza beamed. “Oh – and do me a favour, could you have a bottle of your finest wine in the room?”   
“Wine?” Tambourine gasped. “You shouldn’t let King Piccolo drink wine! Don’t you think he’s dangerous enough without being drunk as well?”   
“That’s part of the fun.” Cell purred, and looked at Frieza as the icejin hung up. “All done?”   
“All done.” Frieza replied, and the mutants all trembled in fear as their captors released them.   
“What… What have you done…” Piano quivered, his eyes wide and his body shaking.   
“He’s gonna be really mad at you guys, you know!” Drum yelled.   
“Well how is he going to know that I was the one that changed their reservation?” Frieza said, and narrowed his eyes at the mutants. “You wouldn’t snitch on me, would you?”   
“Uh…” The nameks all shrivelled, and shook their heads. “N-No, Lord Frieza…”

Bibidi and Babidi stared at the phone with dropped jaws, at a loss for words.   
“I… I…” Babidi choked.   
“I can’t believe that worked!” Bibidi uttered, and a wide grin swept across his face. “We’re geniuses!”   
“Yeah!” Babidi exclaimed, and the two of them joined hands and started jumping up and down in glee, chanting loudly,   
“We’re the best! We’re the best! We’re the best!”   
“Morons.” Frieza growled.   
“Oh – hey! Let me use that a minute!” Babidi said, holding his hand out to Frieza.   
“What for?” Frieza questioned.   
“Trust me, you’ll like it.” Babidi smirked. 

Frieza hesitated for a moment, but his curiosity got the better of him and he threw the phone to Babidi.   
“You have one minute. Then you’ll give it back.” Frieza said with a menacing stare.   
“U-Understood…” Babidi nodded. He dialled a number, then spoke into the phone. “Hello, can you connect me to the most expensive sushi delivery store in the world? Thanks. … … … Hello! I would like to order _everything_ on your menu, times ten – no, times a hundred, and have it delivered to the Son residence. … The address? Well… I don’t know, Goku’s house!”   
“439 East District.” Cell recited.   
“Oh – thanks.” Babidi said, and spoke into the phone. “439 East District. … Oh, that’s the other side of the world? Well that’s okay – take a plane, we’ll pay for it – and get yourselves a tip while you’re at it. Okay, thank you. Have a lovely evening!” He hung up the phone, and he and Bibidi burst out laughing. “Oh my God! That was great!” Babidi exclaimed. “Okay, who can we prank call next?”

Frieza, Cell, Zarbon and Dodoria all sweat dropped, while the mutant nameks sat in silence, wondering which one of them would be the first to be killed by King Piccolo. 


	6. The Honeymoon Suite

Frikiza smirked a little as she watched King Piccolo’s brows raise in surprise as he stared down at the drink in his hand.  
“It’s not so vile, right?” Frikiza beamed.  
“Yeah…” King Piccolo uttered. “For something that looks so disgusting, it tastes okay.”  
“See. I knew you’d like it.” Frikiza smiled, and held her hand out, gesturing for him to return the drink to her.

King Piccolo looked at her, and his lips formed into a sinister smirk.   
“Yeah.” He grinned. “I do.” With that, he yanked the lid off the drink carton and flung the entire contents into his mouth.   
“Hey!” Frikiza cried. “I never said you could finish it!” She watched in frustration as King Piccolo swallowed the rest of her milkshake, knowing full well that she’d only meant for him to take a sip. King Piccolo uttered a low, evil chuckle and stared down at Frikiza with a mean look in his eyes, licking his lips sadistically.   
“Oops.” He taunted, and tossed the carton over the amusement park wall, just to irritate her even further. “Sorry, Dear. … … Aii!” All of a sudden all the smugness disappeared from King Piccolo’s face as he cried out in pain. “Ah – _argh_!” He threw his hands onto his head and clasped his skull tightly as an overwhelming pain cascaded through his crown. It felt like he was being frozen on the spot – he could barely move! King Piccolo gritted his teeth and squatted down, scrunching his eyes shut as he started to scream in agony. “My – my head! What the hell –” King Piccolo glared up at Frikiza, his eyes suddenly filled with a venomous rage. “You bitch! You poisoned it!” He roared.   
“I did no such thing!” Frikiza argued, and started laughing at him. “It serves you right!” She giggled. “Haven’t you ever heard of karma? If you do bad things, then bad things happen to you!”   
“Like being poisoned!” King Piccolo barked, his energy rising. “How can you even deny it! Is that why you brought me back to life? So you could kill me yourself? Well it won’t work you little bitch! It will take a lot more than this to kill King Piccolo!”   
“Yeah, I know…” Frikiza uttered. “You wouldn’t be much of a terror if you could be killed by brain freeze, right?”   
“Brain… brain what?” King Piccolo growled, still clutching his head. “What are you talking about?”

Frikiza giggled again and smirked at him in amusement.   
“It’s what happens if you drink cold drinks too fast. Here.” She moved her hand out to him, but quickly retracted it when King Piccolo attempted to bite her.   
“Don’t touch me!” He snarled. “Do you really think I’m going to let you kill me!”   
“I’m not trying to kill you, you idiot!” Frikiza yelled. “Just rub your head! Like this!” She started rubbing her own head rapidly, like she was trying to start a fire. “Do it!”   
“Why should I trust you?” King Piccolo hissed. “You’re trying to make me look like an idiot!”   
“Fine then. Stay frozen.” Frikiza pouted. King Piccolo growled in anger. That couldn’t work, right? How could it possibly? Still… …. Whatever! Anything was better than this horrible feeling! King Piccolo reluctantly started to rub his head, and his eyes widened as the icy pain started to fade… wow. He couldn’t believe that had really worked. What was going on here!

King Piccolo looked at Frikiza, who was staring back with her arms folded and an arrogant smirk on her lips. Ugh. She looked like Frieza.   
“It was your drink that did that in the first place.” King Piccolo growled stubbornly.   
“What!” Frikiza gasped. “You only got a brain freeze because you didn’t drink it properly – and you were supposed to give it back!” She let out an angry sigh and glared at him. “Anyway, why do you even drink Earth stuff? I thought nameks only needed water.”   
“Yeah, well… When I was a kid I kind of forgot I was a namek…” King Piccolo mumbled, blushing slightly. “After a while it kind of felt normal to eat and drink Earth things…” He rose to his feet and looked down at her stubbornly. “But it doesn’t matter if I do! Just because I only need water that doesn’t mean I can’t eat and drink other stuff! I can do whatever I want, I’m a demon king!”   
“Doesn’t it make you sick?” Frikiza questioned.   
“Tch! No.” King Piccolo snorted, disgusting by her ignorance. “Do you think I’m some sort of weakling? _Nothing_ makes me sick. It just means… I have more energy to use up.”   
“In other words… if you aren’t careful, it’ll make you fat?” Frikiza giggled.   
“ _ **Shut up**_!” King Piccolo roared. “What do you mean, ‘careful’! I am careful enough – do I look fat to you?”

Frikiza stared up at King Piccolo, her eyes travelling across his frame. He was certainly big, but not ‘fat’, as such… His face was kind of bony, and his arms were coated in thick muscles, his chest was bulky, and firm… Frikiza blushed slightly and looked away.   
“No… You’re the opposite of fat.” She answered. King Piccolo blinked, slightly taken aback by her response. Why was she blushing…? … Whatever.   
“I want to go on Venom again.” King Piccolo stated.   
“It’s on the other side of the park.” Frikiza replied.   
“So? You can fly, can’t you?” King Piccolo grunted, and flew off towards his favourite ride.

XXXXX

Meanwhile back in hell the mutant nameks were in a state of panic.   
“I can’t believe this is happening…” Piano whimpered. “He… He’s going to kill us!”   
“Hey!” Tambourine glared at Frieza and his crew. “You’re going to protect us from King Piccolo, right? This is your fault, after all!”   
“Oh… Sorry, Boys.” Frieza smirked. “I would love to help you, but I have other plans. I suppose you’re just going to have to find a place to hide.” He nodded at Zarbon and Dodoria and leapt into the air, followed by his loyal servants. “Cell, are you coming?” Frieza questioned.   
“Yeah, I’ll catch up. I have to pick up the kids.” Cell replied, also taking flight.   
“What? Already?” Frieza sighed. _“I hate those little brats…”_ He looked at Bibidi and Babidi. “You two are coming as well. I don’t want you giving these boys the chance to put Frikiza and King Piccolo back in a twin room.”   
“Yes, Lord Frieza…” Bibidi and Babidi nodded woefully.   
“Wait!” Cymbal barked, glaring at Frieza and Cell. “You can’t just fly off! You have to help us! What are we supposed to tell King Piccolo!”   
“Tell him I’m jealous.” Cell smirked and he, Frieza, Zarbon, Dodoria and the wizards all flew off, laughing loudly. 

The mutants all let out a scream and started shaking in despair.   
“I don’t believe this!” Piano wailed. “I… I don’t believe it!”   
“Hey – maybe it’s not so bad.” Tambourine reasoned, trying to calm himself. “I mean – all it is is sleeping in the same bed, right? That’s not so bad.”   
“Yeah – they were gonna share a room anyway, right? Does it really matter if they share a bed as well?” Cymbal nodded.   
“Yeah, you know… He might be fine with it.” Drum said.   
“Hm…” Piano uttered, considering it. “Well, I suppose… I suppose there’s always a chance he won’t _completely_ over-react…”   
“Yeah.” Tambourine nodded.   
“Definitely.” Cymbal grinned.   
“Uh-huh!” Drum smiled at his older siblings and they all looked reassured for a brief moment… until they started to doubt every word they had just said.

XXXXX

“Piccolo, can you stop eating already! This is a nice hotel!” Frikiza scolded as she and King Piccolo walked into the lobby of a five star hotel, after a long and exhausting day at the amusement park and an expensive dinner out.   
“Who cares? I have to go back to hell tomorrow afternoon, why should I give a damn about hotel etiquette?” King Piccolo growled. He was angry. He’d tried ten times to escape from Frikiza throughout the day but she’d caught him every time. No matter how fast or how cunning he was he couldn’t seem to shake her; she was like an unwanted shadow! And he hadn’t found any more dragonballs either… He _hated_ today!   
“But it’s disgusting…” Frikiza whimpered, staring at the collection of live bugs in King Piccolo’s hand. “That isn’t food. How can you even eat those?”   
“ _You’re_ asking me that? Are you kidding?” King Piccolo argued. “You’re a lizard, this is supposed to be like bread to you!”   
“At least kill them first.” Frikiza hissed.   
“Nope. I like to feel them struggle.” King Piccolo smirked, and shoved the remaining bugs into his mouth before grinning down at Frikiza menacingly.

Frikiza’s face turned pale.   
“I’m going to throw up…” She gagged.   
“Hello! May I help you?” The hotel receptionist greeted them as Frikiza and King Piccolo approached the reception desk.   
“Yeah…” Frikiza uttered, gratefully turning her attention to the receptionist. “We have a reservation, under Frikiza.”   
“Hm?” The receptionist checked her booking logs, and a big smile swept across her face. “Oh! Yes, I see it! Congratulation!”   
“Huh?” King Piccolo grunted, looking down at her.   
“Uh… thanks.” Frikiza sweat dropped. The receptionist smiled again, and handed Frikiza a key.   
“You’re in room 501, on the fifth floor. I hope everything is to your liking. Checkout for honeymooners is 12pm. The breakfast room is open from 7am until 10am, but we do offer free room service after 8am to anyone staying in the honeymoon suite, so if you’d rather have your breakfast brought to you, just let us know.”   
“What?” King Piccolo growled.   
“Uh… The honeymoon suite?” Frikiza blinked. “We’re not in the honeymoon suite. We aren’t even married – we booked a twin room.”   
“Huh?” The receptionist frowned. “But… we got a phone call just today asking to amend the booking.”

King Piccolo froze. His hands curled themselves into painful fists as he struggled to contain his anger. This was unbelievable… Now he had to act like he was married to –   
“ _ **Frikiza**_!” King Piccolo roared, causing the receptionist to practically leap out of her skin.   
“Piccolo, stop it! There’s obviously been some mistake!” Frikiza barked. She looked at the receptionist sympathetically. “Sorry about him. He has anger issues –”   
“I do not!” King Piccolo yelled. “Would you stop telling people that!”   
“Look – can you just put us in a twin room?” Frikiza asked the receptionist.   
“I’m sorry, but your old room was re-booked, so all I have left now are double rooms.” The receptionist answered. “I can put you in one of those, but to be honest you’re better off in the honeymoon suite…” She moved her eyes to King Piccolo and sweat dropped. “The bed is bigger.”

Great. This was just great. This single day of life was by far the **worst** King Piccolo had ever lived! Why did Frikiza have to come with him! Why couldn’t this stupid hotel book a room properly! Why didn’t he have all of the dragonballs yet! This was bullshit!   
“I want to speak to the manager!” King Piccolo demanded, slamming his fist down onto the reception desk so hard it caused a crack to spread across the entire length of the marble desk.   
“I am the manager.” The receptionist answered.   
“Then I want to speak to the owner!” King Piccolo roared.   
“I am the owner.” The receptionist replied. “I’m sorry, Sir. I can let you have the honeymoon suite without the extra charge to upgrade, but if that’s no good then the only thing I can offer is a refund on your room deposit –”   
“Wait! Shut up!” King Piccolo suddenly interrupted her as a shiny object caught his eye. He couldn’t believe it… First the amusement park of all places, and now here of all places! Maybe Frikiza was good company after all, everywhere she took him seemed to have a… dragonball! It was a dragonball, wasn’t it…? It was on the other side of the circular reception desk, mounted on a stone pedestal… Yes! Yes, it was a dragonball! Definitely! He was having that! “Give me that ball!” King Piccolo ordered. “Otherwise I’m blowing this place apart!”   
“Piccolo!” Frikiza yelled. “Stop being so rude!”   
“What?” The receptionist blinked, and looked over at the dragonball. “Oh… One of the staff found it.” She moved her eyes back to King Piccolo and Frikiza. “Tell you what… If you give us a good review and recommend us to your friends, I’ll give it to you.”   
“Done!” King Piccolo nodded, and the receptionist went off to fetch the dragonball.

Frikiza stared at King Piccolo in shock.   
“What?” She gasped. “What about the honeymoon suite? Do you really want to share a bed?”   
“No of course not!” King Piccolo snarled. “I’ll sleep on the floor.”   
“But –”   
“Here you are.” The receptionist returned before Frikiza could speak another word. “So we’re… okay?”   
“Fine.” King Piccolo grunted, and picked up the dragonball. He stared down at it with a wide grin on his face. Ah… perfect. Perfect! If he could just lose Frikiza tonight… Yeah. He could. Easily. He could sneak out when she was asleep, all he would have to do was pretend to fall asleep first. Surely she wouldn’t notice then, would she? If he just suppressed his movements, and stayed quiet… Okay… Great. King Piccolo smirked to himself, and then tossed the dragonball into his mouth.   
“Uh – Sir, that isn’t edible!” The receptionist shrieked, and her eyes widened as she watched King Piccolo swallow the ball.   
“Tch. I know that. I’m not eating it, I’m storing it.” King Piccolo replied arrogantly. “I can cough it up whenever I want you know – I’m not an idiot.”   
“Oh… I see.” The receptionist sweat dropped, and moved her eyes to Frikiza. “You said you _aren’t_ married to him, right?” She whispered.   
“No… we don’t even date.” Frikiza mumbled, her face turning violet with embarrassment. “Piccolo… why can’t you just put it in a capsule? You put the teddies in a capsule…”   
“I don’t care about the teddies. That capsule can get lost for all I care – the balls are staying with me.” King Piccolo growled, and walked past her. “You’ve got the room key, right?”   
“Yes.” Frikiza sighed, and followed him to their room. 

XXXXX

“Frikiza! How long are you going to be!” King Piccolo roared from outside the bathroom. They had settled into their hotel room – actually it was an exquisite room with plenty of space and no expense spared on furnishings; it certainly was fit for a king… it just didn’t have enough beds. Not that Frikiza was going to bed yet! She’d been in the tub for an hour now, and King Piccolo had long since lost his patience. Just how dirty was she!   
“Sorry… but I love hot tubs! You should come in after me!” Frikiza’s voice answered from behind the closed bathroom door. “Do you need the bathroom?”   
“No! I need to go to bed!” King Piccolo barked.   
“Oh, well don’t wait for me. You can sleep in the bed now if you want, I’ll take the chair.”   
“No, it’s fine…” King Piccolo growled. He wanted to take the bed, but he couldn’t. There was a chair beside the door. King Piccolo had volunteered to sleep in it; that way he could sneak out without having to go past her… If he was in the bed and she was in the chair, she might hear him. Waiting around like this was really pissing him off though. The longer Frikiza stayed in there, the later it would be before she went to sleep! “Just hurry up! I can’t sleep with you in there!” King Piccolo yelled.   
“Why not?” Frikiza questioned.   
“Why does everything need an explanation! Just _**hurry up**_!” King Piccolo screamed. He gritted his teeth angrily at the sound of Frikiza giggling. The nerve…   
“Okay. I’m coming out now.”   
“Finally!” King Piccolo sighed. 

He made his way over to his chair and sat down, his claws tapping against the armrest impatiently while his foot thudded against the ground. Okay… all he had to do was wait for her to go to sleep. She should sleep pretty soon, right? Hot tubs were supposed to be relaxing, weren’t they? And she’d taken a glass of wine in with her. That was one thing King Piccolo could say about this place. The wine was unbelievable! He’d only taken a sip of the wine that had greeted them in this honeymoon suite and he’d wanted to kiss the bottle! He could see why people became alcoholics. He’d had two glasses to himself, then taken a shower. Frikiza had told King Piccolo that he should use the bathroom first, because she would take longer than him… If he’d known she was planning on taking _this_ long he would have tried to make another break for it! Then again, she would have gone after him. She would have sensed him leaving, or heard him. As long as Frikiza was awake she never seemed to lose track of him. Bitch. 

King Piccolo looked up to the sound of the bathroom door opening. Finally! It was about time. Out she came. Fri – … Fri… kiza… … What the hell…   
“Wow!”

Back in hell Cell stared at his spy-screen with wide eyes, trying with all his might to keep his tongue from rolling out of his mouth. “That… that’s what she keeps under her armour?”   
“Oh come on Cell, don’t exaggerate.” Frieza growled from the other side of the room. “It’s not that different to my first form, you know.”   
“Oh no?” Cell questioned, looking over at Frieza. “Come here.”

Frieza let out an annoyed sigh, but obeyed.   
“Honestly Cell, she just looks like me but weaker. Smooth skin and small horns, is that really what you’re into?” He growled as he approached the android.   
“Well her horns may be smaller but look at what isn’t.” Cell replied.   
“Huh? Whoa!” Frieza gasped, staring down at the spy-screen in shock. “Since… Since when did she look like that!”   
“Her armour hides it pretty well, huh?” Cell uttered. “And look at the size of her waist! It’s tiny!”   
“Is it a small waist or wide hips?” Frieza questioned, blushing.   
“Well… you don’t have wide hips.” Cell said, eyeing up Frieza’s midsection.   
“Why the hell would I! I’m not a girl!” Frieza barked.   
“Hey! What’s on TV?” 

A curious Cell Jr. suddenly appeared between the two adults, pushing himself through them to look at the spy-screen.   
“Hey – what are you doing out of bed!” Frieza yelled, glaring down at Cell Jr.   
“I want some chocolate.” Cell Jr. answered.   
“Uh – yeah, whatever. Then go to bed.” Cell answered, not taking his eyes off the screen.   
“What? No – no way, Cell! If you let him have chocolate then they’ll all want some.” Frieza scolded, and looked down at Cell Jr. “No food after bedtime, you know that.” He struck Cell Jr. across the back of his head hard, causing the young creature to flinch. “Now go back to bed, and don’t you dare leave your room until morning – and you can tell your brothers I said that too!”   
“Okay…” Cell Jr. uttered, looking at the spy-screen. “Who’s that lady?”   
“It might be your new mama.” Cell replied with a smirk.   
“She looks like Uncle Frieza.” Cell Jr. said, and looked at Cell. “Can I have some juice?”   
“Yeah yeah, whatever.” Cell answered carelessly.   
“ _ **No**_!” Frieza roared, powering up. “Nothing after bedtime! Get back in your room _**now**_!” He threw his fist down onto Cell Jr., causing him to cry out.   
“P-Papa!” Cell Jr. wailed, clinging onto Cell with tears in his eyes. “He – he hit me!”   
“And he’s going to do it again if you don’t do what you’re told.” Frieza snarled. “You have five seconds. Five. Four. Three –” He didn’t get chance to finish his count before Cell Jr. raced off towards his bedroom. 

Cell looked at Frieza in awe.   
“How do you do that? I can never get them to stay in bed.” Cell said.   
“It’s called ‘discipline’, Cell. You should try it.” Frieza growled. “You shouldn’t treat your children better than you treat your enemies. Kuriza never dared to get out of bed when he was little.”   
“But didn’t he hate you for being so strict?” Cell replied.   
“Maybe, at the time, but then he grew up to respect me. That’s the secret.” Frieza answered. “If you’re too busy trying to be their friend they’re never going to respect you, or obey you. You’re too soft. You’re their father, not their classmate.”   
“You make it sound so easy…” Cell sighed.

Back on Earth King Piccolo was staring at Frikiza. He’d never… He’d never seen her like this before. Normally her body was coated in armour; he’d heard from a few people in hell that she resembled Frieza’s first form, whatever that was. She had black lips and red eyes. Her face was pale pink, with the sides from her cheekbones outwards a darker pink, and her face was surrounded by a thick, armour-like white coating that sprouted two black horns that were accessories with red ribbons… but she’d taken the ribbons off now, so that her horns were bare… and shiny, like they’d just been polished. The top of her head was purple and also shiny – it was practically glowing. Her arms were exposed as usual. Frikiza’s skin was smooth and a darker shade of pink, the same shade as her cheeks, right up to her forearms, where she was coated in that white armour again up to her hands, which were smooth and the same colour as her face. Then normally she wore armour that covered her chest and abdomen, and although it was shaped to resemble a woman’s figure, it was still thick in comparison to… _this._

Frikiza wasn’t wearing her armour now. She was just wearing a red vest. A tight red vest that hugged her figure and revealed her… chest. She… She had boobs! Big boobs. Her armour was shaped to outline them, but even so… King Piccolo had never imagined them to look like this! Not that he’d imagined it. Even if he had, he wouldn’t have pictured this. This was… shocking!

It was obvious that Frikiza wasn’t wearing a bra. She didn’t need to. Maybe it was just the way the vest clung to her; maybe it did have some kind of invisible support inside, but… they certainly seemed to support themselves. They were… They were so round, and soft-looking, and bouncy-looking, and the pale pink skin on her chest was so smooth… Was it like that all the way down her body? Even under her vest, would she feel soft if he… touched her…? _“Stop it!”_ King Piccolo felt his face darken. Okay. He had to calm himself. She was just a girl. He’d seen a girl before! Actually he’d seen hundreds! In real life, on TV, in magazines… Come to think of it Frikiza kind of looked like one of those girls from a certain type of magazine. Her chest sloped so neatly into a slim waist and then it was followed by round womanly hips… Was her waist small or were her hips wide? Her armour hid that too, and then there was where her skirt used to be… 

Frikiza usually wore a black skirt; she’d replaced it with a matching pair of red shorts, but the skirt wasn’t any longer than these shorts, so it wasn’t like King Piccolo hadn’t seen her legs before… but it was different now. Somehow, they looked different. Her legs were also smooth, and coloured the same dark pink as the tops of her arms, then the lower half of her legs were covered in that white armour until her bare feet, which were pale pink… Her legs looked the same as always, until King Piccolo got to the top. More specifically, her butt. He didn’t know what it was, but something about her butt suited these shorts a lot better than it suited her skirt. It was so tight, and her dark pink tail was so smooth, except for at the very end where it had that white armour on it again… King Piccolo could sink his claws into any part of that tail. It would be the best way to pin her down… _“What? No!”_

King Piccolo scolded himself and forced himself to stop thinking about Frikiza in that – that **way**! It was gross! She was _Frieza_! So what if she had an okay body? So did a million other girls who were much better looking than her! He had to focus. He had to concentrate on the dragonballs; he had to concentrate on getting out of here!   
“Sorry I took so long.” Frikiza’s voice broke King Piccolo from his thoughts. She raised the towel that was in her hand and wiped her face. “I just love hot tubs. I love heat.”   
“But you’re… you’re in icejin…” King Piccolo uttered hoarsely, suddenly noticing that her skin was coated in a faint purple glow. He’d been so taken aback by her figure that he hadn’t noticed how hot - - er… how warm she was. She wiped the steam from her face and neck, but she didn’t get it all. Her chest was still moist here and there, making her damp skin glisten… fuuuuuck…   
“Everybody says that.” Frikiza replied, oblivious to the struggle that was happening in King Piccolo’s brain. “Our home planet is cold, and we can survive in freezing temperatures… but really, most of us like heat. I do anyway.” Frikiza placed the towel to hang on the radiator and jumped onto the bed. “This room is huge though, isn’t it? I really wasn’t expecting it to be this big!”   
“Uh… yeah…” King Piccolo choked, trying not to notice the way her chest bounced as she landed on the bed. “Me neither…”   
“Are you sure you’re okay in the chair?” Frikiza questioned, looking at him sympathetically. “I don’t mind taking it. You only get one night here, right? You should take the bed – this has got to be more comfortable than sleeping over there!”   
“I’m fine!” King Piccolo barked, suddenly forgetting all about her body as he became filled with anger. “I’m not some charity case, you know! You take the bed, I don’t need it!” Stupid girl. What, did she think he couldn’t handle sitting in a chair overnight? He slept in far worse places in hell – he didn’t need her pity! He wasn’t even going to be here overnight, if she would just hurry up and go to sleep. “I’m tired.” King Piccolo said bluntly. “Can we turn the lights off now?”   
“Sure – sorry. The earlier we sleep, the earlier we can see Junior, right?” Frikiza smiled.   
“Yeah.” King Piccolo growled.   
“Don’t you have pyjamas?” Frikiza questioned, looking at him.   
“No.” King Piccolo uttered. “Why would I need them? These clothes are comfortable enough.”   
“Yeah… I guess so.” Frikiza nodded. “They look better than armour, anyway.” 

Frikiza crawled across the bed on all fours, stopping to look at King Piccolo with a small smirk before she pulled back the covers. “Last chance. You sure you don’t want to trade?” 

King Piccolo stared at her, his mouth almost watering as he looked at her in that position. On her hands and knees, her back arching down into her hips and then springing up into her butt, her tail hovering above her like a handle… If he was just behind her, he could push her face down into the pillow and… _“No! Stop it!”_  
“I’m fine!” King Piccolo yelped, forcing an unwelcome image out of his mind. What was wrong with him! Had it really been that long since he’d seen a girl like this? Well… ever since his death he’d just watched Goku and Junior… maybe he should have switched channels from time to time. This was embarrassing!   
“Okay.” Frikiza smiled, and climbed into bed, covering herself with the quilt. Thank God… “Goodnight, Piccolo.”   
“Night.” King Piccolo grunted. He was relieved when she finally turned the light off, and hoped she hadn’t noticed the burn he felt on his face.


	7. The Hotel Show

“Dammit!” Cell growled as his spy-screen disappeared before his eyes. “Frieza, go get another one.”  
“How many screens have we wasted on those two now?” Frieza sighed, standing up. “I wish they would just do something interesting already! At this rate we’re going to run out of screens.”  
“Hm… Yeah, you have a point there…” Cell mumbled, and smirked up at Frieza. “Hey.” He rose to his feet. “I have an idea. _**Dodoria**_!” Cell boomed through Frieza’s cave.  
“Ssh! What are you doing!” Frieza snapped, clasping his hands over Cell’s mouth. “You’ll wake the children!”

Within seconds a sleepy-looking Dodoria shuffled into the living room, rubbing his eyes.  
“What’s going on…?” He grunted, and yawned.   
“Watch the kids for me. We’re going out.” Cell replied, and he grabbed Frieza’s arm and bolted out of the cave.   
“What! Hey wait – how long for!” Dodoria cried, but Cell and Frieza had already gone. “Dammit!” Dodoria stamped his feet in annoyance, cracking the ground. He hated babysitting those brats!

At that moment Zarbon wandered into the room, still half asleep and wearing nothing but a silk dressing gown. He yawned and looked at Dodoria.  
“What’s going on?” Zarbon mumbled sleepily.  
“Lord Frieza and Cell took off!” Dodoria snarled. “They want me to babysit those little runts! Screw that, I’m not a babysitter!”  
“Oh… Where have they gone?” Zarbon questioned, pouring himself a glass of wine.  
“How the hell should I know!” Dodoria snapped. “I thought they were watching Frikiza and King Piccolo, then suddenly they tell me to watch the kids and they’re out of here!”  
“Mm.” Zarbon grunted and he sipped his wine, trying to work out what Frieza and Cell could be up to. He took another sip of wine, then seemed to pause as a thought crossed his mind. “Oh…” A sudden smirk made its way across Zarbon’s face and his eyes lit up in delight. “Dodoria, watch the kids!” He exclaimed, suddenly coming to life. He raced off into his bedroom and emerged seconds later fully clothed.  
“What! No – no way! You are **not** leaving as well!” Dodoria barked. “Zarbon, what the hell is going on here –”  
“I’ll tell you later!” Zarbon called as he flew out of Frieza’s cave, leaving Dodoria alone to babysit the Cell Juniors.  
“ _ **Dammit**_!” Dodoria screamed, and froze when he heard the sound of one of the Juniors getting out of bed. “Oh, crap…” 

Back in King Piccolo and Frikiza’s hotel room, King Piccolo was sitting in his chair with his eyes closed, pretending to be asleep. He was listening intently to Frikiza’s breathing. It had changed recently; it was much slower and more rhythmic… She was asleep. He was sure of it. Her energy had fallen a little, and she wasn’t moving. Yes… Perfect!

Now was the time to escape, but he had to be careful. Even the faintest sound could wake Frikiza, and then it would all be over. King Piccolo opened his eyes and looked at the door. All he had to do was stand, and he was practically in front of it. He had to open it quickly. He had the room key; Frikiza had foolishly left it unattended on the bedside table, and King Piccolo had taken it when she was in the bath. Poor girl… She would probably get fired for this. Oh well. King Piccolo smirked at the thought. It was her own fault for being so careless, and naïve. 

King Piccolo stared at the keyhole, pinpointing the exact spot where he had to place the key. If he was quick, but gentle, he should be able to escape before Frikiza could stop him. Alright… Good. This was easy. 

King Piccolo rose to his feet, and glanced over at Frikiza. She didn’t react; she hadn’t even sensed his movement. Was she really so unaware of her surroundings when she was asleep? What a foolish girl. What a mistake to make. Still… He wasn’t about to complain. It was Frikiza’s foolishness that would bring King Piccolo back to life – permanently. King Piccolo crept over to the bedroom door, slowly and stealthily, suppressing his movements, careful not to make a sound. Almost… almost. Okay. He was in front of the door. He had the key in his hand. All he had to do was unlock the door, and run. Run, and not look back. He would be long gone before she could even get out of bed. King Piccolo took one last look at Frikiza, just to make sure she was still asleep. He smirked as he gazed at her, amused at what a fool she had been. It was almost a shame; he thought he might have met his match with her. Obviously not. King Piccolo had won once more. He looked down at the keyhole, then pointed the key towards the door, moved it towards the keyhole, and…  
“Agh!” King Piccolo cried out as a sudden shockwave bolted through his body, as if he had been electrocuted. What the hell! Fuck! His eyes widened as he suddenly realised he had just made a sound. Shit! Frikiza! King Piccolo turned to look at her, and his heart sank. Dammit…

Frikiza was sat up in bed, with a hand on her hip and her tail waving slowly behind her. She was glaring at him.  
“Going somewhere?” Frikiza hissed.  
“You tampered with the door!” King Piccolo snarled back, angered by the pain he had just felt. How dare she do that to him!  
“Yes I did!” Frikiza snapped. “And all the windows.”  
“Why did you do that!” King Piccolo roared. “Do you think I’m some sort of child? I don’t need guarding!”  
“Well obviously you do.” Frikiza argued. “I _knew_ you’d try to escape! I knew you’d take the key!”  
“The key…?” King Piccolo repeated. Oh… oh now it made sense. He thought Frikiza had been stupid to leave the key on the bedside table, unguarded. She wasn’t stupid… she was deceptive! She had tricked him again – this was the second time today! King Piccolo’s blood started to boil. He became so overcome with rage he could hear his own heartbeat; he could taste his own anger! She’d tricked him… She’d made a fool of him. She had made a fool out of King Piccolo! And she would **pay**! “You bitch!” King Piccolo roared. “You aren’t getting away with this!”

He charged at Frikiza, fully intent on ripping her to shreds, but all it took was one quick swing of her tail and King Piccolo suddenly found himself slammed face down onto the floor. He lifted himself up, his entire body shaking in anger. He glared at Frikiza with clenched fists and gritted teeth, and a low, animalistic growl emitted from his throat. He wanted to kill her… He wanted to **kill** her!  
“I’m so mad at you right now!” Frikiza yelled.  
“ _You’re_ mad!” King Piccolo boomed. “How do you think I feel! You tricked me!”  
“You!” Frikiza cried. “How do _you_ feel? You should be happy! Do you know how hard it was trying to get this day of life for you? You didn’t deserve it – everyone told me you didn’t deserve it, but I pleaded and pleaded for them to let you have just one day to see your son and – and **this** is how you repay me!” She glared at him angrily; it was pitch black in the room, but King Piccolo could see the anger on Frikiza’s face clearer than he could see his own hands. “You haven’t enjoyed today at all! You’ve been trying **all** day to get away! You’ve been rude – no, you’ve _terrorised_ just about everyone you’ve spoken to, you’ve damaged things, you’ve thrown trash everywhere, you’ve eaten live bugs which is so disgusting I can’t even stand to think about it!” Frikiza wailed. “You’ve betrayed my trust time and time again and now – now _you’re_ saying that you’re mad? Are you serious? You don’t even deserve to be here!” 

Her ki suddenly exploded with such tremendous force it sent King Piccolo flying back into his chair. He stared at her with wide eyes as a sudden fiery red aura surrounded her, lighting up her frame. She did look angry. Seriously angry. Not just annoyed. She was infuriated. “Piccolo…” Frikiza seethed. “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t just send you back to hell right now.”  
“Because you’re a bleeding heart sap.” King Piccolo replied, not the least bit intimidated by her. He smirked at her mockingly, relishing in her anger. She was losing control. He was doing that. He was breaking her. “Face it, Frikiza. You won’t send me back to hell. Not when you can let me have a heart-warming reunion with my son tomorrow.”  
“Really, is that what you think?” Frikiza hissed. “That I’m such a ‘bleeding heart’ I wouldn’t kill you right now just so I can do a good deed?”  
“That’s exactly what I think.” King Piccolo said, still wearing a menacing smirk on his lips. There was no use trying to fight his way out of here. Frikiza was more powerful than him; there was no way he could break through her barriers… but if he was going down, he was going down fighting. He would make Frikiza regret ever trying to take him on. He would make Frikiza regret ever _meeting_ him. If it was the last thing he ever did, he would make Frikiza sorry she had ever even heard of the Demon King Piccolo!

Her fists were clenched. King Piccolo grinned when he looked at the purple liquid that was spilling from her palms. Blood. It was her own blood. Oh, this was perfect… He’d angered her so much she’d actually cut her own skin! Hahaha! This was wonderful! What was she going to do next, kill herself? Oh, he’d love to see that… If King Piccolo could just say that he’d actually driven Frikiza to suicide, he would happily die again now and spend the rest of eternity in hell! _“Go on, Little Girl.”_ He thought to himself. _“Get to your breaking point. I’m not getting any easier to handle. I told you not to mess with me.”_ His smirk grew wider as he watched Frikiza open her palm and raise her hand to her face. Haha what was she going to do, shoot herself in the head? She certainly had the look for it. She didn’t even look angry anymore, she had gone beyond anger. Now she just looked lost. Lost, and out of her depths. Poor little girl. King Piccolo started to chuckle darkly as he watched Frikiza’s very being crumble before his eyes. _“Poor little girl.”_ He thought to himself, laughing. _“Poor, poor little… … huh?”_

King Piccolo frowned slightly when a smirk came across Frikiza’s lips. She kept her scarlet eyes on him, and all of a sudden they seemed to sparkle. What the hell…? King Piccolo’s jaw dropped when Frikiza brought her hand close to her lips, and started to lick the blood off her open palm.  
“Piccolo…” She breathed. “What the hell are you laughing at?”   
“What – arg!” King Piccolo cried out when Frikiza suddenly appeared before him, her body only inches away from his. He stared at her with wide eyes and searched for her hand, then he realised it was clasped around his throat. He gagged and struggled as Frikiza tightened her grip on him; she couldn’t even fit her hand all the way around him, but it was enough to make King Piccolo struggle to breath. She was gripping the bones of his neck; if she wanted to she could snap it in half. Is that what she was going to do? Dammit!  
“Piccolo.” Frikiza uttered, smirking at him. “I know what you’re trying to do. You’re trying to break me, aren’t you? It won’t work. Do you really think you’re the baddest boy I’ve ever met? I’m the counterpart of _Frieza_!”  
“ _ **Aiiiiiiiiiiii**_!”

King Piccolo wailed in agony as he suddenly felt Frikiza’s free hand grab his antennae. She pulled on them hard, just enough to not rip them straight out of his skull. Fuck fuck fuck this hurt! This really hurt! “S-Stop!” King Piccolo screamed. “Frikiza!”  
“Are you going to behave!” Frikiza demanded. A wave of anger swept through King Piccolo’s core. Oh, that bitch! She couldn’t force him to do what she wanted! He wasn’t going to give into torture – he _was_ torture! There was no way – no way in **hell** that he was giving in to her now!  
“G-Go to hell!” King Piccolo snarled.  
“If I do, you’re coming with me.” Frikiza replied, and tugged on his antennae, dragging another pain-filled scream from King Piccolo’s throat. “You have two choices: either you can behave yourself and have a heart-warming reunion with your son tomorrow, or I can rip out your antennae and break your neck, and send you back to hell where you’ll have to go to rehabilitation classes every single day for a **year**!” She looked at King Piccolo with a smirk. “Which is it?”

XXXXX

“Holy fuck.” Cell choked with wide eyes and an open jaw as he stood in front of a giant viewing orb in the middle of hell, staring at the scene. “Frieza… is your sister a dominatrix?”  
“Thank God he’s only a namek otherwise this would be censored.” Zarbon added with a smirk.   
“Wow…” Frieza gasped, staring at the orb in shock. “I… I didn’t know Frikiza could be so rough!”  
“Hey!” Cell looked over at Bibidi and Babidi, who were also watching the scene, after using their magic to channel the orb onto King Piccolo and Frikiza. “Don’t you guys dare change the channel!”  
“As… as if we would.” Babidi uttered, and as the five of them stared at the orb a crowd started to gather around them.

XXXXX

King Piccolo gritted his teeth and breathed rapidly in a desperate attempt to block out the pain Frikiza was causing him. She… she wasn’t winning. There was no way he was going to let her win! He stared into her eyes, his teeth grinding against each other, almost shattering his jaw. She wasn’t winning, she wasn’t winning… 

King Piccolo stared at Frikiza, suddenly noticing something different about her. She looked unusual, like he’d never seen her before. She looked sort of… alive. Exhilarated, even. What the…? Oh… Oh, that **bitch**!  
“You’re… You’re enjoying this.” King Piccolo seethed. “Is this fun for you!”  
“A little.” Frikiza replied with a sinister smirk. “But I’d much rather let you go. That’s really on your head – literally.”  
“Agggggggggggg!” King Piccolo cried as she pulled on his antennae again.   
“Well.” Frikiza demanded. “Which is it?”  
“What kind of counsellor are you!” King Piccolo roared. “You’re supposed to be nice!”  
“I am most of the time!” Frikiza yelled. “But I’ve done everything I can to help you without ripping your stupid head off, and to be frank I’ve run out of patience! So tell me! Which – is – it!”  
“Let me go!” King Piccolo screamed desperately as the pain became too much to bear. He had no idea what she was doing. She wasn’t just pulling his antennae, she was burning them or something! It was like nothing he had ever felt in his life – he’d had a child jump through his abdomen and that was nothing compared to this! “Okay.”

King Piccolo’s eyes widened as Frikiza released his antennae and powered down, her aura suddenly becoming calm. She looked at him, and offered a warm smile. “Sorry. I don’t like to be so cruel… but desperate times call for desperate measures, right? I hope you can appreciate what you’re up against now.”  
“Uh… Uh-huh…” King Piccolo choked. What… What had just happened? Why was she so – calm?

He raised his hands to touch his antennae, flinching as the slightest touch sent a sharp spark of pain through them. What had she done to him! And what the hell was she doing now? Why was she so calm all of a sudden? She couldn’t go from being a maniacal sadist to a calm do-gooder in an instant! That wasn’t how it worked!   
“Look… I do want you to see your son.” Frikiza said. “Please don’t give me a reason to send you back to hell. Do you really want to waste your day of life?”  
“Shut up.” King Piccolo growled. “Stop acting so righteous – you enjoyed hurting me! You’re just like Frieza!”  
“No… I’m not.” Frikiza answered softly. King Piccolo frowned a little. She looked kind of… sad? Was that the word? Like she regretted what she had just done. “I’m sorry.” Frikiza uttered. She raised her hands to King Piccolo’s forehead and placed her fingers at the base of his antennae. He flinched, trying to pull his head away.  
“Hey! What are you doing!” He barked, but he was soon silenced as a feeling of warmth started to flow through his antennae. It was… soothing. King Piccolo stared at Frikiza in bewilderment. Was she healing him? No… not ‘healing’ as such… She’d pulled them pretty hard, so much that they were throbbing with pain, but the heat eased the throbbing, and the pain started to subside. It was… kind of nice. King Piccolo closed his eyes, relaxing as the intense white pain in his antennae reduced to a mild, bearable ache.  
“There.” Frikiza’s voice made him open his eyes again, and he saw her smiling at him. “Better?” She asked.  
“… Still hurts.” King Piccolo growled. Frikiza simply smirked.  
“Well, that’s what you get for misbehaving.” She said, and retreated back to the bed. “So, now that you can’t escape, do you want to trade –”  
“ _No_.” King Piccolo snarled. “Not now that you’ve been in it.”  
“Whatever.” Frikiza huffed, and pulled the bed covers over herself. “Goodnight.”

King Piccolo didn’t answer. He leaned back in his chair and rubbed his antennae. They did still hurt a little, but it was nothing he couldn’t handle. Why had she healed him…? How bizarre. She obviously a guilty conscience. Ha.   
_“Bleeding heart.”_ King Piccolo thought to himself with a smirk. He let out a sigh and stretched his legs, making himself comfortable. Alright, fine… So he wasn’t escaping tonight. No big deal. He would see Junior tomorrow, and get him to help. Junior had to help, it was the least he could do after failing to kill Goku. Little brat. King Piccolo turned his head into a comfortable position and relaxed, and started to drift off to sleep…  
“Can you stop staring at me?” Frikiza’s annoying voice woke him up again.  
“What?” King Piccolo grunted, and looked over at her. “I’m not staring at you.”  
“Piccolo – your eyes are wide open.” Frikiza replied flatly.  
“I always sleep with my eyes open.” King Piccolo growled.  
“Well you weren’t before.” Frikiza argued.   
“I was pretending to be asleep before.” King Piccolo said.  
“Well… can you sleep with your eyes closed?” Frikiza pleaded. “It’s creepy.”  
“No.” King Piccolo smirked. “I sleep with my eyes open, and if that unsettles you then it’s too bad.”  
“Stop being a jerk.” Frikiza hissed.   
“What’s the matter?” King Piccolo taunted. “I thought you could handle me?”  
“… Fine!” Frikiza huffed, and angrily turned her back to him. “Stare at me! I don’t care! What kind of freak sleeps with their eyes open anyway!”  
“The creepy kind.” King Piccolo replied mockingly, and chuckled to himself. Yes! Victory!

XXXXX

“Wow… That was intense.” Cell stated as he continued to watch King Piccolo and Frikiza. “Hey guys, do you think he’s really asleep? I bet he’s spying on her.”  
“Is that what you would do?” Frieza questioned, narrowing his eyes at Cell.  
“No. After her doing that?” Cell smirked. “There’s no way we’d sleep.”  
“You’re so vulgar, Cell…” Frieza commented.   
“Well, whatever. Do you think the show’s over?” Zarbon asked.  
“I hope not.” King Kold piped up, after arriving with Coola halfway through King Piccolo’s torture. “She’s the best looking girl I’ve seen in a long time.”  
“Yeah but she’s wasted on a namek.” Coola sniggered. “She should try sharing a hotel room with **me**.” 

Frieza’s face turned blue and he clasped his hands over his mouth in an attempt to stop himself throwing up. Cell noticed Frieza’s reaction and his eyes twinkled in delight, a sinister idea entering his mind. He looked at King Kold and Coola, and smirked.  
“So you guys would, huh?” Cell asked them.  
“Definitely!” Coola beamed.  
“Of course.” King Kold nodded. “I don’t know what it is, but she sort of reminds me of your mother, Boys.” A wide grin spread across his face. “She’s gorgeous! Actually, I’ve half a mind to make her my second wife –”  
“No!” Frieza yelped. “Please – please don’t do that!”  
“What? You want her for yourself?” Coola smirked. “Don’t be so selfish, Frieza. You already have Kuriza’s mother. Let me take this one, I’ll be sure to take good care of her in _every_ possible way –”  
“Stop it!” Frieza shrieked, throwing his tail across Coola’s mouth to silence him. “You don’t realise what you’re saying!” He turned to glare at Cell when he heard the android laughing. “Shut up…” Frieza hissed. 

As Cell continued to laugh at Frieza’s suffering the mutant nameks wandered by the giant orb, fretting over what they could tell King Piccolo.  
“You know what? Let’s just tell him the truth.” Tambourine said. “I know Frieza will kill us, but I don’t want to live forever with King Piccolo hating me – especially if it’s for something I didn’t even do!”  
“Yeah, I agree.” Cymbal nodded. “I mean – he’s bound to ask us what happened, right? And if we don’t tell him – well then he’s just gonna think we had something to do with it! I don’t want King Piccolo to think we betrayed him.”  
“I suppose you’re right…” Piano sighed. “I wouldn’t want that either.” He went silent for a moment, lost in thought, and smiled. “Still… it would be nice if he could at least become friends with Frikiza. Maybe she could calm him down a little.”  
“I hope they become more than friends.” Tambourine replied. “Frikiza would be a nice mom for us, don’t you guys think?”  
“Yeah… She’s so kind and pretty…” Cymbal nodded with a dreamy look in his eyes.  
“Hey… guys?” Drum interrupted his brothers. “Uh… they’re on TV.”  
“ _ **What**_!”

The mutants looked up and their eyes widened in horror when they saw King Piccolo and Frikiza’s images on the giant viewing orb, with a growing crowd of hell inhabitants surrounding it.  
“Oh… Oh my God!” Piano wailed. “He’s gonna flip – **hey**!” He raced over to Frieza. “What are you doing! You can’t put them on here!”  
“Oh, it’s okay. Bibidi and Babidi have this thing under a spell, so even if the guards come they can’t change the channel.” Cell said.  
“That isn’t what I’m worried about!” Piano screamed. “King Piccolo’s going to go crazy if he finds out you’ve all been watching him!”  
“Yeah – what if something does happen between them!” Tambourine gasped. “And – and we’re all watching? That’s so disrespectful! Where’s your sense of privacy!”  
“Hey!” Cymbal barked at the growing crowd. “All of you, get the hell out of here **now**!”  
“Bite me!” Nappa yelled back from the crowd.   
“Yeah, even if it’s just namek stuff, this is the most sex Nappa’s gonna see all year!” Raditz called and he and Bardock slapped each other a hi-five as they and everyone else in the crowd started laughing.  
“Shut up, jerk!” Nappa snarled at his comrade. Piano glared at Raditz.  
“And just what do you mean by ‘namek stuff’ ? Do you think we’re deformed or something?” He snapped. 

Suddenly the crowd stopped laughing, and they all stared at the mutants in confusion.  
“Well… you’re not ‘formed’ to begin with, are you?” Frieza questioned.  
“Huh?” Tambourine looked at him. “What do you mean?”  
“Well… uh…” Frieza began, slightly embarrassed as he tried to phrase his response as diplomatically as he could. “You don’t… you don’t have…”  
“You don’t have sex organs!” King Vegeta yelled. “Dammit Frieza, would you just get to the point already!”  
“I was trying not to be vulgar!” Frieza barked. “This is exactly why I destroyed your planet – you saiyans are disgusting!”  
“So’s your mom!” Bardock answered back.  
“Not if she looks like Frikiza…” Cell uttered.

The mutant nameks all stared at the crowd with wide eyes.  
“Wait… is that what everybody thinks!” Cymbal gasped.  
“Why would they think that!” Drum cried.  
“Is it because King Piccolo created us all by himself?” Tambourine questioned.  
“Well I heard you guys don’t have genders.” Jeice answered, and the rest of the Ginyu Force, along with the rest of the crowd all nodded in agreement.  
“Oh… No, no that’s not it at all!” Piano huffed. “We don’t have ‘genders’ the way you’re thinking – but we do have organs, you idiots! We’re hermaphrodites!”  
“Huh!” Everyone in the crowd gasped in surprise.  
“Wait – so you have both?” King Kold blinked.  
“Well, not that it’s any of your business!” Piano growled. “But… yes. If you must know, we do.”  
“So – does that mean you can have babies with each other?” Cell questioned.  
“I – I don’t know!” Piano answered, his face darkening in embarrassment. “It’s not like we’ve tried to do it – we didn’t even find out we were nameks until after we’d died! We thought we were Earth demons!” He let out a sigh. “But, I… I suppose we could fertilise each other, in theory… but it wouldn’t be a ‘baby’ like you’re thinking of – it would still be an egg… Anyway!” Piano glared at Cell. “That’s none of your business, is it? All you need to know is that King Piccolo is more than capable of doing ‘stuff’ just like any of you, and nobody should be watching!” He turned and looked at Bibidi and Babadi angrily. “Turn that thing off **now**!”

The crowd fell silent for a moment as they all processed the revelation, and then Recoome yelled over to the wizards,  
“Turn the volume up!”  
“Yeah!” Everybody cheered in agreement.   
“And zoom in!” Burter called, followed by more cheers.   
“No!” The mutants shrieked, leaping onto the orb in a desperate attempt to protect their master’s privacy.  
“Stop! We shouldn’t be watching this!” Tambourine wailed.  
“King Piccolo’s going to kill us!” Drum screamed.  
“Who the hell cares! Get out of the way!” Bardock yelled and threw a rock at the mutants, who were soon knocked down by the cascade of rocks that came flying at them from all directions, thrown by just about everyone in the crowd. Everyone cheered as the mutants fell to the ground, and Bibidi and Babadi turned up the volume on the orb and zoomed in.

XXXXX

Meanwhile on Earth King Piccolo and Frikiza were sleeping soundly, blissfully oblivious to the fact that they were being spied on by almost everybody in hell.   
“Oh, come on! Get to the action!” Toma yelled from hell, and threw a rock at the viewing orb.   
“Yeah, do something already!” Panbukin roared.  
“You guys are disgusting.” Celipa hissed, glaring at them.   
“Should we turn the orb off now, Oni?” One hell demon asked another as they both stared at the orb.  
“In a minute, Oni…” His colleague answered. “Let’s just see if they do anything first.”   
“Well you know what? I hope they don’t do anything.” Cell growled. “Frieza, you swore to me he couldn’t do anything because he’s a namek! You know how much I wanted to be the first to hook up with Frikiza!”  
“What are you blaming me for!” Frieza protested. “You’re made from Piccolo, how could you not know about his biology!”  
“That’s a stupid argument!” Cell snapped. “You’re made from King Kold but I bet you didn’t know about that stuff before you went to school!”  
“That’s not the same.” Frieza argued.  
“It totally is!” Cell yelled, and the rest of the crowd nodded in agreement.

Meanwhile the mutant nameks were being restrained by the Ginyu Force, and struggling against their grasp.   
“Please! Stop this!” Piano begged. “This isn’t right! How would you like it if we watched you!”  
“Watch away, I have nothing to be ashamed off.” Jeice replied. “Stop squirming, you’re going to hurt yourself.”   
“You know, once you get over his ugliness King Piccolo isn’t really that ugly.” Burter admitted.   
“Yeah, he has something about him…” King Vegeta’s wife Turnipa agreed, blushing. “But then again, I’m a sucker for kings.”  
“I guess his build isn’t too bad, if he puts a bag over his head.” Celipa shrugged. “His arms look strong.”  
“Oh, but he’s so tall… wouldn’t that be intimidating? Frikiza seems so gentle.” Gine said. “If I were her, I wouldn’t know what to do with him.”

XXXXX

Back in King Piccolo and Frikiza’s hotel room, King Piccolo was suddenly awoken by a sneezing fit.  
“Achoo! _Achoo_!” He took a breath and sneezed again, then blinked when his sneezing finally subsided. What the hell…? King Piccolo yawned and looked around. Strange… He felt like he was being watched. He looked over at Frikiza, expecting to see her eyes on him, but she still had her back to him and was sound asleep. What the hell…? There was nobody else here. King Piccolo’s eyes scanned the room, trying to pinpoint the reason why he felt so uneasy. He looked up towards the door, and his eyes suddenly rested on a round shiny object. A camera. It was filming the doorway. Still, King Piccolo shouldn’t be in its view… Oh well. King Piccolo raised his hand towards the camera, and formed a ki ball in his palm…

_**Boom**_! Frikiza was suddenly awoken by the sound of a miniature explosion.   
“What the hell –” She bolted upright and turned towards the sound, and her eyes widened when she saw a faint outline of smoke coming from above the bedroom door. “ **Piccolo**! What did you do now!” Frikiza yelled.  
“That girl at the reception desk was spying on us.” King Piccolo said. “I fixed it.”  
“You – you **what**!” Frikiza shrieked. “You destroyed the camera? Oh my God Piccolo, what is wrong with you! We’re going to get kicked out!”  
“Oh shut up you stupid girl, it was only a camera. They shouldn’t have one in this room anyway.” King Piccolo shrugged.  
“It’s for security, you idiot! What if we get robbed – or killed!” Frikiza yelled.  
“Ha! I’d like to see anyone try to rob or kill **me**.” King Piccolo arrogantly replied, smirking.  
“Oh my God… You’re unbearable…” Frikiza groaned and grabbed her horns. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath to calm herself, then sighed. “Okay… That does it.”

She suddenly threw her arms out at King Piccolo and he cried out when he felt four energy discs lock around his arms and legs.  
“Hey! What are you doing!” King Piccolo barked. He tried to move his limbs, but he soon realised that they were tied to the chair. What! She’d – she’d trapped him! “Let me go!” King Piccolo roared. He tried to pull himself away from the chair, and when that didn’t work he tried forcing his ki down onto it to shatter it, but Frikiza’s restrains seemed to protect the chair against his energy. Dammit! King Piccolo glared at Frikiza angrily, cursing wildly at her as she marched over to him. “You bitch!” He snarled. “Let me go! Let me – **hey**!” King Piccolo cried out when Frikiza ripped his shirt off him. “What the hell are you doing!” King Piccolo demanded. His cheeks started to darken. Wait – was she…? No… No, she couldn’t be! Why – why would she do that! King Piccolo struggled against his restrains, yelling at her at the top of his lungs, firing out his ki and demanding that she let him go, until her red vest suddenly caught his eye. The room was still dark, but he could see the outline. He could see enough… King Piccolo’s blush deepened and his lips went dry. Was she really going to…? Oh God… “F-Frikiza –” King Piccolo uttered hoarsely, and was immediately silenced by his own shirt.  
“Stop yelling. People are sleeping.” Frikiza scolded as she tied King Piccolo’s shirt around the back of his head. She’d rolled it up into a gag, and now he was glaring at her angrily as he bit down on the fabric.  
“Lff mf gg!” King Piccolo demanded, his voice muffled. He started to chew on the shirt to destroy his gag, but he was soon stopped by Frikiza firing another bolt of energy into the shirt. The energy fired back against King Piccolo every time he bit down onto it, causing him to become more enraged. “ _ **Dmmmt**_! Bftff!” King Piccolo attempted to yell, his ki flaring up so wildly it made the room glow. “Lff mf gg **nnw**!”  
“Shut up!” Frikiza hissed. “I don’t want to hear another peep out of you until morning – and if I do, you aren’t seeing Junior and we are going straight back to hell! Is that understood?” She waited for King Piccolo’s response, but he didn’t give one. In an attempt to get his revenge on her, he was following her commands down to the very last word, and stubbornly refusing to make a sound. Frikiza was annoyed, but she refused to let it show. “Good.” She said, forcing a smile. “Now go to sleep.” She made her way back over to the bed and climbed in, leaving King Piccolo to chew on his clothes until morning. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope this chapter was a good one n_n' I know people have mixed reviews about namekian biology - originally I was going to go with the classic 'strictly asexual' thing, but when I was doing some species research for this fic I discovered that most people seem to think they're hermaphrodites, because Toriyama once said that's how he viewed them... So anyway! That's the theory I've gone with. I hope it suits :) Please leave your comments.


	8. Piccolo Junior

It was morning, and the sun was shining so brightly it seeped through the pale curtains of the honeymoon suite, causing Frikiza to open her eyes. She yawned and stretched, her tail dangling out of the giant honeymooners’ bed. King Piccolo was already awake and he was glaring angrily at the limb, fantasising about ripping it off. Then killing Frikiza.

Frikiza frowned slightly, then smirked at the anger she could feel behind her. She turned around to see King Piccolo sat in his chair, not looking at all happy. He still had the gag in his mouth, and he was staring at her. He was definitely awake. He was looking directly at her; staring her down, trying to intimidate her. Frikiza simply smiled at him.   
“Good morning.” She beamed. “Sleep well?” He didn’t answer. Typical. “Do you want some breakfast? There’s still time.” Still no answer. Frikiza let out a sigh, then climbed out of bed. “Well then, I’m taking a shower.”  
“Whft!” King Piccolo snarled through his gag. She was taking a shower? And what, she was just going to leave him here like a stranded dog? How dare she!  
“Well, if you behave yourself I guess I could let you loose. Do you think I can trust you?” Frikiza questioned. King Piccolo simply glared at her, and Frikiza shrugged. “Fine.” She uttered, heading for the bathroom. “I’ll be as quick as I can –”  
“Whht!” King Piccolo’s muffled voice came from behind his gag. Dammit… He was **not** staying like this! It was humiliating!   
“What?” Frikiza asked, approaching him. She looked at King Piccolo, and narrowed her eyes at him sternly. “Are you going to be good?”

King Piccolo glared at her again. The little bitch… Who did she think she was? He wasn’t a child! She couldn’t just put him on a time out whenever she wanted to! If it was the last thing he ever did, King Piccolo would make sure Frikiza knew just who she was dealing with – “Well?” Frikiza pushed, folding her arms. “Can I trust you?”

King Piccolo blinked, trying not to notice the way her folded arms crushed her chest. He turned his head to the side, suddenly aware of the fact that he was still shirtless and she was still wearing… that. Dammit! Dammit dammit dammit! Why was she doing this? Was this some kind of game she was playing? Was she trying to make him feel like a fool? Was she trying to make him lose his self-control? Ha! No way. She may have a good body, but she was still just a stupid lizard. A stupid, ugly, bossy – “Piccolo!” Frikiza’s demanding voice forced King Piccolo to pay attention to her. “Answer me!”  
“ **Fnnn**!” King Piccolo snarled, now refusing to look at her more out of resentment than embarrassment.   
“Good.” Frikiza smiled. She dispersed the ki restrains on his arms and legs and untied his gag. “Better?”  
“Go to hell.” King Piccolo growled, still not looking at her. He rose to his feet and stretched, and his back gave a loud crack. That chair was so uncomfortable – why go to all this effort to build a honeymoon suite and then furnish it with an uncomfortable chair? It was ridiculous. This hotel was pathetic. 

King Piccolo pushed past Frikiza and grabbed the two litre bottle of water that was on the dressing table. He downed the entire bottle in one gulp, knowing full well that Frikiza had probably wanted to have some herself. Ha! Too bad. It served her right for being so unbearable. He could feel her eyes on him already. What, was she going to say something? Threaten to send him back to hell? Whatever. She could threaten him as much as she wanted, he wasn’t scared of her – and he was **not** following her commands! King Piccolo turned around and looked at Frikiza. “Problem?” He growled, wiping the water from his lips.   
“Um… no.” Frikiza uttered quietly as she stared back at him. King Piccolo frowned in confusion. Her cheeks were dark… Was she blushing? That was the second time she’d done that. “I’ll… go get a shower.” Frikiza quickly excused herself, and raced into the bathroom. King Piccolo stared after her, somewhat confused. What was wrong with her all of a sudden? Why wasn’t she trying to bark orders at him like a spoilt schoolgirl? … Well, whatever. King Piccolo threw himself down onto the bed and grabbed the hotel phone, dialling the number for room service.  
“Hello? I’m in the honeymoon suite – send me breakfast.” He ordered. “What? … Just give me everything on the menu – and a melon soda.”

XXXXX

“I can’t believe this… They spent the whole night sharing a room and nothing happened.” Frieza sighed in disappointment as he watched King Piccolo and Frikiza on his spy-screen. The screen time ran out, and as it disappeared Frieza downed the rest of his wine. He was annoyed. “He really is her type as well.” Frieza growled. “That’s typical of Frikiza. He’s her client so she won’t do anything even if she likes him – now do you boys see why she needs corrupting? She’s so well-behaved it’s sickening.”  
“You know, if something does happen between them she probably won’t be allowed to work in this universe anymore, Lord Frieza.” Zarbon pointed out. “Good. Even better.” Frieza replied.  
“Frieza… Even if he wasn’t her client, and they had all the time in the world to get together, do you really think anything would happen between them anyway?” Cell questioned.  
“Of course!” Frieza nodded. “That is, if she likes him…” He smirked. “Frikiza is me after all; she’s used to getting what she wants.”  
“Hm… Then I guess we just need to make them stay up there longer, right?” Cell uttered, seemingly thinking of something. Frieza looked at him and frowned.  
“What, Cell?” He demanded. Cell was up to something. He had that look about him... 

Frieza was right. Cell looked back at him and his eyes twinkled in delight as a mischievous smirk formed on the android’s lips.  
“Believe me, Frieza. You’re going to be glad the Juniors don’t know how to behave.” Cell grinned.  
“Huh?” Frieza blinked. Cell simply winked at him and wandered off towards the Cell Juniors’ bedroom.  
“Hey, Kids!” He called. “Who wants to start a riot!”

XXXXX

“Okay, so you’re just going to talk, right?” Frikiza said sternly as she and King Piccolo landed in the middle of the desert, far away from civilisation. “No fighting?”  
“Why did he ask to meet here?” King Piccolo demanded, angrily looking at his surroundings. “Doesn’t he trust me to be near people?”  
“I guess not. He does know you, after all.” Frikiza sighed.  
“Not well enough.” King Piccolo growled. “If he did he wouldn’t dare come near me, after what he’s done.”  
“What do you mean!” Frikiza protested. “He’s saved the Earth – he’s protected people! He’s –”   
“Failed.” King Piccolo glared down at her, his fists clenching. “Don’t get involved in this, Frikiza. This isn’t any of your business.”  
“Fine.” Frikiza replied, holding up her hands. “Just don’t try to kill him – because you’re the one that’s going to get hurt if you do.” She was smirking mockingly… Was this a joke to her? Would that be a fun sight for Frikiza? To see King Piccolo get beaten by his own son?   
“You’re a bitch.” King Piccolo snarled.  
“And you’re a jerk.” Frikiza pouted. “So I guess we’re a good match.”  
“Whatever.” King Piccolo grunted.

He looked around, trying to spot Junior. “Where the hell is he anyway?” King Piccolo demanded.  
“Give him time, we’re a little early.” Frikiza replied. “He’ll show. Don’t worry.” She looked up at King Piccolo, studying him. He seemed a little off right now. Not ‘nervous’, as such… Frikiza wasn’t sure how to describe it. He was uneasy, and certainly tense. Frikiza couldn’t blame him though. He was finally meeting his son after all this time… It had to be daunting. “Hey.” 

King Piccolo turned his head when he felt a warmth on his arm. He looked down to notice Frikiza had her hand on his arm and was smiling up at him warmly. “Whatever you’re feeling… it’s natural.” She said.  
“… Shut up.” King Piccolo growled, yanking his arm away. “I’m not feeling anything! I’m not some bleeding heart!”  
“Sounds about right.”

King Piccolo froze. That voice… He turned around, and for a moment his heart stopped. It was him. It was… Junior.  
“S-Son…” King Piccolo choked. The young namek standing in front of him raised his head and stared into King Piccolo’s eyes, completely calm. He wasn’t afraid… He wasn’t nervous. He wasn’t anything. He was just… there. Piccolo Junior didn’t take his gaze off King Piccolo. He didn’t move a muscle; he didn’t so much as blink as he stared at him, and then he forced a smile.  
“Hi, Dad.”

XXXXX

Back in hell, all four mutant namekians started screaming.  
“Oh my God, oh my God!” Piano gasped, shaking. “This is it! This is – **Junior**!” He yelled at his spy-screen. “You better not say anything to upset King Piccolo!”  
“Yeah – just say sorry for being a traitor and then get the hell away from him!” Tambourine snapped.  
“I swear if you so much as lay a finger on him – I’m gonna kill that Gohan kid!” Cymbal growled, hitting the spy-screen.  
“Go to hell, Junior! You’re a bad son!” Drum pouted and pulled a face at the spy-screen. “King Piccolo hates you!”  
“That’s right! And now he’s going to give you a piece of his mind!” Piano huffed, then grabbed the spy-screen and yelled into it, “Give him a piece of your mind, King Piccolo!”  
“Yeah! Kick his ass!” Tambourine cheered, and the mutants all grinned with enthusiasm as they watched the screen, eagerly awaiting the inevitable death of Piccolo Junior at the hands of their master.

XXXXX

Frikiza’s body tensed under the cold atmosphere that had suddenly emerged between them. She’d never felt more uncomfortable in her life. She moved her eyes between the two nameks; each one was staring at the other with such deadliness and such energy it was as if they were about to explode. She knew it wouldn’t be long before King Piccolo blew up. He seemed angry. Really angry…   
“Junior.” Frikiza uttered, attempting to ease the thick tension that was rising between the two of them. She smiled at the younger namek. “Thank you for meeting us.”  
“…” Piccolo Junior hesitated for a moment, then pulled his eyes off King Piccolo to look at Frikiza. “Thanks… for bringing him here.” He said, much to Frikiza and King Piccolo’s surprise. 

Piccolo Junior moved his eyes back to his father, and after a moment of staring at him, weighing him up and sensing his energy, he sighed. “Listen.” Junior began. “Father… I know you must be disappointed in me. I haven’t done what you wanted me to do – but there’s a good reason for that. Things have been… kind of complicated. Things have happened, that you or I could never have foreseen, but –”  
“Shut up.” King Piccolo cut him off before he could speak another word. He stared down at Junior, trying his best to contain the anger that burned inside him. He couldn’t believe it. This was his last child… This was his greatest creation. Everything King Piccolo had – _everything_ he was had gone into this child, and now… now he was standing here, without bowing, without greeting his master properly, trying to justify going against his father’s wishes – his _creator’s_ wishes… and all without so much as an apology? Was he kidding? Did he really expect King Piccolo to accept this! Did he know nothing about him – had he not paid attention to any of the knowledge and wisdom King Piccolo had given him? The little brat. King Piccolo was livid. His anger boiled so powerfully it actually hurt him. He felt like he was going to vomit; he’d never felt anything like this in his entire life! Such resentment, such disappointment… It was too much to contain. “Junior.” King Piccolo breathed in a coarse, feral voice. “You’re going to die.”  
“Piccolo, stop!”

Frikiza’s cry was useless against the anger that burned inside King Piccolo’s soul. He threw himself at his son, but he didn’t manage to land a single blow. Frikiza watched with wide eyes as King Piccolo attacked Junior with all the strength in his body. His eyes were burning with rage, his ki was flaring wildly, he was screaming at the top of his lungs, but it was all useless. He was no match for Piccolo Junior, and the younger namek avoided every single one of King Piccolo’s attacks.  
“Father – stop!” Piccolo Junior cried. “You know you can’t hurt me. This is only going to wear you down!”  
“Shut up!” King Piccolo roared, still trying to rip Junior apart. “You little brat! How dare you speak to me like that! I created you! I gave you my strength, my wisdom, my **life**! And this is how you repay me! **_Die_**!” He moved quicker than Junior had expected, taking Piccolo Junior by surprise as he managed to clasp his hands around the younger namek’s throat. King Piccolo started squeezing as tightly as he could, watching in gleeful satisfaction as Piccolo Junior started choking right before his eyes.  
“Piccolo!” Frikiza screamed. “Stop it! Let him go!”  
“Get away, Frikiza! This is nothing to do with you!” King Piccolo snarled.  
“Piccolo – let him go or I will **make** you.” Frikiza hissed.  
“Nn!” Piccolo Junior glared at Frikiza, warning her not to get involved. He stared up at his father, and closed his eyes.

King Piccolo cried out as a great surge of energy suddenly blasted through his hands, sending King Piccolo flying a few feet away. He didn’t even have time to compose himself before he was caught in mid-air, his arms being held up by Junior as the younger namek floated against King Piccolo’s back.  
“You little runt! Get off me!” King Piccolo barked, trying with all his might to break out of Piccolo Junior’s grasp.  
“Father, listen to me. I’m not your servant anymore, and Goku isn’t my enemy.” Piccolo Junior’s voice sent another wave of anger cascading through King Piccolo’s soul.  
“How can you say that!” King Piccolo roared. “Don’t you remember why you were created! To **kill** Goku! That was your purpose! And what do you do? You make friends with his kid! You stay in his house, you - - do you know what your brothers would give to be as gifted as you! I gave you **_everything_**!”  
“Right – and I’m grateful! Listen to me!” Junior demanded, struggling to avoid his father’s legs as the demon king kicked back against him wildly, cursing and thrusting away from Piccolo Junior. _“Damn, he’s persistent! Must be where I get it from.”_ Junior thought silently to himself, and looked down at his father. “You know about Gohan, right? So you must have been watching me and Goku since the day you died.”  
“ ** _Yes_**!” King Piccolo snarled. “Every single day!”  
“So you know what’s happened to me!” Junior protested. “I’m not a demon anymore! I’m a namek and so are you! I’m not your servant – and I’m sorry if that disappoints you but I’m not about to change just because you throw a tantrum.”  
“A – a **what**!” King Piccolo gasped. Oh, that brat! That _brat_! He was worse than Frikiza! “You’re a spoilt little runt!” King Piccolo screamed. “I gave you everything and you aren’t even the slightest bit grateful!”  
“ _Spoilt_!” Junior protested. “I grew up alone in the wilderness, how is that spoilt!”  
“You grew up alone because of Goku!” King Piccolo snarled.  
“I only exist because of Goku! If he hadn’t killed you, you wouldn’t have even created me in the first place!” Junior argued.  
“I might have.” King Piccolo growled.  
“Right – and what would I have looked like? I wouldn’t have had even half the strength or wisdom that I have now; if Goku hadn’t killed you then you would have just dumbed me down and made me into one of your mindless goons.”

XXXXX

“Mindless goons!” Piano gasped.   
“Hey, is he talking about us?” Tambourine growled.  
“Yeah, he is – go to hell, Junior!” Cymbal yelled at the spy-screen.  
“Yeah – I hope you meditate under a waterfall and drown!” Drum cried and hit the spy-screen.

XXXXX

“Face it, Father. The only reason you ‘gave me everything’ was because you knew you were dying, and you wanted me to finish what you started.” Piccolo Junior continued on. “And that way you’d have your empire. If you were still alive and well there’s no way you would have given me even a fraction of your power – why would you? It’d just make me harder to control. You would have only made me strong enough to fulfil my purpose, and then what? I find it hard to believe that you wouldn’t have just killed me yourself once you were through with me.”  
“How – how dare you!” King Piccolo gasped. “That’s not true at all! Why would I kill me own flesh and blood!” He turned his head to glare up at Junior. “I would have kept you alive for as long as your body would allow it!”  
“Yeah, okay.” Junior replied. “But you aren’t denying that my body probably wouldn’t look like this? And I wouldn’t be half as smart.”  
“… Whatever!” King Piccolo barked, refusing to acknowledge that Junior was right. If King Piccolo hadn’t been dying, he probably would have made Junior into a weakened minion… but still! “You had no right to defy me!” King Piccolo snapped. “And for that you will pay!”  
“Stop it.” Junior growled, strengthening his hold on King Piccolo as the older namek violently fought against him. “Settle down, I really don’t want to hurt you.”  
“Yeah? I don’t believe that!” King Piccolo snarled, and spat at Junior. Junior flinched as the spit hit his cheek, and he glared down at his father.  
“ _Don’t_ do that.” He growled. “I’m warning you. I don’t want to fight you, Father. We only have a few hours, and I don’t want to waste them sending you back to hell…” He narrowed his eyes at King Piccolo. “But if it comes down to it, don’t believe that I won’t.”  
“Oh yeah?” King Piccolo snorted. “Well then by all means Son, do it! Your friend Goku did it the first time round, so I suppose now it’s your turn! Because if you don’t then I promise you, from the bottom of my heart, that I will slaughter him, his wife, his children and his friends, and then I’ll come for **you** –”

_Thwack_. King Piccolo was silenced by Piccolo Junior’s hand smacking into his head, knocking him out cold.  
“… Sorry, Father.” Junior uttered. He looked down to see Frikiza on the ground staring up at them, and he let out a sigh. He moved down to the ground and set King Piccolo down, then looked at Frikiza. “Is he like that all the time?” Junior questioned.  
“Pretty much.” Frikiza answered. “He’s lucky you didn’t kill him. Most people would have.”  
“Well… he is my father.” Junior shrugged. “And his bark’s bigger than his bite.” He looked down at King Piccolo, and grunted. “Do me a favour. Take care of him until he goes home.”  
“Wait – we’re here until 2pm.” Frikiza said. “He’ll wake up before then… Should I tell him you don’t want to see him?”

Piccolo Junior hesitated, staring down at the demon king. It was his father… but it was someone he didn’t want to be. Not anymore. He didn’t want the life King Piccolo wanted. He didn’t want to do the things King Piccolo wanted him to do. Still… if Junior could change…  
“Frikiza.” Junior uttered, raising his eyes to the icejin. “When we spoke yesterday you said you’re his counsellor, right? How’s it going?”  
“Well… we haven’t been working together very long.” Frikiza said. “He still fights. All the time.” She looked at Junior, and smirked slightly. “But I know what you’re asking. I wouldn’t be doing this if I thought it was pointless.”  
“… I see.” Junior grunted. “Well… If he wakes up, tell him I’ll see him – so long as he behaves.”  
“I guess you won’t see him then.” Frikiza sighed. “But I’ll keep him out of trouble.”  
“Thanks.” Piccolo uttered. He turned to fly away, but before he could even take to the air a desperate voice came screaming across the wilderness.  
“ ** _Frikiza_**!” 

Frikiza and Piccolo Junior looked up to see Fortune-teller Baba racing towards them on her crystal ball. “There you are!” Baba gasped, looking at the icejin. “Listen – there’s trouble going on in hell, it isn’t safe for you to go back there yet.”  
“Trouble? What trouble?” Frikiza questioned.  
“Oh… It’s those runts Cell Juniors.” Baba growled. “They’re raising havoc in hell, and just about every baddie down there is joining in. Honestly, I think your rehabilitation classes are wasted on those hooligans.”   
“What?” Piccolo Junior looked at Baba. “How is that possible? Last time Frieza and Cell started making trouble down there Goku took care of them – can’t you just recruit a few warriors from Otherworld to calm things down?”  
“Yes of course, that’s exactly what we’re doing! Do you really think we hadn’t thought of that!” Baba barked, glaring at him. “But in the meantime Frikiza should stay here,” She looked at Frikiza. “They’re targeting your living co-workers. They all just went back to their home planets while we get the situation under control, but you can’t return to your universe, right?”  
“Right…” Frikiza uttered, not daring to think about what would happen to her if her mother and sister ever found her. They wouldn’t be happy… “Is everyone okay?” Frikiza asked, concerned for her colleagues.  
“Yes they’re fine – nobody got badly hurt, but it isn’t safe for any of you to be there right now.” Baba answered. “You can stay up here for another day – it should have all died down by then, but in the meantime…” Baba moved her eyes to the unconscious King Piccolo who was lying face down in the desert sand. “And… About him… you can keep him here with you if you don’t mind, or I can… take him…” She spoke the last part nervously, sceptically eyeing up the demon king. “Uh… he’s not going to wake up anytime soon, is he…?”  
“It’s okay. I’ll keep him with me.” Frikiza smiled. “Actually – this is great! Now we’ll have time to do my next idea! Baba – do you know Goku’s phone number?”  
“Wait – why are you asking for that!” Piccolo Junior gasped. “What the hell are you planning?”  
“Uh… sure.” Baba answered as Frikiza pulled out a capsule containing a cell phone.  
“It’s 055…”

Piccolo Junior watched as Frikiza started dialling Goku’s home number. What the hell was she doing? Why did she want to speak to Goku?  
“Hello, Chichi?” Frikiza greeted the voice on the other end of the phone. “My name is Frikiza, I’m a counsellor that’s trying to rehabilitate King Piccolo. … Uh… yeah, that’s him…”  
“Hm?” Piccolo Junior frowned. What was Chichi saying?   
“Well anyway… It turns out we’re free this afternoon, so I was wondering – as part of his therapy, would it be okay if myself and King Piccolo came to your house for dinner?”  
“ ** _What_**!” Piccolo Junior wailed, his eyes widening as he stared at Frikiza. “Are you insane! Did you hear what he just said? He wants to murder Goku and his entire family –” He was soon cut off by Chichi’s voice thundering through the phone at such a high volume it drowned Piccolo Junior out. 

Frikiza held the phone away from her face, flinching slightly as Chichi screamed and cursed at her from the other end of the line.   
“I – I know, Chichi!” Frikiza insisted. “I know you don’t like him – but if you do this I’ll give you a million zeni!” The phone went silent for a moment, and then another scream burst through it, this time a scream of joy.  
_“A million zeni! And all I have to do is cook for him?”_ Chichi exclaimed.  
“Yeah – and Piccolo Junior too, if that’s okay?” Frikiza replied.  
“What? Me!” Piccolo Junior cried. “Why do I have to get dragged into –”   
“Okay, great!” Frikiza beamed. “Thank you, Chichi – uh… sure. I’ll pay you upfront. See you later!” She hung up, and flashed Piccolo Junior a bright smile. “You’ll come to dinner with us, right? I think he might actually be less tempted to hurt them if you’re there.”  
“No he won’t!” Piccolo Junior screamed. “What the hell is wrong with you! The second we step into that house he’s going to try to slaughter Goku and his family – do you really think he’ll just sit quietly and have dinner with the guy that killed him?”  
“Well… probably not… but don’t worry. You already said his bark is worse than his bite, right? If he tries anything you and I can stop him – and Goku and his sons certainly can.” Frikiza smirked a little. “Maybe even Chichi, too.”  
“This is a bad idea.” Piccolo Junior growled.  
“So… does that mean you aren’t coming?” Frikiza uttered, looking at him in disappointment.  
“Of course I’m coming!” Piccolo Junior barked. “What choice do I have! He’s my father – I should be the one to put a leash on him, right?” He grabbed King Piccolo’s belt and lifted him up, throwing the older namek over his shoulder, then glared at Frikiza. “But I just want you to know, you’re playing with fire.”   
“That’s what your dad said.” Frikiza replied with a smirk. “Let’s go to the amusement park – if we let him go on Venom, he might not get so mad.”  
“What the hell is Venom?” Piccolo Junior frowned.  
“Oh… It’s just a ride your father likes.” Frikiza replied. She looked at Baba and smiled. “Thanks for warning me – I hope it all blows over soon.”  
“Uh-huh…” Baba uttered, wondering what on earth was wrong with Frikiza.

XXXXX

Frikiza approached the bench where King Piccolo was laid down on his stomach, with Piccolo Junior sitting next to him. She took a sip of one of the two chocolate milkshakes she was holding and took a seat on King Piccolo’s back.   
“Still unconscious, huh?” Frikiza mumbled. “How hard did you hit him?”  
“Hard enough.” Piccolo Junior growled. Frikiza looked at him, and giggled.  
“Are you still mad about what that guy said?” She questioned, referring to the amusement park staff member who had greeted them at the entrance and sold them their tickets. “You know he was talking about your dad.”   
“Yeah.” Junior grunted. “He thought he was a haunted house prop – and I look just like him!” He frowned when Frikiza started laughing. “It’s not funny!” Junior growled.  
“It is.” Frikiza smirked. The park greeter hadn’t realised that the unconscious King Piccolo was a living person. He’d thought he was a new prop for the amusement park’s haunted house, and that Piccolo Junior and Frikiza were staff members in costume. “He thought I looked weird too and I didn’t get upset about it.”   
“You strike me as the type that doesn’t get upset over much.” Junior answered, and looked at Frikiza. She was staring back at him with wide innocent eyes and a warm smile… it looked kind of familiar. “… You remind me of someone.” Junior uttered.  
“Gohan?” Frikiza smiled. “Your first friend.”  
“… Yeah.” Junior looked away. “Something like that.”  
“Well… maybe I can be your father’s first friend.” Frikiza said, and her eyes immediately widened and she gasped a little, as if she had suddenly caught herself saying something she shouldn’t have. “I – I mean in a professional sense. You know, platonic.”

Junior tuned his head to look at her again. Her cheeks were purple. Why had they suddenly changed colour?  
“Are you okay?” Junior asked.   
“Fine!” Frikiza almost shrieked. “I’m fine – you sure you don’t want one of these?” She offered, changing the subject. Junior glanced down at the milkshakes in her hands, and shook his head.  
“No thanks. I don’t drink that stuff.” He answered.  
“Neither did your father until he stole mine.” Frikiza replied, looking a little annoyed. “Oh… speak of the demon.” She looked down to see King Piccolo stirring beneath her.   
“Piccolo…? Are you awake?”

King Piccolo frowned when he heard Frikiza’s voice. Why was she still here…? She had no business getting between him and Junior… Wait. Junior! King Piccolo turned his head to look at his surroundings. What the hell? Why was he lying down? Why was he on a bench? Why was he at the amusement park? Where was – ? He looked up to see Piccolo Junior sitting next to him, staring down at him. What the hell…?  
“You!” King Piccolo roared, suddenly remembering the knock he had felt to the back of his head, and the blackness that had followed. “You knocked me out! You little – **hey**!” He cried out in anger when a weight stopped him from getting up. “What!” He turned his head and twisted his shoulders as much as he could to see Frikiza sitting on top of him, calmly sipping on a milkshake as she stared down at him. “Get off me!” King Piccolo demanded. “What the hell is going on! Tell me!”  
“I bought you a chocolate milkshake.” Frikiza answered. “But you can only have it when you sit up and behave. Understand?”  
“ ** _Get off me_**!” King Piccolo screamed, and started violently thrusting underneath her, trying desperately to shake her off. Dammit! She was less than half his weight, but she had more than twice his power. He couldn’t move her at all! “Get off me you stupid lizard!”  
“Do you want the milkshake?” Frikiza asked calmly.  
“ ** _Yes_**!” King Piccolo boomed. “What sort of stupid question is that! Of course I want the milkshake – but not as much as I want to crush you two together and bury you in the bottom of the ocean!”  
“Crushed together? That sounds fun.” Frikiza giggled. “But he’s a little young for me.”  
“Wh-What!” Junior gasped and stared at her with wide eyes, his cheeks slightly violet.

Frikiza looked down at King Piccolo.  
“I’m going to get off. If you sit up, and behave, and listen, and don’t go crazy when I tell you something, you can have this milkshake.”  
“What are you going to tell me?” King Piccolo growled.  
“You’ll have to find out.” Frikiza replied. “Agree to it first.”  
“… Fine.” King Piccolo sighed. Whatever. Anything to get her off his back – literally. It wasn’t like he had to keep his word. Did she really expect him to? He was King Piccolo!  
“Good.” 

Piccolo Junior watched in astonishment as Frikiza hopped off his father’s back, and King Piccolo moved to a sitting position on the bench. He sat up calmly and obediently, and took the milkshake from Frikiza’s hand like a dog earning a treat. It was… bizarre. “You promise not to over-react? I can trust you, right?” Frikiza said to King Piccolo. Yeah, right. Junior was reluctant to believe that he could be trusted. Even if she had managed to train King Piccolo in some way, there was no way he wasn’t going to over-react to this.  
“Mm.” King Piccolo grunted, sipping on his milkshake. “Just tell me already.”  
“Okay.” Frikiza nodded. “First of all, there’s some trouble in hell, and we’re staying here until it’s resolved – that means you might be alive until tomorrow morning.”

King Piccolo almost choked on his drink. Had he heard her right? He could be alive… until tomorrow? That was… That was wonderful! It was **perfect**! He had a whole extra day of life! A whole extra day to gather the dragonballs! Oh, great! Oh great oh great oh **great**! “Good news, right?” Frikiza beamed.  
“Yes!” King Piccolo exclaimed. “Who’s causing the trouble – is it my boys?” Oh, those wonderful little minions… King Piccolo knew there was a reason he kept that around! Such intelligent creatures; King Piccolo had no idea they could be so cunning! How _wonderful_ of them –  
“It wasn’t them.” Frikiza said. Oh… … Right. “They’re nice boys, they wouldn’t cause trouble like that.” Frikiza continued. Yeah, yeah… whatever. King Piccolo tried to hold in his annoyance. Why hadn’t the boys done it? Were his minions going soft? It was those rehabilitation classes – they were corrupting his children! Still… that didn’t matter. Whoever it was that was making trouble in hell, they had just bought King Piccolo an extra day of life. How wonderful! How perfect! He would get the dragonballs for sure now! Yes! Yes yes yes yes – “Anyway, the other thing is…” Frikiza interrupted King Piccolo’s internal cheering. “You’re having dinner with Goku.”  
“ ** _What_**!” 

Piccolo Junior just about managed to shield himself in time, before his father’s exploding ki could take out his eyes.


	9. The Son House

“Frikiza, this is the **last** time I am going to say this! Put – me – **_down_**!” King Piccolo’s voice thundered across the landscape as he screamed with all his might at Frikiza.  
“You’re so loud…” Frikiza sighed. She was standing next to Piccolo Junior only a few meters away from the Son house, with her tail tightly wrapped around King Piccolo, holding him in the air and rendering him unable to move his arms and legs. He thrust against her wildly in an attempt to break free, just as he had been doing for the entire journey, but his efforts were useless, and only served to make him even more angry.  
“You want me to get louder?” King Piccolo snarled.  
“I don’t think that’s possible.” Frikiza said, looking up at him.  
“Oh, why did you say that…?” Piccolo Junior groaned. He looked at Frikiza. “You know, this whole thing is a bad idea –”  
“Put me **_dowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwn_**!” King Piccolo roared so loudly his voice created a miniature earthquake that started at Piccolo Junior and Frikiza’s feet and travelled up to the Son house, causing it to shake wildly.  
“Hey!” Piccolo Junior appeared alongside his father and clasped his hand over the demon king’s mouth. “Cut that out, or guess what?” He pulled a water bottle out of his clothing and held it in front of King Piccolo’s face. “This will be your new home. Do you understand?”

King Piccolo yanked his head away from his son and glared at him.  
“You wouldn’t dare.” He hissed.  
“You want to find out?” Junior challenged.  
“You would do that? To your own father?” King Piccolo growled.  
“If I can do it to Kami then I can do it to you. Believe me.” Piccolo Junior replied, and tucked the water bottle away. “So you’d better start behaving.”  
“What are you guys talking about?” Frikiza questioned, listening to their conversation.  
“I’m talking about the evil containment wave – the attack that sealed this nuisance up for three hundred years.” Piccolo Junior answered.  
“Nuisance!” King Piccolo barked. “You haven’t even seen what a nuisance I can be, you little brat! And so what if you did seal me away? You’d screw it up, just like you did when you trapped Kami!”  
“What!” Piccolo Junior protested. “I did trap Kami!”  
“Yeah, for how long?” King Piccolo sneered. “You screwed up then and you’ll screw up now – you’re a failure!”  
“Well I’m your greatest creation, so if I’m a failure that must really hurt you!” Junior growled.  
“Oh my dear child, you can’t begin to imagine…” King Piccolo seethed, shooting Junior a nasty glare.   
“ **Hey**!”

Frikiza and the two nameks all looked at the sound of a woman’s voice, and saw an enraged Chichi marching towards them.  
“Who’s that?” King Piccolo demanded.  
“That is someone you are going to be polite to.” Piccolo Junior said flatly.  
“Oh – it’s Goku’s wife!” King Piccolo grinned. “Haha! Perfect! Frikiza, let me go.”  
“No way!” Frikiza frowned. “Not until you calm down.”   
“I won’t touch her, I promise.” King Piccolo insisted. He meant it. He wasn’t going to touch her. He was going to blow her to pieces without going anywhere near her.  
“I don’t believe you.” Frikiza replied, and tightened her grip on King Piccolo, causing him to cry out in pain.   
“You!” Chichi barked, glaring at Piccolo Junior. “I should have known – were you the cause of that earthquake just now, Piccolo? You nearly took down my entire house!”  
“Me!” Piccolo Junior protested. “I didn’t do anything – it was him!” He pointed up at King Piccolo, who glared at him angrily,  
“You little snitch!” King Piccolo snarled.

Chichi looked up and gasped loudly, her eyes widening.  
“Oh my God…” She whimpered. “That’s him! It’s King Piccolo!”   
“Aw, so you remember me? How touching.” King Piccolo smirked.  
“Shut up, you monster!” Chichi barked. “I spent my childhood having nightmares about you, and now I’m going to get even!” She rolled up her sleeves and took a fighting stance. “Come on!”  
“What!” Piccolo Junior gasped. “Chichi –”  
“Haha!” King Piccolo grinned, his eyes glowing in delight as he looked down at Chichi. “Well then Dear, come at me! Frikiza, let me go!”  
“No!” Frikiza huffed. She looked at Chichi. “Please – it’s not a good idea to make him angry, he’ll just be harder to deal with –”  
“I don’t care how hard he is to deal with!” Chichi snapped. “– Oh.” She stopped suddenly, remembering something, and looked at Frikiza. “By the way, do you have my money? I’m assuming you’re Frikiza?”   
“Yes, I am. Nice to meet you.” Frikiza smiled.   
“Yeah, you too.” Chichi replied hastily. “Okay then, hand it over! None of you are setting foot in my house until I get paid.” She demanded.  
“Okay – I have your money right here.” Frikiza said, holding up her hands in an attempt to calm Chichi down. _“She’s certainly blunt.”_ Frikiza thought to herself, and pulled out a capsule. She tossed it to Chichi and smiled. “You can check it if you want.”  
“Hmph. I will.” Chichi frowned. She took a moment to study Frikiza. Odd… Chichi had expected her to look more human. This girl… what was she? Was she an alien? She certainly didn’t look like she was from Earth…   
“So, are we okay to go then?” Frikiza smiled.  
“Hmph. Fine.” Chichi huffed, folding her arms. “This way.” She turned and started walking towards her house.  
“Hey!” King Piccolo barked. “Goku’s wife! Are you going to let me kill you or not?” He smirked. “To be honest, I’d prefer it if you put up a fight – especially if you did it in front of your husband. I’d just love to see the look on his face while he watched me rip you apart.”  
“Grrrr…” Chichi snarled, and glared up at him. “You –”  
“What!” King Piccolo grinned, struggling to break out of Frikiza’s tail. “Come on – **Frikiza**! Let go!” He roared.  
“No! Not until you learn to be polite!” Frikiza pouted.

King Piccolo gritted his teeth. Unbelievable… This was embarrassing! He was trapped inside a lizard’s tail! He had to get her to release him… How…? … Ah. King Piccolo smirked to himself. That would do… 

King Piccolo took a big breath, then he opened his mouth wide and started to form a ki ball between his jaws. “Oh no you don’t!” Frikiza scolded, and shoved the tip of her tail into the demon king’s mouth, blocking his attack. King Piccolo’s eyes twinkled in delight. Perfect… He smirked again, and sank his teeth deep into her flesh.  
“ ** _Aiiiiiiiiii_**!”

XXXXX

“Ow!” Frieza shrieked, grabbing his tail as he watched the scene on his spy-screen. “Oh – you bastard, Piccolo! That hurts!”  
“Hey look, she’s letting him go!” Cell gasped. “Is it really that painful?”  
“Yes!” Frieza snapped. “How about I bite your tail and we’ll see how much it hurts!”  
“Haha! Hey Frieza, didn’t you fall for that when you were fighting my kid?” Bardock grinned, coming up behind Frieza and Cell.  
“Shut up, Monkey!” Frieza snapped. “What are you even doing here – this is our spy-screen, go away and get your own!”  
“Well if it’s so private why don’t you just watch it in your cave?” Bardock argued, pointing out the fact that Frieza and Cell were watching Earth from outside their home.  
“No thanks. The Juniors missed out on their nap and now they’re running wild – Dodoria’s calming them down.” Cell answered. Bardock looked at him and frowned.  
“What? That’s ridiculous. You need to smack some discipline into those kids.” He scolded.  
“Forget it Bardock, I’ve already tried telling him that.” Frieza sighed.  
“Oh shut up, it’s not that easy!” Cell argued.  
“Yes Cell, it is.” Frieza and Bardock both uttered in perfect unison. 

XXXXX

“Hahaha!” King Piccolo laughed in triumph as Frikiza instinctively yanked her tail away from him, screaming in pain. It served her right, the little bitch! King Piccolo took off into the air and looked down at Chichi menacingly. With sinister eyes and wide, evil grin on his face he started to form a ki ball in his hand. “Bye-bye, Mrs. Brat –”  
“Oh no you don’t!” Piccolo Junior suddenly appeared behind his father and grabbed King Piccolo, trapping him in mid-air.  
“Hey!” King Piccolo barked. “Let go!”  
“Come on Dad, are we really going to do this again?” Piccolo Junior said.  
“I’m sorry, Junior…” Frikiza uttered apologetically, clutching her tail.  
“You see why I said this was a bad idea?” Piccolo Junior growled.   
“That monster is wild…” Chichi frowned, and yelled up at Piccolo Junior. “Piccolo! You’d better keep that thing under control when Gohan and Videl get here, I don’t want it scaring her!”  
“What!” Piccolo Junior cried. “You invited Gohan and Videl! Why did you do that?”  
“For your information they were already coming for dinner before Frikiza called me, and there is no way your father is going to stop me seeing my son!” Chichi yelled.  
“Couldn’t you rearrange it?” Junior protested, and held King Piccolo up in front of her. “Chichi, look at him. He’s already going crazy because he’s seen you, do you really think he needs to see Goku’s son as well?”  
“I don’t care!” Chichi barked. “What don’t you understand, Piccolo? I am **not** cancelling a visit from my son just because your psychopath father is coming to dinner! Now come on! I’ve left the stove on and dinner’s going to burn – just put a muzzle on that thing and get inside!” She stormed off towards the house.

Piccolo Junior stared after Chichi in horror, then looked down at Frikiza.  
“This is a bad idea.” He stated. “We have to call it off.”  
“Why?” Frikiza smiled. “Chichi’s the only one in any real danger, and it looks like she can handle herself pretty well. You don’t have anything to worry about.” She flew up to the nameks and hovered in front of King Piccolo. “And I hope you’ve realised by now – if you misbehave, you’re the one that’ll suffer. You don’t want to spend the rest of the day in that bottle, do you?”  
“Bite me.” King Piccolo growled.  
“Maybe I will, then we’ll be even.” Frikiza pouted, and flew off towards the house. Junior sighed and reluctantly followed, still holding the enraged King Piccolo in his arms.

XXXXX

_“You **bastard**_! You little brat! Come here you little punk! I’ll kill you! I’ll rip you to shreds! I’m going to blow up this whole house you vile little insect!”  
“Hi Goku… I guess you remember my father?”

Piccolo Junior sat at the dinner table, his face violet as he tried to stop the memories of entering the Son house playing over and over again in his mind. King Piccolo had taken one look at Goku, and before the saiyan could so much as open his mouth to speak King Piccolo had charged at him like a wild dog. Not that it had done him any favours. One move from Goku had knocked the demon king out cold, and now King Piccolo was sitting in between Piccolo Junior and Frikiza at the dinner table, unconscious, and gagged and tied to the chair with ki restraints.  
“This food is delicious, Chichi.” Frikiza smiled as she enjoyed her dinner.  
“Thanks…” Chichi uttered, looking cautiously at the unconscious King Piccolo. “Are you sure he isn’t dead?”  
“Positive. He’s still breathing.” Piccolo Junior answered bluntly.  
“Sorry Piccolo… I didn’t mean to knock him out with one hit.” Goku sweat dropped. “He’s a lot weaker than I remember.”  
“Technically, you’re a lot stronger.” Piccolo Junior replied. “But it’s fine. I didn’t think it was a good idea to bring him here anyway.” He shot a stern glance at Frikiza, and she just shrugged.  
“Well… I figured if he’d be able to at least sit through dinner with you Goku, it would help him deal with his anger issues.” Frikiza reasoned.  
“Well… technically, he will sit through dinner… he just might not know about it.” Goku laughed.  
“Hmph! Well I hope he doesn’t wake up.” Chichi stated. “He’s just like I remember him – too aggressive, too obnoxious and too loud. I can’t believe I ever let him in my house.”  
“Aw come on Mom, give him a chance.” Gohan replied. “You used to say that about Piccolo, and he turned out okay.”  
“Yeah, well… no offence Piccolo, but if you stopping coming over I wouldn’t miss you that much.” Chichi said.  
“None taken, Chichi…” Piccolo Junior mumbled bitterly.  
“Well… I think it’s nice that he’s trying to rehabilitate himself.” Videl smiled, and looked over at Frikiza. “How did you two meet anyway?”  
“Oh… through the program.” Frikiza answered. “I’m a counsellor in hell – my job is to turn bad people good, and hopefully they can get moved to heaven – or revived, in some cases.”  
“So do you turn bad people good, like the ones my dad and brother have fought?” Goten questioned. “Like Cell and Frieza?”  
“Well… I’d like to, but those two seem quite happy living together in hell.” Frikiza answered. “A part of me doesn’t want to ruin it for them – I actually think they’re good for each other. If I tried to change them, it might ruin things between them… I don’t want that.”  
“Uh… what?” Gohan uttered, looking at her in confusion. “So… are they a team now, or something?”  
“Oh! Right – I guess you guys wouldn’t know.” Frikiza answered. “They’re a couple.”  
“ ** _What_**!”

XXXXX

“Oh, great!” Frieza barked from in hell. “Thanks a lot, Frikiza! You totally just outed me!”  
“No Frieza, she really didn’t.” Raditz said from beside his father.  
“Yeah, _everybody_ knew you were gay.” Nappa nodded. Frieza looked at them.  
“Really?” He uttered. “I thought I hid it pretty well.”  
“You don’t hide anything well Frieza, we all knew you destroyed Planet Vegeta as well.” Raditz growled.  
“Well why didn’t you guys say anything?” Frieza questioned.  
“Because Vegeta said something and look what happened to him – you killed him!” Nappa protested.  
“Yes, that’s true…” Frieza admitted. “Well… Good for you boys for being smart.”  
“Thanks.” Raditz and Nappa grinned.  
“Hey.” Cell looked at Frieza. “Maybe we should go check on the kids.” He narrowed his eyes at Frieza, and spoke to him telepathically. _“Before Frikiza reveals anything else about you in front of the saiyans?”  
“Oh… Good thinking.”_ Frieza replied. “Alright fine, let’s go.” He picked up the spy-screen and batted the three saiyans away, and he and Cell flew off towards Frieza’s cave.

XXXXX

“Frieza… and Cell?” Goku choked. “Like… me and Chichi?”  
“Yeah.” Frikiza nodded. “Frieza’s bisexual – you didn’t know that?”  
“What’s bisexual?” Goten questioned.  
“It’s nothing, Sweetheart!” Chichi gasped, clasping her hands over Goten’s ears. She glared at Frikiza. “Do you mind not talking about that when we’re eating dinner!”  
“Sorry…” Frikiza mumbled. _“Wow, these people are kind of old-fashioned…”_ She looked at Goku and Chichi. “Well – if it helps, I don’t think Frieza and Cell are that serious anyway. Zarbon’s still involved.”  
“Zarbon!” Gohan choked. “You mean – the guy with the long hair?”  
“Does that mean Frieza has two boyfriends?” Goten asked.  
“ ** _Enough_**!” Chichi screamed across the table. “My son doesn’t need to hear about that freak’s personal life! Do I make myself clear!”  
“Crystal clear…” Frikiza sighed.  
“Yeah, Mom… Sorry.” Gohan mumbled. He looked at Frikiza and grinned, changing the subject. “So – now that I think about it, you kind of look like Frieza’s first form. Are you his sister or something?”  
“Well… sort of.” Frikiza answered. “I’m from an alternate universe where genders are inverted – actually, I’m Frieza.”  
“ ** _What_**!” Everyone cried out, staring at her with wide eyes.  
“Let me get this straight – now I have King Piccolo and _Frieza_ sitting at my table?” Chichi wailed.  
“Wait – I’m not like him!” Frikiza insisted. “I mean – I used to be, a long time ago. I was in the Planet Trade Organisation too…” She lowered her eyes, her cheeks darkening slightly. “But, well… I realised it was wrong, and I wasn’t happy with the life I was living… causing all that suffering and terror… it was horrible!” She looked up. “So now I’m different. I quit the Organisation, and released my slaves, and now I’m happy with my life.” She smiled slightly. “That’s why I started working as a counsellor in hell. I figured if I could change, then maybe I could help other people change too, and they could learn to become happy with their lives like I am.”  
“Aww… That’s nice.” Videl smiled.   
“Yeah… Good for you, Girl-Frieza.” Gohan beamed.  
_“This is insane.”_ Piccolo Junior thought to himself. 

At that moment King Piccolo started to stir.  
“Uh-oh… He’s waking up.” Gohan uttered.  
“Hold on Guys, leave this to me and Frikiza.” Piccolo Junior ordered, keeping his eyes fixed on his father.

King Piccolo frowned slightly as his vision came into focus. Where was he…? He saw Goku and Chichi staring at him. They were sitting down, with food in front of them… What…? King Piccolo looked down and noticed that he was once again tied to a chair. Dammit… Those **bastards**!  
“ **Hffffffff**!” King Piccolo snarled through his gag, desperately trying to break out of his restraints. “Lff mf gg!”  
“Piccolo, listen.” Frikiza began. “I’m going to release you, but you have to behave. If you don’t, you’re going in the bottle. Understand?” She waited for a response, but King Piccolo simply glared at her as coldly and as angrily as he could. “Good.” Frikiza smiled, and took away his ki restraints.

King Piccolo hissed at her, then turned to look at Goku. Goku… That little punk…  
“You bastard!” King Piccolo roared.  
“Hey!” Piccolo Junior barked. “What did she just say!”  
“I don’t care!” King Piccolo snarled, still glaring at Goku. “You killed me!”  
“Well you deserved it!” Goku argued. “You sent one of your minions to kill my best friend!”  
“What, that bald kid?” King Piccolo protested. “How can you hold that against me! **_Everyone's_** killed that guy!”  
“That doesn’t make it okay!” Goku barked.   
“You wanna talk about okay? I was king of the world! You took that from me and then you murdered me, and **that** is not okay!” King Piccolo screamed.   
“Yeah, right…” Goku mumbled. He let out a sigh, and closed his eyes for a moment. “… Listen.” Goku opened his eyes and looked at King Piccolo sincerely. “That throne wasn’t yours to begin with, so I’m not even going into that. … But I do owe you an apology. I’m sorry, King Piccolo.”

King Piccolo flinched in shock, as did everyone else at the table. They all stared at Goku with wide eyes, unable to believe what they had just heard.  
“Goku –” Piccolo Junior began.  
“Piccolo.” Goku looked at him sternly, and moved his eyes back to the demon king. “Listen – I’m not saying you didn’t deserve to die. Honestly I think you got what was coming to you, after what you did – to Krillin, and countless others… but… back when you and I fought I was young, and I let my emotions get the better of me. I killed you because I was angry, and I didn’t think you could change… but I never gave you the chance to try – and I didn’t realise that until today, when I met Frikiza. Now she’s here, it’s made me realise – she’s doing what I should have. She’s putting faith in you, Piccolo. I should have given you the chance to become a better person, just like your son did, and I should have helped you like Frikiza’s helping you now, but… I didn’t. So… for that I’m sorry.”

Everyone stared at Goku in awe, dumbstruck. After a long pause, Chichi finally managed to speak up.   
“G-Goku…” She choked weakly. King Piccolo stared at Goku in shock. What was he supposed to say to that? That little punk Goku, his murderer – his children’s murderer – had just apologised for killing him? What the hell!  
“Tch.” King Piccolo grunted. Whatever. He wasn’t accepting that. Did Goku think they could just shake hands and become friends, like he had with Junior? Tch. No way! King Piccolo would **never** become friends with Goku. “You were a bratty kid.” King Piccolo snarled. “And your children are brats too.”  
“Piccolo!” Frikiza scolded.  
“Hey!” Piccolo Junior glared at him. “Goku just apologised to you, and you didn’t at all deserve it! The least you can do is say something nice.”  
“I’m the Demon King Piccolo, I don’t say nice things!” King Piccolo snapped.  
“Then just shut up and eat!” Piccolo Junior ordered.  
“Fine.” King Piccolo pouted, and proceeded to shovel food into his mouth like a wild animal. 

Goku and his family watched King Piccolo eat in amazement, wondering how he wasn’t choking.  
“Oh my God… He eats worse than you, Goku!” Chichi exclaimed, staring at King Piccolo in disgust.   
“I thought nameks didn’t eat…?” Videl mumbled.  
“Yeah well apparently this one does.” Piccolo Junior replied, his face darkening in embarrassment. “Father!” He glared at King Piccolo. “Do you have to eat like that? You’re embarrassing me.”  
“Ohf!” King Piccolo spat, his cheeks bulging with food. He swallowed the contents of his mouth and glared at Piccolo Junior. “ _You’re_ embarrassed? Now you know how I’ve felt since the day you were born! Do you have any idea how humiliating it is to create a son to avenge you, and not only does he not do it, but he befriends the person that killed you!”  
“Oh, we’re on this again…” Piccolo Junior sighed.  
“Yeah! We are!” King Piccolo shoved another heap of food into his mouth and sneered at Piccolo Junior. “Sf tfrrr!”  
“Chew your food!” Piccolo Junior barked. King Piccolo smirked, and swallowed.  
“But son, if I chew my food, it might be on my tongue long enough to taste it.” He said.  
“Hey!” Chichi snapped. She stood up and slammed her hands down on the table. “What’s that supposed to mean! Have you got something to say about my cooking?”  
“No.” King Piccolo replied. “There’s nothing than can be said about this crap.”  
“How **dare** you!” Chichi roared.  
“Oh no…” Piccolo Junior groaned, burying his face in his hands in embarrassment. “Goku, I’m sorry about my father…”  
“It’s okay… I’m sorry about my wife.” Goku replied, watching as Chichi grabbed the demon king’s antennae and dug her nails into them, causing King Piccolo to howl in pain. 

King Piccolo smacked Chichi’s hands off him and pulled his head away, glaring at her.  
“You are **dead** –”  
“No she’s not. Sit down.” Frikiza placed a firm hand on King Piccolo’s shoulder, stopping him leaping up at Chichi.   
“Why are you taking her side! You’re supposed to be **my** supervisor!” King Piccolo argued.  
“You started it.” Frikiza shrugged. “If you get hurt, it’s your own fault.”  
“Grrr…” King Piccolo growled, and forcefully shrugged Frikiza’s hand off his shoulder. He shot her a fierce glare, then submitted into his food, eating in a calmer and more polite manner, albeit begrudgingly. 

Gohan started to laugh.  
“Wow, Piccolo! Your stepmom’s got a stronger hold on your dad than mine has!” He grinned. King Piccolo and Frikiza froze on the spot, and Frikiza started to blush slightly while King Piccolo turned his head towards Gohan with a cold, hard stare.  
“Stepmother…?” He repeated icily.  
“Well – okay, you’re not married.” Gohan said. “But… she’s still the closest thing Piccolo’s had to a mom, isn’t she?”  
“Yeah, actually… when I met Frikiza I was kind of surprised.” Goku nodded. “I never thought King Piccolo would have a girlfriend.”  
“Goku…” Piccolo Junior choked. “She’s not…”  
“If you ask me, Frikiza can do better.” Chichi sniped. “Even if she is Frieza…”  
“Um…” Frikiza uttered. “We’re –”  
“She’s not by girlfriend!” King Piccolo boomed, and glared at Frikiza. “You didn’t tell them that?”  
“Well I never said we were a couple! I just said I was your counsellor!” Frikiza protested.  
“Wait – you guys aren’t a couple?” Videl blinked.  
“ ** _No_**!” King Piccolo roared.  
“Is that because Frikiza only likes girls?” Goten questioned. Chichi uttered a low growl, and glared at Frikiza.  
“See what you’ve started!” She hissed.  
“Sorry.” Frikiza mumbled. She looked at Goten and smiled. “Well actually, I’m bisexual too –”  
“ **Hey**!” Chichi snapped, placing her hands over Goten’s ears. “He doesn’t need to know about your private life!”

Frikiza forced herself not to argue, and looked away.  
“Well anyway – my relationship with Piccolo is strictly professional. I would never date him.” She said.  
“Well I don’t blame you.” Chichi said, taking her hands off Goten’s ears. “I wouldn’t want him either.”  
“Oh – no, it’s nothing like that!” Frikiza gasped. “It’s not that I don’t think Piccolo is datable – actually he’s just my type. I like bad guys. Boys are just so interesting when they have an edge to them.” She blushed slightly and continued on, unaware of how tense King Piccolo was becoming and how violet his face was turning. “Honestly, when you get to know Piccolo he does have a sweet side to him, and I actually think he’s kind of handsome… not to mention the fact that I think being tall and muscular is a good quality in a man. He has a lot going for him…”

Piccolo Junior sat in his seat, not daring to move a muscle, with absolutely no idea of where he should look. He didn’t dare look at his father. He could feel the heat off the demon king’s cheeks touching him as if he were on fire. It was… awkward. King Piccolo just sat there in silence, his body frozen and his face purple. He couldn’t believe Frikiza was talking about him like that. Did she… did she like him?

XXXXX

“ ** _Yes_**!” As if in answer to his question King Piccolo’s mutant sons leapt up into the air in a group hug and started cheering wildly as they watched the scene on their spy-screen.  
“She likes him! She likes him!” Tambourine squealed.  
“This is so great! We’re gonna have a mom!” Cymbal cheered.  
“Oh Boys, just imagine it! Imagine how wonderful our life will be if she marries him…” Piano beamed. “He’ll be so relaxed – she’ll help him with his anger, she’ll make him talk to us nicer – she might even cook!”  
“And she’ll give us chocolate!” Drum grinned. “And we’ll all live happily ever after, like Cinderella!”  
“More like Beauty and the Beast!” Cymbal teased.  
“Cymbal!” Piano scolded. “How can you say that about King Piccolo!”  
“Yeah, but it’s true.” Tambourine giggled. Piano hesitated, then smirked a little.  
“Alright, maybe it is…” He admitted, and then a wide grin swept across his face. “And we’ll all be restored to our former happiness when he inevitably falls in love with her as well!”  
“Yeah!” His mutant siblings cheered, and they all continued celebrating.

XXXXX

Meanwhile on Earth, Frikiza’s face turned purple and her eyes widened when she realised what she had just said.  
“Oh – but I can’t date Piccolo! I’m his counsellor, I’d get fired if we dated!” She protested. “And plus – I’m just saying, he has a lot of good qualities – for somebody else! I – I’m not attracted to him, not in that way… I’m just saying, somebody else might be – and they’d be lucky – but… that’s not me.” She looked at King Piccolo nervously. “I… I don’t want to date you.”  
“ _Is she sure about that_?” Videl whispered to Gohan.  
“ _It doesn’t look like it_.” He whispered back. “ _And I don’t think it’s only one-way_ …”  
“ _I know, right? They have kind of an aura_.” Videl agreed.

King Piccolo’s namekian hearing picked up every word, and he began shaking with rage.  
“ ** _Listen_**!” He screamed at Gohan and Videl. “That ‘aura’ is anger – because I **hate** Frikiza and I hate this stupid rehabilitation program and I hate being told what to do by a girl version of Frieza! Do you understand? I am the Demon King Piccolo, and I do not answer to **anybody** , and especially not to a cute little lizard girl!”  
“What kind of lizard girl?” Goku smirked.  
“I meant that as an insult!” King Piccolo roared.  
“Sure you did.” Chichi smirked, folding her arms. “Well, isn’t this something? This is the last thing I expected to see today.”  
“Shut up, or I will tear this house apart!” King Piccolo snarled.  
“Okay! Violent threats, let’s get back to those.” Piccolo Junior nodded, grateful for the opportunity to take the subject away from his father and Frikiza. The whole idea of King Piccolo having a girlfriend made Junior so uncomfortable…  
“We’ll do no such thing!” King Piccolo barked. “I’m not listening to you either, Junior!”  
“What!” Piccolo Junior gasped. “But – you started it –”  
“Hey.” King Piccolo turned his gaze to Frikiza. “You booked another hotel for tonight, right?” He demanded.  
“Yeah, right!” Frikiza frowned. “There is no way I am even going to attempt to take you into another hotel, it’s a miracle the owner of that one didn’t kick you out already! I’m never going to find another person as patient as her – I rebooked that place for tonight.”  
“What!” King Piccolo cried. “But – you got a twin room, right?”  
“They still didn’t have any left.” Frikiza answered. “But it’s okay – you can take the bed, I’ll have the chair.”  
“What room are you in now?” Goku questioned.  
“Oh… well… there was a mix-up at the hotel…” Frikiza replied, blushing. “So, they had to put us in –”  
“In none of your business, that’s where!” King Piccolo snarled at Goku. “Frikiza! I did the stupid dinner, now let me leave before I take the roof off this place and kill the kid!”  
“You’re not strong enough to do that, Mister.” Goten replied honestly. King Piccolo’s eyes burned with rage as he stared at Goten.  
“You little –”  
“I think it is time we went.” Frikiza nodded, grabbing hold of King Piccolo’s cape. She looked at Chichi. “Thank for your dinner Chichi, it was lovely.”  
“You’re welcome…” Chichi uttered, and stared at King Piccolo in amazement. What the hell did Frikiza see in that monster?

XXXXX

After dinner was over, Frikiza and King Piccolo had a long and awkward flight back to their hotel. They’d said goodbye to Piccolo Junior at the Son house, and he’d gone in the opposite direction to them, towards the wilderness while they headed for the city… in silence. They daren’t speak to one another, still thinking over the topic of conversation. Frikiza glanced at King Piccolo every so often, trying to initiate a conversation, but she decided against it every time. She had something to say to him, but it was best to wait until they were in the hotel. In case he flipped again. 

King Piccolo’s cheeks were still slightly violet. He kept thinking about what she’d said at dinner. He didn’t get it… Did she like him? No… Why would she? He’d been nothing but horrible to her. Then again, she’d just admitted she was into that. Was that why she’d been blushing so much around him? Because she thought he was… attractive…? No! No way. King Piccolo scolded himself. Of course she didn’t like him – she already said she didn’t! And even if she did, so what? He didn’t like her. Frikiza could like him as much as she wanted, nothing was ever going to happen between them. She would die sad and alone, and liking someone that didn’t like her back. Ha! Take that, Frikiza!

They finally reached their destination, and King Piccolo followed Frikiza into the hotel room, and met her eyes when she finally turned to speak to him.  
“Do you want the bed?” Frikiza asked.  
“Hm? Oh… No, it’s fine.” King Piccolo smirked. “You take it. Your body is weaker than mine.”  
“Thanks, how thoughtful.” Frikiza hissed sarcastically, causing King Piccolo’s smirk to widen. How he loved upsetting her. “But we both know that isn’t true, don’t we?” Frikiza said, and immediately wiped the smirk off King Piccolo’s face.  
“Shut up.” He growled. Frikiza smiled a little and sat down on the bed, looking at him.  
“Hey.” She said. “… You did good today. You managed to have dinner and behave.”  
“No I didn’t!” King Piccolo argued. “I threatened them!”  
“Well… not as much as I expected.” Frikiza replied. “But… you could have accepted Goku’s apology.”  
“Tch! He didn’t mean it.” King Piccolo snorted. “He only said that to make himself look better than you – that guy has a hero complex.”  
“You think so too, huh?” Frikiza smirked. King Piccolo paused, taken aback. Did she… agree with him?   
“… And he didn’t apologise enough.” King Piccolo growled. “He didn’t just kill me. He killed my children – and he let his friend eat Cymbal’s body! He should apologise for that as well!”

Frikiza looked at him, and her face seemed to soften slightly. What the hell…? Why was she looking at him like that?  
“I knew I was right about you.” Frikiza smiled. “You do have a sweet side.”  
“What? No I don’t!” King Piccolo barked defensively. “What the hell are you talking about!” Stupid girl. She didn’t have a clue. She was delusional!  
“Well… you can prove me wrong,” Frikiza began, pulling a capsule out of her armour. “But if you do, then you can’t have this.”  
“And what’s that?” King Piccolo demanded. Frikiza tossed the capsule, causing it to spit out a bracelet. She picked it up and approached King Piccolo, then snapped it on around his wrist.  
“Your tag.” Frikiza answered. “I was going to give it you, depending on how today went… I’m not going to seal the door tonight. You’re free to come and go as you please, whenever you want.” Frikiza explained.   
“What…?” King Piccolo choked. Was she serious…? One lousy dinner and suddenly she was letting him loose? Wow… This was brilliant! Oh how he loved her stupidity. She was so blissfully trusting and naïve, how _wonderful_!  
“Don’t celebrate too much. It paralyses you after so many feet.” Frikiza said. “You won’t be able to leave the hotel.” … fuck. Why was there always a catch!  
“So what’s the point of it?” King Piccolo growled. “I might as well stay in here!”  
“Well… If you want you can go to the bar, or the gym.” Frikiza shrugged. “This is a nice hotel, you know. There’s lots you can do.”  
“Nothing that I want to do.” King Piccolo spat.  
“Well, the offer’s there. I’m not going to force you to use it.” Frikiza pouted. “I’m going to get changed.”  
“You mean you aren’t going to spend all night in the bath?” King Piccolo sniped.  
“Shut up.” Frikiza hissed, and went into the bathroom.

King Piccolo slumped down onto his chair and tapped his claws against the armrest in annoyance. Stupid bitch. He glared down at the bracelet. What was the point in this piece of crap? Why would he want to wander around the hotel? He wasn’t a lost child! And that Junior… How could he be friends with those people? And how could Goku’s wife have such a loud mouth on her? And how could Goku act all high and mighty when he’d killed King Piccolo and his entire family? They were bastards. All of them. King Piccolo clenched his fists, his claws scratching deep grooves into the wooden armrests. If only he was stronger… Once he gathered the dragonballs he would kill them all! “Ready. Bathroom’s all yours.” Frikiza’s annoying voice one again broke King Piccolo from his thoughts. “I’m going to bed – do you mind if we turn the light off?”

King Piccolo looked up, and his face darkened slightly when he noticed Frikiza was once again in her nightwear. Why did she wear that…? Really, why?  
“… Sure.” King Piccolo uttered. “Turn it off.” Gladly. He would _gladly_ turn out the lights. Anything to not look at… that. King Piccolo swallowed and licked his lips, noticing that his mouth was suddenly dry. Dammit… **Dammit**! _“Stop it!”_ He scolded himself.   
“Thanks.” Frikiza smiled. “Goodnight.”  
“Night.” King Piccolo grunted, and Frikiza flicked the light switch, turning the room into darkness.


	10. Getting Drunk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Lime Warning* So this chapter doesn't have a 'lemon' per se, but there is slightly mature content in the first scene. I've tried not to make it too explicit, but if that kind of thing makes you squeamish then I'd recommend not reading the first scene. And if you do read it, I hope I wrote it well. Either way, please leave your feedback. Thanks!

It was the middle of the night and the honeymoon suite was in darkness. Frikiza was fast asleep in her bed, while King Piccolo slept in his chair. He could hear her, even in his sleep. He could hear her breathing; he could sense her movements… That was how he knew she was getting out of bed. Frikiza didn’t make much noise, but it was enough to awaken King Piccolo. His eyes came into focus and he could see the outline of her figure in the darkness.  
“Frikiza…?” King Piccolo uttered sleepily.  
“Sorry, Piccolo.” Frikiza whispered. “Did I wake you?”  
“Yes.” King Piccolo growled.  
“Oh…” Frikiza answered. “… Good.”  
“Hm?”

King Piccolo looked up and frowned slightly in confusion when Frikiza started walking towards him, her tail swaying slowly behind her. What was she doing? Was she going to leave the room?  
“I couldn’t sleep.” Frikiza said quietly, stopping in front of King Piccolo. “I was… hoping you could tire me out.”  
“Uh… what?” King Piccolo choked. What the hell was she talking about!

A dark smirk formed on Frikiza’s lips, and it caused King Piccolo’s mouth to become dry. Oh God… why was she looking at him like that?  
“You understand, don’t you?” Frikiza purred, moving her body closer to the demon king.  
“H-Hey!” King Piccolo gasped as Frikiza climbed onto his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck, her tail still waving behind her slowly… seductively. Oh God… “Frikiza!” King Piccolo uttered. “What are you – hey!” His eyes widened when she once again ripped off his shirt, and placed her hand on his chest. King Piccolo held his breath as Frikiza ran her hand down his wide, thick chest, her nails tickling his skin as she caressed every firm muscle on his torso. “F-Frikiza…” King Piccolo stared at Frikiza in shock, and she met his eyes with another smirk. A wicked, mischievous smirk. Frikiza’s eyes twinkled flirtatiously and she brought the fabric of King Piccolo’s shirt to her mouth, her lips parting.  
“Now… I think it’s your turn to gag me, isn’t it?” Frikiza purred. “Or…” She leaned into him and placed her lips against his ear, her breath biting at his flesh as she uttered, “Do you want to hear me scream?”  
_“Oh, God…”_

King Piccolo’s entire body tensed and he shut his eyes as tight as he could. This wasn’t happening… This was insane! It was a dream, it had to be! Frikiza wouldn’t do this! She didn’t even like him! And even if she did she – she was too much of a do-gooder! She wouldn’t risk getting fired. This wasn’t real! This wasn’t – oh fuck… King Piccolo’s heart stopped when he felt Frikiza’s travelling hand slide over his stomach and under his belt. Oh God oh God oh God…  
“What’s the matter, King Piccolo?” Frikiza whispered against his ear, drawing a small moan from King Piccolo as her hand touched his most intimate organ. “Don’t you like me?”  
“N… No…” King Piccolo answered weakly. This was wrong. This was wrong! She shouldn’t be touching him there! She shouldn’t be… Oh fuck she was stroking him. King Piccolo tried his best to fight back a moan as Frikiza’s delicate little fingers wrapped themselves tightly around him. His eyes widened and he stared down at her as she leaned against him, her breasts crushing against his chest in that vest of hers. That tight vest that made them look so soft and bouncy and… No! No, he couldn’t… He had to stop this! He had to!  
“What about now?” Frikiza smirked, moving her lips to his neck. She opened her mouth a little, and trailed her tongue up King Piccolo’s neck, causing him to turn his head slightly in an attempt to get away from her… but it just gave her more flesh to taste. She slid her tongue up his warm skin until she reached his ear. Slowly… so slowly. King Piccolo held his breath, and let out a sharp sigh when Frikiza removed her lips from him. Okay… She was backing off. Good… Good. … Wait. Oh God…

King Piccolo gasped a little as Frikiza placed her lips against him again, and softly bit the nape of his neck. She bit him so softly, so warmly… Oh _God_. “Do you like me now?” Frikiza whispered.  
“Ohhhhh I’m starting to.” King Piccolo groaned, all too aware of how good that bite had felt, and how warm her tongue was, and how soft her breasts were against his chest. Dammit they felt just like he had imagined. So squishy and bouncy… And her hand! God, she had a grip on her… but no! No, they shouldn’t be doing this! They shouldn’t –  
“I’m so happy to hear that, King Piccolo.” Frikiza uttered. “Because I like bad boys… and you _are_ the baddest boy I’ve ever met.” She kissed his neck, then her free hand started to trail up his back. What was she going to do…? “So I hope you won’t be gentle with me, Sire.”  
“S-Sire…?” King Piccolo repeated hoarsely.  
“Mm…” Frikiza moaned against his ear and drew her face away from King Piccolo to shoot him a flirtatious glance. “I’m here to serve you, Master.”  
“M-Mas…” King Piccolo almost whimpered as he stared into Frikiza’s eyes. Oh God… She wasn’t doing this… 

Frikiza’s hand settled itself behind King Piccolo’s neck, and just as it did so her other hand removed itself from around King Piccolo’s organ and travelled up his body, firmly stroking his muscles until it finally reached its partner. Frikiza sat in King Piccolo’s lap, her arms locked around his neck, staring at him with a wicked look in her eyes and her lips still formed into a naughty, mischievous smirk. King Piccolo held back a gasp as Frikiza shifted her weight to push her butt down onto his lap. He could feel the fabric of her shorts against him. Those tiny little shorts that made it look so round and firm… Oh God!

Frikiza parted her lips just enough to allow her tongue to run itself along her teeth, watching as King Piccolo’s eyes followed its movement. Oh God it looked so inviting… and her teeth looked like they could bite so well… and her lips looked so tasty… Dammit! Why was she doing this to him? He wanted to touch her… He wanted to… –  
“Oh, _Sire_ …” Frikiza breathed, almost making King Piccolo’s jaw drop. Why did she sound so sexy when she said that…? Why… “Let me pleasure you… my master.”  
“Holy hell…” King Piccolo groaned and closed his eyes as Frikiza’s lips drew nearer to him. Was she going to kiss him? Oh please… please let her kiss him! King Piccolo practically begged her to. All he wanted her to do right now was put those delicious lips of hers against his – oh, fuck. No… No, this was better…

King Piccolo couldn’t hold back a long, low moan as he felt the warmth of Frikiza’s tongue travelling up his left antennae. Oh God… He had no idea his antennae could be touched in a good way! Why hadn’t he thought of that! “F-Frikiza!” King Piccolo breathed, slamming his hands onto her hips. He dug his nails into her flesh, roughly caressing her lower back in encouragement as her gorgeous lips closed themselves around the tip of his antennae. Her tongue lapped at it, and caressed it, and her lips squeezed it… Oh, this was bliss! King Piccolo breathed heavily and moved his hands down to Frikiza’s butt. He grabbed her flesh forcefully and greedily as she moved her lips down to the base of her antennae. He felt her slowly pull away, but she still held her lips against his forehead. Was she going to do the other one? Oh God, do the other one… King Piccolo almost screamed it. Please… do the other one. He grabbed the flesh of Frikiza’s thighs and raised his hips up to rub himself against her, all the while silently begging her to move onto his right antennae. Please… please… Frikiza… Oh God yes! Yes! “Mmmm…” King Piccolo’s own groan rung through his ears, forcing his eyes to snap open… and Frikiza was nowhere to be found.

He blinked in confusion as he stared at the view in front of him. He was still in the hotel room… He was in his chair, facing Frikiza’s bed… and the shape of her body was still buried beneath the sheets. What the hell…? King Piccolo touched his antennae. They were cold and dry. He looked down at his chest; he was still wearing his clothes. What the? … Oh, fuck! It had been a dream. _“Dammit!”_ King Piccolo silently roared to himself.

Of course. Of course it had been a dream. Frikiza would never do that! And – and he wouldn’t let her! No way! No way at all! That hadn’t been a dream, it had been a nightmare! King Piccolo’s fists clenched as he became angry; angry that he could ever have such a dream, and about Frikiza of all people! It was those idiots – Goku and his family – it was all that stuff they’d said that had made him have such a disgusting dream. Those bastards. They would pay. There was no way he was **ever** going to have a dream like that again!

King Piccolo let out an angry sigh, and leaned his head back. He drove the image of Frikiza out of his mind and forced himself to relax, and within a few minutes he started to drift off to sleep again…  
“Oh, _Sire_ …”  
“Shit!” King Piccolo almost screamed as another vivid dream startled him into wakefulness. He looked up at the sound of Frikiza stirring in bed.  
“Mm… Piccolo… what’s wrong…?” She mumbled sleepily.  
“N-Nothing.” King Piccolo panted. Dammit… His heart was racing! He had to get out of here – before she got out of bed! “I’m – I’m going out.” King Piccolo said.  
“Okay. Have fun…” Frikiza uttered, and went back to sleep. King Piccolo swallowed, then grabbed the key off the bedside table and raced out of the room.

XXXXX

“Dammit dammit **dammit**!” King Piccolo muttered angrily as he left the elevator, arriving in the hotel lobby. Damn those dreams! Damn Frikiza! Damn this whole place! What was the point in being alive? Nothing had gone right so far – **nothing**! And he still hadn’t gathered all seven dragonballs. King Piccolo let out a sigh and stopped for a moment, calming himself. Alright… He was alone. He could leave the room, he could go wherever he wanted. Frikiza wasn’t here now, in those little shorts… _**No**_! He had to stop thinking about her in that way; it was disgusting! King Piccolo looked up to see the hotel’s glass entrance in front of him, and the image of the outside world. Somewhere out there were another five dragonballs, and they were his. His and his alone, and he was going to find them. … Now. He was going to find them right now! 

King Piccolo marched over to the hotel entrance and grabbed hold of the door.  
_“Alright Frikiza, you little bitch.”_ He thought to himself spitefully. _“Try and get in my way now!”_ King Piccolo opened the door and stepped outside the hotel… Then a giant shockwave burst through his body and left him paralysed on the ground. _**“Dammit!”**_  
“Sir! Are you alright?” Oh great… King Piccolo frowned in annoyance when the hotel security guard came rushing to his aid. This was humiliating. “Sir – let me help you –”  
“I don’t need help!” King Piccolo roared, shoving the man away as he pulled King Piccolo to his feet. The paralysis only lasted for a few seconds. Maybe King Piccolo could work with that. He shot the security guard a deadly glare. “Leave me be.” He snarled. He took another step outside the hotel, and immediately fell to the ground again.  
“Sir!” The guard gasped. “Please, let me dial an ambulance.”  
“I don’t need an ambulance!” King Piccolo snapped. “It’s not my health, it’s my bracelet –” His entire body became flooded with rage when he fell to the ground again after taking another step outside. Dammit… He couldn’t go on like this! And the paralysis lasted a little longer every time he fell… That bitch Frikiza! What, had she made it so that he would eventually be immobilised for hours, just on the off-chance that he decided to endure collapsing every time he took a step? Did she think he had no shame? That **bitch**!  
“Well… at least let me escort you back to your room –”  
“No!” King Piccolo barked. “Anywhere but there!” He climbed to his feet and glared down at the security guard. “I don’t want to go to my room!”  
“Well… where do you want to go?” The security guard questioned. “It’s past midnight. The only place that’s open is the bar.”  
“Fine! I’ll go there.” King Piccolo growled. The guard looked at him cautiously.  
“Are you sure…? I don’t think you should be drinking –”  
“I don’t care what you think!” King Piccolo snarled. The insolent bastard! King Piccolo was going to drink the entire bar now, just to spite him. “Which way is it!” He demanded.  
“That way…” The guard mumbled, pointing. “I’ll take you –”  
“No! I can find it on my own you worthless piece of shit!” King Piccolo barked, and stormed off towards the hotel bar. 

XXXXX

The bar was completely empty. It was a nice enough place… just not popular. The barman looked up when King Piccolo entered, and smiled.  
“Evening, Sir. You’re our late.” He commented.  
“Nobody’s here.” King Piccolo growled, taking a seat at the bar. “Are the drinks bad?”  
“No… but it’s 1am on a Wednesday. I was about to close.” The barman answered. “Actually, you’ve done me a favour. The longer I work, the more I’ll get paid. I’m saving up to go on vacation with my girlfriend –”  
“I couldn’t care less about your girlfriend.” King Piccolo grunted, and glared at the barman. “Give me a drink.”  
“Uh… sure.” The barman replied. “What can I get you?”  
“Melon soda.” King Piccolo ordered.  
“Okay… just melon soda?” The barman looked at him. “No alcohol?”  
“… Yeah.” King Piccolo answered. “Alcohol.” Why not? Maybe he could do with a harder drink… anything to get that imagine of Frikiza out of his head. _“King Piccolo…”_ He shuddered as her voice echoed through his mind again.  
“What kind of alcohol?” The barman questioned.  
“Anything!” King Piccolo barked. “Just give me a melon soda with alcohol!”  
“Okay!” The barman protested, holding up his hands. “Are you staying in the hotel?”  
“Yes.” King Piccolo answered through gritted teeth. What the hell was wrong with this guy? Why wasn’t he just doing what he was told! “Why?”  
“Should I charge it to your room?” The barman offered.  
“Yes.” King Piccolo replied, and tossed his room key onto the bar. “This one.”

The barman took one look at his room key, and his eyes widened.  
“You’re… in the honeymoon suite?” He gasped.  
“Yes.” King Piccolo answered, glaring at the man. “And?”  
“Well… shouldn’t you be, you know… with your wife?”  
“ **She’s not my wife**!” King Piccolo roared so loudly it made the glassware tremble. “I have absolutely no interest in her whatsoever and we’re only in that room because your incompetent hotel staff fucked up, now _**get me my drink**_!”  
“Hey!” The barman frowned. “Watch your tone –” A cold, deadly glare and a low animalistic growl from King Piccolo soon silenced him, and he held up his hands. “I’ll get you your drink.”  
“Thank you.” King Piccolo hissed.

The barman went away for a brief moment, and returned with King Piccolo’s beverage.  
“Here.” He said. “One melon soda with vodka –” He stared at King Piccolo with wide eyes as the demon king downed the whole drink in five seconds flat.  
“Another.” King Piccolo ordered. Hm… actually, that hadn’t tasted bad. What was that alcohol called? Vodka? … He liked vodka.  
“Okay…” The barman sweat dropped. He went away again, and brought another drink. “Here –” And in another five seconds it was gone.  
“Another.” King Piccolo repeated. This wasn’t working… He could still picture Frikiza… Dammit! “Make it stronger.” King Piccolo demanded.  
“You’re the boss.”

XXXXX

It was ten double vodka with melon sodas later, and King Piccolo was starting to forget his dream. He tried to picture it but he couldn’t… He couldn’t focus on it. Frikiza’s image came into his mind… and disappeared right away. Perfect! This stuff was working…  
“I like vodka.” King Piccolo stated.  
“You sure do.” The barman laughed. “But listen – take it easy. How about we hold it on this one?” He handed King Piccolo a pint of water, and looked at him. “Deal?”  
“… Ha!” King Piccolo exclaimed, snatching the water. “You think I’m drunk?”  
“No. But I think you’re gonna be, if you don’t drink that.” The barman replied.  
“Tch. Whatever.” King Piccolo downed the pint of water, and belched loudly, then looked at the barman. “It’s served its purpose anyway.”  
“And what purpose is that?” The barman questioned.  
“… … None of your business!” King Piccolo snapped. This guy was nosy. Little punk. Who was he anyway? Just some kid. King Piccolo looked the man up and down, weighing him up. He was what… twenty? Twenty one? A child. “What are you doing with a girlfriend?” King Piccolo snorted. “You want children?”  
“Well… eventually.” The barman shrugged. “In a couple of years. I want to get married first.”  
“Ha! Married.” King Piccolo sneered. “A sap’s sport. For bleeding hearts.”  
“Well you’re the one in the honeymoon suite.” The barman replied cockily.  
“I told you – she’s not my wife!” King Piccolo yelled. “She’s just a bitch with too much to say for herself – not get me another drink!”  
“Sounds like a wife to me.” The barman smirked, turning to get his bottle of vodka.

King Piccolo relaxed a little, and sniggered. Actually that wasn’t bad… a wife – a bitch with too much to say for herself. Haha. Hahaha!  
“So why do you want one?” King Piccolo asked, still smirking from the barman’s remark.  
“I love my girlfriend.” The barman answered. “And I want to be married when I have children. Here.” He handed King Piccolo another double vodka with melon soda.  
“Idiot. You don’t need to be married for that.” King Piccolo scoffed, and downed his drink.  
“You got kids?” The barman asked.  
“Yes.” King Piccolo nodded.  
“How many?”  
“…” King Piccolo thought for a moment. God, how many…? Back when he was terrorising the world he must have had thousands… but they were gone now. He hadn’t even named them. He’d only named the four that resided with him in hell… and Junior… “Five.” King Piccolo answered. “But my youngest is a disappointment.”  
“Why? He drop out of school?” The barman questioned.  
“He failed his mission.” King Piccolo stated.  
“… What, is he an astronaut or something?”  
“Hahahaha!”

King Piccolo burst out laughing. An astronaut! Junior? That was ridiculous! Junior could barely drive a car, how was he going to fly a spaceship? Ha! This kid was hilarious!  
“Something I said?” The barman laughed.  
“You! What is your name, Boy?” King Piccolo demanded.  
“Alex.” The barman replied. “And yours?”  
“King Piccolo.” King Piccolo smirked. “Your parents may have told you about me.”  
“… Nope.” Alex uttered, trying to think of the name. King Piccolo frowned, his fists clenching in anger. Bastards… had the world forgotten him already? Well, it wouldn’t be for long… When he got all seven dragonballs the entire world would tremble at the name of the Demon King Piccolo! “You from around here?” Alex asked.  
“… I’m from Namek.” King Piccolo answered. “But I grew up on Earth.”  
“Right…” Alex sweat dropped. “… Another water?”

King Piccolo trailed his eyes across the range of drinks on the back bar, and a large black bottle caught his attention. It was simply labelled ‘Demon Juice’ and it had a sinister picture on it… Perfect!  
“Give me that one!” King Piccolo ordered, pointing at the drink.  
“Hm?” Alex turned to follow King Piccolo’s finger. “Oh – no, no way. That stuff is lethal. Believe me, one shot of that and you’ll be unconscious. I’ll get you another vodka –”  
“No!” King Piccolo barked. “I want that one!”  
“Look – Piccolo –”  
“That’s _**King**_ Piccolo!” King Piccolo boomed, glaring at the young man angrily. Had he no respect!  
“King Piccolo – I can’t give you that. If I do we’ll both regret it.” Alex reasoned. “Trust me, it’s not for beginners!”  
“I’m not a beginner!” King Piccolo barked. “I’m over three hundred years old and I’m a demon king! That drink was **made** for me!”  
“You’re a what?” Alex blinked.  
“ ** _Give me that drink_**!” King Piccolo screamed. “Or else I will rip your head off and get it myself!”  
“Whoa – easy!” Alex frowned. “You think that kind of attitude is going to make me serve you? I’m trying to do you a favour – your girlfriend is _not_ going to be happy with me if I send you back to your room after that –”  
“She’s not my girlfriend!” King Piccolo roared. “She’s my counsellor! I have **no** interest in her at all!”  
“Your… counsellor?” Alex stared at him. _“Is this guy insane?”_ He looked King Piccolo up and down, studying him. “… Tell you what. I’ll give you one shot. Sound good?”  
“Fine.” King Piccolo snarled.

Alex poured King Piccolo a shot of the Demon Juice, and placed it in front of him.  
“Careful –” He didn’t get the chance to speak another word before King Piccolo downed the shot.  
“Another.” He demanded.  
“You… don’t feel sick?” Alex gasped, staring at King Piccolo in disbelief.  
“No. I’m fine.” King Piccolo frowned. Tch. It would take more than a tiny drink to harm him! He wasn’t a weakling!  
“… That’s cool.” Alex grinned. “I’m never seen anyone handle that before! Doesn’t it burn your tongue?”  
“Mm.” King Piccolo shrugged. It was a little on the warm side… there were definitely chillies in there… but whatever! The Demon King Piccolo could handle a couple of chillies!  
“Okay. One more.” Alex said. He placed another shot in front of King Piccolo, and watched as the demon king downed it again.  
“Another.” King Piccolo demanded.  
“Are… Are you sure…?” Alex sweat dropped. “You know… it might take a few minutes to kick in –”  
“I’m fine!” King Piccolo insisted. “Give me another!”  
“Okay.” Alex shrugged. “Sure.”

XXXXX

_“King Piccolo…? Hey. You okay? Still with me?”_ The distant voice of Alex called out to him from somewhere in the universe as King Piccolo sat on his bar stood, trying his best to stop himself falling. Oh, he felt dizzy… All of a sudden, out of nowhere he’d just started feeling so… out of it. He was fine before… It was that last one. That sixth shot of Demon Juice – it must have been contaminated with something. Now… now his head was spinning… Ahhhhh but he wasn’t thinking about Frikiza. Nope. Nope nope nope! Not Frikiza… “Hey.”

King Piccolo suddenly came into focus, and noticed Alex was looking at him with a worried expression on his face. “You okay?” He asked.  
“… She’s not my girlfriend.” King Piccolo uttered. “I don’t…” He blinked, trying to focus. Fuck… He needed to lie down… He leaned on the bar with his head against its top and closed his eyes, smiling in contentment as balancing became easier. “I don’t… like her…” King Piccolo mumbled.  
“Hey!” Alex gasped, shaking King Piccolo’s shoulders. “Buddy – you can’t sleep here!”  
“Mm!” King Piccolo grunted in annoyance, shrugging Alex off him. “Go ‘way!”  
“No – if my boss catches you sleeping I’m totally gonna get fired!”  
“Hahahaha!” King Piccolo started laughing. “Too bad!”  
“Shut up!” Alex snapped. “Come on! Wake up!” He shook King Piccolo’s shoulders again, but it was a few seconds before the demon king responded. 

King Piccolo frowned, and looked up at Alex. What…? Had he… had he been asleep just now…? Yeah… He’d been asleep, but Frikiza… she wasn’t there… haha! Yes!  
“I didn’t dream.” King Piccolo uttered. “I didn’t dream about…” He placed his palms on the bar and used all the strength in his body to push himself up into a sitting position. “About… her.”  
“Who?” Alex frowned.  
“Frikiza!” King Piccolo exclaimed. “Frikiza…” He buried his face in his hands and rubbed his antennae. Oh fuck, he felt so weird… He couldn’t focus. His head was spinning… He couldn’t balance… He couldn’t –  
“Whoa!”

Alex cried out as King Piccolo fell off his bar stool. “Shit!” He raced out from behind the bar and crouched down over the demon king. “Piccolo – are you okay?”  
“Of course!” King Piccolo growled in annoyance. He wasn’t weak! That hadn’t hurt! Fool.  
“You need to go back to your room.” Alex said. “Come on – I’ll get security to escort you!”  
“No!” King Piccolo barked, pushing Alex away when he tried to help him up. King Piccolo grabbed hold of the bar and attempted to drag himself up. “I’m… I’m fine –” He stumbled, and Alex just about managed to stop King Piccolo falling to the floor.  
“You’re not fine!” Alex sighed. “Dammit… I knew I shouldn’t had served you! I’m sorry.”  
“Ha!” King Piccolo grinned, throwing his arm around the young man. “You’re the second person that’s said that to me.” He said. “But you didn’t… you didn’t kill me.”  
“I hope not.” Alex groaned. “Listen – if you won’t let security escort you, can I call Frikiza –”  
“No!” King Piccolo barked. “I don’t want –” His legs gave way again, and Alex tried to hold him up but he wasn’t strong enough against King Piccolo’s weight and they both fell to the floor.

King Piccolo closed his eyes and groaned. Oh… this was embarrassing… The bracelet! It was paralysing him! If he could just take it off…  
“Hey.” Alex looked at King Piccolo. “You need to call someone. You can’t walk.”  
“It’s this…” King Piccolo growled, tugging at his bracelet. “It attacks me.”  
“Yeah.” Alex rolled his eyes. “Should I call her?”  
“No!” King Piccolo snapped. “I’m fine! I – I can do it.” He placed his palms on the floor and pushed himself to his feet. There… he was up. He was up! Ha! Stupid bracelet couldn’t stop him! But… why was the room spinning…? King Piccolo groaned and closed his eyes, trying to focus. He opened his eyes again and took a step forward. Forward… forward…  
“Piccolo!” Alex cried out as he watched the demon king walk sideways into a booth, and he fell over it and onto the seat face down. 

Fuck… King Piccolo closed his eyes. Frikiza had done this! Somehow…  
“How about I call your son?” Alex’s voice came from above him. His son…? Junior…? Hm… Haha! Yes! Junior could take this bracelet off! And kill Frikiza! He was strong enough – and he owed his father a favour! Perfect!  
“Yes.” King Piccolo mumbled.  
“Great!” Alex sighed in relief. “What’s his number?”  
“SSh!” King Piccolo growled. “I’m doing it.”  
“What…?”

King Piccolo tried to focus as best as he could. He was telepathically linked to his children; if he could just think about Junior… Junior…  
_“Junior…”_

XXXXX

Meanwhile out in the wilderness, Piccolo Junior was dragged from his meditation by a familiar voice.  
_“J-Junior…”_ It was faint… but it was him. It had to be.  
_“Father?”_ Piccolo Junior spoke back telepathically. _“What is it?”_  
_“Come… help me.”_  
_“Where are you?”_ Piccolo Junior asked, then there was silence. What the hell…? _“Father?”_

XXXXX

“Hey!” Alex barked, shaking King Piccolo. “Wake up!”  
“Hm?” King Piccolo grunted, reluctantly awakening from his sudden sleep. He looked up to see Alex, and frowned in confusion. What the hell…? Where was Junior…?  
_“Father! What’s going on?”_ Piccolo Junior’s voice rang through the demon king’s mind. Oh yeah… Junior…  
_“Come get me!”_ King Piccolo ordered. _“Take me to my room!”_  
_“Where are you?”_  
_“The… hotel…”_ King Piccolo felt sleepy again. Sleep… that was all he needed. Sleep…  
“Hey!” Alex’s voice came from above him. “Piccolo – wake up!” Sleep… “Piccolo!”  
_“Father!”_ Junior’s voice cascaded through King Piccolo’s mind, forcing him to wake up.  
“ _ **Dammit**_!” King Piccolo spoke angrily. _“Just come get me!”_  
_“Where’s Frikiza?”_  
_“No! No Frikiza! Just you!”_ King Piccolo argued. _“That is an **order**!”_  
_“What the hell is going on?”_  
_“Frikiza broke my legs.”_  
_“What?”_  
_“Come get me!”_ King Piccolo thought angrily, and the strain of speaking telepathically sent him back to sleep. 

XXXXX

Thirty minutes later a worried-looking Alex was sitting next to a drunk but conscious King Piccolo, forcing him to drink his fourth glass of water.  
“Do me a favour – don’t mention getting wasted on my watch.” Alex said. “I’ll get fired.”  
“Where’s Junior?” King Piccolo mumbled.  
“Buddy – I keep telling you, I didn’t call him! You never gave me his number!” Alex insisted.  
“I called him…” King Piccolo uttered. “I told him to come. I don’t want Frikiza… She comes in my dreams.”  
“She does, huh?” Alex smirked. “Listen… it’s none of my business, but you keep talking about her. Why don’t you just ask her out –”  
“No!” King Piccolo snapped. “I don’t want to! I don’t like her! She’s – she’s bossy! And – and she broke my legs!”  
“Yeah. I don’t think you can blame her for your legs not working.” Alex replied flatly.

He looked up at the sound of someone entering the bar. “Sorry, we’re closed –” He stopped when he noticed the person looked amazingly like King Piccolo. “Uh… Junior?” Alex choked.  
“Oh my God…” Piccolo Junior groaned, immediately noticing the state his father was in. He was leaning forward and swaying a little; he wasn’t suppressing his ki anymore – which was how Junior had managed to find him – his eyes were unfocused; his breathing was arrhythmic; he stank of drink… He was a mess! “Father – what the hell did you do!” Piccolo Junior scolded, approaching him.  
“Frikiza broke me legs.” King Piccolo said. He held up his arm, showing Junior the bracelet. “With this. I can’t take it off. She never said I couldn’t take it off.”  
“I don’t think she broke your legs, Father, I think you did that.” Piccolo Junior growled. He looked at Alex. “How much did he drink?”  
“Probably about twenty five shots of vodka and six shots of Demon Juice.” Alex answered.  
“What the hell is Demon Juice?” Junior frowned.  
“It’s mine!” King Piccolo grinned. “My juice – became I’m a demon!”  
“Yeah – whatever.” Junior glared at Alex. “And you gave to him?”  
“Well… he looked like he was handling it…” Alex mumbled. “And he threatened me.”  
“So! Don’t you have security here?” Junior argued.  
“Buddy – look at the size of your father! He could eat our security!” Alex protested.  
“Whatever… Does he owe you any money?” Piccolo Junior sighed. Not that he had anything to pay his father’s tab with…  
“No, it’s on the room. He just needs someone to take him – he wouldn’t let our guys do it.” Alex held out the room key that had fallen out of King Piccolo’s pocket; Alex had picked it up and refused to give back to the demon king in case he lost it. “It’s on the top floor. Make sure he gets in okay…” Alex smiled. “Your dad’s a cool guy.”  
“Ha! You hear that, Junior?” King Piccolo grinned. “He thinks I’m cool! Alex – you want to kill Goku for me?”  
“No Father, he doesn’t.” Piccolo Junior growled. “Come on!” He dragged King Piccolo to his feet and allowed the demon king to lean on him while he escorted him out of the bar.

Out in the corridor King Piccolo growled and pulled away from Piccolo Junior.  
“I’m fine!” He grunted. “Hold on…”  
“Where are you going?” Piccolo Junior demanded, watching as his father staggered in a zigzag towards a large plant in the corner of the corridor. He frowned in confusion when King Piccolo stopped in front of the plant, and moved his hands to his belt… Oh God!  
“Father!” Piccolo Junior gasped, his eyes wide as he raced over to King Piccolo. “What are you doing!”  
“I need to pee.” King Piccolo shrugged.  
“Well you can’t do it here – come on!” Piccolo Junior grabbed his father before he could removing any of his clothing, and dragged him to the hotel elevators. “Get in!” Junior ordered and pushed his father into an elevator, following him inside. He punched his finger onto the button for the top floor, and the doors closed. Piccolo Junior let out a sigh. “I can’t believe you just did that.” He said angrily, shooting King Piccolo a disapproving glare.  
“Yeah… whatever. Just a stupid plant.” King Piccolo grunted.  
“You’ll get kicked out of the hotel.” Piccolo Junior argued, not looking at his father. He couldn’t. He was too embarrassed! He couldn’t believe this… Wait. Piccolo Junior frowned. He could hear liquid… Oh, hell!

Piccolo Junior turned around and his eyes widened in horror when he saw King Piccolo leaning his entire weight against the elevator wall, and urinating into the corner.  
“ _ **Father**_!” He screamed. “Stop!”  
“Hold on.” King Piccolo replied. “I’m almost done.”  
“ _ **No**_!” Piccolo Junior roared. “Stop now!”  
“Okay… Okay I’m done.” King Piccolo redressed himself and turned to face Junior, then yawned. “You wanna get some chicken?” He offered, falling back against the elevator wall when his legs failed to hold him steady.  
“I can’t believe you…” Junior almost sobbed with anger. He couldn’t believe he was spawned from this… What a disgrace! After all the years Piccolo Junior had spent believing he was the child of a ruthless, proud, fearful demon king… was this the reality of his heritage? This drunken idiot? Where was King Piccolo’s pride? Where was his dignity? Or his _balance_! This was **humiliating**!  
“I want food.” King Piccolo stated.  
“Tough shit, you’re going to bed!” Piccolo Junior barked, just as the elevator reached King Piccolo’s floor. “Come on!” He grabbed his father and dragged him down the corridor, holding the majority of King Piccolo’s weight in annoyance. Why couldn’t he walk! Why was he drunk! It was so embarrassing!  
“H-Hey…” King Piccolo stammered when they reached his hotel room. “Give me the key.”  
“Forget it, there’s no way you can use this thing.” Piccolo Junior replied flatly.  
“Insolent brat!” King Piccolo snapped. “I can use it!”  
“Oh really? Then be my guest.” Piccolo Junior handed the room key to his father, and watched as the demon king tried and failed to get it in the keyhole. King Piccolo frowned in confusion. Dammit… He could see the hole, he just couldn’t hit it… It was Frikiza! She was doing this! It was the bracelet!  
“It’s Frikiza!” King Piccolo declared. “She broke my aim!”  
“Yeah – whatever.” Junior snatched the key off his father and unlocked the door. He handed the key back to King Piccolo and looked at him sternly. “I’m really pissed at you, you know.”  
“Shut up.” King Piccolo snarled. “Failure.”

Piccolo Junior had to force himself to hold his tongue. That bastard… How dare he! Dragging him out here in the middle of the night, drunk, falling over, urinating in – **dammit**! Piccolo Junior closed his eyes tight and took a breath, calming himself, then looked at his father.  
“Does the door lock automatically?” He asked.  
“Yeah.” King Piccolo grunted. “Don’t worry. Nobody’s gonna hurt me. I’m the king of demons!”  
“Yeah, whatever. Let me know when you get settled in. I’ll wait out here.” Junior replied.  
“No need!” King Piccolo waved his hand, dismissing his son. “Go home.” 

Piccolo Junior watched as his father opened the door and staggered into the room, then closed the door behind him. He listened closely. He could hear the sound of stumbling, like King Piccolo was falling over… oh hell.  
_“Father, are you okay?”_ Piccolo Junior asked.  
_“Fuck off! I don’t need your pity!”_ King Piccolo snarled from his position in his chair, which he had just fallen into. Piccolo Junior took another breath, fighting the urge to burst into that room and send that stupid demon back to hell.  
_“Whatever.”_ He thought to himself. King Piccolo was obviously okay. Piccolo Junior gritted his teeth and clenched his fists in annoyance, then made his way down the hotel corridor to leave. _“Stupid drunk.”_ He thought bitterly.


	11. King Piccolo's First Kiss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  ***lime warning*** I won't say too much until the end, but if you don't want to read anything saucy then don't read this chapter :)

_Thud_. The loud stumbling of King Piccolo brought Frikiza into semi-wakefulness.  
“Mm…” She mumbled in her sleep. “Piccolo… are you okay?” His energy felt strange; he wasn’t supressing it, but… it wasn’t at all under control. Was he sick…?  
“Fine!” King Piccolo grunted as he fell into his chair. “Night, Sweetheart.” Haha… ‘Night, Sweetheart’. He would say that to her if they really were married. But they weren’t. No! “I don’t want to get married…” King Piccolo grumbled.  
“Nobody would marry you…” Frikiza replied sleepily.  
“Except you.” King Piccolo smirked, looking over at her. “You like me.”  
“Shut up!” Frikiza growled. That was it! She could smell it now. He’d been drinking. “You’re drunk!”  
“I’m not!” King Piccolo argued. “That woman… It was Goku’s wife! She spiked my food.”  
“Of course she did.” Frikiza yawned. “Goodnight, Piccolo.”

King Piccolo didn’t reply. He didn’t want to. He didn’t want to speak to her! Why did… why did she always have to argue? Why – why was she so bossy! Bossy, and opinionated… and everything had to be her way!  
“Bitch.” King Piccolo muttered. He leaned his head back and tried to go to sleep, but ended up frowning in discomfort. Dammit! This chair was so uncomfortable! He shifted in as many ways as he could to try to get to sleep, but the discomfort that he normally slept through was keeping King Piccolo awake. This wasn’t fair! He should be in that bed! Stupid Frikiza took it – this was King Piccolo’s alive time! She could sleep in a bed whenever she wanted! He wanted the bed. It was **his** bed, and he was going to take it.

King Piccolo stood up and swayed a little, trying with all his might to keep his balance. Dammit… now the floor was broken! Stupid floor. He stepped forward clumsily, and collapsed onto the bed, causing the now-asleep Frikiza to groan in annoyance.  
“What are you doing…?” She growled.  
“Shut up.” King Piccolo spat. He took off his shoes and loosened his belt, then he removed his cape and threw all the items onto the floor. He struggled to pull his arms out of his gi, but he did eventually, and rolled his gi down to his waist. It was too hot in this room… damn Frikiza! She’d turned the heat up! Stupid icejin! Well… she would need the heat up now, because she was going to sleep on the floor without a duvet! Hahaha! 

King Piccolo rose to his feet again and pulled back the bedcovers, then threw himself onto the bed.  
“Piccolo!” Frikiza cried out as the sudden impact of King Piccolo’s weight caused the bed to bounce as if there were an earthquake. She propped herself up on her arm and turned to him. “What are you –” Frikiza didn’t have time to speak another word before King Piccolo’s foot came flying at her and he booted her as hard as he possibly could, sending her flying out of the bed and crashing onto the floor. “ **Hey**!” Frikiza screamed angrily and leapt to her feet. “What the hell are you doing!”  
“I want the bed.” King Piccolo mumbled, burying his face in the pillow. It was so comfortable… He stretched and yawned, relishing in the softness of the mattress and the amount of space he had to move. Why had he ever taken the chair…?  
“You could have asked me!” Frikiza wailed, infuriated. She couldn't believe him… She could **not** believe him! King Piccolo let out a short, angry growl. There she was, whining to him in that shrill voice again… nag nag nag… King Piccolo closed his eyes in an attempt to block her out. It didn’t work. “At least get off my tail you moron!” Frikiza yelled.  
“Huh?”

King Piccolo frowned, and suddenly realised that he felt something under his stomach. “What…?” He rolled onto his back and looked down to see the end of Frikiza’s tail poking out from underneath him. Haha! He was squashing her! Hahaha!  
“Piccolo!” Frikiza seethed. “Get _off_!”

King Piccolo looked at her. Ha. She looked angry. Standing with her fists clenched and her legs apart in a defensive stance, glaring at him… Ooo those eyes looked so fierce… “Piccolo. I’m asking you nicely…” Frikiza hissed. “Get off my tail or –”  
“Or what!” King Piccolo challenged. “You gonna… you gonna send me back to hell?”

Frikiza tapped her foot in annoyance and clicked her tongue, then held its tip against her teeth as she tried to keep her cool. King Piccolo couldn’t help but notice… Her tongue against her teeth, and her shiny lips… he was dreaming again…  
“Let me wake up!” King Piccolo ordered. “Stop this!”  
“What are you talking about!” Frikiza snapped. “This isn’t a dream, you idiot! Now get off me or I will _drag_ you off!” He ki rose as she became more angry; she tried to pull her tail out from under King Piccolo’s back, but he was so heavy she wouldn’t be able to do it without hurting him. She would have to lift him off her… or use her tail to throw him through the ceiling! That seemed like a more appealing option right now.  
“Mm.” King Piccolo grunted as he felt Frikiza twist her tail under him in an attempt to break it free.   
“ ** _Piccolo_**!” Frikiza yelled. She flew up above King Piccolo and glared down at him. “Do I have to tie you up again?”  
“Hahaha!” King Piccolo grinned. “How about I tie you up?”  
“Wh-What?” Frikiza gasped.

King Piccolo looked up at her, and his eyes twinkled. Wow… she looked sexy. Since when was she so sexy? Even her stupid icejin face looked good! Being angry really suited her. Was this really not a dream…? Maybe it was real… Maybe his dream had predicted the future! Yes! He’d dreamt about this! It all made sense now! Hahahaha he’d figured it out! That was because he was a genius!   
“Yeah!” King Piccolo exclaimed triumphantly. “I get it! You can’t fool me!”  
“What…?” Frikiza uttered. What the hell was he talking about? He was wasted. Frikiza didn’t even have to smell it, she could see it. How the hell had he managed to even get back to his room? He must have been escorted… Oh, how embarrassing! Had he done any damage? How much would she have to pay because of him…? This extra day would end up costing her a fortune!

King Piccolo shifted himself to grab hold of Frikiza’s tail. He looked up at her menacingly and grinned.  
“I’ll let you go… but it’ll cost you.” He sniggered.  
“Oh yeah?” Frikiza snorted. “What?”  
“One kiss.” King Piccolo said. Frikiza’s eyes widened.  
“What?”

XXXXX

“ ** _What_**!” The mutants all cried out as they watched their master on a spy-screen.  
“My my, isn’t he bold?” Zarbon smirked behind them. They were all in Frieza’s cave; the mutants had originally turned up to buy a spy-screen, but had started using it immediately out of concern for their heavily intoxicated master.   
“Do you think they’ll do it?” Cell questioned.  
“If they do… does that mean they’re in love?” Tambourine asked, and Cell, Frieza and Zarbon all burst out laughing.  
“Love? Are you kidding?” Frieza exclaimed.  
“Where did you learn about sex, the Disney channel?” Cell sniggered.  
“Well why is it such a crazy idea!” Piano frowned. “Frikiza is a lovely girl, I would be thrilled if King Piccolo could fall in love with her.”  
“Yeah! Then she’d be part of the family.” Drum nodded with a big smile on his face.  
“Tch. Believe me, if either one of them is going to change it’s her.” Frieza replied. “He’ll bring out the bad in her before she brings out the good in him – not that there is any good in that giant brute.”  
“Hey! King Piccolo isn’t all that bad!” Cymbal argued. “… … hopefully.”  
“Hmph! Do you boys really think your dear father can become a nicer person?” Zarbon sniped. “What are you hoping for, that he’ll suddenly start treating you with respect and you’ll all live happily ever after?”  
“Well… yeah.” Tambourine mumbled. “I mean, eventually… if he meets the right girl, and she can make him happier… maybe he’ll be nice to us… Right, Piano?” He looked at his older brother hopefully, praying that Piano would agree with him.  
“I… I think it’s a possibility.” Piano nodded.   
“Sorry, Boys.” Frieza smirked. “I hate to ruin your dreams, but you could give him a thousand girls and spend all eternity with King Piccolo and he would still treat you like mere insects. It’s all you deserve.”  
“Yep.” Cell nodded, putting his arms around the mutants in mocking support. “Sorry, Guys. You were all made to be stamped on. If I were you, I’d end your existences now before he does something really terrible to you.” The mutants all hung their heads and groaned. 

XXXXX

Back in the hotel room King Piccolo was grinning at Frikiza and forcefully tugging on her tail.  
“Come on, Gorgeous!” He exclaimed. “Give me a kiss and I’ll release you!”  
“What the hell are you talking about!” Frikiza shrieked, her cheeks darkening. “You – you don’t want me to kiss you!”  
“So why am I telling you to!” King Piccolo growled. She wasn’t very smart, was she? Or maybe she was just shy… King Piccolo’s grin grew wider when he noticed Frikiza’s cheeks had gone dark. She was blushing! “I know you like me.” King Piccolo smirked. “So come on – prove it!”  
“No!” Frikiza argued, trying to break her tail out of his grasp. He was digging his claws into her skin to keep his grip; she would have to rip them off to get away from him! “Let go! You’re hurting!” Frikiza scolded as his sharp claws send a wave of pain through her tail.  
“Come on, Frikiza!” King Piccolo ordered impatiently. “Don’t be so stubborn!”  
“Hey!” Frikiza cried out as King Piccolo suddenly yanked on her tail, dragging her down towards him. “Stop –” Her eyes widened as King Piccolo threw his arms around her waist and squeezed her, chuckling to himself triumphantly.  
“Now you’re even more stuck!” He exclaimed. “And I’m not letting you go until you kiss me.”  
“Piccolo, you’re drunk.” Frikiza hissed, glaring at him. “You don’t even want this! You don’t like me!”  
“I like your body.” King Piccolo stated. “And you know, you…” He looked at her face. She was sort of pretty… in an icejin kind of way. Her eyes were pretty, and her face was kind of a cute shape… It was just a shame that she talked too much. “You’re kind of cute when you’re quiet.”

XXXXX

“Hahahaha!” Cell burst out laughing. “I can’t believe he’s saying that to her! What an idiot!”  
“Not much of a charmer, is he?” Zarbon remarked with a smirk on his lips.  
“Shut up!” Piano barked, glaring at them. “He’s – he’s just not used to talking to girls, that’s all! Not girls that he likes, anyway…”  
“If he likes her then why is he trying to make her do something she doesn’t want to do…?” Drum questioned, his face plastered with concern.  
“Yeah… maybe we should try to reach out to Junior to help her…” Tambourine uttered.  
“Tch. No need.” Frieza grunted. “Remember Frikiza’s power level is at least as high as mine – if she wanted to kill that moron she could.”  
“So… what are you saying?” Cymbal asked, looking at him. “Do you think she just doesn’t want to hurt him?”  
“Of course not, she never wants to hurt anyone.” Frieza growled and looked away in embarrassment. “It’s disgusting.”  
“Well if she does decide to finish him off, it’ll be one hell of a way to die.” Zarbon smirked. Cell and Frieza started to snigger, while the mutants looked at them in confusion.

XXXXX

“Piccolo, stop it!” Frikiza ordered, trying to break out of the demon king’s grasp. “You’re drunk!”  
“No I’m not!” King Piccolo argued. “It’s this bracelet! Your stupid bracelet broke my legs!”  
“No, it didn’t.” Frikiza growled. “Stop it –” She gritted her teeth when King Piccolo tightened his grip on her. Dammit… He was going to break her ribs! He was too drunk to realise his own strength, and also too drunk to protect himself if she actually fought back! She would end up killing him before he let her go. Frikiza’s blush darkened as a thought came into her mind. What if she just did it…? It was just one kiss, right? He probably wouldn’t even remember it, and even if he did he would definitely pretend that it never happened. He was sort of handsome, after all… even if he did stink of alcohol. Frikiza looked at King Piccolo, and he stared back with a stupid grin on his face, waiting for her to give in to his demands. Idiot… He looked so confident! There wasn’t a single doubt in his mind that she would do whatever he wanted. He really thought he was invincible, didn’t he? He was so arrogant, and naïve, and he grinned like a simpleton. … Actually, that part was kind of cute. Frikiza smiled a little, and let out a sigh. “Okay.” She said. “One kiss, and you’ll let me go?” After all… it wasn’t much, was it? She’d done worse things.  
“Yeah.” King Piccolo nodded.  
“You promise?” Frikiza said sternly.  
“Hahaha!” King Piccolo laughed. “What, you don’t trust me?”  
“ _No_.” Frikiza answered. King Piccolo smirked. Maybe she wasn’t so naïve after all.  
“You’re learning.” He said. “I promise – you give me a kiss, and I’ll let you go.”  
“Fine.” Frikiza replied. She blushed again, and closed her eyes. “Go on.”

Frikiza waited. She felt kind of nervous… Piccolo was going to kiss her! _Piccolo_! What would his lips feel like…? Rough, she imagined. She pictured him as a forceful kisser, and definitely selfish. He wouldn’t care about what she wanted, he would just do whatever satisfied him… He would probably be fierce, and hold her really tightly… Frikiza’s heart skipped a beat as she imagined it. This was crazy! Why was she getting so excited? He was just drunk! There was no way he’d want to do this if he was sober! He didn’t like her… did he? Well… what if he did? Maybe he could be her boyfriend… No! No! King Piccolo would never want to do that! And even if he did, it didn’t matter because he was her client and Frikiza wasn’t allowed to date her clients. _“Stupid.”_ She thought to herself angrily. How could she even think of such an idea? There was no way she and King Piccolo could **ever** – huh? Frikiza frowned slightly when she felt a quick warmth against her lips, lasting just a few seconds. Was that it? She opened her eyes to see King Piccolo grinning at her triumphantly.  
“What did you think of that?” He beamed. Haha, that had been great! Her lips were so soft and moist… He should have kissed her for longer. Dammit! Would she let him do it again?  
“Um…” Frikiza uttered. “Is that it?”  
“Huh?”

King Piccolo looked at her in confusion. What the hell did she mean, ‘is that it?’ ? Wasn’t that how icejins kissed? Well… He didn’t want to do a stupid icejin kiss! He wanted to do a King Piccolo kiss! And if she didn’t like it then to hell with her! “What do you mean!” King Piccolo demanded, suddenly annoyed.  
“Well… no offence, but… that was how I kissed my boyfriends in primary school.” Frikiza giggled.  
“Huh?” King Piccolo gasped. Wait… What! Why was she laughing? She – she thought he kissed like a primary school boy! Oh, no way! He didn’t kiss like a kid! He was just – he was just getting warmed up, that was all! Stupid Frikiza!  
“Well, anyway.” Frikiza said, pulling herself out of King Piccolo’s loosened grasp. “A deal’s a deal. So we can go to sleep now, right?”

King Piccolo watched as Frikiza moved away from him. No… No, she was **not** going to mock him! No way! He was going to kiss her again – and he’d kiss her for real this time! Like an adult! He’d give her the best kiss she’d ever had!  
“Hey!” King Piccolo snapped, grabbing hold of Frikiza’s tail again. “No! We’re not done yet!”  
“What!” Frikiza frowned. “But you said you would let me go if I kissed you!”  
“Yeah but – you didn’t!” King Piccolo argued. “You didn’t kiss me, I kissed you! And that – that was just a warm-up! So…” His cheeks darkened slightly. “Now you have to do it.”  
“Okay…” Frikiza sighed. “Fine.” She leaned into him, but she had barely gotten near his face before King Piccolo stopped her.  
“And give me a proper kiss.” He said. “Not… not how you did it in primary school.” Actually he was kind of curious to see what it was like – a ‘real’ kiss. He’d never kissed a girl before… She had better do it good! Otherwise he was going to rip her tail off!  
“Are you sure…?” Frikiza uttered, looking at King Piccolo cautiously. “Have you ever done this before…?”  
“Yes, of course I have!” King Piccolo barked, his cheeks darkening. Why was she asking him that! What did it matter anyway? He’d spent his youth taking over the world; that was way more important than doing stupid kisses! How dare she imply that he’d missed out! She was the one that had missed out – on dominating the Earth!   
“Okay.” Frikiza smiled as she looked at him. She didn’t believe him. Wow. He really was inexperienced, wasn’t he…? It was hard to believe that under all that evilness, all that toughness and fierceness, there was someone who was… young. Someone who new to something, and needed to learn, like a baby bird learning to fly… It was so cute. Frikiza’s eyes softened as she looked at King Piccolo. Well… maybe she could teach him. After all, he wouldn’t remember, would he? And even if he did, then it would be useful for him later on, if he ever did meet a girl… a girl that wasn’t Frikiza… Anyway! Frikiza took a breath, and smirked slightly. “Close your eyes, and follow my lead.”

King Piccolo obeyed, and closed his eyes, waiting almost nervously for Frikiza to kiss him. What did she have in mind…? Was she going to use her tongue? Now that King Piccolo thought of it, he’d read magazines where people kissed with their tongues… but he didn’t know exactly how they did it. He tensed slightly as he felt the warmth of Frikiza’s hands place themselves around his neck, gently touching his face. He felt her place her lips on him, just like he’d done to her. She was doing everything he’d done to begin with, but then King Piccolo felt her lips part. Frikiza opened her mouth, and King Piccolo copied her. Then he felt something warm entering his mouth… Was it her tongue? Yeah… it must be. It was so soft… 

Frikiza’s tongue played along King Piccolo’s teeth at first, brushing along the tips of his fangs cautiously, as if she were giving him time to adjust. Tch. He didn’t need time! He wasn’t a child! King Piccolo opened his mouth wide and pushed his tongue against hers, caressing it forcefully just to prove that he wasn’t afraid of her. He felt her breathing change… Frikiza held her grip on the back of King’s Piccolo’s head more firmly, pulling his lips towards hers. It was… nice. King Piccolo moved his hands from around Frikiza’s tail and slid his palms up her back. Her slim, smooth back. He held the back of her head and kept her in place as his tongue explored the depths of her mouth. She tasted so good… She was so warm, and her lips were so soft… and so was her body. King Piccolo slid his hands down her frame, his fingertips keenly examining the shape of her. He massaged her back, drawing a soft moan from Frikiza’s lips. Did she like that…? He caressed her firmer, and moved his hands down to her hips. Her wide, round hips. King Piccolo tugged at Frikiza’s flesh greedily and he kissed her, and moved his lustful hands down to her butt. That firm, tight butt. He was dying to touch it. He groped her hungrily, his fingers wrapping themselves around her round buttocks, grabbing at her fiercely until a short gasp suddenly escaped Frikiza’s throat.

She stiffened, and pulled her lips away. “Okay.” Frikiza breathed. “That’s enough.” Her cheeks were violet and her heart was racing. Damn… She’d gotten carried away there! She wasn’t expecting him to be such a fast learner. His lips were so rough, and he was so forceful… He did hold her tightly, just like she’d imagined. He was so fierce with his hands… How sexy!  
“No.” King Piccolo frowned. “I want more.” He wasn’t stopping now. He was enjoying this!  
“What!” Frikiza gasped. “No way! Piccolo – we had a deal!”  
“Well… you didn’t trust me anyway.” King Piccolo grinned. “And you were right.”  
“Hey!” Frikiza cried out as he threw his lips down onto her again and tightened his grip on her butt. “Piccolo!” Frikiza hissed, turning her face away from him. “Stop!”  
“Nu-uh! This is fun!” King Piccolo purred into her neck as it presented itself to him. He kissed her neck, just like she had in his dream, then he licked it. It tasted good. It made him want more!   
“P-Piccolo!” Frikiza whimpered, her cheeks so dark King Piccolo could feel their heat as he held his face against her. “Stop it!”  
“Mm…” King Piccolo groaned, and softly bit her neck. “Don’t be so stubborn. This is good, right?”  
“That’s not the point!” Frikiza hissed. “You’re drunk!”  
“I’m not!” King Piccolo argued. Hey, but… she wasn’t denying it… “You like this!” King Piccolo exclaimed, and looked at her triumphantly. “Because you like me, don’t you? You want me to be rough with you, that’s what the dream said!”  
“What dream…?” Frikiza mumbled. Had he had a dream about her? Oh wow… maybe he did like her! But… but it was wrong! He was drunk – he didn’t know what he was doing!  
“Come on, Gorgeous.” King Piccolo urged. He grabbed Frikiza’s shoulders and pushed her onto her back, then pinned his weight on top of her. “Let’s have sex!” He beamed.  
“What! No!” Frikiza shrieked. “You don’t know what you’re saying!”  
“Yeah I do!” King Piccolo replied, his grin widening as Frikiza struggled beneath him. The movements of her body against his felt so good, and her face looked so cute and delicious… He had to have another taste!

King Piccolo planted his lips on Frikiza’s hot cheek and started kissing her all over her face and neck. “Come on! You’re – you’re so cute!” He said. “And I don’t want to… I don’t want to waste your body.”  
“My body…?” Frikiza uttered, trying not to smile as his wave of kisses tickled her skin. She shouldn’t be liking this… It was wrong!  
“Yeah, you’re body’s hot.” King Piccolo stated. “I love these pyjamas.”  
“You love my – hey! Piccolo!” Frikiza gasped as the demon king threw his head between her breasts and shook himself between them, his hands grabbing her breasts and pushing them against his face. They were so soft and squishy… so warm, so comfortable… “Piccolo! S-Stop it!” Frikiza squealed, trying to calm herself. Her cheeks felt like they were on fire! Why was she enjoying this so much? She didn’t want him to stop… but she did! He was **drunk**! He didn’t really want to do this – she couldn’t let him! It would be taking advantage of him. “Piccolo –” Frikiza let out a gasp when she suddenly felt something hard against the bottom of her shorts. Her eyes widened. “Oh my God! Is that your – ?”  
“Hahaha, yeah!” King Piccolo exclaimed. “You see what you do to me, Frikiza?” He said, grinding his hips against her and rubbing his stiff organ against her shorts. “Come on. Come on – I’ll be really good!” He promised. “I’ll be the best you’ve ever had!”  
“I… don’t doubt that.” Frikiza mumbled, biting her lip as King Piccolo pushed himself against her. God, he was so big! Was he really that attracted to her? Did he really want to…? No! She couldn’t. **_No_**! Frikiza scrunched her eyes shut and tried to not enjoy the way he was touching her. She didn’t like the way he rubbed against her. She _didn’t_! And his large, rough hands on her breasts didn’t feel nice, and the way he was kissing and nibbling at her neck with those amazing fangs… it wasn’t fun! No, it wasn’t! No no no no no! “P-Piccolo…” Frikiza panted. “Stop… please. I don’t want to do this.”  
“Oh yeah?” King Piccolo smirked against her lips as he attempted to kiss her again. “Tell your body.”

Frikiza opened her eyes to realise that her legs were parted and her arms were around his waist, holding him against her. Oh crap…  
“Piccolo…” She breathed. “You’re drunk. Another time, okay…? I don’t want you to do something you regret.”  
“Grrrr…” King Piccolo growled angrily, suddenly enraged by her concern. “Why do you care about me! Why!”

Frikiza was about to answer, but something about King Piccolo’s eyes made her uneasy. He looked out of focus… even more so.   
“Are you okay…?” Frikiza asked.  
“Uh… yeah…” King Piccolo mumbled. “I’m fine.” No… He felt strange. He felt kind of dizzy… ugh. Oh… Oh, he felt sick… then a sudden sharpness filled his mouth. “I’m gonna puke!” He choked.  
“What!”

Frikiza watched as King Piccolo threw himself off the bed and raced towards the bathroom, his hand clasped over his mouth. She winced at the sound of him vomiting. Gross… He’d better not have missed the toilet! She was **not** cleaning that up! “Piccolo!” Frikiza sighed, and climbed off the bed after him.

King Piccolo squatted over the toilet, throwing up an amount of alcohol that would have killed any human within minutes of its consumption. He coughed and spluttered, and took a breath. Okay… Okay, that was most of it. Okay… Good. He actually felt a little better. He felt a little clearer. He would be even better at sex now! Great! His food poisoning was wearing off – but then of course it was! There was no way Goku’s weakling wife was going to kill **him**! The Demon King Piccolo! King Piccolo spat into the toilet, then frowned when he saw two shiny orbs in front of him… … Shit!

Frikiza stepped into the bathroom carrying a bottle of water, just in time to see King Piccolo throw two orange orbs into the sink. Oh, no… “Piccolo, what the hell are they…?” She groaned.  
“Wash them for me!” King Piccolo ordered.  
“What? No!” Frikiza growled. “That’s disgusting!”  
“No – you don’t understand. I need them –” King Piccolo was suddenly cut off by another overwhelming feeling of sickness, and he returned to throwing up into the toilet. “P-Please…” He gasped. Frikiza paused for a moment, then let out a sigh.  
“Fine.” She snapped. “But I’m not touching them!” She approached the sink and turned on the tap, then used her ki to move the balls through the water. Oh, this was gross… Why was she doing this? Being nice really sucked sometimes…  
“Th-Thanks.” King Piccolo breathed, then threw up again. Dammit! What was wrong with him! Five minutes ago he was fine – he was about to get laid! And now… now he felt terrible! Was this how food poisoning worked? Did it come on all of a sudden, and last forever? No… No, this couldn’t be happening to him! He was King Piccolo!

Frikiza finished off cleaning the orange orbs, and looked at King Piccolo.  
“These are dragonballs, aren’t they?” She said.  
“… No.” King Piccolo uttered. Dammit… was she going to confiscate them? Shit!  
“It’s okay. I won’t take them.” Frikiza assured him. “But… you know you can’t wish for anything bad, right? I won’t let you.”  
“Ha!” King Piccolo snorted. “You can’t stop me!”  
“Try me.” Frikiza smirked.

King Piccolo turned his head to glare at Frikiza for a moment, but he soon started vomiting again. Dammit… Would this really never stop? He coughed and gagged, breathlessly holding his head over the toilet. Oh, this was horrible… He wanted to go home. He wanted to go back to hell. He didn’t want to be alive anymore. Being alive was awful… “Hey.” King Piccolo frowned slightly when he felt a warm hand on his back. He looked up to see Frikiza smiling down at him, holding out a bottle of water. “Here.” She said.  
“…” King Piccolo swiped the water from her hand and downed it thirstily without even taking a breath. He belched, then gasped, and panted as the liquid rehydrated him. It wasn’t enough though… He still felt like crap. “More.” King Piccolo breathed. “Please.”  
“Sure.” Frikiza smiled. She left the bathroom for a moment, and returned with another bottle of water. She watched as King Piccolo downed it again, a little slower this time. Thank God. He was starting to sober up. “Feel better?” Frikiza asked.  
“No.” King Piccolo answered miserably, trying to spit the taste of vomit out of his mouth. Frikiza giggled and squatted down beside him. 

King Piccolo frowned slightly in confusion when Frikiza placed her hand on his back again and rubbed him gently. Soothingly. It was nice… King Piccolo closed his eyes and hung his head. “Goku’s wife poisoned me.” He muttered grumpily.  
“Are you sure?” Frikiza questioned. “It’s nothing to do with all the alcohol you drank?”  
“No!” King Piccolo roared. “I’m not drunk! This is food poisoning!”  
“Okay.” Frikiza said with a smirk. “Of course it is, Sire.” King Piccolo froze. ‘Sire’ … He shuddered. Frikiza noticed, and looked at him. “What’s wrong?” She asked, rubbing his back in concern. “Are you cold?”  
“Haha…” King Piccolo laughed a little. “No.” But it was cute that she was worried. She was too nice for her own good. One day it would get her hurt. By him. King Piccolo looked at Frikiza, and for a brief moment he seemed apologetic. “I’m sorry we couldn’t have sex.” He said. “I know you wanted to.”  
“No – I didn’t!” Frikiza protested.  
“Haha.” King Piccolo sniggered, and grinned at her mischievously. “Yes you did. I felt it.”  
“You felt it…?” Frikiza frowned, unsure of what he meant. How could he – … oh. Yeah. He’d had his hands on her shorts for a second, he must have felt… okay. Frikiza looked away, her cheeks dark. “We would have regretted it.” She stated. “You would have, anyway… and then I would have felt bad.”  
“You’re too nice.” King Piccolo replied.   
“Yeah… maybe I am.” Frikiza shrugged. “But you’re too nasty.”  
“Yeah. I am.” King Piccolo agreed, and then smirked. “That’s why you like me, right?”  
“Shut up!” Frikiza hissed. She tried to be angry at him, but she couldn’t fight back a small smirk of her own. In a way he was charming… Sometimes. When he was being playful, like this, he was kind of… fun. Frikiza looked at King Piccolo, and giggled slightly. “Yeah.” She trailed her finger across King Piccolo’s lips, studying their texture. They were so rough, so calloused… and they tasted kind of nice. Frikiza smiled. “You know… you don’t kiss like you’ve never done it before.” She said.  
“I… I don’t?” King Piccolo uttered. Frikiza shook her head.  
“Mm-mm.” She answered. “I’m sure if we did have sex, you’d be good at it.”  
“Oh…” King Piccolo mumbled. Oh… well… great! She **did** want to have sex with him! So what the hell was she waiting for! “So let’s go and –” King Piccolo couldn’t finish his sentence before he started vomiting again. Frikiza watched with a raised eyebrow, smirking slightly.  
“I think we should give it a miss tonight.” She suggested. “Don’t you?”  
“Yeah…” King Piccolo breathed. “Okay…” He collapsed onto the toilet with his forehead resting on the seat, and groaned. “I hate food poisoning…”  
“Yeah…” Frikiza sighed, rubbing his back again. “Me too.” 

XXXXX

“Come on! Give me the dragonballs!” King Piccolo demanded as he and Frikiza made their way out of the bathroom. He’d had another bottle of water and had now gone ten minutes without vomiting, so after making him rinse his mouth out with mouthwash Frikiza was escorting King Piccolo back to bed.  
“No! Not if you’re going to swallow them again!” Frikiza argued, holding onto his dragonballs.  
“I knew it! You _are_ trying to take them!” King Piccolo growled.  
“No I’m not, I just don’t want to wash vomit off them **again** if you throw up.” Frikiza replied.  
“Why not! It’s your fault anyway!” King Piccolo snapped.   
“My fault! How is it my fault!” Frikiza demanded.  
“You made me go to that stupid dinner that gave me food poisoning.” King Piccolo said.  
“Oh… I am _not_ getting into this.” Frikiza seethed. He was _infuriating_! If he wasn’t drunk he’d be dead right now – the only reason she hadn’t sent him back to hell already was because she wasn’t entirely sure he knew what he was saying. Even though he would probably be just as argumentative if he as sober… He was by far the most difficult criminal she had ever come across! And that included _**Frieza**_!

Frikiza lifted up one of the pillows on the bed and held up the dragonballs in front of King Piccolo. “Look – this is your side of the bed, and I’m putting them here.” She placed the dragonballs down on the bed, and covered them with the pillow. “See? So I can’t get them without you noticing. Good enough?”  
“… Tch.” King Piccolo grunted. “Fine. But if you try to get them, I’ll eat your tail!”  
“That’s not the worst thing you’ve said to me tonight.” Frikiza replied with a small smirk.  
“Haha…” King Piccolo watched as she climbed into bed and crawled onto her side on all fours. He licked his lips, his gaze locked onto Frikiza’s butt. Sexy… she was sexy. But the moment was gone. Too bad. Now he just wanted to sleep… He still felt kind of sick. Damn Goku’s wife and her vile cooking! Why had she even tried to poison him anyway! He only had a day to live – what was the point!

Frikiza watched as King Piccolo climbed into bed and lay his head on top of his pillow, protecting his dragonballs. She rolled her eyes. Pathetic.  
“Goodnight, Piccolo.” Frikiza said, and lay down.  
“Night.” King Piccolo replied.

Frikiza closed her eyes and attempted to sleep, when she heard King Piccolo moving. Oh God… What was he up to now…? She just wanted to go to sleep! Frikiza felt a sudden weight on her chest and an arm around her waist, and she looked down to see King Piccolo’s head nestling itself in her breasts.  
“Piccolo…” Frikiza sighed.  
“The dragonballs made the pillow funny.” King Piccolo growled. “This is way more comfortable…” He buried his face in her breasts and hugged her with his arm, grinning to himself in pure satisfaction. Frikiza looked down at him, and in all her annoyance she couldn’t help but smile a little. He was kind of cute, after all… He was heavy though! She couldn’t sleep with him on her all night. When he fell asleep she would roll him off. It was pointless trying now – he would just fight her, and she would have to hurt him, and the whole thing wouldn’t be any quicker anyway… Frikiza couldn’t even stand to think about what a drama it would be if she tried to move him now. He was so stubborn! Unbearable stubborn! She would just wait until he fell asleep. It shouldn’t take long, after all. In Frikiza’s experience, alcohol made a great sleeping potion. 

Frikiza gazed down at the demon king, and a small smile formed on her lips. He looked so comfortable on her chest, so content… it was kind of nice. This was the first time she’d ever seen him so relaxed. Maybe it was the alcohol… either way, Frikiza liked it. She placed an arm around King Piccolo’s back and started stroking him lightly, her nails trailing delicately across his skin as her fingertips caressed the textures of his frame. It was relaxing… His back was so warm, even with no shirt on. He was so warm, and so good to touch… Frikiza could get used to this. Maybe. In another place, another time… this would have been nice. 

King Piccolo shifted towards Frikiza’s hand and let out a low moan, almost like a purr. “That’s nice…” He mumbled sleepily. “Keep doing that…”  
“Okay.” Frikiza answered. She smiled again and planted a soft kiss on his forehead, then looked down at his eyes. “But… can you do me a favour?”  
“Mm?” King Piccolo grunted.   
“Can you _please_ sleep with your eyes closed? It’s creepy.” Frikiza pleaded.  
“Haha.” King Piccolo smirked a little. “I like creeping you out.”  
“But why?” Frikiza whined.  
“Because I’m nasty.” King Piccolo replied, and nuzzled his face in her breasts. He hugged her with his arm again, and grinned. “That’s why you like me.”  
“Whatever.” Frikiza growled. She looked away and continued stroking his back, waiting for him to fall asleep. As soon as he was asleep, she was _definitely_ turning his eyes away from her. It was just weird. 


	12. The Morning After The Night Before

“ _ **Arrrrrrrrrrrrgh**_!” King Piccolo awoke screaming the morning after the night before. He threw his hands onto his head in agony as a thundering pain cascaded through his skull, worse than anything he had ever felt in his entire life. “What… what’s going on!”  
“Oh, so you’re awake?” Frikiza’s voice caught King Piccolo’s attention, and he looked over to see her leaning against the bathroom door with her arms folded, smirking at him. “I was starting to think you were dead.”  
“Give me five minutes.” King Piccolo groaned, rubbing his throbbing head. Dammit, he felt like his brain was being pummelled by someone as heavy as him! What was going on? And his stomach… he had such terrible indigestion, and he felt like he wanted to vomit! What the hell was happening to him? King Piccolo tried to think. That woman… Goku’s wife. She’d cooked for him… That was it! She’d poisoned him! The bitch! “Food poisoning!” King Piccolo snarled, and leapt off the bed. “I’m going to **kill** that –” He stopped when a sudden wave of nausea overcame him. Oh, hell…

Frikiza stepped aside as King Piccolo came charging towards her and into the bathroom. She let out a sigh when she head the all too familiar sound of the demon king vomiting.  
“It’s not food poisoning.” Frikiza said flatly. “It’s called a hangover.”  
“Hangover!” King Piccolo snorted. “What the hell are you talking about! I didn’t drink alcohol in that house – or did she spike my drink as well?”  
“What about the thirty one shots of alcohol that you had **here** last night?” Frikiza replied, glaring over at him. “Junior came over this morning to check on you – and we had a _really_ interesting conversation. He was very concerned about your wellbeing – and why wouldn’t he be? I have no idea how you’re still alive!”  
“Junior…” King Piccolo mumbled. He spat into the toilet and closed his eyes. What was she talking about…? Why had Junior been here? Come to think of it, King Piccolo couldn’t remember anything that had happened last night… He couldn’t remember anything that had happened after he’d left Goku’s house… What was going on!

King Piccolo frowned, and suddenly noticed that his top half felt different to his bottom. He looked down at his body to see that he’d rolled his gi down to his waist. His belt was loose, and he wasn’t wearing his shoes… What the hell? Also… King Piccolo looked over towards the bed in confusion. Why had he woken up there? Why wasn’t he in the chair…? “Did you sleep in the chair?” King Piccolo asked.  
“What?” Frikiza looked at him. “I slept in the bed.”  
“But… didn’t I sleep there…?” King Piccolo uttered. This didn’t make any sense… What shots of alcohol? Why had Junior been here? Why was he only half dressed!  
“Yeah… you did.” Frikiza stared at King Piccolo. “You really don’t remember?”  
“No, I…” King Piccolo trailed off, struggling to remember anything that had happened the day before. Okay… He’d woken up, then he’d met Junior… Then they were at the amusement park, and he’d had dinner at Goku’s house, then he’d said goodbye to Junior, then he and Frikiza had come back here, she’d given him a bracelet – which he was still wearing. King Piccolo looked down at the bracelet on his wrist, using it as a memory prompt. He’d thought it was pointless, so he went to sleep… in the chair! He **did** sleep in the chair! He remembered doing it! So how did he end up in the bed…? In the bed with… Oh… 

King Piccolo’s eyes widened. He’d… he’d had that dream! He’d had that dream, and he’d gone to the bar… Yes. Yes, he did drink – and Junior was there! Why was Junior there…? King Piccolo couldn’t remember. He rubbed his head, forcing his memories of the night before to come out of hiding. He remembered being in an elevator with Junior… then where did Junior go after that? He wasn’t in this room, was he? King Piccolo didn’t remember being in the room with Junior. The next thing he remembered was getting into bed with Frikiza, then… “Ohhh…” King Piccolo groaned as the events of last night suddenly came flooding back to him. “Oh… **shit**!” 

Frikiza frowned when King Piccolo started violently throwing up into the toilet.  
“Hey!” She yelled, insulted. “Do you have to react like that! I washed your stupid dragonballs!”  
“The dragonballs!” King Piccolo gasped. He turned to Frikiza, his eyes suddenly wide with panic. “Where are they!”  
“Under the pillow, where you left them!” Frikiza snapped. “Hey!” She cried out when King Piccolo raced towards her and violently pushed her out of the way to dive onto the bed. He retrieved the dragonballs and wasted no time in swallowing them. “The least you could do is thank me!” Frikiza yelled.  
“Thank you?” King Piccolo roared. Was she serious? Was she actually _serious_? “You slept with me!”  
“No I didn’t!” Frikiza argued. “I could have slept with you – you were literally _begging_ me to sleep with you, but I didn’t! Because I knew you would regret it and I didn’t want to do that to you! And on top of that, I washed **puke** off your stupid dragonballs!”  
“You did sleep with me!” King Piccolo snarled. “You shared a bed with me and went to sleep, how is that not sleeping with me!”  
“I had no choice, you climbed on top of me.” Frikiza hissed.  
“Oh – whatever! You’re always going on about how much stronger than me you are, why didn’t you just push me off!” King Piccolo snapped. She was unbelievable. What nerve! What insolence! How dare she take advantage of him like that! And when he had food poisoning, of all things! She was **not** a good person!  
“Because I just wanted you to go to sleep and get the night over with!” Frikiza pouted.

King Piccolo was speechless, too enraged to utter a single word. What could even he say to that? Did she really think that she, a mere bleeding heart weakling icejin, was justified in sleeping beside **him** , the great Demon King Piccolo? How was he supposed to react to this? He’d shared a bed with Frikiza. _Frikiza_! And… oh God, he remembered now… He’d kissed her. He’d actually – ew! **Disgusting**! “Anyway, we have to check out in twenty minutes, so are you done being hungover?” Frikiza sniped.  
“I am **not** hungover!” King Piccolo screamed. “Goku’s wife gave me food poisoning! It’s the only reason I – we –” His face darkened; he couldn’t even say it; it was too revolting! “It’s the only reason that – that last night happened! She drugged me!”  
“Oh Piccolo, shut up.” Frikiza spat. “You had thirty one shots of alcohol last night, you were so drunk that Junior had to escort you back to your room – you were so drunk that he had to open the room for you because you couldn’t get the key in the door!” She watched as King Piccolo paused for a moment. His eyes moved as he tried to recall the events of last night, and a sudden rage flooded his face.  
“I had food poisoning!” King Piccolo exclaimed. “Listen to me, you insolent little lizard – I was **not** drunk. I am the great Demon King Piccolo, and the great Demon King Piccolo does not get drunk!” He glared at Frikiza. “Why do you think I’m vomiting! It’s a classic symptom of food poisoning!”  
“And also of being hungover.” Frikiza replied.  
“I am _not_ –” King Piccolo suddenly retched, and raced into the bathroom again. Frikiza clenched her fists and tapped her foot in annoyance at the sound of him vomiting. Then there was another sound, like something hitting a surface… like _dragonballs_ hitting a surface… Oh, he did _**not**_ … “Frikiza.” King Piccolo’s voice confirmed Frikiza’s worst fear. If he even _thought_ about asking her to – “Come and clean these dragonballs.”  
“Fuck you!” Frikiza screamed and flung her tail at King Piccolo, knocking him out cold.

XXXXX

_Slurp. Scrape. Munch._ King Piccolo shook as every single sound of Frikiza eating her breakfast thundered though his head like an avalanche.  
“Can you… stop eating so loudly…?” He hissed through gritted teeth, clutching his head as he sat opposite her in a restaurant that served breakfast all day.  
“I’m not eating loudly.” Frikiza replied flatly. She wasn’t. She was barely making any noise at all, he was just sensitive to it.  
“Well then just stop eating.” King Piccolo seethed. He grabbed his glass of water and downed it, just as he had downed the other ten glasses before it. He let out a sigh and rubbed his head.  
“You should start.” Frikiza said, moving her eyes to the food on his plate, which was barely touched. King Piccolo clenched his fists in anger, pushing his knuckles into his skull. Was she trying to mock him? He wanted to eat, he was starving! But every time he took a bite he felt sick… What the hell had Goku’s wife put in that food!  
“I’m not hungry.” King Piccolo growled.  
“That doesn’t matter. If you eat your hangover will go away quicker.” Frikiza said.  
“I’m _not_ –”  
“Then your food poisoning.” Frikiza sighed, rolling her eyes. “Trust me. It’ll help.”  
“… If I puke, I’m puking on you.” King Piccolo muttered. He grabbed his fork, and reluctantly started eating his food. Ugh… he could barely keep it down. This was hell…

Frikiza’s eyes softened, and she looked at him.  
“You’ve never had ‘food poisoning’ before, have you?” She asked sympathetically.  
“No!” King Piccolo barked. “And stop looking at me like that! I don’t need your pity – don’t think I’ve forgiven you for last night!”  
“Okay, I’m going to ask you this one last time – what the **hell** do I have to be sorry for?” Frikiza demanded. “I should be the one that’s mad at you – do you know you tried to rape me last night?”  
“Oh, don’t be ridiculous.” King Piccolo scoffed, pouring himself another glass of water from the jug that had been left on the table. “I didn’t do anything of the sort.”  
“Piccolo. You wanted to have sex, I said no, and you carried on trying anyway. That’s the definition of rape.” Frikiza stated.  
“Then you should be thanking me. You’re into that, aren’t you?” King Piccolo sniped. Frikiza had to force herself to not blow up this entire building. How could he say that? How could he even think of saying something as arrogant and as stupid as that! She was livid. Absolutely _livid_!  
“I’m not answering you.” Frikiza snapped.  
“You just did.” King Piccolo smirked, relishing in his first victory of the day. Finally, something he could be happy about!

Frikiza to shake with rage. How dare me! The arrogant, disgusting…   
“You know – if anybody finds out about last night, I’m going to get fired.” Frikiza hissed. “And there are some people who _do_ appreciate the work I do for them, so you just fucked over a lot of your cellmates.”  
“Why cares?” King Piccolo grunted. “I hope you get fired. Then you can leave.”  
“Well if I do get fired, I’ll make sure every single person in hell knows _exactly_ why.” Frikiza narrowed her eyes at King Piccolo and smirked spitefully, causing him to stop eating and stare at her.  
“You wouldn’t…” King Piccolo seethed.  
“Yeah I would.” Frikiza winked. “Remember, I’m Frieza.”  
“… … This stays between us.” King Piccolo said sternly. “Nobody needs to know.”  
“Fine.” Frikiza shrugged. “But you’re going to have a counselling session with me every day for the next three months – and you’re going to attending meetings on a daily basis.”  
“What!” King Piccolo cried. “No! I am **not** –”  
“You want everyone to know what happened?” Frikiza threatened.  
“… … Bitch.” King Piccolo spat. Frikiza giggled.   
“Sorry.” She smirked.  
“No you’re not.” King Piccolo snarled.  
“You’re right.”

King Piccolo watched as Frikiza picked up her drink and raised her straw to her lips, looking at him triumphantly as she sipped. That bitch…  
“I hate you.” King Piccolo stated.  
“I’m sorry.” Frikiza replied. “I’m finding it hard to believe you now.”  
“I told you, I was **poisoned**!” King Piccolo yelled, banging his clenched fist on the table. “Do you really think I would have come anywhere near you if I wasn’t!”  
“No.” Frikiza said. “And I told you – that’s why I didn’t do it.”  
“… You mean you would have?” King Piccolo uttered, suddenly taken aback. Really…? If she thought he wouldn’t regret it, would she…?  
“Um…” Frikiza blushed slightly. “Well…”  
“There you two are!” Oh, thank God. 

Frikiza sighed inwardly, grateful for the distraction when she heard Fortune-teller Baba’s voice. She turned her head and looked at the woman that had appeared at their table.  
“Baba.” Frikiza greeted her. “Has it calmed down?”   
“Yes.” Baba nodded. “Everything’s back to normal – you can come back to hell now. Sorry about the trouble, Frikiza.”  
“Oh, it’s no trouble.” Frikiza smiled. “He wasn’t hard to deal with.”  
“Really…?” Baba uttered, looking at King Piccolo sceptically. _“It certainly looked hard…”_ She moved her eyes to Frikiza. “Uh… by the way… once he’s back in hell, King Yemma wants to see you.”  
“Oh… really?” Frikiza uttered. Dammit… she was afraid of this. Had he found out? Shit! “Do you know what about?”  
“Let’s just get him back first.” Baba smiled, and looked at King Piccolo. She stared at him for a long moment. He looked a mess. His eyes were sunken, his antennae were drooping, he looked tired and dehydrated… It was a classic hangover. “You know,” Baba began. “I always find that sports drinks help me when I’m hungover.”  
“Dammit, I am **not** hungover!” King Piccolo roared, causing the entire restaurant to shake.

XXXXX

Meanwhile back in hell the Cell Juniors were finally contained inside a prison cell. They held themselves against the bars of their cell, putting their arms through the gaps to reach out to their enraged father. Cell was screaming at the top of his lungs and flailing wildly, desperately trying to fight off Frieza, Zarbon and Dodoria, who were all holding him down.  
“Dammit guys, get off me or I will **destroy** you!” He roared.  
“Cell, settle down! It’s just for three days!” Dodoria protested. “If you’re so against them being locked up then why didn’t you just raise havoc yourself?”  
“Because I never thought these monsters would be sick enough to lock away children!” Cell yelled, and glared at the hell guards who had just locked the Juniors away. “What the hell is wrong with you!”  
“What are you talking about, Oni?” One of the guards questioned. “When you were alive you killed thousands of children.”  
“Yeah, so what! None of them were my children! Nobody messes with my children!” Cell screamed, and powered up so much it threw Dodoria and Zarbon off him, leaving only Frieza to barely cling onto Cell’s back.  
“Would you calm down!” Frieza snapped, glaring at Cell angrily. “It’s three days Cell, it’s hardly a lifetime! And if you ask me it’ll do them good – those runts of yours are running wild, they need discipline!”  
“And you think this is a good way to do it!” Cell argued, shaking Frieza off him. He stared down at the icejin with fury in his eyes, amazed at how Frieza could condone this. “Locking them up like animals? Taking them away from their home – their _father_?”  
“You make it sound like it’s a terrible thing.” Frieza shrugged. “I know a child that was taken from his home and father, and it was for more than three days – he spent his entire life imprisoned away from his home, and he turned out alright.”  
“Really…?” Cell uttered, calming down a little. “Who was that?” He asked.  
“Vegeta.” Frieza answered.   
“ _ **Vegeta**_!” Cell shrieked, powering up again. “Are you fucking kidding me, Frieza! _Vegeta_? He’s the most mentally unstable person I know!”  
“Must be where Cell gets it from…” Dodoria mumbled to Zarbon.  
“Mm-hm.” Zarbon nodded in agreement, watching as Cell became so enraged his eyes almost popped out of his skull.  
“Oh, relax.” Frieza sighed, waving a hand. “Vegeta may have a few loyalty issues, but he turned out far better than his father – and it’s because I took him away from King Vegeta.”  
“Frieza – I don’t give a rat’s ass how you think Vegeta turned out, I am **not** letting my Juniors spend three days in prison!” Cell yelled.  
“Oh, but think of how nice it’ll be without them.” Frieza smirked. “It’ll be like they’re spending a long weekend with their grandfather, and when they come back I guarantee they’ll be easier to control.”  
“But –”  
“Ah-ah.” Frieza narrowed his eyes at Cell. “How often do I tell you that you spoil those children? I keep telling you Cell, you’re their father, not their friend. It’s your responsibility to make sure they learn discipline – and this is your perfect opportunity.”

Cell hesitated for a moment, then looked over at the imprisoned Cell Juniors. They started back at him and stretched their arms through the bars of their prison, looking at Cell pleadingly.  
“Papa…” The Juniors whimpered. “Please – don’t leave us.”

Cell looked away and scrunched his eyes shut, trying to block out the sound of their desperate pleading. Their weak, helpless little voices echoed through his ears, seemingly getting louder with every second that passed.  
“Papa… Papa, please… help us. Help us, Papa…”  
“… _**No**_!” Cell wailed, snapping his eyes open. He stared at Frieza desperately, his eyes suddenly shimmering. “I can’t, Frieza! I can’t leave them there! Kids!” He raced over to the prison cell and grabbed the Juniors’ hands. “I’ll get you out of here – I promise!”  
“No!” Frieza snapped. He wrapped his tail around Cell’s waist and yanked him away from the Juniors. “This is for your own good Cell, and theirs. Trust me, one day you will all thank me for this.” He looked over at Zarbon and Dodoria, and motioned for them to go home. They nodded and flew off towards Frieza’s cave with Frieza following, dragging a reluctant Cell behind him.  
“No! Frieza, please!” Cell begged. “You don’t understand! They aren’t like Kuriza, you can’t just discipline them all the time!”  
“Yes you can.” Frieza answered. “And we **will** – starting with that cage.”  
“No! _**No**_!” Cell wailed so loudly his voice could be heard all over hell.

XXXXX

Elsewhere in Otherworld, Frikiza was stood nervously in front of King Yemma’s desk, staring up at him. She had just escorted King Piccolo back to hell, and as instructed had immediately come here. Now… well, now she was expecting to get fired. Why else would King Yemma want to see her? He’d been pleased with her work up to now – she’d managed to purify a lot of souls. Hundreds of people were now spending their afterlife in heaven because of her and her colleagues. But… this was unacceptable. Frikiza didn’t have many rules to abide by, but this was one of them – under no circumstances was she to become romantically involved with any of her clients. She’d kissed King Piccolo. For whatever reason… She’d broken that rule, and now King Yemma wanted to speak to her. It couldn’t be about anything else, the timing was too perfect. Frikiza wasn’t even from this universe. She was only here on a temporary basis anyway – so why would King Yemma even hesitate to cut her time in this universe short? He wouldn’t right? What would be the point? He had to set an example to the other rehabilitation workers, after all. It made sense… Frikiza couldn’t blame him for it. Even so…

Frikiza clenched her fist slightly. Dammit! That stupid demon! Why did he have to get so drunk! Why did he have to – no. No, this wasn’t his fault. How could she even think it was? Frikiza scolded herself. This wasn’t King Piccolo’s fault, not at all. She had been sober and he had been drunk. He’d been vulnerable, and he’d had no idea what he was doing. She shouldn’t have kissed him. That was a bad move – it was wrong on every level. And when he’d advanced on her, Frikiza should have stopped him. She should have tried harder to keep him away… but she didn’t. In a way, she hadn’t wanted to. Goku and his family were right… She did like him. She hadn’t meant to, but… He was her type. He was tough and edgy, and strong, and tall, and good-looking… and he did have a sweet side, Frikiza knew it. She’d wanted to draw that side of him out – actually she’d kind of hoped that if she could rehabilitate someone as difficult as King Piccolo, then she would be allowed to stay in this universe for a few months longer. It hadn’t exactly worked out like that, though. She’d started working with him, and somehow she’d ended up… Like this. This was how she’d ended up. In front of King Yemma’s desk, about to get fired from a job that was probably saving her life right now… and all because she had a tiny crush on a stupid namekian demon!  
“Frikiza.” King Yemma uttered.  
“Yes!” Frikiza squealed, staring up at him.  
“Seems like you had fun on Earth, hm?” King Yemma narrowed his eyes at Frikiza. “You know you aren’t supposed to get involved with your clients.”  
“… I know.” Frikiza said quietly. It was just as she’d thought. She was getting fired. She would have to go back to her own universe, where her mother and sister were waiting for her, and she would have to spend the rest of her life on the run. Dammit. All Frikiza had wanted was to work in this universe for a couple more months. Just another couple of months of freedom, before she had to go home, back to that life… … Oh well. At least she’d had a small break. It wasn’t all bad. Frikiza still had a secret home back in her universe; her mother and sister hadn’t found it yet. That would give Frikiza some time, to find someplace safe to go. If there was even a safe place left in the universe…  
“Still, I’m surprised at him.” King Yemma mumbled, leaning his face into his palm. “In all the years that terror has been around, he’s never reacted to anyone the way he’s reacted to you.” He looked down at Frikiza. “You almost make it look like he can be controlled.”  
“Thank you.” Frikiza smiled slightly. Well, at least she’d done some good. Maybe he wouldn’t be quite so impossible for whoever was unfortunate enough to take him on next.  
“I never thought I’d see it.” King Yemma smirked. “But I think King Piccolo might actually like you.”  
“What?” Frikiza blinked. No… No, that was ridiculous! He didn’t… Did he?  
“Haha.” Fortune-teller Baba sniggered from beside Frikiza. “Well, I wouldn’t go that far, but there are certainly parts of her that he likes.” She looked at Frikiza and winked. “Wasn’t it your pyjamas?”  
“Um…” Frikiza started to blush. “Well… yeah, he did say that… but he was drunk. He didn’t mean it.” He didn’t, right? He didn’t… He didn’t mean that?  
“He wasn’t drunk this morning.” King Yemma stated. “And you still managed to get him to eat, and sit in a restaurant without blowing it up – and you got him to have dinner with _Goku_!” He stared down at Frikiza in amazement. “How the hell did you manage that?”  
“Well…” Frikiza’s cheeks turned even darker and she lowered her eyes modestly. “I don’t think it’s because he likes me, if that’s what you’re thinking.” She shrugged. “He knows I’m stronger than him. I think he felt more forced than persuaded, Sir.”  
“Hm. Maybe.” King Yemma grunted. “Even so. In this case, I think maybe we can make an exception to the rules.”  
“What?”

Frikiza stared at King Yemma in disbelief. What was he saying? Wait… did he mean…?  
“You like him, right?” King Yemma questioned.  
“Um…” Frikiza uttered, blushing again. She looked away. “Well…”  
“Oh come on Dear, don’t be shy.” Baba smirked. “To be honest I think you can do better, but the heart wants what it wants.” She smiled a little. “If you can tame that monster, the two of you might actually make a good couple.” She looked Frikiza up and down, and pictured King Piccolo before thinking to herself, _“Albeit a rather unattractive one…”_  
“If you can get him to like you, he’s yours.” King Yemma said.  
“What!” Frikiza gasped. “You… you mean…?”  
“Yep.” King Yemma nodded. “Date him, marry him. Whatever. Actually, if something does happen between you two it might actually mellow him out a little. You’d be doing Otherworld a favour.”

Frikiza was speechless. King Yemma was… He – he said she could… She could date Piccolo! _Piccolo_! The tall, strong, dreamy… Eep!   
“You seem happy.” Baba giggled, watching as a wide grin swept across Frikiza’s face. It was cute, after all. Baba had no idea what Frikiza saw in that monster though.  
“Oh – it’s stupid.” Frikiza uttered, trying to calm herself. “I’m sure he doesn’t like me anyway – I’m happy to continue as his counsellor but I don’t think anything will happen between us.” Right. Of course not. King Piccolo didn’t like her. No, he didn’t. He didn’t. … Did he? Did he really? King Yemma did say that Frikiza was the only that had even come close to controlling King Piccolo… Oh, but she was stronger than him! He **had** to listen to her – he had no choice! Then there was last night, after all… but he was drunk. That didn’t count – he was drunk! … But didn’t alcohol just bring out a person’s true self? All their secret thoughts, and desires…? Maybe King Piccolo wouldn’t admit to it when he was sober, but perhaps deep down he did like Frikiza… No! No way! Of course not. He didn’t. If he did he would have said so. He would have… wouldn’t he? Why wouldn’t he? What would he have to lose? Maybe he was shy, if he’d never been with a girl before… Oh – whatever! In any case, did this mean Frikiza was off the hook? “King Yemma,” Frikiza looked up at him. “Does this mean I can stay here?”  
“Yes – until your contract is up.” King Yemma nodded. “But listen.” He narrowed his eyes at Frikiza. “You can date King Piccolo. _Just_ King Piccolo. If you get involved with any of your other clients, you’re going home. Understand?”  
“Yes.” Frikiza beamed. “Thank you, Sir! I promise I won’t go near anyone else!”  
“Good.” King Yemma grunted.  
“Tch. Well, I still think you can do better.” Baba snorted. “But good luck with that ogre – just promise me you’ll bring out the good in him.” She smirked a little. “It’ll be worth it just to see the look on Frieza and Cell’s faces.”  
“Frieza and Cell?” Frikiza repeated, looking at Baba in confusion. “What do you mean?”  
“Oh come on, haven’t you worked it out yet?” Baba replied. “Why do you think they let those little pests run wild? They wanted to keep you and King Piccolo on Earth – long enough for something to happen.”  
“What?” Frikiza frowned. That didn’t make any sense. What concern was it of theirs? “Why do they care if anything happens?”  
“Well, I heard that Frieza’s hoping King Piccolo will corrupt you.” Baba answered. “You know what he’s like – he can’t bear to be related to somebody so nice. So do me a favour, Frikiza – _don’t_ get corrupted.”   
“Don’t worry, I won’t.” Frikiza replied sceptically. So that was it… It all made sense now. Even the honeymoon suite – that wasn’t a mistake made by the hotel staff, it was Frieza! It had to be! Somehow he’d tampered with Frikiza and King Piccolo’s reservation – and he’d been the mastermind behind last night! Frieza… That jerk! That meddling, shit-stirring little… Argh! Frikiza had to see him. She had to see him right **now**!

Frikiza looked up at King Yemma. “If there’s nothing else – could I please return to hell, Sir?”  
“Yeah sure go ahead, I’m busy anyway –”  
“Thank you!” King Yemma couldn’t speak another word before Frikiza darted out of the check-in station and headed for hell, disappearing in the blink of an eye.   
“Really.” Baba sighed, staring after her. “I wonder what Goku is like in her universe.”  
“Mm.” King Yemma nodded, returning to his paperwork. “If she’s like that, Goku is probably like Frieza.” He said, and he and Baba both shuddered at the thought of such a bizarre universe.


	13. Confessions and Memories

“Oh come on Cell, would you give it up already?” Frieza growled, watching in disapproval as Cell sulked in the corner. “I haven’t seen my son in years, how do you think I feel?”  
“Happy, I would imagine!” Cell snapped. “After all, you are always saying that if you ever saw that traitor again you would kill him with your bare hands.”  
“Well I would.” Frieza hissed and folded his arms angrily. “What sort of son doesn’t even attempt to avenge his own father?” He muttered.  
“Hey.” Dodoria interrupted them, staring out of the window of Frieza’s cave. “Frikiza’s coming.”  
“Oh, yippee.” Zarbon commented, rolling his eyes. “I’m sure she’ll lighten the mood around here.”  
“We’re not in, Dodoria.” Frieza instructed.  
“She isn’t going to believe that.” Dodoria replied. He looked at Frieza pleadingly. “Can I let her in?”  
“Sure.” Cell answered for Frieza. “She can tell us all about getting dry-humped by a deranged namek.”  
“Careful Cell, you almost sound jealous.” Zarbon said with a taunting smirk, and Cell glared at him.  
“ _ **Frieza**_!”

Frikiza’s voice caught the boys’ attention, and they all looked up to see Frikiza standing there with her arms folded and her tail waving from side to side, glaring angrily at the boys.  
“Wow. Frikiza – did you knock first?” Dodoria gasped, amazed that Frikiza would ever be rude enough to enter Frieza’s cave without permission.  
“Oh Lord Frieza, it worked!” Zarbon exclaimed. “He _has_ corrupted her.”  
“No he has **not**!” Frikiza screamed, her ki flaring up so wildly it made Frieza’s cave tremble. “That’s exactly what I wanted to talk to you about!” She turned on Frieza, her eyes burning with rage as she stared at him. “You!” Frikiza moved her gaze to Cell. “And you! In fact – all four of you! I can’t believe any of you would do this! You have **no** right to meddle in other people’s affairs! Do you have any idea how much damage you could have done? Oh – and FYI, I am **not** about to be corrupted, so all you idiots did was waste your time!”  
“Oh, oh the contrary.” Zarbon smirked. “We got some wonderful entertainment.”  
“Wh-What…?” Frikiza choked.  
“Mm-hm.” Frieza nodded. “Actually you should be thanking us – if it wasn’t for our ‘meddling’, you wouldn’t have had your fun with that big scary demon last night.”  
“Oh my God…” Frikiza whimpered, clasping her hands over her mouth as her eyes widened in horror. “You… you guys saw that?”  
“Saw it?” Zarbon snorted. “Dodoria had nightmares about it – and I’m sure your stepsons did as well.”  
“What!” Frikiza shrieked. “The – the boys saw it?”  
“Yeah…” Dodoria answered, looking at Frikiza sympathetically. “They were worried about King Piccolo, because he was wasted, so… they got a spy-screen and just watched it here. Then, uh…” He lowered his eyes. “We… all saw.”

Frikiza suddenly turned pale. All the anger in her body seemed to drain away as the reality of Dodoria’s words hit her. They saw it… They all saw it. The _mutants_ saw it! Shit! Frikiza grabbed her horns frantically and her tail quickened its steady pace as she thought about King Piccolo’s reaction.  
“Oh my God…” She whimpered. “He’ll go crazy –” She looked at Frieza and his companions desperately. “Did anybody else see it?”  
“Not last night.” Zarbon answered. “But everyone saw the night before – when you had your little bondage session in that chair.”  
“What do you mean, ‘everyone’?” Frikiza seethed, her rage suddenly building up again.  
“I mean _everyone_.” Zarbon replied, and started listing the people that had watched Frikiza and King Piccolo’s first night in the honeymoon suite on hell’s giant viewing orb. “Us, the guards, Bibidi and Babidi, King Piccolo’s mutants, King Vegeta – actually most of planet Vegeta… King Kold, Coola –”  
“King Kold and Coola!” Frikiza screamed. “My – my family? My family were spying on me sharing a hotel room with Piccolo!”  
“They’re not your family.” Frieza growled. “And it wasn’t like I invited them…”  
“Hehe.” Dodoria sniggered. “Actually Coola thought you were pretty hot, Frikiza –”  
“Silence!” Frieza hissed, cutting him off.

Frikiza stood stiff, with a look of horror on her face. This was horrible… It was humiliating – it was more than humiliating! The whole of hell had been spying on her – what if something had happened that first night? What if _last night_ had happened on that first night? Everybody would have seen it… And last night! Frieza and Cell, and Zarbon and Dodoria had seen it! And the boys… King Piccolo’s sons… Oh, God! What if King Piccolo found out they’d been watching? He would go berserk – actually, it would be worse than that! He would kill them! Literally – he would erase their existences!  
“I… I have to go.” Frikiza uttered. She glared at Frieza angrily. “You’d better pray he doesn’t find out, because if anyone’s going to suffer over this, I **guarantee** it’ll be you, Frieza!”  
“Ah, spoken like a true relative of mine.” Frieza smirked. “There. I knew that monster would be a good influence on you.”  
“ ** _Shut up_**!” Frikiza shrieked, and sent a ki wave charging at Frieza. It missed him by mere millimetres and crashed into the wall behind him, turning it into nothing more than ash. Frieza didn’t even have time to so much as blink before Frikiza was in front of him, clasping her tail around his throat. “You know what my one regret is when it comes to you?” She hissed. “That Goku didn’t spit on you before he kicked your ass into outer space! And that Trunks didn’t blow your ashes into a sewer! You belong down here, Robot Boy!” She yanked her tail off him and stormed out of the cave, leaving Frieza, Cell, Zarbon and Dodoria to remain there, dumbstruck. They stared at the pile of ash that had once been their wall with wide eyes, astonished that Frikiza could ever do such a thing.  
“… … Wow.” Dodoria finally uttered after a long pause. “That was… kind of an overreaction.”  
“That cucumber really has had quite the effect on her, hasn’t he?” Zarbon remarked. 

They looked at Frieza cautiously, and saw him sitting with his arms folded and a displeased look on his face.  
“She seems to have forgotten who she is speaking to.” Frieza growled.  
“I hope not.” Cell commented, finally cheered up enough to join in the conversation. He looked at Frieza and grinned. “She just made my day, ‘Robot Boy’.”  
“Fuck you, Cell.” Frieza muttered bitterly.

XXXXX

Back in King Piccolo’s cave his mutant namekian children were staring at their master as he sat in his chair, wondering whether or not they should tell him that they had witnessed his ‘moment’ with Frikiza.  
“What if he finds out we knew, and we didn’t say anything?” Tambourine whispered to his brothers. “He’ll think he can’t trust us – and he’ll definitely kill us!”  
“Yeah, but if we do mention it to him, he might think we’re mocking him and kill us anyway.” Cymbal replied.  
“Guys… do you think there’s any situation at all where we don’t end up dead?” Drum questioned. The three of them all looked at Piano for his wisdom, and he hung his head glumly.  
“I’m… not sure.” Piano sighed. 

The mutants all suddenly jumped as what felt like an earthquake erupted out of nowhere, and they spun around to see King Piccolo glared at them, his fist slammed onto the arm of his throne.  
“You fools! I can hear you!” King Piccolo roared, causing the mutants to all wail and tremble in fear.  
“K-King Piccolo!” Piano stammered. “We’re sorry – you have to believe us! We didn’t mean to watch – we were just concerned about you!”  
“Yeah, after Goku’s wife gave you food poisoning, we wanted to make sure you got home okay – because we didn’t trust Junior either!” Tambourine added.  
“Uh-huh!” Drum nodded. “We didn’t know you were going to try anything with Frikiza!”

The other mutants froze on the spot, and stared at Drum.  
“Why… did you say that?” Piano hissed.  
“Idiot!” Cymbal snarled.  
“Shut up all of you!” King Piccolo boomed, his face darkening. “That isn’t what happened!” Oh, this was humiliating… They’d seen it! They’d seen the whole thing! Who else knew? Had they told anyone? No… No, they wouldn’t. They were his children after all; they knew him better than anybody. They wouldn’t be foolish enough to tell anybody what they had seen. Still… It was a risk King Piccolo wasn’t willing to take. He had to guarantee they would not breathe a word. 

King Piccolo rose to his feet and stepped towards the mutants. He towered over them and stared down at the mutants menacingly. “Listen, Boys…” He began. “You are my children, so I am going to give you _one_ chance to listen. Everything you thought you saw, forget about it. I was poisoned by Goku’s wife, and everything that _didn’t_ happen between me and Frikiza… well, she’s going to get fired for it.” A smirk formed across King Piccolo’s lips and he looked at the mutants triumphantly. “So, everything worked out for the best, didn’t it? And you can thank me for ensuring that she will be permanently out of our lives.”  
“Wh-What!” The mutants gasped.  
“You got Frikiza fired?” Tambourine choked.  
“But – but we liked Frikiza!” Drum whined. “King Piccolo! How could you –” He stopped talking when he noticed a dark anger steadily forming in King Piccolo’s eyes as the demon king glared down at Drum, warning him to cease his objection. “Uh… Well done, Sire…” Drum mumbled timidly.  
“Yes!” Piano beamed. “I should have known – that was your plan all along, wasn’t it? To get Frikiza fired! And to ensure we… never see her again…” He lowered his eyes, trying his best to hide his disappointment, but failing miserably. “Oh, how wonderful…”  
“Yeah… wonderful…” Cymbal mumbled.  
“You boys don’t seem all that thrilled.” King Piccolo commented, narrowing his eyes at them. What, did they like Frikiza? _Why_? She was a pest!  
“Oh – we are!” Piano protested, holding his hands up defensively. “It’s just a surprise, that’s all! But a good one!”  
“Yeah – we’re really happy, King Piccolo – honest!” Tambourine nodded. 

King Piccolo stared down at his minions, studying their faces. Hm… They were lying, weren’t they? They were sad to see Frikiza go. Tch. Pathetic. Had those rehabilitation classes really done this much damage to his children? They were turning into saps! He’d have to toughen them up. Still, on the plus side… it didn’t look like they were going to say anything about what happened – not that King Piccolo thought they would be stupid enough to do so. All he had to do was beat them around a little, and restore them to their former evil selves.  
“No more classes for you.” King Piccolo said. “And you’re going to attack the rehabilitation centre.”  
“What?” Piano blinked. “But Sire – if we do that, how will we earn chocolate?”  
“Don’t earn it, steal it!” King Piccolo snapped. “What the hell is wrong with you! We aren’t good people! We’re demons, and we don’t need anybody in our lives that isn’t a criminal or a monster, do you understand! We don’t need people like Frikiza – in fact, she is the _last_ person we should ever want to see again! Do I make myself clear!”  
“Yes, King Piccolo…” The mutants chanted obediently.  
“Good.” King Piccolo grunted, and returned to his chair. “Now. I want to celebrate – go to Frieza’s cave and steal some of his wine.”  
“What!” The mutants shrieked.  
“But – if he catches us doing that he’ll kill us!” Piano cried. King Piccolo looked at Piano, and smirked.  
“So don’t get caught.” He said.  
“But –”  
“Hey, look!” Drum gasped, pointing to the cave’s entrance. “It’s Frikiza!”  
“Huh?” King Piccolo uttered. 

He and the mutants all looked up to see Frikiza racing towards them. She darted into King Piccolo’s cave and landed in front of the mutants, looking at them with a relieved expression on her face.  
“Thank God you’re okay…” Frikiza sighed. She looked at King Piccolo. “I thought you were going to kill them. They saw us, you know.”  
“Yeah… I know. They won’t tell anybody…” King Piccolo uttered, staring at Frikiza in bewilderment. “… Hey!” He barked, suddenly becoming angry. “What the hell are you doing here? You’re supposed to be fired!” He started to smirk. “Or did you come to say goodbye to the boys? They’re quite fond of you, you know. You’ve destroyed my children!”  
“I didn’t destroy anybody!” Frikiza argued. “But…” She smiled at the mutants. “You guys like me?”  
“Uh…” The mutants all blushed.  
“Well… you’re always really nice to us…” Cymbal answered bashfully.  
“Aw…” Frikiza smiled. She looked at King Piccolo. “But – they know what happened, and you didn’t try to kill them? … … That’s nice.” She looked at King Piccolo warmly. “I knew you cared about them.”  
“What! No I don’t!” King Piccolo snapped. “Here, I’ll prove it!” He rose to his feet again and pointed a ki ball at the mutants, causing them to scream.  
“Hey! Frikiza – shut the hell up!” Tambourine yelled. “Are you trying to get us killed!”  
“Don’t worry, he won’t kill you. You’re his flesh and blood.” Frikiza replied, and calmly approached King Piccolo. She placed her hands on his palm, and dispersed the ki ball herself. “Stop overreacting to everything.”  
“I am _**not**_ – what the hell are you even doing here!” King Piccolo demanded, his entire body shaking with rage. “You’re supposed to be fired!”  
“I know – when Baba told me to see King Yemma, I thought I was getting fired too.” Frikiza nodded. “But… it turns out he um…” She blushed slightly. “He just… wanted to extend my permissions here…”  
“What are you talking about?” King Piccolo growled. “What permissions?”  
“Well, um…” Frikiza looked away, her cheeks darkening even more. “Obviously, he saw what happened and um… he… he said that, just on this occasion it would be okay for me to… date a client.”

King Piccolo froze. What? What the hell…? Why was she telling him that? And why would King Yemma say that to her, after last night…? … Oh. Oh, no… No no _**no**_! This was **not** happening! “So, I was wondering…” Frikiza continued. No… No Frikiza, do _not_ finish that sentence. “Do you…” Frikiza looked up at King Piccolo, and smiled a little. “Do you want to date…?”  
“ _ **Aiiii**_!” The mutants all squealed, their cheeks turning purple.  
“Oh my God – Frikiza, are you asking King Piccolo to be your boyfriend?” Tambourine gasped.  
“Yeah, she totally is!” Cymbal exclaimed, excitedly yanking Tambourine into a headlock.  
“Oh – King Piccolo, say yes!” Piano begged. “We love Frikiza!”  
“Yeah – please date her! She’ll make our lives so much better!” Drum beamed.

King Piccolo stood in silence, staring down at Frikiza. No… No, why was she asking him that! Was she really expecting him to say yes? How could she possibly think, for even a second, that he could ever want to date the likes of **her**! A good-natured, bossy, naïve, foolish, bleeding heart lizard sap! No way! He was **not** interested in her! Didn’t she understand that? He’d had food poisoning! _Food poisoning_!  
“ _ **Silence**_!” King Piccolo roared, firing a ki blast at his mutant sons. They all screamed and leapt out of the way, and stared at King Piccolo with wide eyes.  
“Sorry, King Piccolo!” They cried. King Piccolo ignored them. He would deal with those idiots later; right now he had to deal with **her**!  
“No!” King Piccolo snapped, glaring down at Frikiza. “Frikiza – listen to me, you stupid little runt! I don’t like you! Last night I was poisoned, that is the only reason I ever came near you! I don’t want to date you and I never will – and you’re a fool for even asking! Do you understand?”  
“… Perfectly.” 

Frikiza answered quietly, her face softening and her tail falling to a heap on the ground. He’d… He’d said no. … Well, it was just like she’d thought. He wasn’t interested in her. Why would he be? She was too nice for him, after all. He didn’t like nice people, right? So… why would he like her? … It was stupid. It was stupid of her to even ask, and even more stupid of her to think that he could possibly want to date her. … Oh well. At least she’d asked… That was something, right? Maybe he could learn to be nicer, if he knew that it was possible for someone to like him. Maybe she hadn’t just made a fool of herself for no reason…

The mutant nameks stared at Frikiza with wide eyes and dropped jaws, appalled at how their master could speak to Frikiza so cruelly.  
“K… King Piccolo.” Piano choked. He turned his eyes to the demon king. “Did you have to be so blunt?”  
“Yeah… that was mean.” Tambourine mumbled.  
“Tch. And you boys care about that?” King Piccolo grunted, glaring at them. What was wrong with them? Since when were they so concerned about other people’s feelings? This was pathetic! “What has she done to you?”  
“A lot of good, by the looks of it.” Frikiza pouted. She looked at the mutants, and offered them a smile. “It’s okay – don’t worry about it.” Frikiza said. “I didn’t think he would say yes…” She turned to King Piccolo and smirked. “You only like me when you’re drunk, right?”  
“I was **not** drunk!” King Piccolo yelled. “How many times do I need to tell you!”  
“As many as you want, I still won’t believe you.” Frikiza shrugged. “Anyway.” She straightened herself up and folded her arms, regaining her composure. “I’m still your counsellor whatever happens, and you need to have a session. So let’s go.”  
“No!” King Piccolo snapped. “I’m not doing any more of those things!”  
“But you said you would!” Frikiza argued.  
“I said I would on the condition that nobody found out about last night – and they know about it!” King Piccolo growled, pointing at the mutants.  
“And if you don’t have your sessions, everybody else in hell will know about it as well.” Frikiza replied, narrowing her eyes at him.

King Piccolo paused. That bitch… She would tell everyone, wouldn’t she? He could see it in her eyes. She would love to tell everyone down here every last detail. The **bitch**!  
“I hate you.” King Piccolo snarled. “Do you really think this is going to make me date you? You aren’t earning my affections, Frikiza, far from it. Every word you say makes me despise you.”  
“Fine.” Frikiza shrugged. “I’ll be outside. I’ll give you five minutes to follow me, and then for every minute you take after that I’ll tell someone all about last night –”  
“Shut up, I’m coming!” King Piccolo barked. He looked at the mutants, and they trembled at the anger in his eyes. He was furious! “While I’m gone, make yourselves useful and get that wine – and some chocolate.” King Piccolo ordered.  
“But… Sire, how are we supposed to –” Piano stopped in mid-sentence when King Piccolo’s gaze turned even more deadly, and his eyes glowed with venom. “… Yes, Sire.” Piano whimpered.

King Piccolo grunted and walked past the mutants, heading for the cave’s entrance.  
“Come on!” He snarled at Frikiza and nudged her harshly, almost knocking her over. “But you’re wasting your time. I’m not about to become a saint.”  
“Well Junior made a pretty good job of it.” Frikiza replied.  
“Do **not** mention Junior!” King Piccolo roared, causing everything within a five mile radius to fall to the ground. 

XXXXX

Frikiza tapped her tail in annoyance as she sat opposite King Piccolo, who had been sitting in silence for the last five minutes.  
“This again?” Frikiza hissed. “ _Seriously_?” She narrowed her eyes at King Piccolo, who simply smirked back. The jerk. “Fine.” Frikiza huffed. “If you won’t talk, then I will.” She looked at King Piccolo. “Why are you so hard on Junior? He’s a credit to you. His power alone is something that you should be proud of.” She watched as King Piccolo started to tense. He was becoming annoyed. It was working… “And he is a nice guy. So honest and caring, not to mention that he’s so smart – I mean, he was pretty smart to begin with, but fusing with Kami really did wonders for him, right?” Frikiza listened as a low growl started to escape from King Piccolo’s throat. Good. Almost… “And he’s such a good friend. He’s so kind, and loyal –”  
“ _ **Loyal**_!” King Piccolo erupted, unable to hold his tongue any more. “He betrayed me! How is that loyal! He’s a traitor!”

Frikiza smirked triumphantly for a brief second, then began to formulate a response.  
“Yeah, right.” She said. “Your ‘traitor’ son came out in the middle of the night to carry you back home when you were so ‘poisoned’ that you couldn’t even walk – and this morning he came by to make sure you were okay!” Frikiza folded her arms and let out a sigh. “I wish people were that nice to me when they betrayed me.”  
“Hm?” King Piccolo looked at her. Betrayed her…? Who had betrayed her? … Hm. Come to think of it, why was Frikiza even in this universe? She was Frieza, wasn’t she? Didn’t she have her own empire in her own universe? Even if she wasn’t in the same line of work as Frieza, she came from a wealthy family, did she not? She must have a small fortune of her own… Maybe she’d lost it. Maybe it had been stolen from her! “Who betrayed you?” King Piccolo asked, suddenly interested in Frikiza’s history. Maybe it would be interesting enough to entertain him for a while.  
“Huh? Oh…” Frikiza uttered, realising what she’d said. “No – nobody betrayed me… but I’m just saying, if anybody was to betray me, it’d be nice if they could be like Junior. He’s a great kid – you should be proud of him.”  
“Tch!” King Piccolo snorted. “Don’t give me that. Do you think I’m an idiot?” He narrowed his eyes at Frikiza and smirked. “You didn’t say that by accident, did you? You were betrayed, weren’t you? Is that why you’re in this universe? Who was it?” His smirk grew wider as he watched Frikiza. She was becoming uncomfortable… Perfect. He was touching a nerve. Haha! “Now that I think of it,” King Piccolo continued mercilessly. “You didn’t bring your mother and sister with you, did you? Frieza seems to be rather close to his family, and yet you’ve never so much as mentioned yours. Why would that be?”  
“Stop it.” Frikiza hissed. “This isn’t about me – it’s about you.”  
“Oh, don’t let me get all the attention.” King Piccolo replied, his mood becoming greater by the second as he watched Frikiza become more and more agitated. “Go on, my dear. Why don’t you tell me all about it?” He narrowed his eyes at Frikiza and grinned menacingly, relishing in her agony. “What did your mother and sister do to you?”

Frikiza hesitated, and bit her lip. She didn’t know what to say. She was debating whether or not she should even answer him at all. It wasn’t like he didn’t have a right to know… After all she was trying to get him to talk about his personal life, so it was only fair that she should do the same… But he wasn’t interested. Frikiza knew he wasn’t. He was just being a jerk! He was just trying to irritate her. He didn’t really want to know about her family; he couldn’t care less! … But… maybe she could use that. If she turned it into a game of give and take, maybe she could get him to at least talk a little; she wouldn’t have to tell him much – it wouldn’t even have to be the truth. … Okay. Fine. Frikiza looked at King Piccolo.  
“If I talk about my family, will you talk about yours?” She asked.  
“You already know enough about Junior.” King Piccolo growled.  
“I suppose I do.” Frikiza said. “So… tell me about your father instead.”  
“My father?” King Piccolo repeated. His father…? He didn’t even remember his father! There was nothing to tell. … Ha. Well, that was perfect. King Piccolo would extract all of Frikiza’s deepest, darkest secrets, and put her through the shame and humiliation of explaining how she came to be betrayed by her own family, and he would be able to tell her nothing in return. It sounded like a wonderful arrangement! “Alright, deal.” King Piccolo agreed, and looked at Frikiza sternly. “Talk.” 

King Piccolo watched Frikiza, eagerly awaiting her story. Oh, this would be good. Frieza’s brother and father were bloodthirsty lunatics; King Piccolo could only imagine what their female counterparts had put Frikiza through – and more to the point, what had she done to deserve it? Perhaps she had betrayed them first. Oh, please let it be that. That would be divine!  
“Well… My mother and sister aren’t the traitors.” Frikiza said. “… I am.” Oh, _perfect_! King Piccolo couldn’t believe his luck. He didn’t think Frikiza would actually say that! How could this possibly be? How could the sweet, innocent, pure-hearted Frikiza be nothing more than a filthy traitor? How humiliating!  
“What did you do?” King Piccolo demanded eagerly.  
“I stopped killing people.”  
“… What?”

King Piccolo looked at Frikiza in confusion. Stopped killing people…? How was that betraying them? Was Frikiza working as an assassin for them?  
“You know the line of work Frieza’s in, right?” Frikiza began. “The Planet Trade Organisation?” She watched King Piccolo nod, and continued. “Well, I was in it as well – and so were my mother and sister. They still are.”  
“So you had your own empire?” King Piccolo uttered.  
“Yes.” Frikiza nodded. “Technically, I still do – I just haven’t expanded it in a few years… but, once upon a time, I was just as bad as Frieza. Blowing up planets, enslaving races, killing people…” She smirked a little. “Believe me, you think you’re bad? Whatever you did to Earth, I did to hundreds of thousands of planets all over the galaxy. Your little horror show is nothing compared to what Frieza and I used to get up to.”  
“Is that right?” King Piccolo snorted. Well… maybe she had conquered more worlds than him, but he could still torture her. He knew just what to say to irritate her. “It’s fun, isn’t it?” King Piccolo said with a smirk. Oh, she would hate that… Haha!  
“Yeah. It is.” 

King Piccolo’s eyes widened. He hadn’t expected her to say that. What the hell? Was she mocking him? How dare she! “It makes you feel alive, right?” Frikiza uttered. “Having an entire planet under your control, knowing that you get to decide whether someone lives or dies… watching them do whatever they can to please you, because they think it’ll make you spare them.” Oh God… she was describing it perfectly! And her eyes… King Piccolo could see it in Frikiza’s eyes. She was being deadly serious. She meant every word she said. She… She _enjoyed_ hurting people! She enjoyed ruling with terror! She was – she was like him! What the hell!  
“So why did you stop?” King Piccolo demanded. “Why are you bothering with this counselling nonsense? We both know you want to be terrorising a world somewhere.”  
“No, I don’t. Seriously.” Frikiza replied. “Not anymore.” She looked at him. “I used to enjoy it while I was doing it – but literally, _only_ while I was doing it. As soon as it was over…” She lowered her eyes and her face darkened, as if she were ashamed. “As soon as it was over, I hated myself. All I could do was think about all those people, and how they didn’t deserve to die… It was disgusting.” Frikiza shivered and winced, almost gagging as she pictured her old life. “I tried not to feel bad, but… no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t stop regretting everything I did, as soon as I did it. So eventually, I guess it… it kind of stopped being worth it. I didn’t want to feel that way anymore.” She sighed. “I told my mother I was leaving the business, and she… got a little mad.” Frikiza smiled slightly, and looked at King Piccolo. “The thing is – icejins are sexist. Men are expected to go out and work, earn money, fight for survival – literally fight. In our culture, the strongest man wins. You only stay alive for as long as you can fight away anyone that tries to take what you have.” She shrugged. “But women, we don’t have to do any of that. We’re just supposed to stay at home and marry the best man we can. We’re not even supposed to fight. So for my mother to build her empire, it was a huge thing. It took a lot of courage, and power, and bravery, and a lot of men have tried to kill her for it. So… when I told her that I was going to turn my back on it all, she wasn’t exactly pleased.”  
“I bet she wasn’t…” King Piccolo mumbled. Of course she wasn’t. Frikiza’s mother was completely right! King Piccolo would be furious if he spent his life building his empire, only for one of his children to betray it. How dare Frikiza do that! She had no right!  
“Well, I guess she still cared about me a little.” Frikiza shrugged. “Because she gave me the chance to run. Just once chance, though. She gave me a head start, but she and my sister are looking for me, and if they ever find me, they’ll kill me. So… that’s why I’m working in hell. I’m hiding – for a couple more months, hopefully.”

King Piccolo paused. This was insane… What was _wrong_ with Frikiza? She had an empire – she had **Frieza’s** empire in her own universe, and the empires of her mother and sister, and all the power and wealth she could ever imagine, and she had just walked out on it? And why, because she felt bad about hurting people? That was pathetic! How could anyone be foolish enough to throw all of that away just for the sake of having a pure heart? It was ridiculous! It was _repulsive_!  
“You’re an idiot.” King Piccolo snarled. “Do you know what the people down here would give to have as much as you?”  
“I know.” Frikiza smiled. “But it’s not worth it.”  
“It is worth it!” King Piccolo yelled. “You could have had everything in the universe! Who the hell cares if you have to kill a few people to get it? That’s life! It’s the way of the world – get used to it!”  
“It was more than just a few people!” Frikiza argued. “And the world doesn’t have to be like that – and if having everything I want means I have to terrorise people, then I’d rather not have it!”  
“You’re a fool.” King Piccolo spat.  
“No I’m not!” Frikiza frowned. “Think about it – say I did carry on with that life. Sure, I’d have everything I wanted – in that lifetime. Then what about when I died? I would come down here, and it would be for all eternity. Do you really think a few years of having everything are worth an eternity in hell? Because I don’t!”  
“So find the dragonballs and wish for eternal youth, then you’ll never have to go to hell!” King Piccolo protested.  
“What, like you did?” Frikiza narrowed her eyes at him.  
“… Shut up!” King Piccolo barked. Dammit, that stupid little icejin! She always had an answer, didn’t she? She always had to have the last say! She couldn’t just be quiet and surrender – like an icejin woman was supposed to! The irritating little bitch!  
“Anyway.” Frikiza broke King Piccolo out of his thoughts. “I’ve told you about my parent. Now you tell me about yours.”

King Piccolo smirked. Ha. Well, she wouldn’t win on this one. He couldn’t tell her about his father because he didn’t remember him. Hahaha! Take **that** , Frikiza!  
“Sorry, I can’t.” King Piccolo shrugged. “I don’t know anything about my father.”  
“Oh don’t give me that!” Frikiza scoffed. “You must know something!”  
“All I know is that he was a namek – and one of the other nameks told Junior his name was Katas, but I don’t even know if that’s right.” King Piccolo said. He smirked at Frikiza mockingly. “Sorry. I tricked you.”  
“That’s really all you know?” Frikiza gasped. “Don’t you have any memories of him?”  
“Nope.” King Piccolo answered. “I didn’t even know I was a namek until someone told Junior. Katas sent me to Earth when I was a child, and I haven’t seen him since.”  
“Well… do you remember him sending you?” Frikiza asked.  
“No.” King Piccolo replied.  
“You don’t remember his voice?”  
“No.”  
“Or what he looked like?”  
“Dammit, I said no!” King Piccolo barked. “I have no idea what he sounded like, or what he looked like! I don’t even know if his name was really Katas, I just know that he was a namek that sent Kami and I to Earth when we were children, with a note that said he would follow us, but he never showed up!” He folded his arms and looked away. “So I suppose he was a traitor too.” King Piccolo grunted. “Maybe that’s where Junior gets it from.”

Frikiza studied King Piccolo for a moment. Really…? So he’d been left alone as a child…? Huh. A thought suddenly entered Frikiza’s mind and she kept her gaze on King Piccolo, watching him cautiously as she asked,  
“So you don’t remember being on Namek at all…?”  
“No. Why would I?” King Piccolo answered bluntly. “It was over three hundred years ago, and I was a child. How am I supposed to remember that?”  
“Well, how far back do you remember?” Frikiza questioned.  
“…” King Piccolo paused as he scanned through his memories, trying to pinpoint the earliest one. “… It was when I was on Earth.” He answered. “I was… young. A child – but I’d been here for a while. I lived in the wilderness, near Katas’ ship.”  
“And what was it like?” Frikiza asked. “Being a child on Earth?”  
“Wonderful.” King Piccolo smirked. “It was when I was born.”  
“What do you mean?” Frikiza frowned, looking at him.  
“I’m the evil that was in Kami, right?” King Piccolo replied. “Well… I guess Namek was a boring place to live, because _I_ never developed until Kami was sent to Earth.” He sniggered. “I suppose there are just more bad influences here.”  
“Maybe…” Frikiza uttered. “… So… when exactly were you ‘born’? Was it when Kami was a child?”  
“Mm.” King Piccolo nodded. “I grew stronger as he got older, and started living among humans… But yes. I was born in his childhood.”  
“I see.”

Frikiza looked at King Piccolo. “Did you have his memories? I mean – all the stuff that happened to him before you were born, do you remember it?”  
“Some.” King Piccolo shrugged. “But not much. It was hundreds of years ago.”  
“But… you know how he felt right?” Frikiza uttered. “When you were part of him, could you sense his feelings?”  
“Of course!” King Piccolo snapped. What, was she stupid? Why was she even asking him that? “We were the same being! Of course I could sense his feelings – I was his feelings!” King Piccolo growled.  
“So,” Frikiza began. “How did he feel? As a child, in the wilderness. What was it like?”  
“… Scary.” King Piccolo answered. “Not for me, of course. Kami was my weaker side. He was scared. He was scared of everything.” King Piccolo spat on the ground in disapproval, and his face twisted in disgust as he thought of his good counterpart. “Tch. He was pathetic. _I_ was the reason we survived in the wilderness. Kami was always too gentle. He always wanted to hide back in the ship, and wait for his daddy to show up and rescue him. It was _my_ presence that made him venture off into the world.” He snorted. “If it wasn’t for me, Kami would still be in that ship now – and he would be nothing but a corpse.”  
“You’re the brave side of him, huh?” Frikiza smiled. “The strong side? The one that does bad things?”  
“To protect us!” King Piccolo snapped. “Do you have any idea what it’s like growing up in the wilderness? _Everything_ wants to eat you! If I didn’t kill our enemies then they would have killed us! Katas was supposed to come and help us, but he never did so I had to. You can’t be ‘nice’ when you’re surviving on your own. You have to be tough and mean, that’s why - -” He stopped suddenly, and looked away. “… That’s why Junior was evil. Like me. He was strong, and brave, like I was. We grew up on our own. We couldn’t be nice boys. If we had, we would have been killed. If Junior had spent his childhood doing good things, he wouldn’t have survived into adulthood.”  
“But what about now?” Frikiza looked at him. “Junior’s nice now.”  
“Tch. Now he doesn’t need to take care of himself, he has his ‘friends’ to do it for him. He grew soft.” King Piccolo grunted. “He’s weak.”  
“Not weak.” Frikiza replied. “Just not lonely.”

King Piccolo looked at her. Her eyes were soft, and she was smiling at him warmly… What? Why was she doing that? Did she pity him? He didn’t need her pity! He wasn’t a victim! “Piccolo…” Frikiza uttered. “I know why you were born on Earth.”  
“Yeah – I just told you, Earth has more bad influences.” King Piccolo growled. “Namek was boring – too boring for Kami to be bad.”  
“I don’t think it’s just bad influences that made you.” Frikiza said. “I think it was being scared… and left alone.” She looked at King Piccolo. “Kami was sent here all by himself, right? With a note from his father promising he would come for him, but Katas never came… I can’t imagine what that must have been like, for a little boy on a strange planet, all alone like that. He must have felt so abandoned… I bet it made him angry.”  
“Maybe.” King Piccolo shrugged. “But it worked out well for me. I was fuelled by his anger.”  
“Right.” Frikiza smiled. “All those feelings of anger, and fear… They made an evil inside Kami, right? And that evil… it turned into you.”  
“Mm.” King Piccolo smirked slightly. “So perhaps I should thank Katas for abandoning his son – it gave Kami what he needed to create me.”  
“Yeah, maybe you should thank him.” Frikiza said, laughing a little. She looked at King Piccolo, and her eyes softened again. “You know he didn’t abandon you, right?” Frikiza said. “He died before he could reach you.”  
“Yeah, I know that now – but how was I supposed to figure that out as a child?” King Piccolo grunted. Frikiza giggled.  
“Yeah, I guess.” 

She stared at King Piccolo for a while. It was hard to imagine him as a child… but he must have made a cute one, even if he was just an angry little brat. A lost, frightened little brat… having to face the world alone… poor thing. Frikiza shifted a little as a warmth flooded her heart, and her body was suddenly overcome with a desire to hug King Piccolo. He was so sweet. King Piccolo looked at Frikiza and frowned, wondering why she was suddenly looking at him in such a peculiar way.  
“What’s wrong with you?” He demanded. Frikiza didn’t answer, and King Piccolo cried out as she suddenly threw herself at him. “Hey! What – Stop it!” He glared down at Frikiza as she wrapped her arms around him, hugging him tightly. “What is wrong with you!” King Piccolo snapped, his cheeks darkening slightly. She felt warm… “You know… If you don’t remember Katas on Namek, then maybe that mean he was nice to you – nice enough for Kami to not feel angry.” Frikiza spoke into King Piccolo’s gi as she squeezed him tightly and wrapped her tail around the two of them. “I’m sure your father loved you.”  
“Yeah, so what if he did!” King Piccolo barked. “Who the hell cares! Get **off** me!” He threw his arm out and knocked Frikiza off him, then became enraged at the sound of her giggling. This wasn’t funny! He hated her touching him! She was **not** permitted to touch him! … She did feel warm though… But still! This was inexcusable!  
“Sorry.” Frikiza smiled. “Anyway. Thanks for keeping your word – I guess I should reward you, huh?”  
“Hm?” King Piccolo looked at her. Reward? What was his reward? … Another day on Earth, perhaps? **Yes**! All he had to do was tell her what a tragic child Kami was and he got another day on Earth? Why didn’t she start with that? He would have told her about Kami hours ago!  
“It’s not another day on Earth… but it’s almost as good.” Frikiza said, instantly destroying King Piccolo’s excitement. Bitch.  
“So what is it?” King Piccolo muttered angrily. It was going to be crap, wasn’t it? What was it, chocolate or something? Not worth it.  
“I can make it so that you can sleep in a real bed tonight.” Frikiza replied. “With access to food and drink – and a spy-screen that never runs out.”

King Piccolo looked at her curiously. A spy screen than never runs out? Now… That did sound interested.  
“Go on.” He instructed. “Where?”  
“My house.” Frikiza said.  
“What!” King Piccolo cried. “No! I told you – I’m **not** interested in –”  
“Calm down, you’ll be in the guest room!” Frikiza protested. “But I’m staying here tonight so I thought maybe you might want to use the spare room. It’s almost as good as being on Earth – and we don’t have to talk, you can come and go whenever you want, you don’t even need to see me.” She looked at him, and folded her arms. “Well… do you want to use it or not?”

King Piccolo paused for a moment as he considered her offer. It did sound good… The bed and food and drink were appealing, but what really caught his interest was that spy-screen. Did she say it never ran out? He could make some use of that. … … Fine. If he was in the spare room, and he didn’t have to talk to her… It was better than being trapped in a honeymoon suite with Frikiza.  
“Fine.” King Piccolo grunted. “I’ll do it.”  
“Yeah, thanks – this isn’t a favour, you know.” Frikiza growled. “You could at least try to sound enthusiastic, it’s not like you have to stay.” She got up and folded her arms. “But whatever. I’ll give you the spare key after our class – it’s starting in ten minutes.”  
“What!” King Piccolo gasped. Oh, it just did not stop with her, did it? Now there was a class? After that hideous counselling session? “Are you serious!”  
“Yep.” Frikiza nodded, and turned away. “Come on. We don’t want to be late.”  
“ _ **Dammit**_!” King Piccolo roared, causing an earthquake that travelled for miles around. 


	14. Admitting It

_Crunch_. King Piccolo munched loudly, and had barely swallowed before he shoved another handful of popcorn into his mouth. He was spread across the sofa in Frikiza’s capsule house, just as he had been for the past three hours, watching Goku and Piccolo Junior on a fifty inch spy-screen.  
“Are you going to stay there all night?” Frikiza’s nagging voice came from somewhere else in the room.  
“Tch. Why is he friends with that runt?” King Piccolo snorted, watching in disapproval as Piccolo Junior stood on Kami’s Lookout, having a pleasant conversation with Dende. “He doesn’t even have an evil side – at least the last Kami was capable of producing **me**.”  
“Whatever.” Frikiza sighed. She moved her eyes down to the floor beneath King Piccolo, and her face filled with rage. “Hey!” Frikiza yelled. “Can you clean up this mess? Don’t be such a slob!”  
“Huh?” King Piccolo moved his eyes to the floor, and noticed that he couldn’t actually see it beneath the mountain of empty drink cartons and snack packets he’d been dumping throughout his movie session. “Oh…” King Piccolo smirked. “Sorry.” He tilted his head back and emptied his popcorn packet into his mouth and swallowed the contents whole, then tossed the empty packet onto the waste pile before stating, “You should clean it up. It’s disgusting.”  
“ ** _Me_**!” Frikiza shrieked. “It’s your mess!”  
“But I’m a guest in your house. You can’t expect me to clean.” King Piccolo insisted. “Besides…” He looked at Frikiza and smirked. “Aren’t icejin women supposed to clean up after men?”

King Piccolo watched in glee as Frikiza’s eyes glowed with anger and her ki skyrocketed.   
“Shut up!” Frikiza screamed. “And actually, we’re only expected to clean up after our husbands and their guests – because we’re not supposed to have any other men in the house!” She folded her arms and looked away stubbornly. “So according to icejin rules, you shouldn’t even be here.”  
“Well, just tell all the other icejins that you’re married and I’m a friend of your husband’s.” King Piccolo said, and picked up his can of melon soda. 

Frikiza watched as King Piccolo drank noisily, his eyes fixed on the spy-screen. Tch. He was disgusting. What sort of slob didn’t clean up after himself? He was gross!  
“My husband wouldn’t be friends with you.” Frikiza hissed.  
“Hm?” King Piccolo stopped drinking, and looked at her. “You have a husband?” He blinked. He didn’t know that. Did that mean Frieza had a wife? But wasn’t Frieza gay? …. Since when did Frikiza have a husband anyway? Not that it matter to him. It was no concern of King Piccolo’s if Frikiza had a… husband…

King Piccolo frowned slightly as a strange feeling took him by surprise. He was… annoyed. Why was he annoyed? Why should he care if Frikiza was married? It didn’t matter to him!  
“Technically.” Frikiza answered. “We’re separated now, so we’re as good as divorced.”  
“Oh…” King Piccolo mumbled. The feeling started to subside. He felt… relieved. Why did he feel that way? He didn’t care if she was married! She could have a hundred husbands or none at all, it was **no** concern of his! “So you don’t care about him?” King Piccolo grunted. Why was he asking that! He wasn’t interested!  
“No, that’s not it at all!” Frikiza gasped. “I care about him a lot, he means the world to me.” Okay, there was that feeling again. King Piccolo was annoyed – no, _angry_! Who the hell was this guy anyway? This stupid man that Frikiza was married to? King Piccolo tried to picture him. He was small, wasn’t he? King Piccolo was convinced this guy was tiny. Tiny, and weak, and worthless.   
_“I could take him.”_ King Piccolo thought. Yeah. Definitely. He could kick that guy’s ass! Frikiza didn’t need to be with a weakling like that anyway. Why did she even marry him?   
“I just… never felt ‘that way’ about him.” Frikiza shrugged, continuing on. “We didn’t get married for love – he’s from a rich family, so it was a political marriage. Most icejin marriages are.”  
“So what, he’s… not your type?” King Piccolo questioned. This was weird… He really wanted her to answer. He _needed_ her to answer. What was going on!  
“No… Not really, I guess.” Frikiza sighed. “Glazio’s very sweet, and he always was a loving husband, but… I just couldn’t get into him. I tried.”   
“… Oh.” King Piccolo grunted. Well, it made sense. Frikiza was a powerful woman with a strong personality, so of course she would need a strong man to handle her. This ‘Glazio’ punk sounded like nothing more than a bleeding heart weakling – he couldn’t satisfy Frikiza if his life depended on it! Haha. Loser.

Frikiza looked at King Piccolo, and frowned slightly when a sudden look of glee swept across his face. What was he so happy about? All she said was that she wasn’t attracted to her husband – why was that so amusing? Piccolo didn’t really care about that, did he? Why would he? Unless…? … Frikiza blushed slightly, then smirked as an idea came into her head. Maybe…  
“But… Still, of all the men I could have chosen, Glazio was definitely the best.” Frikiza said, taking a seat on the arm of the sofa. “He is really handsome – I mean, _really_ handsome.”  
“Hm.” King Piccolo scoffed. “By icejin standards? That doesn’t mean much.” He sounded annoyed… He _looked_ annoyed.   
_“Oh my God…”_ Frikiza thought to herself excitedly. _“Is he…?”_ She held back a grin, and continued. “Well, I always thought he was attractive. And he always tried to make me feel so special… He was so sweet, I couldn’t help but adore him…” She smirked a little, watching as the anger on King Piccolo’s face grew. “And he was such a gentle lover –”  
“ _ **Silence**_!” King Piccolo roared, jumping up onto his knees to glare at Frikiza angrily. “I don’t need to picture you with another man!”  
“ _Another_ man?” Frikiza repeated, raising her eyebrow at him.  
“I mean – with any man!” King Piccolo barked. “I don’t need to picture you like that at all! It’s disgusting!”  
“Really…” Frikiza uttered. She looked at King Piccolo. His cheeks were slightly darkened, his teeth were gritted and his fists were clenched. … How cute. “You know… If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were jealous.” Frikiza giggled.  
“Jealous? Ha!” King Piccolo snorted. “Don’t be absurd! Why would I care if there was someone out there foolish enough to so much as look at you, let alone marry you!”  
“Well, that’s what I thought.” Frikiza replied. “After all, you don’t like me, right?”  
“No I do **not**!” King Piccolo yelled. He didn’t. He didn’t like her! He had no idea why he was getting so annoyed at the thought of her with – with another man… A weak, bleeding heart little icejin sap that had got to Frikiza first… Arrgh! Why was he getting so angry? Why did he **hate** the idea of this ‘Glazio’ person marrying Frikiza?  
“Well, even if you did, you wouldn’t need to worry.” Frikiza shrugged.  
“What do you mean?” King Piccolo demanded, struggling to contain his anger.  
“Well…” Frikiza looked at him. “I just said, he was a gentle lover. You know I’m not into that, it’s too boring.” 

King Piccolo stared at Frikiza and watched as a small smirk formed on her lips and she looked at him darkly. Wickedly. Her scarlet were eyes twinkling, just like in that dream… Oh God, no! Not this again! “I like tough guys.” Frikiza said. “You know, strong guys. Guys that can be aggressive, and mean… and rough.”

King Piccolo’s lips parted slightly as he gazed at her. Oh, she liked that in a man, did she? Someone who could be rough with her? Well of course. With a power level like hers, the only option was to be rough. What else could satisfy her?  
“I would tear you apart.” King Piccolo said, and as soon as he spoke the words he clasped his hands over his mouth and gasped, his eyes widening. Oh fuck… He hadn’t just said that, had he? Please let it be that he had not just said that!  
“Really?” Frikiza giggled, her eyes twinkling. “What makes you think you could?” Okay – okay, that wasn’t fair! Either King Piccolo could admit defeat, which he never wanted to do under any circumstances, or he could respond by rising to her challenge, which he… didn’t want to do. No. No, he _didn’t_. … Oh fuck what if he did? Did he? Did he… Did he like her? No… **No**!  
“I’m tired.” King Piccolo said. “Sorry, but talking to you is boring me so much I want to go to bed.”  
“Is that so?” Frikiza replied, looking at him mockingly.   
“Yes!” King Piccolo snapped. How dare she mock him! The repulsive little bitch! He did **not** like her! King Piccolo gritted his teeth in anger and rose to his feet. “Goodnight.”  
“Goodnight, Tough Guy.” Frikiza said and winked, causing King Piccolo to freeze for a brief moment. Why had she just done that? She was mocking him. Of course she was. Next time she did that he was going to rip out her eyes! And then push her to the ground, and… Okay! Enough!  
“Goodnight!” King Piccolo barked, and darted into the spare room.

Frikiza giggled to herself, blushing. He did like her, didn’t he…? He just didn’t want to admit it. But he did… he liked her! Frikiza’s heart skipped a beat and her entire body tingled with excitement. She couldn’t remember the last time she felt this happy! King Piccolo liked her! He liked her! Frikiza felt like jumping for joy – until she noticed the pile of trash King Piccolo had left on the floor.  
“Dammit…” Frikiza seethed. “ _ **Piccolo**_!” 

XXXXX

It was the middle of the night. King Piccolo had been in bed for a couple of hours now, but he was struggling to sleep. He couldn’t stop thinking about Frikiza, and how infuriated he was that she had married someone else… **Dammit**! He shouldn’t care about that! She wasn’t his girlfriend, and he didn’t want her to be his girlfriend, or his wife! It wasn’t any concern of King Piccolo’s that she had a husband – in fact, as far as he was concerned she could go back to Mr. Soft-Heart and disappear from this universe forever! 

But… why did he keep thinking about it? Dammit… Maybe he did like her. Not in a personal way, of course. How **could** King Piccolo like her in a personal way? She was awful! She was unbearable! She was so bossy and whiny and so sickeningly sweet… ugh. King Piccolo winced in disgust. Her personality was nothing to be desired. Her body, though… Was that it? Was he simply physically attracted to her? … Well, that wasn’t so bad. She was just a piece of meat, wasn’t she? That didn’t mean he liked her – far from it! It meant that he didn’t respect her; it meant that he wanted to use her for his own gain. Actually, that sounded rather evil, didn’t it? Maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea after all.  
“Piccolo?” King Piccolo flinched at the sound of Frikiza’s voice by his bedroom door. Oh, what horrible timing…

He turned onto his side to look at Frikiza as she stood in the doorway of the spare room. “Are you still awake?” Frikiza asked.  
“I couldn’t sleep.” King Piccolo replied. He looked at her, and he suddenly felt disgusted with himself. No… No, he couldn’t like her. He couldn’t even be attracted to her! It was _Frikiza_! It was wrong!  
“Oh.” Frikiza uttered. “Is the bed not comfortable?”  
“Uh… yeah.” King Piccolo answered. Yes, that was it. Anything to stop her knowing the true reason why he couldn’t sleep. He frowned, and snorted. “Is this how you treat all your guests? You let them sleep on a worn old mattress?”  
“Sorry.” Frikiza giggled. “We can trade rooms if you want?”  
“… No, thank you.” King Piccolo replied. He didn’t want to sleep in… Frikiza’s bed. That would… that would be horrible. … Wouldn’t it? It would smell just like her, and it would be warm where she’d just slept… _**No**_! That was repulsive!   
“Okay.” Frikiza shrugged. “Well then, let me make you more comfortable.”  
“What?” King Piccolo looked at her and his eyes widened. “Oh – no!” He snapped. “No! How many times – I don’t like you!”  
“Not that, Moron!” Frikiza scolded. “I meant something else. Just… lie on your front.”  
“Why?” King Piccolo asked cautiously.   
“Just do it.” Frikiza ordered, in an overly bossy tone that made King Piccolo flinch slightly. That was a little aggressive, wasn’t it? … Whatever.

King Piccolo hesitated, then reluctantly obeyed and rolled onto his front. He lay there and listened out for Frikiza. He could hear her moving towards him, then he felt her weight on the bed… and then on him. She was sitting on his waist. What was she going to do…? King Piccolo didn’t wait long before he got his answer. He felt her hands on his shoulders, then down his back. She was massaging him.  
“Frikiza.” King Piccolo growled. “Stop. I don’t need this.”  
“It feels like you do.” Frikiza replied. “How long have you had these knots? They’re so hard!”  
“Ow!” King Piccolo cried out as a sharp pain shot through his shoulder blade. He turned to glare up at Frikiza. “What the hell are you doing!”  
“Unknotting you.” Frikiza pouted. “Don’t be such a baby – your muscles are all tangled up. I can’t fix them without pulling them apart – and that’ll hurt a little.”  
“You said you were going to make me more comfortable!” King Piccolo argued. “How is ripping my muscles apart making me more comfortable?”

Frikiza just giggled.  
“Don’t worry, it will. Just be patient. You’ll thank me for this, I promise.” She narrowed her eyes at him, and smirked. “You can handle a little pain, can’t you?”  
“… Of course I can.” King Piccolo growled stubbornly, and returned to lying down. Tch. Who did she think he was? Pain was no match for King Piccolo! She could rip his arms off for all he cared; he wouldn’t so much as flinch.  
“Good.” Frikiza said. She placed her hands back on King Piccolo’s shoulders, and started to dig her fingers deep into his muscles, causing the demon king to clench his fists and grit his teeth as wave upon wave of pain shot through his nerves. Dammit, was she doing this right? It wasn’t supposed to hurt this much, was it? Not that he couldn’t handle it. Of course he could! King Piccolo endured the treatment for what felt like a lifetime, not resisting as Frikiza annihilated every muscle in his neck, shoulders and back. He felt like he was being stabbed by an army… but he felt looser. He didn’t like to admit it, but it did feel like Frikiza had done some good to him.   
“… Thanks.” King Piccolo mumbled reluctantly. He started to sit up, but Frikiza’s hands pushed him back down.  
“Not yet.” Frikiza said. “I’m not done. Now it’s the nice part.”  
“The nice part?” King Piccolo groaned. “What are you going to do, pull off my skin?” He was greeted by another giggle from Frikiza. He hated it when she did that…  
“Just stay there.” Frikiza instructed. “And relax.”

King Piccolo let out a sigh but obeyed, settling his head against his pillow. He clenched his fists again and readied himself for more pain, but there was none. It wasn’t pain, it was… something else. Warmth. Frikiza was using her ki to warm her hands as she stroked them across King Piccolo’s body, using just enough pressure to stimulate every nerve. Every. Single. Nerve. Oh, that felt good… What the hell was she _doing_ back there? “Is that okay?” Frikiza’s voice came from above King Piccolo, and it didn’t sound half as annoying now.  
“Uh-huh…” King Piccolo grunted from the depths of his pillow. “Oh yeah…” Frikiza laughed a little, but he didn’t mind it this time. So long as she kept doing whatever she was doing, she could laugh as much as she wanted. “Harder.” King Piccolo ordered, becoming accustomed to the pressure she was using.  
“Okay.” Frikiza nodded and increased her pressure, drawing a long, low moan from King Piccolo’s throat. Oh, this was bliss… King Piccolo buried his face in his pillow, grinning widely as Frikiza massaged his body. He couldn’t believe he’d found a use for those tiny hands of hers. From now on this was all she was doing. Just this. She wasn’t his counsellor anymore, she was his personal masseuse. 

Frikiza slid her warm hands down to the bottom of King Piccolo’s spine, and he frowned in annoyance when she stopped the massage there. Why had she stopped? He never gave her permission to stop! King Piccolo opened his mouth to speak, but held his breath when he felt Frikiza lean down onto him, holding her lips against his ear. “See.” She breathed, causing King Piccolo’s skin to tingle. “It hurts at first, when you go in really deep…” She pressed her fingers into the muscles on King Piccolo’s lower back, giving him a sharp, deep sort of pain that somehow felt amazing. “But then… it feels good, doesn’t it?” She started stroking his lower back quickly and forcefully, sending sharp waves of pain through King Piccolo’s nerves. It hurt, but it did something else as well. King Piccolo didn’t know whether it was the pressure that Frikiza was using, or the area she was targeting, but it felt so amazing it made him wish that she would never stop doing it. “And the rougher the better… don’t you think?”  
“Uh-huh…” King Piccolo uttered. What was she saying, exactly…? He had the feeling she wasn’t just talking about massage anymore.   
“King Piccolo…” Frikiza whispered into his ear, causing the demon king to freeze. This again…? “Do you think you can be rough with me, Sire…?” Ohhh… this again. Just like in that dream. Wait… King Piccolo thought for a moment.   
“… Oh, fuck.” He sighed, and as soon as King Piccolo spoke the words he found himself lying on his back, staring up at the ceiling with Frikiza nowhere in sight.

Dammit! That had by far been the best thing that had ever happened to his body, and it had just been a stupid dream! Tch. Great. King Piccolo rolled onto his front and lay there in frustration, furious at himself for having such a dream in the first place, and furious for waking up and destroying it. Why had he had such a dream anyway? He didn’t want a stupid backrub – and definitely not off Frikiza! It was that conversation that they’d had earlier, and her talking about having sex with her husband… Why had she done that? Why would anyone do that? King Piccolo did **not** want to hear about Frikiza’s personal life, it was disgusting! Frikiza was disgusting! And he did **not** like her, not the slightest bit! He didn’t even like her body – actually, her body was the worst thing about her because it was small and lizard-like. She was too short, and her tail was too long, and her horns were too sharp. Her eyes were too red, her lips were too black, her hands were too small, her boobs were… … Well actually they weren’t bad… but the rest of her was terrible! Absolutely repulsive! Tch. Fuck this. King Piccolo was thirsty. He was getting a drink – after all, he might as well make the most of Frikiza’s kitchen while he had the chance. He would take everything she owned and leave her with nothing to survive on. Ha! Take that, Lizard-Girl. King Piccolo climbed out of bed and made his way into the kitchen. 

He headed straight for the fridge, almost as instinctively as a saiyan. King Piccolo opened the door and gazed upon its contents. Hm… Frikiza didn’t have much in the way of soft drinks – did icejins ever drink anything except wine? Or maybe it was just Frieza and his family that were alcoholics. Anyway… King Piccolo didn’t feel like drinking wine – not that he could get drunk off it. He couldn’t get drunk; he was too strong! He pulled out a few cans of melon soda and took a seat at the breakfast bar, and drank two cans without even taking a breath in between. King Piccolo belched loudly, and then crushed the empty cans in his palms. Stupid Frikiza. Stupid icejin. Stupid dream. King Piccolo let out an angry sigh and looked around at the room, wondering if he should chance going back to bed. What if he had another dream? He didn’t want one. He didn’t even like seeing Frikiza in real life, and especially not in his dreams! She seemed to be a lot more forward in dream-land. A lot more sexual. It was disgusting.  
“Piccolo?” Oh, great… This was all he needed. King Piccolo looked up at the sound of Frikiza’s voice, and his eyes widened. Yeah… Disgusting…

Frikiza was standing in the kitchen doorway, wearing what was almost her usual night clothes. It was a vest, as usual, with that chest of hers on show, but… she wasn’t wearing shorts. Just underwear. Black underwear. Black, with kind of a skirt thing around the top – a piece of fabric that went all around the top of her knickers. What was that? It was ridiculous. Just one more thing to get in the way – no! King Piccolo didn’t mean that. What he meant was, it was one more thing to tug at – dammit! He downed his third can of melon soda, and stared at Frikiza.  
“Hi.” King Piccolo grunted, unable to say anything else. He wanted to look away. Why wasn’t he looking away?   
“Couldn’t sleep?” Frikiza smiled, approaching the breakfast bar. Oh, she was coming towards him. Why was she doing that? Why wasn’t she going back to bed?  
“No.” King Piccolo answered.  
“You know, eight cans of soda won’t help you sleep.” Frikiza said sternly, looking at the collection of melon sodas King Piccolo had in front of him.  
“I… don’t want to sleep.” King Piccolo replied, secretly thankful that Frikiza being so close to him was blocking his view of her bottom half, which was concealed behind the bar top.   
“Well, that’s just as well.” Frikiza said. She walked past him towards the large wine rack that was on the kitchen wall, causing King Piccolo to groan a little. Now she had her back to him, and all he could stare at was her butt and those tiny black – whatever they were! Some kind of weird underwear with a skirt. He wanted to take them off. He hated them that much he wanted to rip them off!

Frikiza didn’t seem to notice King Piccolo’s staring as she poured herself a glass of wine and took a sip, leaving a moist glow on her lips that would no doubt taste of wine… Oh, _God_! Fuck it. Why was he even denying it? He liked her. King Piccolo liked her. He had no idea why. He hated her personality, and she _wasn’t_ attractive, but… He just… He wanted to… **Dammit**! “Anyway.” Frikiza broke King Piccolo out of his thoughts, and she looked at him. “I’m going back to bed.” She said. “Goodnight.”  
“Night.” King Piccolo grunted. 

Frikiza started to make her way towards the kitchen door, when she stopped.  
“Oh…” She turned and looked at King Piccolo. “Do you mind if I turn the heating up? It got cold all of a sudden.”  
“I didn’t notice…” King Piccolo mumbled, staring at her body once more. Well maybe if she actually put some clothes on she wouldn’t be cold!  
“Well do you mind?” Frikiza asked.  
“No, go ahead.” King Piccolo answered, still staring at her. Oh, those hips of hers were so wide… That ass was so firm, and those thighs were so toned. Those breasts were so big, those lips, those eyes, that neck… Fuck! “But…” King Piccolo uttered. “If you want I could… warm you up?”

Frikiza stared at King Piccolo, and he stared back. He wasn’t sure why he had just said that. Why had he just said that…? … Actually, he knew why. They both knew why. He wanted to follow Frikiza into her room. He wanted to follow her into her bed… and he wanted to fuck her. “What do you think?” King Piccolo asked, looking at Frikiza.  
“Well… that depends.” Frikiza answered cautiously. “Do you have… ‘food poisoning’?” 

King Piccolo smirked slightly, and sniggered. Cocky little bitch… She was still saying that, huh? She would pay for that. If she agreed to this, it would be the _worst_ thing she would ever do.  
“No.” He answered. “No, I don’t.”  
“I see.” Frikiza uttered. She paused for a moment, then smiled. “Well then… Let’s go, I’m cold.” She turned her back to King Piccolo and walked out of the room, with the lustful demon following closely behind. 


	15. The Battle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, there is a lemon in this chapter. It just felt right, and when I asked my readers' opinions on ff.net more people wanted it than not, so that's the route I took. However, I know lemons don't appeal to everyone, so I've tried to make it as mild as I can. I personally don't think this chapter is overly explicit, but if you are squeamish about lemons or lemon-ish content, I'd recommend you skip over this one. And for those of you who do read it, please tell me how I did :D Thank you!

King Piccolo cautiously stepped into Frikiza’s room, and he took a moment to study his new surroundings. He had to admit, he never thought he would find himself here… but now that he was here, it was more or less what he imagined. The décor was… very Frieza-esque. The room had pale red walls and a cream carpet, with a deep scarlet rug forming a centrepiece to the floor. The bedroom furniture was black, as was the decoration on Frikiza’s bed. Her bed was dressed in four silk pillows, two red and two black, and the silk duvet cover was black, and the bed sheets scarlet … King Piccolo could see the bed sheets. Frikiza had pulled back the duvet and was sitting on the open bed, with her wine glass in her hand and her tail hovering behind her. She was staring at him questionably, like she was unsure of something. King Piccolo didn’t particularly care what that was. All he could think about was how tight that vest was, and how small Frikiza looked in her king-size bed. It was far too big for her. She looked so lost in it, so… vulnerable… Oh, _fuck_ …  
“Are you sure?” Frikiza asked, dragging King Piccolo out of his lustful thoughts. She looked at him softly. “We don’t have to, you know.”  
“Yes I’m sure!” King Piccolo snapped. “I’m not a child!” The nerve of her! He was insulted! Why was she acting like he didn’t want to do this? This was his idea! The only person Frikiza should be concerned about right now was herself, because he would destroy her!  
“Okay.” Frikiza said. “Well then… come here. Do you want a drink?”  
“No.” King Piccolo answered, and made his way over to her.

Frikiza’s heart stopped as King Piccolo approached her, and he climbed onto the bed. He sat on his knees opposite her, staring down at her frame. He was staring at her chest, then her waist, and her hips… He was making her blush! Frikiza could feel her cheeks darkening, and she turned her face away.  
“You’re staring.” She said.  
“Isn’t that the point?” King Piccolo grunted. He reached his hand out to place it on her shoulder, and travelled his fingers down the strap of her vest, his claws grazing against her skin. “Why else would you wear this…?”  
“That’s not the reason!” Frikiza argued, frowning at him.  
“Really?” King Piccolo smirked. That was unfortunate, because it had that effect on him every time he saw her wearing it. Not that he would tell her that. It would be embarrassing to tell her how wild she drove him, even in this situation. Frikiza simply took another sip of her wine, and looked at King Piccolo stubbornly.  
“Really.” She pouted. 

King Piccolo moved his eyes to Frikiza’s lips, unable to resist staring at the faint moist glow the deep red wine had left on them. Oh, they looked so divine… All of a sudden Frikiza’s lips actually seemed desirable. He wanted to taste them… He wanted to do more than that. He wanted to grab hold of that little body of hers, and lock himself onto those delicious lips. He wanted to push his tongue past them and run it all over her mouth, then down her neck and down her body… Damn, there wasn’t a thing he wouldn’t do to her. She wanted him to do it, right? She wanted him to kiss her? After all, she had allowed him into her bedroom. She’d already admitted that she liked him… … So why wasn’t she doing anything? Frikiza was just gazing at him. Watching him. Was she waiting for him to make the first move? Was that how icejins did it? He was the man after all…

Frikiza noticed a thoughtful look on King Piccolo’s face, and her heart sank a little. He was having second thoughts, wasn’t he? He didn’t like her, after all… … Well… if he didn’t want to, then she didn’t want to force him… Dammit. For a second there, she thought she’d won him. Frikiza sighed inwardly, and took another sip of her wine. Okay… better help him out. He wanted to leave, didn’t he? She didn’t want him to go… but she would never forgive herself if she didn’t let him. If anything ever happened between them, it had to be with no doubts, or regrets. It wouldn’t be right after all, would it…? To continue with this, even though she knew he was having second thoughts? She couldn’t do that… Not to him. Not to anybody. It would be cruel.

Frikiza finished off her wine, and looked at the demon king.  
“Piccolo –” Frikiza didn’t get chance to speak another word before she felt King Piccolo’s lips against hers, and his hand around the back of her head. Frikiza’s eyes widened and her heart skipped a beat as she realised what was going on. Piccolo was… kissing her. He was sober, and he was kissing her! He liked her… He liked her! 

Frikiza closed her eyes and allowed herself to be swept into the kiss. She disposed of her wine glass without even noticing, passing it to the tip of her tail and placing it on the bedside table behind her while her hands trailed themselves up King Piccolo’s back. She held onto his large muscular frame, exploring and caressing the firmness of his body as she slowly parted her lips to deepen the kiss. Frikiza almost flinched when King Piccolo took hold of her face and forced his tongue into her mouth, kissing her so roughly she almost screamed. His lips thudded against hers and his hands gripped her so powerfully he almost broke Frikiza’s jaw. Frikiza let out a soft moan and stroked her hands firmly down King Piccolo’s back, drawing a small moan from the namekian’s throat as she greeted his tongue with hers. She slid over it firmly and keenly, and went on to explore every corner of the demon king’s mouth. He tasted so good… He felt so good. His tongue was so rough and forceful, his teeth were so sharp, his lips were so tough, his grip was so strong… 

Frikiza trailed her hands round to the front of King Piccolo’s waist and slid them back up his body, across his toned stomach and onto his wide, muscular chest. King Piccolo slowed a little and opened his closed eyes when he felt a pressure against him. Frikiza had her eyes open now and she was looking at him, her face pulled away for a brief moment as she pushed him against the bed. She climbed onto him, positioning herself in his lap, and placed her arms around his neck. King Piccolo stared at Frikiza as she sat on him, and he felt a sudden rush of excitement. Oh yeah… now that was a good place for her to be. All of his favourite parts of her were within reach, and he could feel the warmth of her body on his lap. Oh, that warmth felt good… He could wait to – … Wait. A sudden thought entered King Piccolo’s mind. Frikiza had wanted to date him, right? Did she think that was what was going on here? No… No, he didn’t want that! He just wanted to have sex. That had to be nipped in the bud.  
“Frikiza.” King Piccolo uttered.  
“Something wrong?” Frikiza asked, her face steadily filling with concern.  
“This… doesn’t make me your boyfriend.” King Piccolo stated. “I don’t want to date you. This is just… something to do.”  
“ ‘Something to do’ ?” Frikiza repeated. Wait, so… He didn’t want anything to come of this? This was just… sex? … … Well… it wasn’t exactly what she wanted. She did like him, and she thought maybe he could like her… If he didn’t then maybe they shouldn’t do this… Then again… Frikiza smiled a little. Why had he even told her that? Why hadn’t he just taken what he wanted, and then dumped her afterwards? That was what a real jerk would do, right? If he really didn’t care about her, he wouldn’t risk ruining the moment by admitting he just wanted to use her. He would be selfish, and lead her on… but he wasn’t doing that. He was… being nice. Yes… Frikiza felt a flutter of excitement. He was being nice to her. He did care about her! And he was capable of being nice, just like she’d thought all along! Well then… How could she resist him now? He was so sweet, and so handsome… and so sexy! She could still feel his lips from their kiss; she could still taste his tongue. She didn’t want to end it now! 

Frikiza looked at King Piccolo, and smiled. “That’s fine.” She purred, trailing her nail across his steel chest. She moved her hands up him and caressed the back of King Piccolo’s head firmly, then slid her palm down onto his jaw to pull him into another deep kiss. King Piccolo closed his eyes and allowed himself to once again explore the depths of Frikiza’s mouth. He gripped her firmly and forced his rough lips against hers, eagerly parting them to allow his lustful tongue into her mouth. He liked kissing Frikiza. He liked the feeling of her warm, soft tongue against his; he liked the sweet taste of her wine-stained lips. He liked that she was sitting on him… just like in that first dream he’d had. Would she, he wondered. Would Frikiza do that? Would she behave the way she had in that dream? Would she call him those names…? Ohhhh if she did… 

King Piccolo broke away from their fierce kiss, and looked at her.  
“Frikiza.” He breathed hoarsely, his hands settling on her hips. Those gorgeous round hips. He held them firmly, locking her against him.  
“Mm?” Frikiza uttered. King Piccolo looked at her face. Her cheeks were dark, and her lips were swollen. He’d done that to her… and she looked gorgeous! “What is it?”  
“I uh…” King Piccolo began. “I… had this dream…” He started to blush slightly. He felt embarrassed…  
“Dream?” Frikiza repeated.  
“Yeah…” King Piccolo mumbled. He looked away, his cheeks darkening. He didn’t want to say it. He didn’t know how to! He looked at Frikiza for a few seconds, then quickly touched his fingers to her forehead, sending her an image of his dream.

King Piccolo watched Frikiza’s reaction. She seemed… surprised? Her eyes widened, and she gasped a little.  
“Oh…” Frikiza uttered.  
“Mm.” King Piccolo grunted, looking away as his cheeks darkened even more. This was a stupid idea… Why had he shown her that? She wouldn’t do that… He’d just embarrassed himself!   
“So you… had a dream about me?” King Piccolo looked up to see Frikiza staring at him with a gleeful grin on her face. “A dirty dream?”  
“Yeah – whatever. It was just a dream.” King Piccolo growled. Stupid bitch. She was mocking him! “It didn’t mean anything, so don’t flatter yourself.”  
“Oh… Well, that’s a shame.” Frikiza said. “Because… I thought it looked like fun…”  
“Hm?” King Piccolo looked at Frikiza, and she gazed back with a dark smirk on her lips and a wicked twinkle in her eyes. She looked sexy…   
“ _King Piccolo_.” The words send a shiver down King Piccolo’s spine. Ohhhh fuck… This wasn’t a dream too was it? He wasn’t going to wake up in his cave, or in a chair in the honeymoon suite? Or at Goku’s house!

Frikiza leaned over King Piccolo and placed her lips against his ear, crushing her soft breasts into his chest as she spoke in a submissive voice, “I’m here to serve you, _Sire_.”  
“Holy hell.” King Piccolo choked, closing his eyes. No… This wasn’t a dream. He could tell because it felt so much better! Oh God! He opened his eyes again to see Frikiza sitting in his lap, running her hands down his chest.   
“What is your first command, Master?” She purred. ‘Master’… Oh, what was she _doing_ to him? That name… It was driving him crazy!  
“Take off that vest.” King Piccolo breathed, struggling to contain his urge to rip it off himself. “ **Now**.”  
“Yes, Sire.” Frikiza giggled, and obeyed.

King Piccolo stared in awe as those large, soft breasts of hers were finally revealed to him. They bounced as she took her vest off, and then sprung into position on her chest. They were so big, and firm, and round… and tasty. Definitely tasty, right? They had to be. King Piccolo moved his eyes up to Frikiza’s and raised his hand, beckoning for her to come closer.  
“Come here.” He instructed.  
“Yes, Sire.” Frikiza nodded, and obediently leaned towards King Piccolo.

She gasped and let out a cry when she suddenly felt King Piccolo’s rough, calloused hands throw themselves onto her chest. He yanked her towards him, plunging his face into the depths of her breasts. Frikiza bit her lip and held tightly onto King Piccolo’s head as he showed absolutely no mercy to her chest. He kissed her fiercely, and when he was bored of that he sucked her and tugged at her with his lips, all the while forcefully pushing her soft flesh into his face with his large, greedy hands. “K-King Piccolo…” Frikiza whimpered, causing King Piccolo to become even more excited. “Oh, Master…” Ohhhh **hell** she knew how to turn him on. At this rate he wouldn’t even get the chance to fuck her! But he couldn’t stop now. Those soft round breasts of hers had driven him crazy enough times, and now he was going to get his fill. He continued his assault on her so roughly it hurt a little, but Frikiza didn’t mind that. It felt good. She closed her eyes and tightened her grip on his head, then she lowered her lips towards him.

King Piccolo almost screamed when he felt a warmth against the top of his left antennae. Oh… Oh yes! Yes! That was going to be her next command – how did she know to do that? He moaned into her chest as Frikiza slid her talented mouth down his antennae, closing her lips tightly around it. She stroked it with her tongue and sucked at it, so perfectly it was as if she’d done it a million times before. … She hadn’t done it before, right? Not to a namek?  
“Mmmmm…” King Piccolo groaned as Frikiza moved onto his right antennae, instantly distracting him. She sucked his right, but she caressed the base of his left antennae with her fingertips. How did she know to do that? She was amazing! “Frikiza…” King Piccolo dragged his hands away from Frikiza’s breasts to run them down her back and onto her hips. He massaged her hips firmly and tugged at her soft flesh before placing his palms onto her butt. Her toned, round butt. Damn she was in good shape. King Piccolo couldn’t get enough of her ass; he squeezed it and tugged at it mercilessly but it didn’t seem like enough, and when Frikiza moaned in satisfaction… well, it just made him even hungrier.  
“King Piccolo…” Frikiza whispered, pushing her hips down onto him. She moved her buttocks down towards his palms, further into his rough grasp, and pressed the bottom of her underwear against the top of his legs. “Sire… What would you like me to do now…?”

King Piccolo let out a loud moan and threw his head against the headboard of the bed as Frikiza took both of her antennae into his mouth. Why was she even asking him that? She knew exactly what he wanted her to do. She had amazing, delicious mouth around his antennae, and her tiny little entrance against his crotch, and they both knew she could feel something that wasn’t soft! She was going to make him say it, wasn’t she? Well he would… before her mouth around his antennae brought an end to this.  
“Take…” King Piccolo breathed. “Take off…” He placed his fingertips on the top of her underwear and frowned when he was greeted by that strange piece of fabric. “What the hell are these!” King Piccolo demanded.

Frikiza started laughing, and pulled her lips away.  
“What do you mean?” She asked.  
“What’s this?” King Piccolo growled, tugging at the piece of fabric that hung off the top of her underwear. “Is this a skirt?”  
“No! They’re just briefs – it’s decoration.” Frikiza replied. “It’s pretty.”  
“It’s ridiculous.” King Piccolo argued. “Take them off, they’re annoying me.”  
“I’m sorry.” Frikiza laughed. “I didn’t know you felt so strongly about underwear.”  
“Neither did I.” King Piccolo muttered, causing Frikiza to laugh even harder.   
“Okay.” She grinned.

Frikiza placed her hands on her underwear and raised her hips, blushing slightly at King Piccolo’s eyes on her. He watched her calmly, curiously even. He was keen to see what she looked like fully unclothed. “There.” Frikiza said, and threw her underwear on the floor. She looked at King Piccolo, and her cheeks darkened. “… Well?”

King Piccolo remained quiet for a moment, studying her. It was so strange how her skin changed… It was the same consistency from her thighs to her neck, but around Frikiza’s private area the colouring changed. The dark pink that coated her legs and tail curved off just above her pelvic bone, and from there upwards her skin was a paler pink. There was a purple plate under her breasts as well, like the one on her head – like the one on Frieza’s chest. But… hers was better. It seemed to shape her breasts, and drew attention to her slim, toned stomach. Then those gorgeous hips, those toned thighs… and that part in between. King Piccolo’s lips suddenly felt dry. That was it… That was what he wanted. The place where he could fuck her.  
“Turn around.” King Piccolo ordered. Frikiza obeyed, and King Piccolo licked his lips dry as he gazed at her. Her slender back, her firm buttocks… Delicious. “Okay.” King Piccolo said. “Face me.” He watched as Frikiza turned around and looked at him, awaiting his next command.   
“What should I do now, Sire?” Frikiza purred, sending a shiver down King Piccolo’s spine. Why did she sound so sexy when she said that…? Damn!  
“Get it out.” King Piccolo ordered bluntly. “And sit on it.”  
“As you wish, Master.” Frikiza smirked, and King Piccolo watched eagerly as Frikiza placed her tiny hands on his belt. His skin felt like it was bubbling; King Piccolo could hardly contain his excitement as Frikiza loosened his belt and placed her hand inside his trousers, pulling out his organ. Her hand felt so warm against him. He wanted her to tighten her grip. He wanted her to touch him with both hands, and stroke him… but she didn’t. In fact, she wasn’t doing anything. Why wasn’t she doing anything! “Oh my God…” Frikiza uttered, her eyes widening.  
“Huh?” King Piccolo frowned, noticing the way Frikiza was suddenly staring at him. “What’s wrong?” What was her problem? She wanted this too, didn’t she? Why was she staring at him like that…? Did it look different to what she was expecting…? … Well, of course it did! Of course it wasn’t what she was used to – he wasn’t an icejin! She should have thought about that before she started this, there was no **way** King Piccolo was stopping now! If she didn’t want to do this then he would just make her!

Frikiza looked at him, and held up a hand.  
“Nothing!” She answered quickly. “There’s nothing wrong with it, it’s just…” King Piccolo frowned as Frikiza’s cheeks darkened and she looked away shyly. “It’s just… huge.”  
“Oh.” King Piccolo uttered, and smirked. Haha. So it wasn’t like Glazio’s, then? Of course. That made sense. Glazio was a bleeding heart weakling; it made sense that he would have a weak body as well. Still… Poor Frikiza. She wouldn’t be used to this, would she? King Piccolo could only hope that he didn’t damage her… Not too much, anyway. “Don’t worry, I’ll go slow.” King Piccolo said with a smug smirk on his lips. “After all… it only hurts at first, right?”  
“I’m not worried about the pain…” Frikiza replied, and looked at him. “I just… don’t think it’ll fit.”  
“What?” King Piccolo frowned. “Don’t be ridiculous, of course it will!”  
“Piccolo – look at me!” Frikiza protested, pointing to herself. “It’s too long!”  
“Well then I’ll just put half of it in!” King Piccolo growled, suddenly growing impatient. Dammit she was really starting to kill the mood! She liked him, didn’t she? This was maybe her one chance to act upon those feeling – was she really going to blow it away by arguing over his size? What difference did it make to her how much of it he used anyway? Dammit!  
“But… I want all of you.” Frikiza uttered, and immediately put King Piccolo back in the mood. Oh, that was flattering… She was a greedy little thing, wasn’t she? Haha.  
“Sorry, Darling.” King Piccolo smirked. “You’ll have to make do with most of me.”  
“Yeah…” Frikiza replied. “Or I could just transform.”  
“Transform?” King Piccolo repeated, a look of confusion sweeping across his face. What was she talking about?  
“Yeah – my second form’s bigger. It might work in that one.” Frikiza nodded. “Do you want to try?”  
“I… didn’t even know you could transform.” King Piccolo said. Frikiza giggled.  
“Of course I can! Haven’t you ever wondered why Frieza and I look so different?” She asked.  
“No…” King Piccolo answered. They didn’t look that different…  
“He’s in his forth form, and I’m in my first.” Frikiza explained. “The first is easier to control, so we stay like this – Frieza’s only in his forth because he died in it.”  
“Well… what’s the advantage of being in your forth form?” King Piccolo questioned. “If it’s harder to control?”  
“Because it’s more powerful.” Frikiza said. “Whenever we move up a form, we get more powerful. Which means…” She looked at King Piccolo and smirked wickedly. “If I transform, I’ll gain power. You can handle it, can’t you?”  
“Of course!” King Piccolo snorted arrogantly. “Just do it!” Actually he was curious to see this ‘second form’ of hers. Was it really more powerful? That was difficult to imagine.   
“Okay. Don’t get freaked out.” Frikiza said.  
“Fine.” King Piccolo sighed. Freaked out? As if he would! It couldn’t be that different, could it?

Frikiza climbed off King Piccolo to sit beside him, and she started to transform. It was unbelievable to watch. Her entire body started to glow at first, and then she got taller… a lot taller – she was the same height as Junior! Her shoulders widened a little, and her horns grew larger, and moved into more of a right-angle shape. Her tiny frame… It was far from tiny now. She was much longer, and wider. It was… different.

Frikiza moved her eyes to King Piccolo, and her heart sank when she saw the look on his face, like he didn’t really know what he was looking at.  
“You don’t like it…?” She mumbled.  
“Uh…” King Piccolo uttered, staring at her. She was… so different! She was still smaller than him, but… She wasn’t small. Not anymore. Where was that tiny little waist, and those dainty hands? She actually _looked_ more powerful than him now. It was… sort of off-putting.  
“I can change back…” Frikiza offered. “If you really don’t like it…?”  
“Well…” King Piccolo continued to study her. She wasn’t bad-looking in this form… it just didn’t look like Frikiza. She was still in proportion – her body was taller and wider, but it still had that hourglass figure. Her breasts were still round and soft-looking, they were just bigger. Than wasn’t a bad thing – it just gave him more flesh to play with. Her waist was a lot bigger in this form, but it was still small compared to those hips. Those wide hips, that fell down into that tight ass – there was more of that to play with as well. Maybe he could get used to this form. If he just experimented with it, he could enjoy it… Couldn’t he? “… It doesn’t feel more powerful.” King Piccolo commented, noticing that Frikiza’s power level hadn’t increased. That could be a deal-breaker. If he was going to have sex with someone that looked more powerful than him, he wanted them to at least feel more powerful. He wasn’t about to fuck a giant weakling!  
“That’s because I’m hiding it – I didn’t want to freak you out!” Frikiza protested.  
“I won’t be freaked out!” King Piccolo snapped. “Just show me your power, would you!”  
“Okay.” Frikiza shrugged. “Here.”

Frikiza unleashed her power, and King Piccolo screamed. Or at least, he thought he did. He had no idea – her power was overwhelming! King Piccolo couldn’t even hear his own voice over the sound of her energy and his blood pumping in his ears. What… what was she doing to him! How could she be this powerful! His entire body felt like it was being electrocuted, but in a good way. Somehow, strangely enough… this felt amazing! It was just – warmth! Not just warmth. Sparks, electricity… King Piccolo had no idea how to describe it. He felt shivers running up and down his spine; he felt a hot tingling in every one of his nerves. He felt an overwhelming elation, like he was about to… Oh, fuck. No. No, this couldn’t be over yet! He had to finish this – he had to finish it inside her! Oh, how he wanted her body…   
“Piccolo…?” Frikiza’s voice came from beside him. “Are you okay?”  
“Y… Yes.” King Piccolo gasped. He sank his claws into the bed sheets and gritted his teeth in a desperate attempt to keep himself under control. He looked at Frikiza, and his fingers started itching as he felt a sudden urge to grab her. “Get on me.” King Piccolo ordered.  
“Are you sure?” Frikiza asked cautiously.  
“ _ **That wasn’t a question**_!” King Piccolo roared. “Do it before I kill you!”  
“Okay!” Frikiza squealed and climbed onto King Piccolo’s lap. “Whatever you say, Master.”  
“Ohhhh _Frikiza_!” King Piccolo groaned, throwing his head back against the headboard as that name sent him into another dimension. “How did you know to say that?”  
“I know how to please you, King Piccolo.” Frikiza purred, placing her lips on his neck. King Piccolo turned his head to allow her better access, uttering a low moan as she kissed his sensitive skin. There was something about this power… It heightened his senses. Her touch, it… it felt unbelievable. He’d never felt anything so intense, so powerful. How was she doing this to him…? “Let me please you, Sire…” Frikiza whispered into King Piccolo’s ear, causing him to tighten his grip on the bed.

King Piccolo bit his lip and tried to contain himself as Frikiza shifted her weight to move herself closer to him. He felt himself touch her, and then he felt her around him… Ohhh God that was good… King Piccolo looked up as Frikiza let out a small whimper, and her face twisted in pain for a brief moment. Was he hurting her…? Even when she was in such a powerful form?   
“You okay?” King Piccolo uttered. Why had he asked that? He didn’t care – he couldn’t stop this now. Oh there was no way he could stop this… Her body felt too amazing. “Yeah.” Frikiza breathed, and stared back at him. “Fuck me, Master.”

King Piccolo exhaled sharply, and barely had time to breathe before Frikiza’s arms were around his neck and her lips were against him, her tongue pushing itself into his mouth. Her tongue felt different in this form… but it was good. Ohhh it was so good. Everything about her was good. Those boobs, those lips, that ass, those hips… King Piccolo closed his eyes and let out a loud moan as Frikiza moved those gorgeous hips of hers down onto him, allowing all of him into her. Oh, fuck. It was so warm, it was so tight… This _had_ to be hurting her.   
“Frikiza…” King Piccolo breathed hoarsely, placing his hands around her waist. He held his palms on her ass and groped her hungrily, his face plunging itself into her breasts with an open mouth. Mmm, she tasted so sweet. Her ass was so toned. Her tail…

Frikiza let out a short gasp followed by a moan as King Piccolo moved his hands to curiously sweep across the base of her tail.  
“P-Piccolo…” She whimpered. “Master…”   
“Mmm…” King Piccolo groaned from the depths of her chest and his hungry hands trailed across Frikiza’s tail and onto her hips. He dug his claws into her flesh, then yanked her down fiercely and forced himself up to her, causing Frikiza to scream. Oh, that scream… It was driving him wild! King Piccolo did it again, and let out a moan as the blissful sound of Frikiza’s scream flooded his ears.

King Piccolo’s excitement grew when Frikiza grabbed him. She kissed him so fiercely it hurt his lips and when her tongue was finished with his mouth she keenly moved it onto his antennae. She attacked them just as fiercely as she had done his mouth, and then drew her lips away just long enough to breathlessly pant to him,  
“Fuck me, Master.” Oh, **yes**!

King Piccolo let out an animalistic snarl, and then it became like a battle. He violently threw himself up towards Frikiza and she came down on him just as hard, each time uttering a loud scream that drove King Piccolo wild. He kissed her fiercely and while his rough tongue charged through the depths of her mouth his lustful hands grabbed every inch of her flesh. He couldn’t get enough of her. Her smell, her touch, her taste, her warmth, her _body_! She was driving him crazy! He sank his teeth into her breasts; he bit them and sucked at them and pushed his face into them, leaving teeth marks and claw marks on her flesh as he excitedly attacked her breasts with his mouth and hands. He kissed and bit her neck; he tugged at her ass and clawed at her back, drawing moan after moan from Frikiza’s swollen, abused lips, and every moan only made King Piccolo more excited and more aggressive. He couldn’t help it, he was going wild with her! He could do whatever he wanted; he could grab her with all the force in his body and she could handle it. Oh hell, could she handle it! She loved his fierceness! She did it back to him. She bit him all over, and she kissed him all over and clenched her muscles around him, making herself so tight King Piccolo thought she was going to break him. Oh, but what a way to be broken…

King Piccolo’s eyes rolled into the back of his skull as Frikiza forced her gorgeous body onto him. She threw her head back and moaned loudly, clawing at his back and screaming as he charged at her. Then Frikiza threw herself onto his lips, kissing him so hard King Piccolo could feel it right through to his jaw, and when Frikiza was done with his mouth she moved back onto his antennae… Oh, hell…   
“Frikiza…” King Piccolo panted breathlessly, amidst the surge of her power and the wild movements of their bodies. He heard Frikiza whimper back, refusing to tear her lips away from his antennae long enough to speak. King Piccolo couldn’t reply. He was made speechless by the divine organ that was Frikiza’s tongue on his antennae, and he didn’t even know what he would say. Just… don’t stop… “Ohh…” King Piccolo groaned and plunged his face into her chest, tightening his grip on her ass. He sank his claws into her flesh and moaned deeply. Oh, this was good… Yes… “Oh, Frikiza…” He tried to contain himself. He didn’t want this to end. He didn’t want to leave her warm, tight body. He didn’t want to pull away from her breasts; he didn’t want to let go of her ass. Ohhhh but she was driving him to it… Oh, _yes_ … King Piccolo let out a loud moan as an overwhelming elation flooded his body, and their mating was over. 

They both sat breathlessly for a while, panting heavily. King Piccolo leaned back against the headboard and loosened his grip on Frikiza, and eventually she built up the strength to climb off him. She rolled onto her back and lay there beside him with her eyes closed, her breaths still heavy.  
“… S… So…” Frikiza uttered after she’d gained enough of her breath back to speak. She opened her eyes and looked up at King Piccolo. “What do you think of my second form?”  
“It’s… good.” King Piccolo uttered, causing her to laugh a little. He stretched out his back and groaned in satisfaction. “That was good.”  
“Yeah?” Frikiza smiled. Yeah… It was good. He had such a good body, and he was so rough… Was that his first time? Frikiza had to assume, because he’d never even kissed anybody before… But he was so good at it! He knew just how to please her, and he was so confident! He’d done whatever he wanted to her, without being nervous or afraid… He definitely didn’t act like a first-timer. He’d liked it, as well… Did that mean he wanted to do it again sometime? Should she ask him…? No… That was too clingy, wasn’t it? Then again, if she didn’t ask now, it would be too awkward to ask later. … Screw it, she should just do it. Frikiza looked at King Piccolo and smiled a little. “Would you… want to do it again?” She asked.  
“Yeah.” King Piccolo answered quickly, staring at her chest and the way it was still heaving. It was covered in teeth marks and claw marks. There were claw marks on her hips and ass, teeth marks on her neck, bruising around her lips… He’d done that to her. He had done all of that to her, and she had let him. She had enjoyed it – she’d done it to him! It was so… so satisfying. So satisfying to know that those marks on those large breasts had been done by him, the Demon King Piccolo. He had claimed her breasts, and her lips, and her neck… and those wide hips, and those toned thighs… Oh, she was _delicious_. “Right now?” King Piccolo grinned.  
“Now?” Frikiza replied, her eyes widening. “You can go again?”  
“Can’t you?” King Piccolo shrugged. Yes, he wanted to do it again. That was great – of **course** he wanted to do it again! Immediately!   
“Yeah, but… are you… ready?” Frikiza asked cautiously, moving her eyes down to King Piccolo’s lower region.  
“Oh.” King Piccolo looked down to see that he wasn’t quite prepared. Dammit… “… Give me five minutes.” He reached down to place his hand around himself, when Frikiza’s tail stopped him. King Piccolo looked at Frikiza questionably, and she stared back with a mischievous smirk on her lips.  
“Give me four.” Frikiza purred, and stretched out her fingers. King Piccolo watched and his eyes lit up with delight as Frikiza wrapped her soft palm around him.  
“Okay.” King Piccolo beamed, and in four minutes they did it again.


	16. The Aftermath

It was early morning, and King Piccolo awoke to find himself somewhere that wasn’t the spare room. The walls were red, the furniture was black… He recognised it, from what he’d assumed had been a dream. This was Frikiza’s room. Had he really woken up here…? Everything that had happened last night – had it not been a dream? King Piccolo turned his head to see Frikiza fast asleep beside him. Well… They’d at least slept together, even if they hadn’t had sex. Or was this a dream as well…? King Piccolo cautiously raised his claws to the base of his antennae, and pinched himself.  
“Ow!” He hissed as a strong, sharp pain shot through his head. No. This was definitely **not** a dream.

Frikiza started to stir beside King Piccolo, disturbed by his flinching. He watched her for a moment to see if she would wake up, but she didn’t. She just shifted slightly, and then settled back into sleep. Well… King Piccolo could hardly blame her. If last night hadn’t been a dream, she was no doubt exhausted. He smirked smugly as he recalled it. First she’d sat on him and they’d done it with her on his lap. Then Frikiza had used her hand to get him back in the mood, and he’d pinned her down onto the bed and held her legs behind her head… King Piccolo almost moaned as he recalled it. Oh how she’d squirmed underneath him; how she’d groaned and screamed… It was so sexy. Frikiza was so sexy. After King Piccolo had held her down and violated her they’d done it a third time – and that really was like a battle. He’d been on top of Frikiza, and then she’d been on top of him – in fact King Piccolo couldn’t recall how many times they’d rolled around the bed in their fight for dominance. She was so resilient. King Piccolo could do whatever he wanted to Frikiza and she loved every second of it. He could bite her as hard as he wanted, he could tug at her flesh and kiss her as fiercely as his own body would allow and no amount of force was too much for her. Then, what she did to him… Ohhh, what she did to him. Dying had done him less damage! King Piccolo could still feel the weight of Frikiza’s tongue against his gums; he could still feel the force of her lips on his. He could still feel her nails digging deep in his back; he had a mark to go with every one of her screams. Her sexy, passionate screams… Damn, she knew how to excite him. He’d only stopped because he’d exhausted himself, and then he’d had the deepest sleep he’d had in years. 

King Piccolo rolled onto his side and stared at Frikiza, studying his prey. She was sleeping on her front, in her first form. Frikiza had changed back into it when they’d finally surrendered to sleep in the early hours of the morning. King Piccolo liked this form the most. Even though her second form felt so good, so good that he would spend the rest of his day thinking about it, he still thought her first form was the best. It was what King Piccolo was used to, and he did find it more attractive. He liked the smallness of her first form; he liked how innocent she looked next to him. How helpless… Oh, she was the kind of prey that any predator would desire. She was almost worth starving over. She was delicious…   
“Hm?”

King Piccolo frowned slightly when he suddenly noticed a few marks on Frikiza’s neck. They were bite marks. Where did she get those? He’d bitten her plenty of times last night, but that was in her second form. Did the injuries transfer over? The marks weren’t as big now though, but in proportion with her smaller neck size… How interesting. The marks were definitely from him; they were less than a day old. Had all of her marks transferred onto her first form? King Piccolo slid the duvet off Frikiza a little to study her back. It was coated in claw marks. They travelled all the way down her back, from where he’d grabbed her, and scratched her and thrown her… There were marks on her hips from where he’d held her tight, and handprints on her ass… Damn, she looked good. He felt like he’d marked his territory; like he’d claimed her. King Piccolo had claimed that slender little neck, and those large soft breasts, and those round hips and that firm ass… _Ooo_. 

King Piccolo shivered, and he started to feel funny. She was so sexy… He wanted to have another go at her. Now. While she was lying there, naked and claimed. Not in her second form, though. King Piccolo wanted her in this one. The form he’d first been attracted to; the form that had invaded his dreams and made him fantasise about her. He didn’t care if he couldn’t fit all the way in; he was so horny right now he wouldn’t last ten minutes even if he did. Oh, just to have even half of him in that tiny body, watching her squirm and scream underneath him… The very thought of it was driving him wild!

King Piccolo moved his body over Frikiza and held himself above her back. He buried his face in her neck and started to kiss her, rubbing himself against the base of her tail to ease the growing pressure he felt in his lower region. Oh, she was delicious… King Piccolo bit Frikiza’s neck softly and placed a hand on her side. He glided his palm down her body until he finally reached the base of her tail, and then he held onto it as tightly as he could, causing Frikiza to stir.   
“Mm…” Frikiza uttered as she awoke from her slumber. She moved the tip of her tail to stroke King Piccolo’s head, and smiled a little. “Morning, Big Boy…” She mumbled sleepily.  
“Good morning.” King Piccolo purred enthusiastically into Frikiza’s neck, rubbing himself against her. He bit her neck again and ran his hand up and down the base of her tail, drawing a soft moan from Frikiza’s lips. King Piccolo had learned that last night – the base of her tail was like his antennae. It was the best way to induce arousal.

Frikiza smiled a little at the feeling of King Piccolo against her. It was nice… but…  
“Not now…” Frikiza uttered. “I’m too tired to transform.”  
“Good.” King Piccolo replied, and trailed his tongue along her flesh. She tasted so good… “I don’t want you to transform.”  
“But it won’t fit.” Frikiza answered, waking up a little more.  
“Trust me, it doesn’t need to go all the way in.” King Piccolo said, sliding his hands onto her hips and kissing her neck again. “I promise, Gorgeous. Half will be more than enough.”  
“But Piccolo…” Frikiza groaned, moving her hips towards him as he started to massage her lower back. “It’ll hurt.”  
“Oh, well…” King Piccolo smirked. “Then let me apologise in advance.”  
“Pic – **Hey**!” Frikiza cried out as King Piccolo suddenly yanked her bottom half up by her tail, and then an almighty scream erupted from Frikiza’s throat when she felt a sudden sharp, intense white pain flood her pelvic region. “Oh my God!” She screamed, scrunching her eyes shut and digging her nails into the bed. “Piccolo! It hurts!”  
“Oh my God you’re so tight!” King Piccolo gasped, closing his eyes in ecstasy as he finally acted out his very first Frikiza fantasy. He tugged fiercely on Frikiza’s tail and exhaled angrily when she tried to pull away, using her tail to yank her back towards him. “Don’t be such a weakling!” King Piccolo barked. “I thought you could handle pain – you’re supposed to be stronger than me!”  
“When was the last time somebody did **this** to you!” Frikiza yelled back. She gritted her teeth and sunk her face into her pillow, trying to ignore the pain as her body adjusted to it. It didn’t help that he was moving so quickly! But the pain started to subside, eventually… and then… “Oh my God…” Frikiza whimpered, biting her lip. “Oh my God…” She took a breath and dragged her nails across the bed sheets, then let out a low whine. “Ohh…” Frikiza groaned, her nails cutting into the mattress. “Harder…”  
“What was that?” King Piccolo’s voice came from somewhere above her.  
“I said har – **fuck**!” Frikiza screamed as King Piccolo followed her commands. “Oh, **_Piccolo_**!”

XXXXX

King Piccolo munched loudly and finally finished off his fiftieth serving of breakfast. He’d had an active few hours. After their wake-up session Frikiza had taken a shower. King Piccolo had gone in there to use the bathroom – he’d had no other intention… but then he’d seen her in the shower cubicle. Her sexy silhouette through the steam… That was it. Before he knew it he was in the cubicle with her, propping her up against its wall. That was in her first form as well – he preferred Frikiza’s first form. He could do less, but it was much more satisfying. The smaller power level was somewhat of a disappointment compared to Frikiza’s second form, but she was still powerful enough for King Piccolo, and her small frame made him feel so dominant. It was also much more snug, and Frikiza was much more responsive – she screamed louder in her first form. She moaned louder, and begged louder… and pleaded louder. _Mmm_. King Piccolo looked across the breakfast bar at her, and smirked to himself. Poor girl. She’d barely been able to get out of the shower, he had been so rough with her… But she was into that, wasn’t she? She seemed to be. She seemed to enjoy him being rough, even if it did leave her slightly strained.

Frikiza noticed King Piccolo looking at her, and blinked.  
“What?” She asked.  
“Nothing.” King Piccolo replied, and took a swig of his orange juice. Frikiza had insisted on him drinking something other than melon soda. He’d agreed, but only to shut her up. He still didn’t like her whining. That was something he would **never** like about her. “Feel better?” King Piccolo asked with an arrogant smirk.   
“A little.” Frikiza answered, her cheeks darkening as she smirked and looked away shyly. King Piccolo had decided to kiss Frikiza better when she went back into the bedroom, after she’d commented on what an impact he’d had on her. She’d seemed to enjoy it at the time… but ‘a little’? He was insulted!  
“Fine, then let’s fuck again.” King Piccolo demanded.  
“Are you sure?” Frikiza teased. “Don’t you want to have _another_ fifty breakfasts first?”  
“I would, but I can’t perform on a full stomach.” King Piccolo retorted. Frikiza rolled her eyes.  
“Whatever.” She sighed. “Anyway – the answer’s no. I need to take a break.”  
“What!” King Piccolo protested. Was she serious? “But what am I supposed to do about **this**?” King Piccolo snapped, pointing at his belt. Or more precisely, what was below it.

Frikiza giggled. He hated it when she did that…  
“Don’t worry.” Frikiza smiled. “I can still fix that.”  
“Oh yeah?” King Piccolo grunted. “How?” He watched as Frikiza parted her lips slightly, enough for him to see her slide her tongue along her teeth, slowly and seductively. “… Oh.” King Piccolo uttered, understanding what she meant. Well… He did like that tongue of hers, and he had wondered what it would feel like… down there. “… Okay.” King Piccolo nodded. “Come on, then.”  
“You’re so bossy.” Frikiza remarked. She hopped off her bar stool and made her way over to him.  
“So are you. At least my voice isn’t irritating.” King Piccolo argued.  
“We’ll see.” Frikiza replied. She flashed him a wicked smile, and then she loosened his belt and lowered her lips to him.  
“… Oh.” King Piccolo choked when Frikiza made contact. “Oh, yeah…” He closed his eyes and let out a long, low moan. He _loved_ her mouth!

XXXXX

It was early afternoon, and after an entire morning with no word from their master, King Piccolo’s mutant sons were starting to worry. They were huddled together a few feet away from Frikiza’s house, wondering what they should do.  
“Maybe he really did kill her.” Drum gasped.  
“Drum! Of course he hasn’t killed her!” Piano scolded.  
“You don’t think he has it in him?” Cymbal questioned.  
“Piano, he does like her, right? I mean, every time he denies it – you don’t believe him, do you?” Tambourine said.  
“Well… I’m not sure. I hope he likes her.” Piano replied. “But what I meant was – he can’t have killed her, because his power is microscopic compared to hers.” 

The other mutants gasped, horrified that Piano could speak so terribly of their master. Piano looked at them, and a worried look came across his face. “Uh… don’t tell King Piccolo I said that.” He said sheepishly. His brothers smirked, and nodded.  
“Okay.” They grinned.  
“But – I’m still worried about Frikiza.” Cymbal said. “Neither of them have come out all day –” He suddenly let out a loud, frightful gasp and his eyes widened. “Guys! What if he’s holding her hostage!” Cymbal cried.  
“Or maybe she finally snapped and killed him!” Tambourine wailed, suddenly looking worried. The mutants all looked at Tambourine, and their eyes widened.  
“Let’s go find out.” Piano gasped, and he and the mutants raced over to Frikiza’s door. 

XXXXX

Back in Frikiza’s house, Frikiza and King Piccolo were lying together on the sofa, watching as the end credits of a movie appeared on Frikiza’s TV.  
“Thank God.” King Piccolo groaned.  
“You didn’t like it?” Frikiza replied.  
“Tch. No. It was revolting.” King Piccolo spat. After breakfast Frikiza had attempted to drag King Piccolo into another counselling session, which had quickly turned into a heated bedroom session. King Piccolo had wanted another round, but Frikiza had told him she would only do it if he watched a movie with her. She had hoped he would respond to a movie better than he did counselling – it was about love and trust and forgiveness… It had been a bad idea. Frikiza looked at King Piccolo, and it was immediately obvious that he had been bored throughout, and probably hadn’t even paid attention after the first five minutes. He’d managed to pay attention to snacking, though… Frikiza glanced down at the few dozen empty snack packets that were on the floor.  
“ _You’re_ revolting.” She scolded. “You’d better clean this up!”  
“Of course.” King Piccolo smirked. “If you satisfy me enough.”  
“Oh, don’t worry about that.” Frikiza replied, trying to hold back a flirtatious smirk as she glanced at him. “You’ll be begging me for more.”  
“Is that so?” King Piccolo challenged, positioning himself above her. “Well you can start by bending over.” He grabbed hold of Frikiza’s waist and listened to her giggling as he threw her onto the arm of the chair, facing down. He loosened his belt and pulled down his pants, and was just about to lift up her pale purple robe when there was a knock at the door.  
“Oh – I have to get that!” Frikiza gasped.  
“What!” King Piccolo cried. “You can’t be serious!”  
“Of course I am! I’m a counsellor – it might be one of my clients!” Frikiza protested.  
“So tell them you’ve taken the morning off!” King Piccolo snapped.  
“It’s not morning anymore.” Frikiza argued. “And I can’t do that! I’m their counsellor – and some of my clients actually put a lot of trust in me, you know. I have to be there for them when they need me.”  
“I’m your client! King Piccolo wailed. “I need you! I need you to stay right here and do as I say – I didn’t watch that stupid movie for nothing!”  
“I know – and you’ll get it, I promise.” Frikiza giggled, pushing him away. She jumped off the sofa and smiled at King Piccolo as he glared at her angrily. “Just give me a few minutes, then I’m all yours.” She kissed his cheek and stroked her finger up his antennae, causing Piccolo to turn away and let out a sharp, frustrated sigh.  
“You have five minutes.” He grunted. Frikiza just laughed, and headed for the door.

When she opened the door, Frikiza blinked in surprise to see King Piccolo’s mutant children standing there.  
“Frikiza!” The mutants greeted her excitedly.  
“You’re alive!” Drum beamed.  
“What?” Frikiza uttered, and laughed. “Of course I am! Your father isn’t that tough, you know.”  
“ **I heard that**!” King Piccolo yelled from somewhere in the background.  
“Oh, great! He’s alive too!” Tambourine grinned.  
“Yeah – we thought you might have finally snapped and killed him.” Cymbal said.  
“Oh. Well… no.” Frikiza sweat dropped. “Sorry to worry you, Boys… Me and Piccolo are fine, we’re just… uh…” She paused for a moment, trying to think of something to say. “We’re… just having a few back to back counselling sessions – in private.”  
“Oh.” The mutants uttered, staring in confusion at Frikiza’s face. She seemed to by lying… And why was she wearing that robe? That was the similar to the robe Frieza wore when he wasn’t dressed properly…  
“Frikiza, is it just the boys there?” King Piccolo’s voice came again.  
“Yeah.” Frikiza answered.  
“Okay.”

The mutants gasped when King Piccolo emerged at the doorway behind Frikiza. He was shoeless and shirtless, and his belt was loosened. He looked down at the mutants and began to speak. “Listen.” King Piccolo grunted. “We’ve been having sex since last night – and we plan to do it for the rest of the day, so if you don’t mind – _get out of here_.” He glared fiercely at the mutants, warning them to run away, but to King Piccolo’s surprise his children didn’t tremble in fear, nor did they leap out of their skin or cower away in fright. Actually… They were smiling. Albeit, awkwardly smiling…  
“O-Oh…” Tambourine uttered, his cheeks darkening. “Uh…” He looked at King Piccolo and Frikiza, and grinned sheepishly.   
“S-Sorry to disturb you, Sire… And Frikiza…” Piano said, holding back a smirk.  
“It’s okay.” Frikiza smiled. “It’s sweet that you were worried about us. You’re such nice boys.”  
“Um…” Drum began. “Frikiza…” He looked at her. “Does this mean you’re our mother now?”  
“ ** _No_**!” King Piccolo roared. “Let me make one thing clear: we are **not** a couple. She isn’t my girlfriend, or my wife – we’re just having sex. We have absolutely **no** interest in starting a relationship at all, do I make myself clear?”  
“Y-Yes Sire…” The mutants nodded.  
“And another thing.” King Piccolo added. “Nobody is to know about this. Do you understand? _Nobody_.”  
“Understood, Sire.” The mutants replied.  
“Good.” King Piccolo grunted. “Now, if you’ll excuse us… Frikiza. Come on.” He marched away from the door, towards Frikiza’s bedroom.

The mutants all moved their eyes to Frikiza, and tried their best not to blush as they looked at her. Frikiza simply giggled.  
“He’s very demanding, isn’t he?” She smirked. “I might have to use my final form on him.”  
“Your… your what?” Piano uttered.  
“He’ll tell you all about it.” Frikiza said. “I guess I’ll see you guys in the meeting?”  
“Oh… you’re still going?” Tambourine questioned.  
“Of course!” Frikiza insisted. “It’s important that Piccolo attends his classes – we’ll be there.”  
“ ** _What_**!” King Piccolo’s voice thundered through the house again. Frikiza glanced towards his voice, then looked at the mutants.  
“Sorry, I have to go. I’ll see you in class!” She said hurriedly, and shut the door before the mutants could respond.

Inside the house Frikiza turned around to see King Piccolo standing there with his arms folded, glaring at her.  
“I’m not going to that class.” He snarled.  
“Well that’s a shame.” Frikiza shrugged. “Because I am, so if you don’t come you’ll be here on your own.”   
“Dammit Frikiza, I hate those classes!” King Piccolo yelled. “What is wrong with you! I’m having sex with the class leader – that should mean I get the benefit of not attending my classes!”  
“No it doesn’t!” Frikiza argued, unable to keep herself from laughing a little. He was so childish! “It just means you get the benefit of having sex with me.”  
“Oh, really?” King Piccolo snorted. “And what great benefit is that?”  
“Well… I guess you’ll have to find out, won’t you?” Frikiza replied, pulling off her cloak. She smirked at King Piccolo and winked. “After all, this isn’t even my final form.”

XXXXX

Meanwhile, outside Frikiza’s door the mutants were still dealing with the news that King Piccolo and Frikiza were ‘almost’ an item.  
“This is great!” Tambourine exclaimed. “This is what we wanted all along, right? She’ll tone him down for certain!”  
“He’ll learn to laugh and have fun… and he’ll stop being mean to us!” Cymbal beamed.  
“And she’ll be our mom, won’t she?” Drum smiled, dreamily gazing into his fantasy. “I always wondered what it would be like to have a mother… If he marries her, then –”  
“Now now, let’s not get ahead of ourselves.” Piano interrupted, holding up his hands. “You heard King Piccolo. They **aren’t** an item and he isn’t interested in her. They’re just… … well… having sex.”  
“Oh, but how long’s that gonna last?” Cymbal reasoned.  
“Yeah – they’re bound to get together eventually.” Tambourine nodded. “Don’t you think so, Piano?”  
“Well…” Piano uttered, and smiled a little. “I… I hope so.”  
“Yeah!” His mutant brothers all exclaimed.  
“Hey, but… what was Frikiza talking about when she said her final form?” Drum questioned, and looked at his fellow mutants. “Does she have more than one form?”  
“Yeah, that kind of puzzled me too…” Cymbal admitted, and looked at Piano and Tambourine for advice. “Guys?”  
“Beats me.” Tambourine shrugged. “Maybe it’s an icejin thing.”  
“Yes, some sort of power-up, perhaps…” Piano nodded, considering what Frikiza might have meant. “After all, I don’t think icejins can change their appearance… I’ve never seen Frieza do it.”  
“But why would you? We just go over there to pick up spy-screens.” Drum replied. “Maybe it is possible… Frieza doesn’t look all that much like his father, right? Maybe that’s because they’re shape-shifters.”  
“No – Drum, you’re wrong there.” Tambourine argued. “He’s smaller than his father, but Frieza _does_ look like him. He has his father’s eyes.”  
“I think he looks more like Coola.” Cymbal said. “Maybe Frieza and Coola are adopted…”   
“Oh, don’t be ridiculous!” Piano scolded. “Who would want to adopt those two! They must be blood related.”  
“Yeah, but…” And the mutants continued to talk about Frieza’s bloodline. 

Elsewhere, not too far away from Frikiza’s house, an eavesdropping Dr. Gero was hiding behind a rock. He’d just overheard the entire conversation, and could barely believe his ears. Frikiza and… King Piccolo? How unexpected… And how disgusting!  
“What a waste.” Dr. Gero muttered angrily, and let out a sigh. “Come on. Let’s go.” He tugged on the leash that was wrapped around his wrist, and started to drag all seven Cell Juniors along behind him. 

XXXXX

“Hurry up Dodoria, there’s an awful draft.” Zarbon said, and smirked over at his comrade as the larger alien rebuilt the wall of Frieza’s cave that Frikiza had obliterated.   
“Shut up, Zarbon!” Dodoria snarled, glaring at him. “Why do I have to do this anyway? We should have got those runts to do it.”  
“Do you mean my children?” Cell hissed, shooting Dodoria a deadly glance. “Because if you do, then allow me to explain why you are doing that instead of them… _They_ are not insignificant slaves that I could kill with my fingernail – do you understand?” He narrowed his eyes at Dodoria, causing him to timidly back off.  
“Mm. That’s right, Dodoria.” Frikiza uttered, pulling his wine glass away from his lips. “Because if they were slaves, they would know how to behave.”  
“Oh, shut up, Frieza.” Cell spat. “They know how to behave just fine!”  
“Oh, so is that why the guards released them early?” Zarbon sniped, narrowing his eyes at Cell. “For good behaviour? Not because those things are so unbearable even the guards of hell can’t stand their company?”  
“They were released because the guards realised how wrong it was to imprison children!” Cell argued.   
“Uh-huh.” Frieza, Zarbon and Dodoria all grunted, not believing him.   
“Bastards.” Cell muttered angrily.   
“ ** _Papa_**!” 

Cell’s spirits were soon lifted when he heard the cry of his children, and he turned round to see all seven Cell Juniors charging at him.  
“Hi Boys – Whoa!” Cell cried out as the Juniors knocked him to the floor. “Okay, settle down…” He sweat dropped.  
“Tch. They don’t know what that means.” Dr. Gero remarked as he walked in behind the children. “I need a drink.”  
“Sit down, Dodoria will get you one.” Frieza replied, and moved his eyes to Dodoria. 

Dodoria sighed, but obediently fetched Dr. Gero a glass of wine.  
_“The entire population of Planet Vegeta is down here, why the hell can’t he get a couple of **them** to be his errand boy?”_ He thought to himself bitterly.   
“Did you have a good time with Grandpa – hm?” Cell frowned in confusion when he noticed that each of the Juniors had a collar and leash around their neck, the end of which was attached to Dr. Gero’s wrist. “Doctor – what is this?” He questioned.   
“Ah! My latest invention!” Dr. Gero beamed. “It’s the perfect tool to train these little brats – look.” He pressed his thumb into a button on his end of the leash, and the Cell Juniors all cried out as a jolt of electricity shot through them.  
“What!” Cell screamed, his eyes widening in horror as he watched the Juniors’ faces twisting in agony.   
“Oh, wonderful!” Frieza exclaimed.  
“Wonderful?” Cell gasped, and glared at Dr. Gero. “It’s horrible! I’m taking it off right now!”  
“Yeah – you can take it off after I’ve finished with their bath.” Dodoria said, and looked at Dr. Gero. “Do you mind?”  
“Of course.” Dr. Gero smirked, and handed Dodoria the leash. “Don’t feel shy about using it – I’ve tuned it so that it will use as high a voltage as possible without doing them any permanent harm.”  
“Great.” Dodoria beamed, and looked at the Cell Juniors. “Come on, Kids – time for your bath.”  
“ _ **No**_!” The Cell Juniors yelled, and they immediately started firing ki blasts at Dodoria. “No bath!”

Dodoria held his arms up to try and defend himself against their attacks, but his defences were pitiful against the power of the Cell Juniors. He gritted his teeth in pain as their ki blasts burnt his skin, then he glared up at the Juniors and pressed on the leash several times, sending jolt after jolt of electricity through the Juniors until they finally surrendered and stopped attacking him.  
“Wow…” Zarbon uttered, watching the scene in admiration.   
“Amazing…” Frieza gasped.  
“Are you… gonna come take your bath now?” Dodoria asked the Juniors cautiously, expecting them to take another shot at him.  
“Okay…”  
“Fine…” The Juniors all started mumbling reluctantly, and Dodoria grinned in delight.  
“Thanks, Doc!” He beamed. “This is great!”  
“You’re welcome. It’s about time somebody gave those runts the beating they deserved.” Dr. Gero replied, shooting Cell a disapproving glance. “If their father isn’t going to do it.”  
“Shut up.” Cell growled. Dodoria sniggered nastily, and tugged on the leash.  
“Come on – and don’t you **dare** try to drown me, otherwise you’re getting zapped!” He snarled, and left the room with the Cell Juniors following reluctantly behind.

Zarbon watched the Juniors leave with wide eyes, shocked at how well they were behaving.   
“My, Doctor.” He gasped. “That might just be the greatest thing you’ve ever created.”  
“Really, Zarbon?” Cell hissed, glaring at him angrily. “The _greatest_ thing he’s ever created?”  
“Yes.” Zarbon replied with a sinister smirk. “I can’t think of anything better. Can you, Cell?”  
“Stop it.” Frieza sighed, and used his tail to block Cell’s path as the android advanced on Zarbon. “Can’t we all just get along for a few minutes?”  
“Oh, speaking of getting along,” Dr. Gero began. “I’ve just been past Frikiza’s house – apparently she’s fucking that oaf King Piccolo.”

Frieza, Cell and Zarbon all turned their attention away from each other to stare at Dr. Gero.  
“Really?” Frieza gasped.  
“Mm.” Dr. Gero nodded. “I heard him telling his monsters.”  
“Well, it’s about time.” Zarbon smirked. “I was starting to think it would never happen.”  
“Yeah, me too…” Cell growled bitterly, suddenly looking annoyed. “So, what – is she evil now?”  
“Well, she still wants him to go to those classes.” Dr. Gero shrugged. “So I suppose not.”  
“Give her time. She can’t get that close to him without him bringing out her evil side.” Frieza said.  
“What makes you think she has an evil side?” Dr. Gero questioned.  
“Trust me.” Frieza smirked, his eyes twinkling darkly. “She does.”

At that moment Dodoria walked in, and frowned at the looks on everyone’s faces.  
“What’s going on?” He asked.  
“Frikiza hooked up with Piccolo.” Zarbon answered.   
“What!” Dodoria gasped, his eyes widening. “Seriously?”  
“Yes.” Dr. Gero replied. “They’re back at her house doing it right now – apparently they’ve been at it since last night.”  
“Oof! She must be sore.” Zarbon remarked.  
“Don’t be disgusting.” Frieza scolded.   
“Haha.” Dr. Gero sniggered slightly. “Well… If you ask me it’s a waste.” He frowned. “A beautiful girl like that – I’m not into aliens, but she can do better than him.” He moved his eyes to glare sternly at Cell. “You know, I’m disappointed in you. That could have been you staying at her place last night. She’s only one of the most powerful people down here – and she’s a billionaire!”  
“Oh Doctor, she has more money than that.” Frieza smirked arrogantly.   
“Fine, a trillionaire – whatever!” Dr. Gero growled. “The point is, that could have been you, Cell! If she can settle for that overgrown moron then she would jump through hoops for you! When are you going to get yourself a girlfriend?”  
“What?” Dodoria blinked, staring at Dr. Gero in confusion. “But –”  
“It’s all well and good you four living in this bachelor pad – but those runts need a mother!” Dr. Gero lectured. “You can’t be a single father forever, Cell. Half the reason they’re so out of control is because they don’t have a stable family environment.”  
“What are you talking about?” Dodoria frowned. “Dr. Gero – don’t you know that Frieza and Cell are –”  
“– Are perfectly happy living in this ‘bachelor pad’, thank you Doctor!” Cell cried, quickly appearing beside Dodoria to throw his arm around the pink man’s throat. “And actually – they **do** have a stable family environment! I don’t need a girlfriend to provide them with that!”  
“Hmph. I don’t know what sort of crap you absorbed from your victims, but _I_ never programmed that attitude into you.” Dr. Gero grunted. “Next you’ll be telling me you’re gay.”  
“But – **argh**!” Dodoria choked as Cell tightened his grip around his throat.  
“Don’t be ridiculous, Father.” Cell growled.  
“Well then. Get a girlfriend.” Dr. Gero ordered, rising out of his seat. “Actually, those two have only been at it since last night – so if you’re quick to dispose of King Piccolo then I’m sure Frikiza will be all over you. You _are_ my most perfect creation, after all.”  
“Apparently not…” Zarbon mumbled, causing Cell to shoot him an angry glare.   
“Anyway. I’ll have the kids again tomorrow – but make sure they have a nap first, they were manic today.” Dr. Gero snapped. “Bye.” And he left Frieza’s cave.

After he had gone Dodoria broke himself out of Cell’s loosened grasp and stared at him.  
“Okay – so he **doesn’t** know about you and Lord Frieza?”  
“No.” Cell hissed. “And he’s not going to. Understand?”  
“Oh, come on!” Dodoria whined. “So that’s King Kold, Coola, **and** Dr. Gero that I have to keep it from?”  
“And everyone from Planet Vegeta.” Frieza replied. “I don’t know why it’s such an issue, Dodoria. All you have to do is not tell anyone.”  
“But what if they find out anyway?” Dodoria protested.  
“Oh, I don’t think that’s very likely.” Frieza reasoned. “After all, when Zarbon and I were alive we were an item for four decades and nobody knew about that.”   
“Haha! Yeah, right! Good one, Lord Frieza!” Dodoria laughed loudly, but his laughter soon came to an end when he noticed Frieza glaring at him. Oh shit, he was serious. “Uh… yeah.” Dodoria sweat dropped. “That’s a good point, Lord Frieza. Nobody did know about you guys.”   
“Hm.” Cell uttered, sniggering a little at Dodoria’s squirming.   
“That’s right.” Frieza hissed. “Now. I’m going for a nap. Who would like to join me?”  
“Oh, since when did you have to ask?” Zarbon replied, and headed for Frieza’s bedroom.  
“Yeah – Dodoria, watch the kids.” Cell instructed.  
“What!” Dodoria cried. “But I was on watch duty last night!”  
“So I guess you know what you’re doing, then.” Cell smirked. “Oh – and if you ever almost tell Dr. Gero about us again… I’ll cut out your tongue, and pop your eyeballs, and then I’ll erase your very existence.” He smiled at Dodoria sweetly, his ki steadily rising to a dangerous level. “Understand?”  
“Uh… Yes, Sir.” Dodoria whimpered. “Enjoy your… secret.”  
“Thanks. Enjoy fixing the wall.” Cell winked, and he left the room with Frieza. 

Dodoria let out a long, loud sigh and returned to rebuilding Frieza’s wall.  
“Bastards.” He muttered to himself angrily. “Why do I have to keep all the secrets? Why do I have to fix the wall? Why do I have to look after those –” He stopped when he heard the sound of footsteps, and turned round to see all seven Cell Juniors staring at him with sinister smirks on their lips and ki balls in their palms.   
“We don’t like baths.” The eldest of the seven Juniors stated.  
“Yeah, well I bet you don’t like being electrocuted either, do you?” Dodoria smirked.   
“No.” The second Cell Junior replied. “That’s why we got this.” He raised his arm, and a look of horror swept across Dodoria’s face when he saw the owner’s end of the leash in the Cell Junior’s hand.  
“Oh, crap…” Dodoria uttered, and held up his hands defensively. “Uh – Kids… You know it’s not nice to blast Uncle Dodoria – _**arrrrrrrrrrrrgh**_!” His scream echoed all through the house as he was struck by the Juniors’ ki attacks, and the new wall Dodoria had been working on came tumbling down.


	17. Frikiza's Fate

“Humm mmm mmm mmm…” Piano cheerfully hummed to himself as he dusted away the cobwebs in King Piccolo’s cave. That was the problem with Hell, it was such a filthy place to live. No amount of cleaning seemed to make the nameks’ cave any more pleasant… But, as luck would have it, a certain someone had been making the cave a very pleasant place to live recently.  
“I’m back!” Drum called as he entered the cave, grabbing Piano’s attention. Piano glanced over at Drum, and frowned a little when he saw two spy-screens in Drum’s arms. That wasn’t right… Drum had been to buy more screens from Frieza, but Piano knew they had enough chocolate to buy more than that!  
“Only two?” Piano questioned.  
“Yeah – and for ten bars! Frieza wants five bars each now!” Drum growled. “And I swear it all goes to those little brats – they don’t deserve chocolate!”  
“But still… we had fifteen bars.” Piano stated. “So why have you only bought two screens?”  
“King Piccolo said he only wanted two.” Drum shrugged.  
“So what are we supposed to do with the other five bars?” Piano asked.  
“Oh – King Piccolo said we can keep them.” Drum answered, a wide grin spreading across his face.  
“What!” Piano gasped. “All – all five?”  
“Yep!” Drum beamed. “So we can have a whole bar each – and they’re different flavours! King Piccolo said to give the plain stuff to Frieza.”  
“My…” Piano uttered.

This was wonderful! King Piccolo was so generous these days. He had ‘not’ been in a relationship with Frikiza for just over a month now, and little by little he had become more tolerable. At first he’d started out by letting his four mutant sons share a bar of chocolate between them. It was always an unpopular flavour, one that Frieza would be reluctant to accept anyway… Then King Piccolo had allowed the mutants to upgrade to the odd half of milk chocolate between them every one in a while, then a whole bar… and now this. They could have a bar each! Oh, this was wonderful! Piano couldn’t believe how much the demon king had transformed! It wasn’t just his new generosity – he was so much calmer these days. He was far less angry and much more at peace with himself… and he didn’t seem to be quite so obsessed with watching Junior every second of the day. Well… Then again, he didn’t have time to. Frikiza kept King Piccolo busy, to say the least… It was almost sickening; they were so loud!  
“I know, right?” Drum grinned excitedly. “But listen – the butterscotch one is mine! Make sure nobody takes it!”  
“Of course.” Piano smiled. “Well – now that you’re back you can give me a hand. Grab a mop, would you?”  
“Tch.” Drum snorted. “What’s the point? The floor’s never clean anyway.”  
“Yes, but… You remember what they said in class. ‘Cleaning one’s environment is the first step to cleaning one’s mind’.” Piano recited from his rehabilitation classes. “Frikiza will be impressed if you do it.”  
“Oh – you think so?” Drum uttered, perking up. “Okay! I’ll grab a mop!” And he raced out of the room.  
“Get Cymbal as well! Tell him to come and help me scrub the walls!” Piano called after him, and then chuckled a little. At least he wasn’t the only one who was grateful for Frikiza’s presence. Drum seemed to do whatever it took to please Frikiza, just to make her stay. 

Piano continued with his dusting, until he was interrupted yet again.  
“Hey.” Tambourine’s voice came from somewhere nearby, and Piano noticed Tambourine entering the room out of the corner of his eye. He was carrying a pile of laundry – bed sheets, to be precise. Frikiza had been so impressed with the mutants’ efforts at their rehabilitation classes that she’d given them all a futon to sleep on, instead of the cold hard surface of the cave floor. It had done wonders for the mutants’ sleep quality, and Piano was particularly grateful that his usual morning backache had started to become a thing of the past. Oh, what a blessing Frikiza was… He wished she never had to leave! Her contract in this universe was up in three weeks, but Frikiza had agreed with King Yemma that if she stayed in her own universe for a month, she could return here for another three-month period. Piano dreaded what life would be like without her. One month was a long time in King Piccolo’s cave… Piano sincerely hoped King Piccolo didn’t return to his old ways in Frikiza’s absence. Still… once Frikiza came back, she would no doubt soften him again. She had such a calming way about her… “I’m going to wash these in the Blood Pond.” Tambourine said.   
“Oh, don’t wash King Piccolo’s. Frikiza doesn’t like the smell of blood.” Piano instructed.  
“Yeah I know – I don’t understand, it’s a beautiful smell.” Tambourine frowned.  
“Mm. Well… She had to have one fault, I suppose.” Piano agreed, and continued with his dusting while Tambourine left the cave. “Humm mmm mmm…”

XXXXX

“It means no worries, for the rest of your days!” Drum sang loudly and out of tune as he mopped the floor.  
“It’s our problem free…” Piano and Cymbal joined in, both out of tune and singing at different notes as they scrubbed the walls. “Philosophy…”  
“Hakuna matata!” All three mutants finished off.   
“Haha! I think you guys need singing lessons.” Cymbal sniggered. “You were awful.”  
“Hmph! I never heard a single right note coming from you, Cymbal.” Piano frowned. “Anyway… it’s a silly thing to do.”  
“I bet Frikiza can sing good.” Drum said. “Do you think she’d teach us?”  
“I… I wouldn’t like to ask.” Piano replied, his cheeks darkening slightly in embarrassment.  
“Hey, guys.” Cymbal began, a mischievous smirk forming on his lips. “Who does this song remind you of?” He cleared his throat and grabbed his tail, before singing in a high-pitched feminine voice, “There’s something sweet, and almost kind…”  
“Oh, Cymbal!” Piano gasped. Was he trying to imitate _Frikiza_? How disgusting! It was an insult – to both Frikiza and King Piccolo! Piano was appalled. … Still. He couldn’t hide a smirk.  
“But he was mean and he was coarse and unrefined…” Cymbal continued and batted his eyelashes, causing Piano and Drum to laugh. “But now he’s dear, and so unsure... I wonder why I didn’t see it there before.”  
“Alright.” Piano said sternly, forcing himself to stop laughing. “That’s enough –”  
“She glanced this way, I thought I saw!” Drum sang loudly in a deep, masculine voice, with his fingers pointed up on his head to represent antennae. Cymbal laughed and grabbed hold of Drum to dance with him as he sang, “And when we touched she didn’t shudder at my claws…”  
“Oh, stop it.” Piano giggled, and started laughing again as he watched his siblings dancing together. His laughter was short-lived however when a familiar figure caught his gaze at the cave’s entrance. Piano’s eyes widened in horror and he choked, “Guys… stop…”  
“No it can’t be, I’ll just ignore!” Drum continued to sing, oblivious to the new arrival. “But then she’s never looked at me that way be – … be…” And he and Cymbal stopped dead in their tracks, their eyes widening when they saw King Piccolo standing before them, accompanied by Frikiza.

The mutants swallowed nervously, and smiled at their master.  
“Uh… Hi, King Piccolo. Frikiza.” Drum uttered. “We… we were just…”  
“We were just… practising singing.” Cymbal said.  
“Yeah.” Drum nodded. “Uh…” He stared up at King Piccolo, who was glaring down at him with cold, fierce eyes. Even if he had mellowed out recently, King Piccolo still knew how to look scary! “What… What did you think?”

King Piccolo continued to glare down at his mutant children, then his lips formed into a cruel, evil smirk.  
“Oh, no…” Piano whispered, and he closed his eyes in fear of what was about to come.

XXXXX

Meanwhile, at Hell’s Bloody Pond, Tambourine gathered the cleaned laundry into his arms and was just about to head back to King Piccolo’s cave when an unfamiliar voice called to him,  
“Excuse me!” Tambourine looked up, and his jaw almost dropped.  
“Wow…” He gasped to himself.

He must be dreaming. Approaching him were three people, none of whom he recognised. One was an icejin male, and the other two were alien women, one shorter with pink skin and a bigger frame, and one… one _goddess_! She was beautiful… Tambourine felt his own breath catch in his throat. He wanted to speak but he couldn’t! She was… enchanting. Who was she…? 

The three strangers stopped before Tambourine, and the mysterious woman smiled at him.   
“Hi.” She said in what was almost a purr, and looked at him in a familiar sort of way, like she knew him. She didn’t know him, though. Tambourine would remember if he’d ever met _her_ before!  
“H…” He choked, trying to speak as he stared at the woman. She was taller than the pink girl and much slimmer. She had pale green skin and long, loose, dark green hair that glistened all the way down her back. Her lips shimmered with some kind of lipstick, and her eyes… Tambourine almost fainted. She had the most beautiful golden eyes… Who _was_ she?  
“What, are you a mute?” The woman uttered, frowning at him.  
“Uh – n-no!” Tambourine stammered, suddenly finding his voice. “Uh – no, ma’am! How can I help you?” Hm… That was weird. Now that he noticed, the energy of these people seemed different. Were they alive…? Yeah – they were alive! What the hell were three living people doing down here?  
“We’re looking for a girl named Frikiza.” The woman replied. “Do you know her? She’s part of his race.” And she pointed at the icejin man.   
“Oh – yeah, I know Frikiza.” Tambourine nodded. “She’s my father’s girlf- - uh…” He suddenly stopped to change his words. King Piccolo would erase Tambourine’s existence if he heard Tambourine calling Frikiza his girlfriend! “She’s uh… she’s his friend.” Tambourine said.  
“Oh, really?” The woman replied with a smirk. “Well… I’d hate to be a bother, but would you mind taking us to her?”  
“Oh – no bother.” Tambourine grinned. “They had a class, but they’ll probably go to King Piccolo’s cave afterwards. Right this way.” He turned and flew off, looking over his shoulder to make sure the three living beings were following him. Who were these people? What did they want with Frikiza? And who was this woman…? Tambourine looked ahead and held the laundry against him, trying his best not to look back at her. He suddenly found it hard to keep himself in the sky…

XXXXX

“Honestly King Piccolo, we weren’t mocking you!” Piano wailed, holding his hands up defensively as the demon king raised his arm above him. “We – we just like that song!”  
“Oh, really?” King Piccolo snarled. “So why have I never heard you sing it before?”  
“Well, uh…” Piano whimpered, struggling to think of something to say.  
“King Piccolo,” Cymbal uttered, rubbing his head where the demon king had just punched him. “We never felt like singing before.”  
“Yeah – we never felt this happy before.” Drum said.  
“Really?” Frikiza smiled. “Are the classes really helping that much?”  
“Yeah, a little…” Drum nodded, and blushed slightly. “But… it’s mostly you, Frikiza. You’ve really made a difference to King Pic - - uh…” His face darkened and his body stiffened as he felt the glares of Piano and Cymbal burning into him. “Uh…” He glanced at King Piccolo, and then looked at Frikiza. “I mean… to us. Just us four. I don’t think you’ve managed to change King Piccolo at all – has she, Sire?”

King Piccolo stared down at Drum with an angry glare, then snorted.  
“No.” He hissed sternly. “That’s right.”  
“Well… that’s a shame. He was my target.” Frikiza giggled, and went to sit down.   
“Tch. Then you have terrible aim.” King Piccolo retorted, and took a seat in his throne. “Anyway, where’s Tambourine?”  
“Oh – he went to wash the bed sheets in Bloody Pond, Sire.” Piano answered.  
“Bloody Pond?” Frikiza gagged. “Again?”  
“Yes – but don’t worry, he hasn’t taken King Piccolo’s.” Piano replied.  
“Good.” Frikiza frowned. “I’m going to buy you guys a washer – that blood smell is disgusting! I don’t know how you guys can sleep with it.”  
“I like it.” King Piccolo stated. He glanced at her and smirked, then spoke to her telepathically, _“You don’t mind when it’s **our** blood.”_  
_“That’s different…”_ Frikiza replied, blushing. 

Cymbal frowned slightly, watching as King Piccolo and Frikiza exchanged glances. He was smirking, and she was blushing… Cymbal sighed inwardly. Were they flirting again? Why didn’t they just become a real couple already? This ‘just sex’ thing was so complicated…  
“King Piccolo!”

King Piccolo, Frikiza and the mutants all looked up to see Tambourine standing in the entrance to King Piccolo’s cave. “Uh – there are two women here to see Frikiza. Should I let them in?”  
“Two women?” Frikiza blinked. “What do they look like?”  
“Well… one’s fat.” Tambourine answered. “And the other one, uh…” His cheeks darkened, and he lowered his eyes. “She’s… she’s…”  
_“Beautiful.”_ A female voice came from behind him, and the two women pushed past Tambourine.  
“Hey!” Tambourine cried, his eyes widening. “You can’t come in here without permission! I told you to wait outside!”  
“And I told you I’m not very patient.” The taller, green woman answered, and smirked. “But you’ll forgive me, right?”  
“Uh…” Tambourine choked, his cheeks growing even darker as she gazed at him. “It’s… it’s not up to me…”

King Piccolo grunted, and studied the women. Who the hell were these people? How dare they barge into his cave like that! Of course they would know Frikiza – they were just like her, they had no manners! But… they had an energy about them. They were alive… What would two living beings be doing down here…? … Oh, fuck. King Piccolo sighed angrily. More counsellors. That was all he needed. Well he wasn’t switching! Frikiza was his counsellor and he was sticking with her! Although… King Piccolo travelled his eyes down the green woman, and smirked. Well, maybe she could be his counsellor… as long as she was willing to provide the same service as Frikiza. How many forms did this enchanting creature have?  
“Guys!” Frikiza cried out, and raced over to the women. “What are you doing here?”  
“I’m sorry.” The pink woman began. “I know you told us not to come, but –”  
“So, this is the home of the legendary King Piccolo, is it?” The green woman purred, looking round. “It’s not very homely. How do you stand it here?”  
“What!” Cymbal cried. “We just cleaned this whole place!”  
“Yes, you won’t find it any more homely than this!” Piano frowned.  
“Oh… you’re making me feel sorry for you.” The woman smirked. “So,” She looked at Piano. “Who might you be?”  
“Oh – right.” Frikiza looked across King Piccolo and the mutants. “Guys – these are my friends Zarba and Doria. They’re from my universe.”  
“Zarba and Doria?” Drum uttered.  
“As in… Zarbon and Dodoria?” Piano choked, his eyes widening as he suddenly realised how much the women looked like Frieza’s companions.   
“Yes, that’s right.” Frikiza nodded. 

_What_? King Piccolo slammed his hand over his mouth and gagged, trying his best not to throw up. Ugh… so that woman was _Zarbon_? Disgusting! How could this be? The universe was **mocking** him! “Piccolo… are you okay?” Frikiza questioned, looking at him with concern.  
“Mm-hm!” King Piccolo grunted, and looked at Zarba again. How the hell was she so beautiful…? Really, she was a vision. … _**Gross**_!   
_“Whatever, I didn’t like her anyway.”_ He thought angrily to himself. Tch. She may be pretty, but she wouldn’t be as much fun as Frikiza. Actually, it was lucky that she was Zarbon – because now he wouldn’t be tempted by her, and so he wouldn’t be disappointed when she turned out to be nothing more than good looks. … Incredibly good looks…  
“Okay…” Frikiza mumbled. “Well – girls, this is King Piccolo, Piano, Cymbal, Drum and – I guess you know Tambourine?”  
“Well, he never told us his name.” Zarba replied, and smirked at Tambourine. “Nice to meet you. I guess you’re the cute one?”  
“Uh…” Tambourine stared at her with wide eyes and purple cheeks, trying to process who she was. Zarbon…? This was Zarbon…? … Whatever. It didn’t matter – Frikiza was Frieza, and she was still much better than him! This girl – Zarba – she was… she was… wait. “C-Cute?” Tambourine repeated, his body suddenly freezing. She thought he was cute…?  
“Hmm…”

Zarba seemed to lose interest in Tambourine and approached King Piccolo, studying him. “So, Frikiza.” She uttered. “This is your incubus?”  
_**“What**_!” The mutants all cried out, their eyes almost popping out of their heads.  
“ **Incubus**!” King Piccolo roared, glaring down at her. “How dare you –”  
“Well, you are a demon, aren’t you?” Zarba shrugged. “And you are fucking Frikiza?”  
“ _ **Zarba**_!” Frikiza shrieked, her face turning violet with embarrassment. “Shut up!” She looked at King Piccolo, horrified. “Piccolo – ignore her! She’s just kidding –”  
“Hmm… well you’re right, he is tall.” Zarba continued, seemingly oblivious to everyone else as she examined King Piccolo. King Piccolo flinched slightly as Zarba started to run her nail up his arm. “And he’s certainly muscular… but I wouldn’t call him ‘handsome’, Friki. He’s hardly an improvement on your last fling.” She looked over at Frikiza and smirked playfully.  
“Huh?” Cymbal uttered, and gasped as a thought entered his mind. He leaned over to Drum and whispered into his ear, “Hey… If Frieza and Zarbon are a couple, do you think Frikiza and Zarba were… you know?”  
“Oh…” Drum gasped. “I… I don’t know. I mean… does she…?” 

King Piccolo overheard their whispers and shot a deadly glare at Cymbal and Drum, silencing them immediately. Why the hell were they even thinking of that? King Piccolo did **not** need to picture Frikiza with anyone, let alone this – … King Piccolo looked down at Zarba, and his jaw dropped slightly. This… woman. Frikiza and… this woman…? … Wow. What an image… Frikiza would certainly be the dominant one. Maybe Zarba wouldn’t be much fun on her own, but with Frikiza… _Ooo_. A chill ran down King Piccolo’s spine. Well… They’d obviously broken up, but it did seem like Frikiza and this woman were still friends. Maybe they’d be willing to –  
“Zarba, don’t be so rude!” Frikiza scolded. “He isn’t ugly.”  
“Well, your standards must be lower than mine.” Zarba replied, and King Piccolo glared at her.  
“What is that supposed to mean, _Zarbon_?” He hissed.  
“Calling me ‘Zarbon’ is hardly an insult – he’s the most beautiful thing in this universe.” Zarba smirked. “And… don’t worry. From what I’ve heard, you could have the most handsome face in world, and it still wouldn’t be your best feature, _Incubus_.” She winked, causing King Piccolo and Frikiza to both turn bright purple.  
“Zarba! Shut **up**!” Frikiza squealed in embarrassment. “What the hell are you guys doing here anyway! You’re supposed to be at home with Glazio and Kuria!”  
“Frikiza… That’s what we came to talk to you about.” Doria said.

Frikiza looked at her, a look of panic sweeping across her face.  
“What happened?” She demanded.  
“It’s… it’s your mother and sister.” Doria replied. “They found the planet.”  
“What!” Frikiza screamed. “How!”  
“We’re still trying to find out.” Zarba answered, and made her way back over to Frikiza. “But don’t worry – we got Glazio out.”  
“Just Glazio!” Frikiza cried. “What about Kuria!”  
“Well – that’s the thing…” Doria mumbled. “They uh… they told Kuria that if she joined them, they’d let her live.”  
“… And…?” Frikiza uttered quietly, her eyes glistening.  
“Frikiza…” Zarba spoke softly. “She joined them.”  
“… Oh.” Frikiza choked. “… Okay.”

King Piccolo’s ki suddenly flared up. He clenched his fists and gritted his teeth so hard it made his jaw hurt. He couldn’t believe this… What a treacherous little bitch! King Piccolo knew about Kuria – Frikiza had told him about her not long after they’d started sleeping together. She was Frikiza’s daughter – her only child. She was the daughter of that loser Glazio, and she lived in hiding on a secret planet with her father, guarded by… well. These two women, apparently – and apparently not very well. Frikiza said her family didn’t know about this planet… how had it been found? And how had – was King Piccolo understanding this correctly? Had Frikiza’s child willingly betrayed her own mother? The _**traitor**_!  
“Frikiza!” King Piccolo roared. “What do you mean, ‘okay’? Your daughter has betrayed you!”  
“Piccolo…” Frikiza growled. “Leave it.”  
“No!” King Piccolo barked, standing up. “So what does this mean? She has agreed to kill you? How can you tolerate that!”  
“What choice did she have!” Frikiza yelled. “They were going to kill her!”  
“So let them!” King Piccolo snarled. “If she can betray you it’s all she deserves!”  
“What the hell are you talking about!” Frikiza hissed. “Are you saying you’d rather watch your child die than take her only chance for survival?”  
“ **Yes**!” King Piccolo cried. “That’s exactly what I’m saying!”  
“You’re full of crap.” Frikiza spat. “You don’t believe that. If Junior had to kill you or he’d be killed himself, you would want him to save his own life!”  
“No I wouldn’t!” King Piccolo argued. “I’d kill him as soon as he tried to come near me.”  
“Whatever. I don’t believe you.” Frikiza pouted.  
“Why wouldn’t you believe me? Junior and I don’t have a good relationship, Frikiza!” King Piccolo snarled.  
“Maybe, but he’s still your - -” Frikiza stopped, and suddenly gasped. “Glazio!” She looked at Zarba and Doria frantically. “Where is he? Is he okay?”  
“He’s fine – he’s outside.” Zarba answered. “We told him to wait…” She smirked a little, and glanced at King Piccolo. “Just in case your new boyfriend got jealous.”  
“I’m not her boyfriend!” King Piccolo yelled, and glared at Frikiza. “Frikiza, did you tell them that –”  
“I told them we aren’t a couple!” Frikiza snapped.  
“It’s true, she did.” Doria nodded.   
“Oh… my mistake.” Zarba said. “I must have gotten confused, because you’re so obviously worried about Frikiza.”  
“I am **not** worried about her.” King Piccolo snarled, his ki rising even more as his anger grew. “Let her get killed by her daughter, I don’t care!”  
“Oh, good.” Zarba smirked, and put her arm around Frikiza. “So you won’t mind if my ex-girlfriend has a private, intimate word with her ex-husband, who still cares for her _very_ deeply?”  
“Be my guest.” King Piccolo seethed, his vision turning black with anger. Oh, this woman really knew how to push his buttons. And he thought Frikiza was bad! No wonder they broke up.  
“Glazio…” Frikiza gasped, staring out of the cave at the icejin man who was hovering in the distance. “… Excuse me,” She uttered, turning to the others. “I won’t be long.” She flew out of the cave before any of them could reply.

XXXXX

Meanwhile, over at Frieza’s cave Cell was standing at the cave’s entrance, staring at an icejin man in the distance, who was now being approached by Frikiza. He raised his eyebrow in surprise when the two embraced, and started speaking. Cell tried to lip-read, but they were speaking in their native language, which Cell had never tried to learn despite Frieza offering to teach him. He was regretting it now.  
“Frieza!” Cell called. “Who’s this guy?”  
“What guy?” Frieza’s voice came from somewhere in the cave.  
“Frikiza’s boyfriend by the looks of it.” Cell growled. “An icejin.”  
“You mean her husband?”  
“She has a husband?” Cell blinked.  
“Of course.” Frieza’s voice came closer as he joined Cell outside the cave, accompanied by Zarbon and Dodoria. Frieza followed Cell’s eyes to see Frikiza and the icejin man in the distance. “… It must be her husband.” Frieza stated. “He looks like Glacia.”  
“Glacia?” Cell repeated questionably.  
“My wife – I told you about her.” Frieza replied. “Kuriza’s mother.”  
“Oh, right…” Cell mumbled, vaguely recalling a conversation he’d had with Frieza some time ago. He stared at the icejin man, eyeing up his frame. “Hm.” Cell grunted. “He’s pretty hot, Frieza.”  
“So is Glacia.” Frieza replied.  
“Huh…” Cell uttered, seemingly surprised. What the hell? 

Frieza turned to Cell, and glared at him.  
“Hey!” He barked. “Why do you seem so surprised, Cell? Is it such a bizarre concept that _I_ would marry the most beautiful woman my species has to offer?”  
“Sorry.” Cell smirked, amused at Frieza’s anger. “I just… never pictured you wife as being all that.”   
“Why not!” Frieza demanded. “I am the wealthiest, most powerful man on my planet, so don’t you think I would deserve only the best woman?”  
“Well… you’re from the wealthiest _family_ …” Cell grinned.  
“ **Shut up**!” Frieza screamed, and slapped his tail into Cell’s face as hard as he possibly could. “Don’t insult me!”  
“Sorry.” Cell giggled and calmly rubbed his cheek, which seemed to enrage Frieza more as the icejin realised he hadn’t done much damage.   
“Hmph!” Frieza pouted. He folded his arms and looked away stubbornly. “Well, her looks are her only redeeming feature – so if I were you I’d stop eyeing up Frikiza’s husband, because if he’s anything like Glacia I can guarantee he’s a weakling, a nag and a bore.”  
“He certainly doesn’t look all that powerful.” Zarbon nodded, scanning his eyes over Glazio’s frame. He let out a sigh. “What a pity. I like my icejins handsome _and_ strong.”  
“So what are you doing with Frieza?” Cell sniped, causing Frieza to almost screech as he turned to glare at Cell.  
“I’m _warning_ you!” He snarled. Cell simply chuckled, and continued watching Frikiza and Glazio.  
“Well… she seems to like him more than you like your wife, Dear.” Cell said. Frieza watched as Frikiza and Glazio hugged, and he snorted.  
“Well, she’s a nag and a bore herself isn’t he?” He spat. “They’re made for each other.”  
“Yeah, but King Piccolo doesn’t look too happy about it.” Dodoria smirked, staring over at King Piccolo’s cave.

Frieza, Cell and Zarbon all followed his eyes to see King Piccolo standing in the entrance of his cave, watching Frikiza and Glazio. He looked furious!  
“Oh my God, he’s jealous.” Zarbon smirked. “So much for ‘just fucking’.”  
“Aww, do you think he likes her?” Dodoria smiled.  
“Oh shut up Dodoria, of course he doesn’t.” Frieza scolded.  
“If he does, I sacrificed my chances with Frikiza for nothing!” Cell growled.  
“Poor you.” Frieza retorted.  
“Yeah, poor m – … Oh my God.” Cell gasped. “Frieza, who is _that_?”

Frieza followed Cell’s gaze and saw Zarba and Doria standing outside King Piccolo’s cave, also watching Frikiza and Glazio.  
“Oh, you mean the drop dead gorgeous one?” Zarbon smirked arrogantly. “That would be me, thank you – and Cell, it’s rude to stare.”  
“That’s… that’s **you**?” Cell choked. “But she’s – she’s beautiful!”  
“Yes, I know!” Zarbon snapped, glaring at Cell. “Why the hell are you surprised? Of **course** she’s beautiful, she’s me you moron!”  
“Yeah… yeah but…” Cell uttered, too preoccupied with staring in admiration at Zarba to form a sentence. “She…” He moved his eyes to Doria, and suddenly burst out laughing. “Oh – so who’s the fat ugly one? Is that you, Dodoria?”  
“Hey!” Dodoria barked, his fists clenching in anger as Cell, Frieza and Zarbon all started laughing. “What the hell are you laughing at? She’s not ugly!”  
“Oh who are you kidding Dodoria? She’s even more hideous than you.” Zarbon exclaimed.  
“No she isn’t!” Dodoria yelled. “She’s beautiful – and for your information being big is sexy on my planet, so me and Doria are hot!”  
“Oh really?” Cell laughed. “Well remind me never to go looking for a girl on **your** planet!”  
“Don’t worry about it Cell, his planet doesn’t exist anymore.” Frieza smirked. “And now I’m starting to wish I’d had the opportunity to destroy it myself.”  
“Oh really?” Cell sniggered, looking at him. “So who did it?”  
“Oh, I don’t remember…” Frieza mumbled. “It was before I met him – Dodoria, who did you say it was that destroyed your planet?”  
“I can’t remember.” Dodoria muttered angrily. “That was just some crap I made up for you.”  
“What?” 

Frieza stared at Dodoria in disbelief, his eyes widening. “No, but… You said –”  
“Lord Frieza – you met me on a planet I’d just conquered, right?” Dodoria growled. “Remember? The one you stole from me and then sold, and you kept all the profit for yourself? I didn’t conquer that planet for me, I conquered it for my family!”  
“That’s a lie!” Frieza argued. “You told me your home planet was destroyed, and that your family were dead!”  
“They weren’t dead, they were waiting for me at home!” Dodoria yelled. “And my planet wasn’t destroyed – I only told you that because I didn’t want you to enslave my family the way you enslaved me!”  
“Wh-What!” Frieza gasped.  
“Oh my God…” Zarbon uttered, his eyes slowly widening. “Oh, Dodoria…”

Zarbon’s entire body went stiff as he stared at Frieza, terrified of what he would do. He looked angry… He was at his highest level of anger! Frieza was standing perfectly still, his ki steadily rising, his tail slowly waving behind him, his teeth gritted… but he was calm. He was so terrifyingly calm… until Cell burst out laughing. Zarbon closed his eyes in despair, and listened as an almighty scream erupted from Frieza’s core.  
“ _ **Dodoria**_!” Frieza roared, his ki exploding around them. “You – you _**lied**_ to me!”  
“Uh…” Dodoria choked, backing away slightly. “Well… Come on, Lord Frieza. I had a mom and dad, and a kid sister – what was I supposed to do?”  
“How about not making a fool out of me!” Frieza yelled. “Dodoria, I can’t believe this… For five decades – _five_ decades you worked for my empire! I gave you everything you could possibly desire – I made you my left-hand man, my _personal_ aide and this is how you repay me? By **lying** to me?” He threw his tail around Dodoria’s throat and held the pink man above him, glaring angrily into his eyes as he seethed, “Mark my words, Dodoria… If – no, _when_ I get out of here, the first thing I am going to do is track down your entire family and slay them one by one while you watch – and then I am going to gut you alive and rip all of your bodies into so many pieces nobody will even be able to bury you.”  
“Frieza, don’t you think you’re over-reacting a little?” Cell sniggered, watching the scene in amusement. “It was just a little white lie, after all.”  
“A _**what**_!” Frieza screamed, suddenly throwing Dodoria to the ground. “How can you even say that, Cell! For as long as Dodoria has worked for me he has been lying to me!”  
“Well what do you expect?” Cell shrugged. “You recruit people by killing their families and destroying their home planets – so why are you always surprised when they aren’t loyal to you? If you ask me, you bring it on yourself.”  
“Oh, is that what you think!” Frieza barked. “That I deserve to be lied to?”  
“That’s not what I said…” Cell sighed.  
“Well that’s what it sounded like!” Frieza yelled. “Do you have any idea how difficult it is to run an empire, Cell? Do you think people just willingly surrender their planets? Do you think they just agree to leave their homes and work for you indefinitely? Does that sound like something that would happen in the real world?”  
“Oh my God…” Zarbon groaned, leaning against the wall of the cave in despair. “Dodoria, see what you’ve started now?”  
“Whatever.” Dodoria grunted, rubbing his neck. “It’s not like they were never going to argue today – at least this time it’s not over the kids. I’m getting a drink.” He went back inside the cave, while Zarbon watched Frieza rant and rave at Cell like an angry housewife until it was too much to bear. “Pour me one too.” He said, and followed Dodoria indoors.   
“Yeah, yeah…” Cell sighed through Frieza’s yelling. “Oh, come on, don’t exaggerate. Running an empire isn’t that hard.”  
“ _ **Not that hard**_!” Frieza screeched. “How the hell would you know! You can’t even control seven children, there is no way you could manage an empire my size!”  
“Oh – I wondered how long it would take for you to bring up the kids!” Cell snarled. “Listen to me Frieza, you have no idea what it’s like being a single parent!”  
“Yes – actually I do, because _I’m_ the one that’s a parent to those monsters!” Frieza yelled. Cell gasped, his eyes widening in horror as he processed Frieza’s words.  
“You… You did **not** just say that!” He cried.  
“Yes Cell, I believe I did.” Frieza growled.  
“You ignorant little **bastard**!” Cell roared, his ki flaring, and they continued their argument while Zarbon and Dodoria tried to drown them out with drink inside the cave.

XXXXX

Meanwhile in King Piccolo’s cave the mutant nameks were huddled together, watching as their master stared at Frikiza and Glazio.  
“He looks kind of mad…” Cymbal whispered.   
“Yes… I wonder what Frikiza and Glazio are talking about…” Piano mumbled.  
“Whatever it is, King Piccolo doesn’t like it.” Drum said.  
“Guys, you don’t… You don’t think he could be jealous, do you?” Cymbal questioned. The other mutants looked at him, then grinned mischievously.  
“Well… it did cross my mind.” Piano giggled. “But ssh! He might hear us!”  
“Okay!” Cymbal clasped his hand over his mouth and looked over at King Piccolo, who was staring intently at Frikiza and Glazio with his arms folded and his fists clenched, looking jealous.

Tambourine smiled a little as he looked in his master’s direction – but his gaze was fixed on Zarba. Is was so hard to imagine that she was Zarbon… She was so different. So pretty… Whoa. What was happening to him? Why was he suddenly so captivated by her?  
“Guys.” Tambourine whispered, and looked at his brothers. “Do you know what it means, when a girl makes you feel all nervous for no reason, and you want to stare at her all the time?”  
“Well… I don’t know…” Piano uttered. “Isn’t that supposedly what being in love feels like?”  
“What!” Tambourine cried. “I can’t be in love, I only just met her!”  
“Met who?” Piano demanded, narrowing his eyes at Tambourine.  
“Uh… N-No-one…” Tambourine answered, blushing. “Forget it – I think I’m just feeling sick…”  
“Hey.” Drum grinned. “It’s not that pretty pink friend of Frikiza’s, is it? Because… I was thinking of asking her out myself.”  
“Huh?” Tambourine blinked, staring at Drum in disbelief. “You mean… Doria?”  
“Yeah – her.” Drum nodded. “What do you think, guys? Do you think King Piccolo would be mad if I got a girlfriend?”  
“I…” Piano answered awkwardly. “I’m… not sure he would believe you…”  
“Huh?” Drum frowned, looking at Piano. “Why not?”  
“Uh…” Piano sweat dropped. 

Over by the entrance of King Piccolo’s cave, King Piccolo was glaring at Frikiza and Glazio.  
“Tch. How can she stand to be in his company for so long?” He snorted. “I suppose it’s just her bleeding heart that makes her able to tolerate the weak.”  
“That’s exactly what I think.” Zarba purred from beside him, and looked up at the demon king. “She does have terrible choices in men, doesn’t she?” King Piccolo simply shot Zarba a nasty glare.   
“He’s weak.” King Piccolo spat. “I’m embarrassed to have him so close to my cave.” He looked back at Glazio and scoffed. “What a loser. I could kill him with one claw – and with my eyes closed.”  
“I’m sure you could.” Zarba smirked. She glanced at Doria, and winked at her as she spoke, “You know, Incubus, if I didn’t know better… I’d say you sound jealous.”  
“Jealous? Of that weakling?” King Piccolo snorted. “Don’t make me laugh!”  
“I couldn’t if I tried.” Zarba sniped. Doria giggled slightly, amused by the deadly look King Piccolo was giving Zarba. “Well… he is the father of your girlfriend’s child –”  
“She’s **not** my girlfriend!” King Piccolo barked.  
“Oh, good.” Zarba replied. “Because I was starting to think it would bother you, knowing that Glazio got there first. You know… I heard she was a virgin when she married him. He was quite literally the first man to break her –”  
“ _ **Shut up**_!” King Piccolo roared. “Listen!” He grabbed Zarba’s shoulders and snarled into her face, digging his claws into her skin as he seethed, “I don’t **care** who Frikiza was married to – nor do I care who got to her first! She is **not** my girlfriend and what she got up to in the past is no concern of mine and I do **not** want to hear about it! Do you understand?”  
“Spoken like a true fuck buddy who isn’t jealous.” Zarba smirked, completely unfazed by King Piccolo’s anger. 

King Piccolo simply snarled and ripped his claws off her, causing deep cuts in Zarba’s skin that started to bleed immediately. He turned to his mutant sons and glared at them angrily, enraged that they could ever think that he was even capable of being jealous. Yes… He’d heard them. He’d heard every word. The **traitors**! They were lucky to still be in one piece!  
“I am going into my room.” King Piccolo boomed. “I don’t want to be disturbed by anyone – and if anybody so much as **thinks** that I am jealous, they will be disembowelled by yours truly. Is that clear?”  
“Y-Yes, King Piccolo.” The mutants whimpered, and watched nervously as King Piccolo stormed off into his room.

When he had gone Tambourine approached Zarba, and looked at her injuries.  
“Are you okay?” He asked.  
“Hm? Oh…” Zarba looked at the cuts King Piccolo had made on her arms, and sighed angrily. “Well – they’ll heal, but they’ll look ugly for a while. Your father has quite a temper, hasn’t he?”  
“Uh… yeah.” Tambourine mumbled, slightly embarrassed by King Piccolo’s behaviour. Why did he have to hurt her? She didn’t mean to offend him. … She didn’t, right?  
“But, I guess that’s what Frikiza likes about him.” Zarba said. “Thanks for your concern, Tangerine.”  
“Uh… It’s Tambourine.” Tambourine said quietly.  
“Oh.” Zarba giggled. “Sorry. My mistake.” She smiled at Tambourine sweetly, and Doria rolled her eyes.  
_“Such a bitch.”_ She thought to herself.

XXXXX 

“Frikiza, promise me – you will be safe here.” Glazio spoke in his native language as he stared down at his estranged wife.   
“Of course.” Frikiza laughed. “I keep telling you… Piccolo is a nice guy. Really. He’s just… difficult.”  
“If he hurts you –”  
“Glazio, I’m stronger than him.” Frikiza insisted. “Don’t worry about me.” She looked at him, and a wave of guilt swept across her face. “You should worry about yourself… I’m sorry, Glazio. I never meant for you and Kuria –”  
“Frikiza.” Glazio interrupted her. “Stop.”  
“But this is all my fault!” Frikiza sobbed. “If I hadn’t left my mother –”  
“I would hate you.” Glazio said. “And our daughter would never know right from wrong. Frikiza…” He smiled at her. “When I married you, I knew there was good in your heart, and I went to bed every night praying it would come to the surface… Now it has. I can’t ask for more than that.”  
“But what if they come for you…?” Frikiza uttered.  
“They won’t. They have Kuria – they don’t need me.” Glazio said. “And even if they do… I’m proud of what you have become.” He placed his palm on her cheek and caressed her lightly as he spoke, “I fell in love with you because I believed you were a good person. Now I know I was right.”  
“Thank you…” Frikiza smiled, and placed her palm on his. “Glazio… I’m sorry. I can’t –”  
“It’s okay. I never expected you to love me.” Glazio smirked slightly. “I always knew I was too soft for you.”  
“Well… I wouldn’t say that…” Frikiza blushed slightly.  
“Does he take care of you?” Glazio asked.  
“Well… we aren’t really…” Frikiza’s blush darkened, and she nodded. “Yes.” She answered quietly.   
“Good.” Glazio smiled. “I want you to be happy.” He placed his arms around Frikiza and closed his eyes, pulling her into a tight hug. “I love you.”  
“I love you too.” Frikiza smiled, and hugged him back. 

After a long embrace, she pulled away and looked at Glazio. “You should go. If you stay here too long, they won’t let you back out. I’ll tell Zarba to take you to Planet Sarra – it’s not on my mother’s radar, she won’t find you there.”  
“Okay.” Glazio nodded. “Come, let’s get them.”

They made their way back to King Piccolo’s cave to join Zarba and Doria.  
“Where’s Piccolo?” Frikiza questioned, looking round.  
“Uh… He… went for a lie down.” Piano answered awkwardly.  
“Zarba was winding him up.” Doria said.  
“Snitch!” Zarba hissed. Frikiza turned to Zarba and frowned.  
“What did you say?” She demanded.  
“Nothing!” Zarba protested. “Nothing that warrants **this**!” She held out her arms to show where King Piccolo had cut her.  
“He did that to you?” Glazio gasped, his eyes widening. “Frikiza –”  
“Oh Glazio don’t worry, she’s fine!” Frikiza growled.  
“Hmph.” Zarba pouted. “That incubus is a bad influence on you.”  
“Will you stop calling him that!” Frikiza snapped. “Listen – go to Sarra, my mother doesn’t know about it.”  
“Friki, don’t worry about us. She has Kuria, she won’t bother with us now.” Zarba said, and narrowed her eyes at Frikiza. “You should worry about yourself. You’re running out of places to hide.”  
“I know…” Frikiza uttered. She glanced at the mutant nameks, noticing how concerned they looked, and turned back to Zarba and Doria. “Guys – I can’t thank you enough, for everything you’ve done. I don’t know how I can repay you.”  
“Just stay safe, Frikiza.” Doria said. “Don’t worry about us, we’ll be fine.”  
“Okay…” Frikiza smiled slightly. “Thank you…”  
“We’ll be in touch, okay?” Zarba said. “In the meantime, try not to let that incubus exhaust you too much.”  
“Okay.” Frikiza giggled. 

The mutants watched as Frikiza hugged her companions; they couldn’t help but notice how sad she looked. Something was wrong… The mutants remained quiet until Zarba, Doria and Glazio had left, and then they looked at Frikiza.  
“Frikiza… Is something wrong?” Piano asked.  
“Sort of…” Frikiza mumbled. She looked at them. “Did Piccolo ever tell you about my mother?”  
“Nu-uh.” The mutants answered, shaking their heads.  
“Oh. Well… basically, my mother and sister want to kill me.” Frikiza began. “It’s a long story, but part of the reason why I’m here is because if I go home, I’m dead. I had my husband and daughter on a planet that my mother didn’t know about – Zarba and Doria were guarding them, but… my mother found them, and she made my daughter join her.” She lowered her eyes. “There’s only one more planet that my mother doesn’t know about, and if she found this one, she’s bound to find that one – and there’s a chance my daughter will tell her about it anyway. So… to put things simply, when my contract runs out here, I’ll be sent back to my home universe, and… well… there’s a good chance I’ll die.” 

The mutants took a moment to process her words. They stood there in silence, shocked and speechless, unable to believe what they’d just heard. No… No, this couldn’t be. This couldn’t be!  
“F-Frikiza!” Drum sobbed, his eyes glistening. “Don’t be crazy! That – that can’t be true!”  
“Yeah, there’s… there’s gotta be a way…” Tambourine whimpered.  
“Tell King Piccolo! He’ll kick your mother’s ass!” Cymbal exclaimed. Frikiza smiled a little.  
“That’s a good idea, but my mother is stronger than me, so… I don’t think Piccolo stands much of a chance against her.” She said.  
“But – but –” Piano stammered. “But…”  
“Are they gone?”

Frikiza and the mutant nameks all looked up to see King Piccolo standing in the doorway to the cave’s lounge room with his arms folded, studying his minions. What was wrong with them? They looked like… they looked like they were _crying_! What the hell? “What is the meaning of this!” King Piccolo demanded. “What’s the matter with you!”  
“It’s… It’s…” Piano whimpered.  
“ _ **Frikiza**_!” The mutants all wailed, and threw themselves at the icejin, almost knocking her to the ground.  
“What!” King Piccolo roared.  
“She – she has to go home in three weeks!” Drum cried. “And when she goes there they’ll kill her!”  
“What?” King Piccolo frowned.  
“My mother.” Frikiza said, looking at him over the four wailing mutants that were desperately hugging her. “I don’t have anywhere safe to go – unless I find a way to stay here.”  
“Well – yes!” Piano beamed, wiping his eyes. “That’s – that’s perfect! Just ask King Yemma to extend your contract!”  
“I tried already!” Frikiza protested. “But I’m not from this universe, I should even be here at all! He said I can’t stay any longer because I’m not a citizen.”  
“Oh – **horseshit**!” Piano screamed, and continued his sobbing. “You’re the best citizen we’ve ever known, Frikiza!”  
“Thanks…” Frikiza uttered.

King Piccolo watched the scene in awe, unsure of what to think. Was this it…? If Frikiza had nowhere left to hide, would she be killed in her own universe before she could return to this one? No… No, that wasn’t possible. She only had to avoid her mother for a month. That was perfectly manageable, wasn’t it? What were these four imbeciles blubbering about? Frikiza would be perfectly fine! And even if she wasn’t, what concern was it of theirs? She was nothing to do with them! The only person in this cave that Frikiza had any sort of relationship with whatsoever was King Piccolo, and he did **not** have a relationship with her! She wasn’t his wife, she wasn’t his girlfriend – she was just a piece of meat King Piccolo used to pass the time. He didn’t care for her at all, and neither should these fools!  
“Stop it.” King Piccolo ordered, glaring angrily at the mutants. “What is wrong with you?”  
“Frikiza’s in danger!” Drum cried.  
“So?” King Piccolo snorted. “That isn’t our problem.”  
“What!” The mutants gasped, horrified that he could say such a thing.  
“But – but King Piccolo!” Piano stammered. “Sire – she could die!”  
“I’m well aware.” King Piccolo replied. “Don’t worry. I’m sure they’ll find someone else to take her classes.”

The mutants gasped again, this time looking even more appalled.   
“How can you say that!” Cymbal cried. “King Piccolo –”  
“Cymbal, it’s okay.” Frikiza interrupted him. She looked over at King Piccolo. He didn’t mean it. He was just trying to look big in front of his children. She knew he didn’t mean it. He did care about her… Didn’t he? He wasn’t her boyfriend, but still… surely he cared if she lived or died…? He did care, right?  
“Good.” King Piccolo grunted, smirking in satisfaction as Frikiza silenced their crying for him. Well, she was useful for that at least. That, and a couple of other things… But that didn’t mean he cared about her! It didn’t mean that she wasn’t completely replaceable if her mother did find her and put an end to her weak, good-natured existence. In a way it was all Frikiza deserved. 

Still… It was a shame to waste her while she was still here. After all, she did have her uses didn’t she? “Frikiza.” King Piccolo looked at her, and she stared back with bright eyes, hanging on his every word. Tch. Why was she looking at him like that? What was she expecting him to say? “We only have three weeks left. I think we should make the most of it, don’t you?”  
“Wh-What…?” Frikiza uttered. Did he…? No. He couldn’t seriously mean…?  
“Come on, my little icicle.” King Piccolo said with a sinister smirk on his lips as he gazed at her lustfully. She looked quite timid in her delicate mood, so vulnerable… Perfect! King Piccolo raised his hand to beckon Frikiza towards him, and his smirk widened. “You aren’t going to keep your master waiting, are you?”   
“Fuck you!” Frikiza yelled, suddenly becoming enraged. How could he… How could he even think of that at a time like this! She’d just told him she was going to **die**!  
“Yes, that’s the spirit!” King Piccolo grinned menacingly, and winked at her. “I’ll be in my room.” Then he left without saying a word, brimming with arrogance. 

The mutants all stared after him with wide eyes and dropped jaws, shocked and disgusted that he could say such things at a time like this. How could he…? Did he really think so little of her? How awful!  
“Frikiza!” Piano gasped. “Please – ignore him!”  
“Yeah – he doesn’t know what he’s saying!” Tambourine nodded.  
“Ignore him?” Frikiza hissed, glaring after King Piccolo. “I’m going to **kill** him!”  
“Oh.” The mutants uttered. They paused for a moment and exchanged glances, then looked at Frikiza before saying, “Good luck.”  
“Thanks.” Frikiza snarled and raced after King Piccolo, her ki exploding as she powered up into her final form.


	18. Love Is In The Air

King Piccolo took off his shoes and sat on his bed. He rolled his gi down to his waist and loosened his belt, then waited for Frikiza to follow him into the room. She did within seconds, and King Piccolo was delighted to see her in her final form. It was currently his favourite!  
“That’s more like it.” King Piccolo smirked. “Now, come here.”  
“No.” Frikiza snarled, her scarlet eyes glowing. She seemed angry… Why ever could that be?  
“Oh, would you like me to chase you?” King Piccolo purred. “Of course, my dear.” He looked at her lustfully and uttered a low, animalistic growl, then leapt off the bed.

King Piccolo attempted to advance on Frikiza, but a sudden burst of energy from her pushed him back onto the bed.  
“Stay away from me!” Frikiza screamed. “I wouldn’t touch you if my life depended on it!”  
“You mean your three weeks of life?” King Piccolo sniped, causing Frikiza to become even more enraged.  
“Fuck **you**!” She wailed, and her ki shot up so wildly it made the cave shake. King Piccolo gasped when he saw parts of the ceiling falling down around him, and deep cracks forming in the walls. At this rate she was going to bury them!  
“Frikiza!” King Piccolo cried. “What are you doing! Calm down!”  
“Calm down? _Calm down_!” Frikiza shrieked. 

She approached King Piccolo slowly, glaring at him with such ferocity it actually scared him a little. He’d never seen Frikiza like this before. He’d seen her angry many times – she’d yelled at him and tied him up and fired ki blasts at him and insulted him… But she had never looked like this. She had never been this angry; she had never been this deadly. She looked like she was actually going to erase him. She wouldn’t do that, would she? She couldn’t… She was his counsellor! “How can I calm down!” Frikiza yelled. “Piccolo – how long have I been your counsellor? How long have I been in a relationship with you? I have been your – your – **fling** for over a month! I gave you a chance to go to Earth, I reunited you with your son, I slept in your bed day in day out, and I **gave** you a bed – if it wasn’t for me you’d be sleeping on the floor! And I let you stay in my house and I watched movies with you and I made your children happier and now – now I’m telling you that I’m going to die in three weeks and you don’t even care? Why the **hell** would I calm down! I’m going to kill you!”

King Piccolo looked at Frikiza, and he was suddenly taken aback by the sight of something in her eyes. It didn’t seem to fit her mood… She was angry. Obviously, she was angry. Her aura was so powerful it could make the cave collapse at any moment; her fists were clenched; her jaw was locked; her ki was flaring and her eyes were burning… but something was wrong. Her eyes… They were glistening. There was liquid in them – not a lot, but still… She was crying. Was she… upset? Why? Why did she care what he thought of her? She had no reason to care – she was **not** his girlfriend!  
“Frikiza.” King Piccolo uttered. “You’re wrong.”

Frikiza’s aura softened, and she powered down slightly, enough to stop the ceiling collapsing at least. She studied King Piccolo, trying to decipher what he meant. So what was she supposed to be wrong about? … The fact that he didn’t care about her…? Oh… Yes! Yes, she knew it! He **did** care about her! He was just trying to act tough in front of his children! How cute!  
“Piccolo…” Frikiza uttered softly. She smiled a little, and wiped her eyes. “… Am I?”  
“Yes.” King Piccolo answered. He leaned towards her onto all fours and placed his palm on her face, softly grazing his claws against her cheek until Frikiza’s smile grew. He studied her smile, slightly repulsed by how easily it had formed. How pathetic… She was so easily captured. The fool. King Piccolo narrowed his eyes at Frikiza and growled, “We are **not** in a relationship.”  
“What!” Frikiza yelled.

She powered up again and violently pushed his hand off her face. “What do you mean!”  
“You aren’t my girlfriend!” King Piccolo snarled. “Why should I care about you? You are nothing to me!”  
“I – I can’t believe you’re saying this!” Frikiza wailed, throwing her palms onto her head in frustration. “Are you serious, Piccolo? Do you really not care about me at all?”  
“No!” King Piccolo barked. “And you shouldn’t care about me either.”  
“Yeah well I do!” Frikiza yelled. “I care about you a lot!”  
“Well then, more fool you.” King Piccolo grunted.   
“Yeah – obviously!” Frikiza screamed, her ki flaring up again. 

She took a breath in an attempt to calm herself and closed her eyes, scrunching them shut so tight her tears could barely even escape. “Oh my God… This is pathetic.” Frikiza growled, her face twisting in anger. “I can’t believe it. You don’t care about me at all, and I… I actually love you.”  
“What?” King Piccolo choked.

He stared at her in disbelief, his eyes widening. Love…? She… She loved him? … Oh, bullshit! What the hell was she talking about? She didn’t love him, she was just being dramatic! And if she thought he was going to believe that obvious lie, she was taking him for a fool! How _dare_ she! “Shut up.” King Piccolo snarled. “Don’t insult me, Frikiza. Even someone as weak and pathetic as you wouldn’t be soft enough to fall in love with _me_.”  
“Is that so…?” Frikiza mumbled, opening her eyes to look at him. “What, you don’t think you deserve to be loved?”  
“Don’t start that crap!” King Piccolo barked, instantly becoming enraged at the smell of Frikiza’s pity. Why did she always pity him? He didn’t need her pity! “Stop feeling sorry for me!” King Piccolo ordered. “I am **not** a victim. I’m not some charity case – how many times do I need to tell you, I’m evil because I was born to be evil! And I like it!”  
“You don’t have to be evil.” Frikiza argued.  
“Well I want to be!” King Piccolo yelled. “And that is not going to change – and especially not for the likes of you!”

Frikiza gasped as King Piccolo threw his hand around her throat and yanked her towards him, squeezing her so tightly he almost broke her neck. He snarled into her face, bearing his teeth fiercely and glaring at her furiously as he hissed, “And if you really were foolish enough to fall in love with me, all you’ve done is waste your time because I do **not** love you Frikiza, and I never will. Do you understand?”   
“Get off me!” Frikiza growled, yanking his hand away. She took a step back and looked at him angrily. “This is exactly why I never told you! I knew you’d get all defensive about it.”  
“Defensive? I am not being defensive!” King Piccolo roared. Oh, she was _really_ pushing it. How dare she accuse him of being defensive! She was the one in love! She was the one that was a fool; she was the one that was going to die in three weeks, having spent the last couple of months of her life loving someone who didn’t care a bag of beans for her! If anyone had any reason to be defensive, it was Frikiza! How dare she tell him, the Demon King Piccolo that she loved him! What an insult! What was it, a last ditch effort to make him show some sort of sympathy for her? Ha! He wasn’t falling for that. No way! “I don’t love you.” King Piccolo snarled. “And I can’t love – so you’re wasting your time trying to make me!”  
“I’m not trying to make you.” Frikiza sighed. “And I think you can.”  
“ ** _I can’t_**!” King Piccolo boomed. Was she really this stupid? He was the Demon King Piccolo; he was pure evil! Of course he wasn’t capable of love!  
“Fine, whatever.” Frikiza growled. “If you haven’t learnt that by now, you won’t learn it in three weeks.” Her face softened slightly, and she sat on the bed next to him, causing King Piccolo to move away from her in anger. Frikiza rolled her eyes and let out an angry sigh. “I shouldn’t have told you.” She muttered. She paused for a moment, then she seemed to calm down a little. Good. King Piccolo grunted. Perhaps now she would stop this pathetic charade before he really lost his temper. “I’m sorry…” Frikiza mumbled. “I know we aren’t a couple, and that’s fine by me. I just… couldn’t help it. It’s not like I tried to.”

King Piccolo stared at Frikiza in confusion, trying to figure her out. She seemed sincere… She didn’t seem like she was trying to get a reaction from him, or manipulate him in some way. … So why was she telling him this? If she really meant it – what was her purpose? He wouldn’t say anything that would make her feel any better – he couldn’t even if he tried! So… what was the point?  
“Why are you saying this?” King Piccolo demanded. “We’re just having sex. Why are you bringing emotion into it?”  
“I didn’t mean to.” Frikiza replied, almost laughing. “It just came out. I’m sorry. Sometimes I say things without thinking… or without caring how people will react.” She looked over her shoulder at him and smirked a little. “I guess I’m like you in that way.”  
“No you aren’t. I always think.” King Piccolo growled. “I just never care.”  
“You don’t need to tell me that.” Frikiza replied.

King Piccolo studied her again. Hm… So it had just come out, had it? She’d been keeping it a secret for so long, and all of a sudden in the midst anger she’d decided to say whatever the hell she wanted. … Well. In that case, if it was something she’d wanted to say all along then why had she even kept it a secret? Did she think it would annoy him? Well, it did… But only because he didn’t know how to react to it. What was he supposed to say? What did she want him to say? Unless she wanted him to lie, he couldn’t possibly say anything that would make her happy. If anything he would make her even more upset than she already was. … Oh, so what? So what if she upset her? It wasn’t like he cared for her, after all. Not at all!  
“I don’t love you.” King Piccolo stated.  
“I know.” Frikiza shrugged. “I don’t expect you to. It would be weird.”  
“I don’t care for you, either.” King Piccolo said.  
“Well… I wish that was different.” Frikiza mumbled. She sighed. “But, I guess you don’t have to. You’re right, we aren’t a couple. It’s just sex. We shouldn’t bring emotion into it…” She lowered her eyes and blinked, stopping herself from crying again. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have been annoyed. You don’t need to care about me.”  
“Frikiza.” King Piccolo frowned. “You are delusional.”  
“Delusional?” Frikiza repeated, and looked at him in annoyance. “What do you mean?”  
“I am pure evil.” King Piccolo said, and narrowed his eyes at her. “Try to get it into your small, misguided brain would you? I am everything that was bad about Kami. Kami gathered all the evil in his heart and expelled it into another being – that being was me. I can be angry, and sadistic, and evil – and I can feel happy at other people’s expense, but I don’t love and I don’t care – and you’re delusional for thinking that I can.”  
“Well… maybe you’re the delusional one.” Frikiza replied. “Piccolo, I know exactly how you were created. You’re right, Kami expelled all the evil from himself, and that evil was you. I’m not saying you aren’t a jerk, because you are.” She smirked a little. “You’re arrogant, and selfish, and rude and aggressive, and you have evil ambitions and a sick sense of humour – **stop smirking**!” She barked, suddenly frowning when she saw an arrogant smirk form on King Piccolo’s lips as she listed all the terrible traits about him.  
“Sorry.” King Piccolo sniggered. Oh, she knew him so well. She really was a fool for loving him – who the hell fell in love with someone they knew was pure evil? It didn’t make sense! She didn’t even like him, she’d just said he was a jerk! Ridiculous.  
“No you’re not.” Frikiza growled. “… But you aren’t pure evil.”  
“Frikiza, I –”  
“I know, I know.” Frikiza interrupted King Piccolo. “You’re everything that was evil in Kami – I believe that. I believe that when Kami created you he did it by expelling all the bad in his body.” She smiled slightly. “But… I also think that when he expelled the evil, a little good went with it as well.”

King Piccolo paused, and glared at her. Wrong… she was completely wrong! There was no good in him! Kami expelled the evil in his body to form King Piccolo – and **only** the evil! No good came with it, none at all! She was a fool. Is that why she loved him? Because she believed in this tiny bit of good that didn’t even exist? Tch. How pathetic. King Piccolo would laugh if he didn’t think it was so tragic.  
“You’re wrong.” He stated flatly.   
“Well…” Frikiza mumbled. “I guess we’ll see. In three weeks I won’t have to worry about it anyway.”  
“No, you won’t.” King Piccolo growled. Damn right – and good riddance! He didn’t need someone like her in his life. He didn’t need someone so wrong and delusional, someone so bossy and whiny, someone so sickeningly sweet and good-natured… Why was he even fucking her? She was awful! He would be glad when she was gone. He didn’t even like her – he never had and he never would. Three weeks couldn’t come soon enough. Three weeks, and all his problems would be over. He could go back to being evil without her nagging him to be nicer. He could go back to watching Junior all day, and ruling over his minions with ferocity and malice – and there would be nobody there to make a scene or attack him or yell at him so much it gave him earache. She would be gone. Forever. … … Good riddance.  
“Anyway…” Frikiza said, and stood up. “I think I’m going to go to my house. You can come by later if you want. Just give me a couple of hours to myself.”  
“I’ll give you _one_ hour.” King Piccolo growled. “And you’d better still be in that form.”  
“Or else what?” Frikiza shrugged. “It’s not like you’re strong enough to do anything about it.”  
“ ** _Bitch_**!” King Piccolo roared, his ki immediately skyrocketing. “You’ll pay for that!”  
“Do your worst.” Frikiza sniped, and left the room before he could respond.

XXXXX

“Oh come on.” Cell groaned from the lounge room of Frieza’s cave. He was lying across the sofa in front of the TV, while Frieza sat in a chair on the other side of the room, refusing to look at him. Frieza was covered in cuts and bruises from his unsuccessful argument with Cell, and his tail was broken. He refused to get it treated, though. He was too busy sulking. “I didn’t hurt you that much.” Cell protested. Frieza remained silent, refusing to acknowledge that Cell had even spoken.  
“Leave it, Cell.” Zarbon snarled. “You’ve done enough damage.”  
“Oh shut up, Pretty Boy, who asked you?” Cell spat. He looked over at Frieza and let out a sigh. “Listen – you know you can’t insult my kids, and you did start it.”  
“Me!” Frieza yelled, suddenly turning to him. “You were the one that said Dodoria was justified in –” He stopped when he saw a look of satisfaction creeping onto Cell’s face. The bastard! He’d tricked Frieza into talking! “Jerk.” Frieza pouted, and turned away.  
“Well you said I was a bad parent – that’s way worse than what I said.” Cell insisted. “I had to teach you a lesson, and it was you that threw the first punch.”  
“A tail attack isn’t a punch.” Frieza growled. “A punch is something you do with your hands, Cell. Didn’t Dr. Gero program language into you when he made you ‘perfect’?”  
“He did.” Cell sniped. “But he didn’t teach me the specific word for ‘tail attack’.”  
“There isn’t one!” Frieza snapped.  
“Oh.” Cell said with a smirk. “So ‘punch’ will have to do, won’t it?”  
“Shut up.” Frieza hissed.   
“Listen, Guys…” Dodoria began. “You can fight as much as you want, but the kids’ll be home soon. Shouldn’t you try to make up before they get here? It’s not good to argue around children.”  
“Hm?” Cell uttered, considering the notion. 

Frieza simply grunted and looked away. Whatever. Those little brats were already a lost cause, one measly argument wouldn’t do them any harm. Frieza never grew up in a happy home anyway. “So what if they see us fighting?” Cell shrugged, looking at Dodoria. “They were born to fight – I created them to kill people.”   
“But killing their enemies and seeing their own father fight is a completely different thing.” Dodoria reasoned. “If they sense something’s wrong with you, it’ll scare them.”  
“Oh, shut up Dodoria.” Frieza spat. “I’ve never heard such nonsense. When I was a child I saw my father beat my mother – and then he would beat Coola and myself, and it never did me any harm. There were always arguments in my home.”  
“Mm.” Zarbon nodded. “And look at Vegeta – his father was never happy and he turned out alright. … Mostly.” He looked at Dodoria. “And take Goku – he had a perfect loving childhood and he turned into a violent murderer.”  
“And uneducated.” Frieza added.  
“And he’s a deadbeat father.” Zarbon said.

Cell stared up at the ceiling, frowning in confusion.  
“So how are you supposed to raise children…? Are you supposed to let them see violence or not?”  
“Cell, it isn’t rocket science.” Frieza sighed. “Just don’t change your life for them – and don’t let them dictate to you what happens. If you want them to fight, make them fight. If you want to argue with someone, argue with them. If you want to kill someone, kill them. Don’t let your children get in the way of your business – **you** are the superior being, and it’s up to your children to do as you say, not the other way round.”  
“I suppose…” Cell sighed. He looked over at Frieza, and smirked slightly. “You have a talent for this, Frieza. Perhaps you should open a crèche.”  
“Oh, shut up.” Frieza scolded. “It’s easy if you aren’t afraid to discipline them – you wouldn’t think twice about striking an adult slave, Cell, and yet an adult doesn’t need to learn.”  
“Yeah…” Cell mumbled. Maybe Frieza was right. Maybe Cell was too soft on them… The kids weren’t weaklings – they were more powerful than Frieza, and yet they obeyed Frieza so much more than they did Cell. Perhaps they really did respond to his sternness… 

Cell looked over at Frieza, and his cheeks darkened slightly as he studied the icejin’s wounds. Wow, he’d really gone crazy with Frieza, hadn’t he? He should do that to the kids, then maybe they would show their father the same respect they showed Frieza. “… Sorry.” Cell uttered. “Come here – let me fix your tail.”  
“It’s fine.” Frieza hissed. Cell smirked, and then used his energy to yank Frieza towards him, causing the icejin to cry out. “Hey!” Frieza barked as he landed on top of Cell. “What are you doing! I said **no**!”  
“You say a lot of stuff.” Cell replied, and grabbed hold of Frieza’s tail. Frieza snarled, then screamed as an almighty pain flooded him as Cell pushed his tail bones back together.  
“Stop it!” Frieza yelled. “Stop, you’re making it worse –” He stopped suddenly, and became annoyed when his tail actually felt better. Bastard…  
“Well?” Cell uttered, looking at Frieza with an arrogant smirk.  
“… It healed on its own.” Frieza growled.  
“Of course.” Cell sneered. 

He stroked the icejin’s head, then put his arm around Frieza to pull him closer. “Can you stop sulking now?” Cell asked.  
“Hmph!” Frieza pouted, and turned away. Jerk. He couldn’t just put a couple of bones back in place and expect Frieza to forget that Cell was the one that put them out of place to begin with! Cell would have to do better than that!  
“Please?” Cell begged, wrapping his arms around Frieza. “Darling?”  
“Aww…” Dodoria smiled, watching the pair.  
“ _Ew_!” Zarbon spat. “Lord Frieza just forgive him, he’s making me sick.”  
“You’re just jealous.” Cell pouted.  
“Jealous? Of being fondled by you or of being in the doghouse with Lord Frieza?” Zarbon sniped.

Cell shot Zarbon an angry glare, but was soon distracted by Frieza’s giggling.  
“Fine, Zarbon.” Frieza smirked. “I agree, it is disgusting.” He looked at Cell. “You don’t suit being nice. I suppose it wasn’t part of your programming.”  
“I suppose not.” Cell smirked back, and threw Frieza down so that he was lying on the sofa with Cell on top of him. Cell looked down at Frieza, and his eyes twinkled. “I guess I should be nasty then…”  
“Eww…” Dodoria groaned, burying his face in his hands. “Guys, just because the kids aren’t here – can you _please_ do that in your room –” His face twisted in agony and he gagged at the sound of Frieza and Cell kissing.   
“How adorable.” Zarbon remarked sarcastically. “But save some for me – oh…” His eyes widened when he saw the Cell Juniors walk into the room, followed by two older figures. Oh, fuck… “Guys.” Zarbon uttered. “ _Guys_!”  
“Mm?” Cell grunted, pulling himself away from Frieza. “Dammit Zarbon, can’t you see we’re busy - - …” His eyes also widened when he looked up to see who had joined them in the room. “… Crap.”

Frieza looked up, and he, Cell, Zarbon and Dodoria all stared with wide eyes and pale faces at the two older figures, Dr. Gero and King Kold. They were both staring at Frieza and Cell, and were both looking absolutely horrified.  
“F-Frieza…” King Kold stammered. “What’s… What’s going on…?”  
“Uh…” Frieza uttered, struggling to think of something to say. “I… I… lost consciousness. Cell was performing CPR on me.”  
“Yeah.” Cell nodded, sitting up. “I never did it before, but – you’re okay, right Frieza?”  
“Yes.” Frieza nodded. “Thank you Cell, you saved my life.”  
“You’re already dead.” Dr. Gero growled.  
“Well don’t look at me like that, you’re the one that programmed him to perform CPR on a dead person.” Frieza argued. “I suggest you go back to school, Doctor.”  
“You – you were kissing!” King Kold gasped.  
“No!” Frieza insisted. “No, we weren’t Papa! We were – we were just –”  
“What’s the big deal?” One of the Cell Juniors piped up. “Papa and Uncle Frieza kiss all the time.”  
“ _ **What**_!” King Kold and Dr. Gero cried, staring down at the Junior.  
“Cell, can you put a muzzle on those brats!” Frieza snarled, his fists clenching in anger.   
“Yeah – to stop them lying!” Cell gasped, and raced over to the Junior. “Number 6, you know it’s naughty to tell lies – and it’s dangerous to say things like that.”  
“Yes, Number 6.” Frieza hissed, glaring at the child. “You shouldn’t tell lies like that. It’s very _dangerous_.”  
“Yeah yeah, I know.” The Cell Junior replied, and looked at Cell. “I know you said not to tell anyone that Uncle Frieza’s your boyfriend, but that doesn’t count if people see you kissing.”  
“Yeah.” Another Cell Junior nodded. “It’s your own stupid fault.”  
“What!” Frieza barked. “How **dare** you speak to your father like that!”  
“Such bad manners.” Zarbon scolded.   
“ _ **Frieza**_!” King Kold screamed.

Frieza looked up, and suddenly turned even paler than usual.  
“Y-Yes Papa?” He answered timidly.  
“You **are** in a relationship with Cell!” King Kold roared.  
“Well –”  
“Oh, this is disgusting!” Dr. Gero interrupted Frieza, his face twisting in repulsion. He glared at Cell. “Cell, how could you – how **dare** you get involved with this – this – mutant!”  
“What did you just call me?” Frieza seethed, his tail waving angrily behind him.  
“He’s not a mutant, Doctor.” Cell frowned.  
“No, he’s worse!” King Kold cried. “Frieza, I can’t believe you would do this to me! For decades I have defended your name over and over again! I can’t count the amount of rumours I’ve heard over the years about you forming relationships with your nancyboy slaves, and I put a stop to every single one of them! Time after time I’ve sworn by your marriage to Glacia and killed anyone that has ever dared to accuse you of going with – with… **men**! And this – this is how you repay me? By allowing me to walk in on you and this _monster_?”  
“Monster?” Cell snarled. “Who are you calling a monster, Kold?”  
“Well you are a monster, Cell.” Dr. Gero growled. “If you can do this! You must have absorbed some real freaks when you were alive, because I did **not** program this behaviour into you – I’m ashamed to even call myself your creator!”  
“But Doctor!” Cell protested. “You used Frieza’s DNA to create me! Surely you don’t think he’s that terrible?”  
“I used Goku’s DNA as well, but I wouldn’t want to see you on top of **him**!” Dr. Gero barked.  
“I would.” Zarbon mumbled, earning himself a nasty glare from both Cell and Frieza.

King Kold turned on Frieza, his aura burning so angrily it made his cape fly behind him.  
“You have made a fool of me, Frieza!” King Kold bellowed. “And I will not stand for it! From now on you are officially cut off!”  
“What!” Frieza cried, his eyes widening. “Papa, you don’t mean that!”  
“Wait… You mean – cut off from your money?” Zarbon gasped.  
“My money, my power, my empire and my name!” King Kold snarled. “Frieza, as far as I’m concerned I never had a second son!”  
“King Kold, isn’t that a little extreme?” Dodoria reasoned. “It’s not like he’s into animals or anything.”  
“No, it’s worse!” King Kold snorted. “He’s a faggot!”

Dodoria, Zarbon, Frieza and Cell all gasped, horrified that King Kold could use such a word.  
“A faggot!” Cell cried.  
“King Kold, that’s a very offensive term!” Dodoria frowned, and looked at the Cell Juniors. “Kids, close your ears.”  
“What’s a faggot?” One of the Juniors questioned.  
“It’s your Papa and Uncle Frieza.” Dr. Gero spat.  
“What!” Cell roared. “No – Kids, that isn’t true.” He turned to Dr. Gero and glared at him coldly. “Do _not_ say that to my children.”  
“Hmph. It’s not even true, you imbecile.” Frieza growled. “If you must know, Cell and I are bisexual. Zarbon’s the faggot.”  
“ **What**!” Zarbon cried. “Don’t drag me into this, Lord Frieza! This is nothing to do with me!”  
“Zarbon, all those rumours I put an end to were _about_ you.” King Kold seethed. “I first heard about you and Frieza over forty years ago – I never wanted to believe it, but I suppose it was true, wasn’t it?” He snorted, and shot Cell a nasty glance. “And now, look. You’ve been dumped for someone even more revolting.”  
“Well actually Zarbon and Lord Frieza are still –” Dodoria began, but stopped talking when Frieza shot him a deadly glance. “… Never mind.”

King Kold turned pale, and looked like he was about to throw up.  
“Oh my God!” He groaned. “Frieza – is this true? _Both_ of them? Is one boyfriend not humiliation enough for me? You have to have two on the go, like a common whore?”  
“Hey!” Cell barked, taking an aggressive stance. “He is **not** a common whore!”  
“That’s right, he’s an uncommon whore.” Dr. Gero sneered. “Because how often do you get someone that looks as disgusting as him? Honestly Cell, if you were going to make yourself lower than dirt couldn’t you have at least done it with a human?”  
“Oh, you mean the inferior species that managed to breed you?” Frieza snarled.  
“You rotten bastard!” Dr. Gero hissed, advancing on Frieza. “I’m going to rip that slimy tail of yours clean off you little –” He stopped dead in his tracks when Cell stepped in front of him, blocking Dr. Gero’s path.

Dr. Gero glared up at Cell and gritted his teeth. “Cell.” He seethed. “Move.”  
“No.” Cell pouted stubbornly. “Doctor – you disgust me. Both of you do. Frieza and I are more powerful than both of you. In fact, _I_ am more powerful than both of you put together. Between Frieza and myself we can achieve more than your small-minded brains could even begin to imagine, and yet here you are, opposing to the single greatest alliance in the history of the universe.” He folded his arms and narrowed his eyes at King Kold and Dr. Gero. “Is it really that surprising that we would get together? We’re the only two people in the universe worthy of each other.”  
“Yes, that’s right Papa.” Frieza smirked, standing beside Cell. “Think of what we could accomplish with Cell on our side – you should be thanking me for bringing him into the family.”   
“Thanking you? _Thanking you_?” King Kold cried. “Frieza – he’s a man! And you were **kissing** him!”  
“Oh, they’ve been doing more than that!” Dr. Gero snarled. “It’s disgusting!”  
“Oh, shut up, you old fools.” Cell snorted. “I’m sure you’ve seen much worse things than two men in love.”  
“Uh… What?” Frieza uttered, staring at Cell with wide eyes.   
“Yeah, _what_?” Zarbon and Dodoria gasped.   
“And Dr. Gero,” Cell continued on, oblivious to the others’ reactions. “If you were so against me going with a man, then perhaps you shouldn’t have programmed me to have feelings at all.”  
“What… What feelings, Cell?” Frieza choked. “Since when were we in love?”

Cell paused for a moment as he thought about what he’d just said, then all of a sudden he let out a loud gasp and clasped his hand over his mouth, his eyes widening. Oh crap. He hadn’t meant to say that.  
“Uh…” Cell stammered. “We – … no.” He looked at Frieza. “No – of course not. We’re not in love, we’re just –” He glanced at the Cell Juniors, then spoke cautiously. “We’re just… ‘having fun’, you know that. All I meant was, if we were - - you know… then they would have no right to criticise it! We’re obviously superior to them in every possible way, whether we are or aren’t… in love.” His cheeks started to darken slightly as he became more embarrassed, and he looked away. “But of course we’re not.”  
“Yes… right. You’re right.” Frieza nodded. “We are superior to them. … And we aren’t in love.”  
“No.” Cell nodded. 

They stared at each other for a moment in awkward silence, while the others stared at them.   
“Anyway…” Zarbon mumbled after a long, agonising pause. “Moving on –”  
“Frieza.” Cell said, gazing at the icejin timidly.  
“Yes…?” Frieza quietly replied.  
“… I love you.”  
“ _ **What**_?” King Kold, Dr. Gero and Zarbon all screamed.  
“Aww.” Dodoria smiled.   
“Yay!” The Cell Juniors all cheered and started dancing amongst themselves. “Papa’s going to get married!” They exclaimed. “He’s going to marry Uncle Frieza!”  
“He’s going to **what**?” King Kold snarled, glaring down at the Juniors.  
“Over my dead body!” Dr. Gero declared. “I’ll erase my very existence before I see my most perfect creation married to this freak!”  
“Oh.” Cell uttered, and approached Dr. Gero. He towered over the doctor and smirked down at him, his eyes twinkling deviously. “Well… if you’re going to erase your own existence, you won’t be needing this.” He grabbed hold of one of Dr. Gero’s earrings and ripped it from his ear, causing the doctor to cry out.   
“Hey!” Dr. Gero barked. “Cell, what are you – **no**!” 

King Kold, Dr. Gero and Zarbon all watched in horror as Cell approached Frieza and got down on one knee.  
“Frieza…” Cell began.  
“C-Cell…” Frieza choked. “What are you doing?” Cell simply smirked, and held the earring up to Frieza.  
“Will you marry me?” He asked.  
“ **No**!” King Kold cried. “No! Frieza – I forbid you to say yes!”  
“ _You_ forbid him?” Zarbon gasped, and glared at Frieza sternly. “Lord Frieza I have been your secret mistress for forty years, you aren’t marrying anybody except me!”  
“Cell…” Frieza mumbled, staring down at the android with wide eyes. “Are you insane? You don’t – you don’t actually love me?”  
“Well… I think I do.” Cell replied. “So will you marry me?”  
“Say yes, Lord Frieza!” Dodoria grinned.  
“Shut up, Dodoria!” Zarbon snarled, turning on him. “This is nothing to do with you!” He turned back to Frieza. “Lord Frieza, say n –”  
“Okay.” Frieza uttered, then smiled down at Cell, his cheeks darkening slightly. “Yes… I will.”  
“ _ **No**_!” King Kold, Dr. Gero and Zarbon all wailed in despair as Cell rose to his feet and placed the earring on Frieza’s finger.  
“Frieza, how – how could you do this to me!” King Kold cried. “You are **not** getting married to that monster, I forbid it! I gave you permission to have one marriage and that was to a woman, and if you think that I would ever let you marry this creature than you’re even more foolish than I thought!”  
“Frieza… Do you mind?” Cell asked.  
“No.” Frieza answered. “Go ahead.”  
“Thank you.”

Cell approached King Kold, and smirked. “Papa… listen to me. Seeing as we’re going to be family soon, I’ll give you one chance to give us your blessing and leave unharmed. Otherwise, I’ll break your legs.”  
“Ha!” King Kold snorted. “Do your worst! You must have a glitch in your programming if you think that I am allowing you to marry my s – **aiiii**!” He screamed in pain as Cell kicked him in the leg so hard his foot drove through King Kold’s bones and came out on the other side of King Kold’s leg. Cell removed his foot and watched as King Kold fell to the ground, writhing in pain.   
“Haha!” The Cell Juniors grinned, watching in glee as King Kold lay at Cell’s mercy.  
“Would you like me to do the other one?” Cell offered.  
“No!” King Kold wailed, suddenly realising that Cell would not hesitate to destroy him. “No! No – you have my blessing! Welcome to the family, Son!”  
“Thank you, Papa.” Cell smirked. “Oh – and as a wedding gift I think you should offer Frieza and myself a third of you empire, don’t you?”  
“What!” King Kold cried. “A third of my empire? Are you out of your mind!”  
“Oh?” Cell uttered, placing his foot on King Kold’s other leg. “Do you think a half would be more appropriate?”  
“N-No!” King Kold stammered. “A third is fine! Yes! If we ever return to life, a third of my living empire is yours!”  
“Yes, we’ll take that that too.” Cell nodded. “But I was talking about a third of the empire you’ve built down here, Papa.” He looked at King Kold sternly, and pressed his foot onto the icejin’s leg. “Don’t try to trick me, now.”  
“No – no, I wouldn’t dream of it!” King Kold insisted. “A third of what I have now is yours – wine, chocolate, alien slaves – all yours!”  
“Good.” Cell beamed, and released King Kold. “Well then, you may go. We’ll see you at the wedding.”  
“Y-Yes, Son…” King Kold mumbled bitterly. “I’m looking forward to it.” He winced in pain as he struggled to use his leg, then without so much as looking at Frieza or Cell he flew out of the cave.

Dr. Gero continued to stand there stubbornly, glaring at Frieza and Cell.   
“You don’t have **my** blessing.” He snarled. “You don’t scare me, Cell. I created you, and I can destroy you.”  
“Well we both know that isn’t true.” Cell replied bluntly. “But, you are my creator. I couldn’t possibly bring myself to harm you…” He smirked. “So I’ll let my fiancé do it.” He stepped aside and allowed Frieza to approach Dr. Gero. Dr. Gero simply glared at Frieza and snorted.  
“Well? What are you going to do, Lizard Boy?” He snarled.  
“So kind of you to ask, Doctor.” Frieza purred. “This.” He moved his tail so quickly Dr. Gero didn’t even see it, and the scientist suddenly found himself impaled through his chest, with Frieza’s tail having gone straight through him. Dr. Gero paused for a moment, then stared down at Frieza’s tail, then he looked back up to see Frieza smirking at him menacingly. “I know that wasn’t enough to destroy you, but you get the idea.” Frieza said. “Would you like me to make a hole in your head next?”  
“Uh… no.” Dr. Gero answered. “No… No thank you, Frieza.” He bit his lip and gritted his teeth as he moved backwards, pulling himself off Frieza’s tail. “Uh… congratulations.”  
“Thanks, Doctor.” Cell grinned. “Could you have the kids again tomorrow?”  
“Yes… Sure.” Dr. Gero nodded.   
“Great.” Cell beamed. “Pick them up at midday – oh, and don’t teach them any more offensive words.”  
“I wouldn’t dream of it, my little glimmer of perfection…” Dr. Gero muttered angrily.  
“Say bye-bye to Grandpa, Boys.” Frieza instructed, and the Cell Juniors obediently turned to Dr. Gero to grin up at him menacingly.  
“Bye-bye, Grandpa! Get well soon!” The Cell Juniors taunted, causing Frieza, Cell, Dodoria and Zarbon to all burst out laughing. Dr. Gero simply turned away and stormed out of the cave, muttering something angrily. 

After he had gone Cell folded his arms and grinned proudly.  
“Well. That showed them.” He stated.  
“Yeah…” Frieza mumbled, taking Dr. Gero’s earring off his finger. “But I wand a different ring, Cell. This is disgusting.”  
“What!” Cell cried. “Where am I supposed to get you an engagement ring?”  
“Not my problem.” Frieza shrugged.  
“Aww…” Dodoria smiled. “Congratulations, you guys. I’m happy for you.”  
“Tch. I’m not!” Zarbon frowned. “I can’t believe you’re doing this to me, Lord Frieza! After all those years – you always said that **I** was going to be your husband! I can’t believe you’re dumping me for a cyborg bug!”  
“A _what_?” Cell snarled.  
“I’m not dumping you, Zarbon. You can still be our boyfriend.” Frieza replied, and looked at Cell. “Right?”  
“Sure.” Cell smirked. “So long as he does what he’s told and only speaks when spoken to.”  
“Oh – you **bastard**!” Zarbon hissed. “Lord Frieza, how could you! After years of being your loyal follower – I have been by your side day in day out for the past sixty years, and this is the thanks I get? **I** met you first, Lord Frieza! You and I were an item before that thing was even born! I have earned the right to be your husband, I deserve it! Do you have any idea how many offers I’ve turned down over the years for you? Do you have any idea how many billionaires have approached me and asked me to be _their_ right-hand-man? More than you can count! And I didn’t go with a single one of them because I am one hundred per cent loyal to –”  
“Oh Zarbon, shut up.” Dodoria scolded, much to everyone’s surprise.

Dodoria turned to Zarbon and snorted. “Who the hell are you trying to fool? You didn’t stay with Lord Frieza out of loyalty – you stayed with him because he had the most money and the most power, the exact same reason you started sleeping with him in the first place. You’re a gold-digger, Zarbon, and don’t even try to say you aren’t.”  
“Oh, really?” Zarbon sniped. “And why do you suppose Cell hooked up with Lord Frieza, when he had his choice of any peasant down here?”  
“Well it wasn’t for his money.” Dodoria argued. “But I have no idea why. Maybe he’s not all that perfect in the head.”  
What!” Frieza snarled, glaring at Dodoria. “How _dare_ you! What exactly are you implying?”  
“I’m implying that you’re the worst person that ever lived.” Dodoria hissed. “You’re arrogant, short-tempered, loud, spoilt – I don’t know what Cell sees in you.” He turned to Zarbon. “But it isn’t his money, or his power. Cell might just be the only person in the entire universe that could ever love Lord Frieza for who he is instead of how much he’s worth, and that makes him a much better choice than you, Zarbon.”  
“Aww…” Cell smiled. “Dodoria, that’s beautiful.”  
“Oh shut up Cell, it’s drivel.” Zarbon spat. “And by the way – even if you do ‘love’ Lord Frieza for who he is, he doesn’t love you.” He glared at Dodoria. “So your little speech is meaningless, because at least one of them isn’t marrying for love. Lord Frieza is just like me: shallow. That’s why _we’re_ perfect for each other.”  
“Yeah well Zarbon, a couple of years ago I would have agreed with you.” Dodoria nodded. “But that was before they moved in.” He pointed at the Cell Juniors, and narrowed his eyes at Zarbon. 

Zarbon looked at the children, then back at Dodoria, and snorted.  
“What exactly are you trying to say?” He demanded.  
“Lord Frieza tolerates them.” Dodoria stated. “And he hates them.”  
“So?” Zarbon replied.  
“Are – are you serious?” Dodoria blinked, shocked that it even needed explaining. Seriously? How well did Zarbon know Frieza? “Zarbon – Lord Frieza _hates_ them, but he tolerates them. When have you ever known him to do that? Lord Frieza doesn’t tolerate people, he kills people! Hell, if he’s bored enough he’ll even kill people he likes! There is no way he’d let those little monsters live here if he wasn’t totally crazy about Cell!”  
“Hey!” Frieza cried, turning violet. “Dodoria – shut up!”  
“Is that true?” Cell asked, staring at him.  
“Well…” Frieza mumbled. “Yes, Cell… I do hate your children.”  
“Not that part!” Cell barked. “The part about you tolerating them for me!”  
“Oh.” Frieza uttered, and looked away. “Well… I never really thought about it.”  
“It’s true, Cell.” Dodoria stated, folding his arms. “Believe me. I’ve worked for Lord Frieza for five decades and I’ve never seen him do anything for anybody, but he’ll do anything for you. It’s a terrifying thought, but… I think you two might have actually been made for each other.”

Frieza and Cell remained silent for a long moment, unsure of how to respond. After a long pause, Cell finally grinned.  
“Dodoria!” He beamed. “That’s so sweet!”  
“What?” Zarbon frowned.  
“Hm.” Frieza grunted. “Yes, well… Whatever. Perhaps I won’t kill your family after all, Dodoria.”  
“Oh gee, thanks.” Dodoria replied sarcastically.  
“Dodoria,” Cell smiled. “Will you say all that stuff at our wedding?”  
“What?” Dodoria blinked, taken aback. “Well… I, uh… …” He looked at Frieza. “… Is that what you guys want?”  
“Well… yes.” Frieza shrugged. “I suppose.” He smirked a little. “After all, it is the only worthwhile thing you’ve ever said.”  
“Okay… Sure.” Dodoria nodded. “I won’t remember it word for word, though.”  
“That’s fine, nobody will be listening to you anyway.” Frieza said, waving his hand.  
“Ignore him, they’ll be listening.” Cell insisted. “Thanks, Dodoria!”  
“Don’t mention it…” Dodoria mumbled.  
“Wait – don’t you want me to make a speech?” Zarbon pouted. “I am in a relationship with both of you.”  
“Oh, no thank you, Zarbon.” Frieza smirked. “Just stand there and look pretty, you’re good at that.”  
“What!” Zarbon cried, insulted. “Lord Frieza –”  
“Haha!” Dodoria taunted, pulling a face at Zarbon. “Loser!”  
“And the best part of all,” Cell grinned, pointing at the Cell Juniors who were now invading Frieza’s chocolate supply. “They’ll finally have two parents! You’ll be their father as well, Frieza.”  
“Oh…” Frieza uttered, suddenly looking disheartened. “Yes… how wonderful…”

Cell grinned again, then his face fell when he noticed the Juniors making their way into the wine cellar.  
“Hey, Kids – leave the wine alone, that’s not for children.” He said, following them. “… Kids? Did you hear what I just said? … _Kids_?”  
“Little bastard.” Dodoria sighed. 

Zarbon shot Frieza a nasty smirk, and winked.  
“Congratulations, Lord Frieza. I hope you enjoy your new family.” He sneered.   
“Shut up, Gold Digger.” Frieza snarled, and raced off to give his new children the beating they deserved.


	19. Returning To Earth, Again!

Zarba glanced up, and let out a sigh at the sight of her former empress. Poor Frikiza. Time had dragged on, and Frikiza was now on her last week of life, with no obvious way of extending it. Frikiza was in her capsule house with Zarba and Doria, glumly sprawled across the sofa while Doria sat at her side and Zarba knelt on the floor, staring into a mirror and doing her makeup at the coffee table.  
“Don’t worry, Frikiza.” Zarba said reassuringly. “Dying won’t be so bad. Zarbon said the pain only lasts a few seconds – and we can come visit you!”  
“Thanks.” Frikiza mumbled. “But you could only visit me if I was in hell and you guys were working as counsellors – and I’m kind of hoping that I’ve at least earned the right to go to heaven now.”  
“Tch. Why?” Zarba snorted. “Heaven is boring. All the fun people go to hell.”  
“Well… either way,” Frikiza sighed. “Wherever I go, once I’m dead I can’t switch universes, and I can’t work as a counsellor anymore… not even in our universe.”  
“That’s a stupid rule.” Doria frowned. “You could do so much good as a counsellor, whether you’re alive or dead! What difference does it make?”  
“No switching universes, huh?” Zarba said as she stared at her own reflection. She smirked. “So I guess no more conjugal visits with Inky?”  
“Stop calling him that!” Frikiza scolded. Still… it was better than the full nickname of ‘Incubus’ that Zarba seemed to be so fond of – not that King Piccolo liked either of them…

Zarba simply giggled.  
“How are things with Mr. Angry?” She asked.  
“Awkward.” Frikiza sighed. “It’s just not been the same lately…”  
“Well Frikiza, did you really expect it to me?” Doria reasoned. “Considering the circumstances – death isn’t exactly a turn-on.”  
“So what, he hasn’t been making the most of you?” Zarba questioned.  
“No, we’ve still been doing it… but not as often.” Frikiza answered. “But even when we do, it’s different. It’s kind of… awkward.” She lowered her eyes, a look of disappointment on her face. “To be honest, it’s my own fault. I think I freaked him out a little.”  
“Oh.” Zarba smirked. “You showed him your third form?”  
“ _ **No**_!” Frikiza yelled, causing Zarba to giggle again.

Frikiza looked away stubbornly. “I’m not telling you.” She pouted.  
“Oh come on, I was just joking.” Zarba protested. “But your third form _is_ your ugliest. I hated it.”  
“You didn’t hate all of it.” Frikiza replied, narrowing her eyes at Zarba meaningfully. Zarba blushed a little, and turned back to the mirror.  
“Anyway!” Doria growled, trying to get the unwanted image of Zarba and Frikiza out of her mind. She looked at Frikiza. “How did you freak him out?”  
“Well, I uh…” Frikiza mumbled, her cheeks darkening. “I kind of… told him I love him.”  
“ **What**!” Doria and Zarba both cried, staring at her.  
“Frikiza!” Zarba yelled. “What the hell!”  
“I couldn’t help it!” Frikiza protested. “I didn’t mean to! But we were arguing, and in the heat of the moment it just – came out!”  
“Oh, no…” Doria groaned.

Zarba let out a disapproving sigh.  
“No wonder things are awkward.” She scolded. “I guess he doesn’t feel the same way?”  
“No.” Frikiza answered glumly. “He doesn’t think he’s even capable of love.”  
“Well he might be right.” Zarba reasoned. “He is pure evil.”  
“But he’s not!” Frikiza insisted. “He’s mostly evil, but not totally! He can love, just like everybody else.”  
“Yeah well – he doesn’t love _you_.” Zarba frowned. “Really, Friki – you had a good thing there, why did you have to go and ruin it?”   
“I told you, I didn’t mean to!” Frikiza argued. “It just came out, okay? I couldn’t help it! And it’s not like I _wanted_ to love him, it just – happened!”  
“Tch. Right.” Zarba scoffed. “You know why? You’re all about the feelings.” She turned back to her mirror. “It’s like I always told you, Frikiza. You have a brilliant mind, but you do all your thinking with your heart. Frieza’s exactly the same. If he used his brain for something other than counting his money, he’d still be alive now – and if **you** used your brain more often, you wouldn’t be in this situation.”  
“Yeah, that may be true, Zarba…” Doria said with a small smile. “But think about it – if Frikiza had stayed bad she never would have even met King Piccolo, and if Frieza hadn’t died he wouldn’t have met Cell.”  
“Well, you have a point there…” Zarba reluctantly admitted.  
“They’re a good couple, aren’t they?” Frikiza smiled. “Frieza promised me he’d have the wedding before next week – there’s no way I’m missing it!” She looked at Zarba and Doria. “And you two are invited as well.”  
“Dammit, Frikiza!” Zarba scolded. “Why the hell did you tell me – now I have to go!”  
“Well why wouldn’t you want to go?” Frikiza questioned.  
“I _do_ want to go.” Zarba replied. “But if I do, Zarbon will have a fit.”  
“Oh, fuck Zarbon.” Doria growled. “You don’t owe him anything – and he’s going too!”  
“He has to, they’re his boyfriends.” Zarba said. “But if I go he’ll think I’m taking Cell’s side – you know what he’s like.”

Frikiza rolled her eyes.  
“Is he really that bitter about it?” She growled. “Can’t he just be happy for them?”  
“He probably is, he’s just being dramatic.” Zarba huffed. She smirked. “But…” She looked at Frikiza and Doria. “Don’t say anything – but he’s planning on making a move on Bardock at the wedding, just to be a bitch.”  
“ _No_!” Frikiza and Doria both gasped.  
“Seriously? That’s so petty!” Frikiza protested.  
“And why would Bardock even go to Frieza’s wedding?” Doria frowned.  
“His wife Gine wants to go.” Zarba answered.  
“But why –”  
“Because, as Incubus would put it, ‘she’s a bleeding heart sap that takes her rehabilitation classes too seriously’.” Zarba smirked. “She’s all about forgiveness and soul cleansing… You know. Crap.”  
“It’s not crap!” Frikiza argued.   
“Whatever.” Zarba replied, rolling her eyes.  
“Yeah but even so – why does Frieza even want saiyans at the wedding?” Doria asked.  
“To piss of King Kold.” Zarba giggled. “Seriously – everyone’s just being spiteful to everyone else. That wedding is going to be one giant bitch fest.”  
“Hm…” Doria uttered, then smirked a little. “Still. Bardock, huh? Just to get at Frieza?”  
“Mm-hm.” Zarba nodded. “But personally, I can think of a better reason to go with Bardock…” She winked.  
“I know, right?” Frikiza giggled. “He’s hot.”  
“Yeah – Burda’s _definitely_ hotter as a guy.” Doria grinned.  
“Mm-hm.” Zarba agreed, examining her lipstick in the mirror. “Friki, I love this mirror! When you die can I have it?”  
“Zarba!” Doria yelled, glaring at her.  
“Sure.” Frikiza mumbled glumly. “Take whatever you want – I was just going to give the house to Frieza and Cell anyway.”  
“Can I have your TV?” Doria questioned, looking at her.  
“Yeah.” Frikiza said.

Zarba paused for a moment, remaining perfectly still as an idea came to her.  
“That’s it!” She gasped. “Cell!” She turned to face Frikiza. “Friki – I know how we can save you!”  
“You do?” Frikiza beamed, suddenly perking up. “How?”  
“With Nucli!” Zarba exclaimed.  
“Nucli?” Frikiza blinked. “You mean Nucleus?”  
“Yeah – you said that Cell’s stronger than King Kold and Coola, right?” Zarbon nodded. “So that must mean Nucleus is stronger than your mother and sister.”  
“Well… not necessarily.” Frikiza said, becoming disheartened again. “Remember – Kold and Coola died before Cell was even born, so they didn’t have the chance to catch up like my family’s had.”  
“There wasn’t that much of a time difference.” Zarba replied. “Anyway, think about it – it’ll be Nucleus, and the girls, and you, me and Doria against those two – and there is no **way** they’ll be able to take on all of us.”  
“Frikiza, she’s right!” Doria gasped. “And Kuria’ll be with us too! She even didn’t want to join your mother, she just did it because your mother threatened to kill her! But – with all of us, that won’t be a problem anymore.”  
“I don’t know…” Frikiza mumbled. “Nucleus has worked so hard to turn over a new leaf, and she’s just got the girls under control… I can’t ask her to undo all her hard work.”  
“Oh come on Frikiza, yes you can!” Zarba snapped. “You don’t have a choice! If you don’t accept her help, you’ll die!”  
“That’s right!” Doria looked at Frikiza pleadingly. “Please, Frikiza. Nucleus won’t mind – and actually, think about it – if she finds out that you died and we didn’t give her the chance to save you, she’ll hate us!”  
“That’s true, she will.” Zarba nodded.

Frikiza went quiet for a moment as she considered it. Really…? Could Nucleus save her…? Well… she really didn’t want Nucleus to get back into fighting again – and especially not the Mini Nucleuses… They were the female versions of the Cell Juniors, and it had taken a lot of time and effort from Frikiza and their mother Nucleus, the female version of Cell, to get the Minis to behave. … But… Zarba was right. Of course she was right. What choice did Frikiza have? It would just be a one-off after all, and Frikiza wouldn’t use the girls unless she had to – and if she did, she would help Nucleus retrain them afterwards. … Okay.  
“Okay.” Frikiza smiled. “Okay, let’s - - … wait.” She looked at Zarba as a thought suddenly came to her. “How is Nucleus going to help? She’s dead! She can’t fight my mother!”  
“That’s fine, we’ll just bring her back to life with the dragonballs.” Zarba shrugged. “No big deal.”  
“How exactly are you going to find them?” Frikiza growled. “There’s no way Yasa would let you!”  
“Yasa?” Zarba snorted. “What’s she got to do with it?”  
“Her husband invented the dragon radar – if you want to gather Earth’s dragonballs in time you’ll need to get it off him, and Yasa won’t let that happen.” Frikiza replied.  
“… Dammit!” Zarba growled, folding her arms in frustration. “You know Frikiza, maybe you shouldn’t have orphaned her and destroyed her entire planet.”  
“ ** _I know that_**!” Frikiza screamed, causing Zarba to flinch a little.

Doria looked at them.  
“Guys, it’s okay. It’s not like the dragonballs come from Earth anyway.” She shrugged. “Why don’t we just go to Namek? They don’t have anything against you, Frikiza.” It was true. Fortunately Frikiza had turned good before she’d even heard of the planet Namek, and she had never set foot there in her life, so she hadn’t managed to make enemies of its inhabitants. Finally, not living Frieza’s life seemed to be paying off!  
“That’s a great idea!” Frikiza exclaimed. “Doria – you’re a genius!”  
“What!” Zarba cried. “It was my idea!”  
“You wanted to use Earth’s dragonballs.” Doria pouted.  
“But listen – will you make it there in time?” Frikiza asked.  
“What do you mean?” Doria blinked.  
“Well – when you go back to our universe and leave hell, they’ll just send you back to where you came from, which is Planet Sarra, right?” Frikiza began. “So you’ll have to get to Namek from there, so how long will it take you?”

Frikiza’s heart sank as she watched Doria’s face slowly fall. Oh, no… “Doria…?” Frikiza mumbled.  
“Uh…” Doria uttered, lowering her eyes. “… About a month.”  
“… I can only stay here for a week.” Frikiza said quietly.

The three of them sat in despair, disheartened, until Doria glared at Zarba.  
“Dammit Zarba! Thanks for getting our hopes up!” She yelled.  
“Hey, at least I’m thinking of ideas!” Zarba snapped. “Anyway, you were quick enough to take the credit when you thought it’d work!”

At that moment there was a knock on the door. “I’ll get it.” Zarba huffed, standing up. She made her way over to the door, with Frikiza and Doria watching to see who it was. Zarba opened the door and a huge grin swept across her face when she saw the mutated namek that was standing outside.  
“Tangerine!” She exclaimed.  
“Oh, no…” Frikiza groaned. _“Zarba! Be nice to him!”_ She silently ordered.  
_“When am I ever not nice?”_ Zarba replied, and smiled at Tambourine again. “I’m sorry, it’s _Tam_ bourine, isn’t it?”  
“Uh… yes, Ma’am.” Tambourine nodded, a small blush forming on his cheeks. “I just uh… I just came to see if you guys needed anything.”  
“Yeah, right.” Doria whispered to Frikiza, and Frikiza had to force herself not to giggle.

Zarba smirked at Tambourine.  
“Is that so?” She purred. “Well… as it happens, I could use your opinion. What do you know about fashion?”  
“Huh?” Frikiza and Doria blinked, frowning at Zarba in confusion.  
“Oh no, what’s she up to…?” Frikiza whimpered. _“Zarba, please! Don’t bully him!”_

Zarba ignored Frikiza and looked at Tambourine.  
“Well?” She pushed.  
“Uh… I’m not sure.” Tambourine answered awkwardly. “Not much, I guess… Why?”  
“Oh, well… this is a new dress.” Zarba answered.  
“Oh.” Tambourine uttered, looking at Zarba’s long blue dress. She looked pretty… “It’s nice. The colour suits you.” Tambourine smiled, and his heart skipped a beat as he met Zarba’s bright golden eyes. She had such beautiful eyes…  
“Oh, I’m not worried about the colour.” Zarba said. “It’s just –” She grabbed hold of her large, round breasts, and pushed them together. “You don’t think it makes these look too big, do you?”  
“ **What**!” Frikiza and Doria cried. “Zarba!”

Tambourine turned bright purple and his eyes widened. His breath suddenly caught in his throat as if he had been brutally winded. He started to tremble, struggling to contain himself as Zarba held her breasts up to him. He looked away immediately, and prayed that he wouldn’t get a nosebleed.  
“Uh - - no.” Tambourine answered quickly. “No, I don’t think so.”  
“Too small?” Zarba asked. “Take another look.”

Tambourine’s cheeks burned even more as he quickly glanced at Zarba, keeping his gaze as short as he possibly could.  
“N-No. They’re definitely not too small.” He said.  
“Oh, good.” Zarba smiled, letting go of her breasts. “Thanks, Tambourine. I really needed the opinion of someone who’s unbiased.”  
“You’re… you’re welcome…” Tambourine uttered, his body still trembling. He looked at Zarba, and forced himself to stare straight into her eyes. “Uh, is… is that all?”  
“Well…” Zarba mused, then she turned to the side and leaned against the doorframe. “How does my butt look? Too big or too small?”  
“Um!” Tambourine squealed, his eyes almost popping out of his skull. “N-Neither! You look – you look great!”  
“Are you sure? You aren’t just being polite are you?” Zarba questioned.  
“No! Not at all!” Tambourine protested. “Honestly – you have a great body! I mean - - No, I didn’t mean that!” He stammered, then let out a sudden gasp when he realised what he’d just said. “I mean – I _did_ , because you do have a great body, but - - what I meant was - - I didn’t mean it in an offensive way!”  
“Offensive?” Zarba repeated, tilting her head slightly and putting a vacant look on her face. “What do you mean?” She asked innocently.  
“You know – uh…” Tambourine quivered, and swallowed. “Uh… never mind! You look great! I have to go now – bye Zarba!” He gasped. “Oh – by Frikiza! By Doria!”  
“Bye…” Frikiza and Doria answered cautiously.  
“Bye, Tangerine!” Zarba exclaimed. “Oh, sorry! Tambourine!” She smiled at him brightly, and watched in glee as Tambourine bolted off towards King Piccolo’s cave as fast as his ki could carry him.

When he had gone Frikiza shot Zarba a nasty glance.  
“That was mean!” She yelled.  
“Oh, it was just a bit of fun.” Zarba giggled, shutting the door. “How could I resist?”  
“Zarba, you know he likes you!” Frikiza pleaded. “Can’t you just show him a little mercy? You know he’s never liked a girl before?”  
“And now that he’s seen me, he’ll never like another girl ever again.” Zarba smirked, and sat back down in front of the coffee table.  
“Whatever.” Frikiza hissed. “But listen, Zarba. If he ever does pluck up the courage to ask you out, do _not_ lead him on. I’m serious.”  
“Oh come on, I wouldn’t be that cruel.” Zarba replied, getting back to her makeup. “Besides, rejecting a guy is the best bit.” She smirked, and Frikiza rolled her eyes.  
“Bitch.” She growled. 

XXXXX

Back in King Piccolo’s cave, King Piccolo was sitting in his throne, tapping his claws against its arm in frustration as Piano, Cymbal and Drum quietly cleaned their surroundings. King Piccolo looked at the three of them, and frowned. Tch. What were they looking so miserable about? Well… He knew the answer. He wished he didn’t. It was Frikiza. They were sulking over her upcoming doom. Well, how did they think **he** felt? Things had been so awkward with Frikiza lately. King Piccolo had wanted to make the most of Frikiza’s body while it was still in this universe, but lately things just hadn’t been the same. Frikiza had lost her passion somehow; she’d lost her power… King Piccolo never would have believed it if he hadn’t witnessed it first hand – apparently there _was_ something good about Frikiza’s personality. It wasn’t just her body that made her sexy, it was her passion and her enthusiasm, and for the past couple of weeks they’d diminished a little more each day. King Piccolo knew why. It was because he didn’t love her. It had to be. Tch. She said she didn’t care about that – yeah, right! So why had she been so terrible in bed lately? Why had she been so distracted, so bland? What, was she worried about dying? Well it was her own fault. She was the one that had chosen to betray her family, so why should King Piccolo be the one that paid the price? Hmph. At this rate, he wouldn’t miss her at all. Not that he would miss her anyway… but now he wouldn’t even miss her body, not unless she started using it properly! What was he supposed to do? He couldn’t suddenly grow a heart and fall in love with her, and he couldn’t make himself care about her. He didn’t care about her. He didn’t want to. He just wanted to fuck her. … That was all. 

King Piccolo and the mutants looked up at the sound of someone entering the cave, and Tambourine came diving into the room like a bolt of lightning, finally skidding to a halt on the floor and throwing himself onto his knees. He squatted down and started hyperventilating, his eyes wide and his face violet.  
“Tambourine!” Piano gasped, rushing to his sibling. “What’s wrong?”   
“It – it’s Zarba…” Tambourine choked.   
“Zarba?” Cymbal repeated. “Is she hurt?”  
“What!” Drum cried, suddenly looking worried. “Wait – does that mean Doria’s hurt as well?”  
“No – no, nothing like that!” Tambourine gasped. “They’re – they’re both fine.” His cheeks turned darker still. “Especially Zarba. She’s… more than fine.”  
“Hm?” King Piccolo frowned at his son. “What’s the matter with you? What happened?” He demanded.  
“Well,” Tambourine began, looking at his master. “I went over to Frikiza’s place to see if they wanted anything, you know…” He lowered his eyes. “Just to… be nice.”  
“You mean you went over there to talk to Zarba?” Cymbal sniggered. “So? Did you ask her out?”  
“No…” Tambourine mumbled. “When I got there, I just… I kind of lost my nerve.”  
“Tch!” King Piccolo snorted. “Pathetic. So is that why you’re in this state? Because you were too afraid of a mere woman to ask her out? Why did I even bother creating you?”  
“Sire…” Piano sighed. “It can be very difficult asking a woman out, you know.”  
“Oh? And how would you know?” King Piccolo smirked. “When was the last time you got a sniff, Piano?”  
_“When was the last time **you** did?”_ Piano thought bitterly, not daring to say it aloud.

Tambourine shook his head.  
“No, King Piccolo – it’s not that.” He said. “It’s just… uh… when I was there, Zarba… asked me for help.”  
“What?” King Piccolo frowned.  
“In what way?” Cymbal questioned, wondering what she could have possibly asked for that had gotten Tambourine into this state.  
“Well, uh – she got this new dress, and…” Tambourine swallowed, his cheeks burning. “And she wanted me to tell her how… how her boobs looked.”  
“What!” His mutant siblings all cried.  
“Yeah.” Tambourine nodded. “And her butt.” He scrunched his eyes shut and shivered. “Guys – she really wanted me to stare! I – I didn’t know what to do!”  
“Well did you stare?” Drum asked.  
“I tried not to, but I had to look! She kept pushing me!” Tambourine protested.  
“Haha.” King Piccolo sniggered. “You should be grateful, Son. That’s the last time a girl like **that** will ask you to look at her. I hope you got your fill.”  
“But Sire, I couldn’t look…” Tambourine whimpered. “It – it’s rude! I don’t want her to think I’m a pervert!”  
“But she asked you to look.” Piano reasoned. “So why would she think ill of you for doing what she asked?”  
“I don’t know, Piano. I heard girls are pretty weird like that.” Cymbal said.   
“Yeah – I heard that too!” Tambourine cried. “Guys, what if she hates me?”  
“Oh Tambourine, stop worrying.” Piano sighed. “You’re making a mountain out of a molehill, I’m sure she just wanted your opinion. You did nothing wrong.”  
“Hey Tambourine, what do they look like?” Cymbal grinned. “Are they big?”  
“Well… I didn’t get a good look…” Tambourine mumbled, blushing again. “But… Yeah. Uh… they’re pretty big.” He looked away in embarrassment. “And squishy-looking…”  
“Are they better than Frikiza’s?” Cymbal asked, glancing at King Piccolo.  
“Uh… I’m not sure.” Tambourine said. “I think so.”  
“Tch. Too bad you’ll never get your hands on them.” King Piccolo spat.

Cymbal glanced at Piano, who smirked back.  
_“That was rather defensive, wasn’t it?”_ Piano said silently to Cymbal.  
_“Yep!”_ Cymbal answered enthusiastically.   
“Hey, Tambourine…” Drum uttered, blushing a little. “Was Doria there…?”  
“Yeah, she was there.” Tambourine smiled. “You know, I think I see what you mean about her having a pretty face.”  
“I like her eyes…” Drum said dreamily.   
“You should ask her out!” Tambourine grinned.  
“Well you should ask out Zarba!” Drum replied.  
“Ah, come on… Zarba’s beautiful. She’s never gonna say yes to me…” Tambourine sighed.  
“What, and you think Doria isn’t beautiful?” Drum growled.  
“No, not that!” Tambourine protested, holding up his hands. “Of course Doria’s beautiful, she’s just not in the same league as Zarba.”  
“Oh, fuck you, Tambourine!” Drum barked. “If you ask me, Zarba’s way too scrawny –”  
“Was Frikiza there?” King Piccolo asked, interrupting Drum.

Tambourine looked at him, and nodded.  
“Yeah. She was there.” He answered. “You haven’t spoken to her?”  
“Nope.” King Piccolo grunted in annoyance. “Did she still look boring?”  
“I – I don’t know what you mean.” Tambourine said. King Piccolo simply snorted and looked away.  
“Never mind.” He growled.  
“Uh… King Piccolo?” Piano began, approaching his master. “Forgive me for prying, but it does seem like things haven’t been going that well between you and Frikiza lately?”  
“Shut up. What would you know?” King Piccolo snarled. “She’s a sex slave – and we’re still having sex, aren’t we?”  
“Yes.” Piano nodded. “But… not as loudly.”  
“Thank God!” Drum groaned. “Piano, don’t complain about that –” He suddenly felt a pair of sharp eyes on him, and looked up to see King Piccolo shooting him a threatening glance. “… Sorry.”  
“Hmph.” King Piccolo scoffed. “I don’t know what gotten into her. She’s completely lost her mood.”  
“Well… she is about to die, Sire.” Piano reasoned. “I doubt she feels particularly ‘active’ at the moment.”  
“Well, she needs to get active!” King Piccolo growled. “It’s so irritating, seeing her so miserable all the time. I hate to see her so down.”  
“Oh, really?” Piano smirked, looking at him meaningfully. King Piccolo glared at Piano.  
“You know what I meant.” He seethed.  
“Of course.” Piano giggled. “Well… why don’t you try to cheer her up?”  
“I’m not telling her I love her.” King Piccolo growled. “Even if it is a lie – the very thought disgusts me. That is the only lie in the world that I am **not** willing to tell.”  
“Well… they do say ‘actions speak louder than words’.” Piano said. “You don’t have to say anything – why don’t you just do something for her? A gesture, to cheer her up?”  
“You mean like going down on her?” King Piccolo uttered. “I’ve already offered, she isn’t interested.”  
“Gross…” The mutants all gagged.

Piano wiped the image of his father and Frikiza out of his mind, and shook his head.  
“No.” He said bluntly. “Something different. Something that gives her the impression you care about her.”  
“But I don’t.” King Piccolo argued. What, was he slow?   
“That’s why I said something that gives the _impression_.” Piano replied. “Frikiza knows you don’t have feelings for her, but I’m sure she’ll still be delighted if you try to cheer her up.”  
“You really think she’ll fall for that?” King Piccolo grunted, not at all convinced.  
“Well, she fell for _you_.” Piano retorted.  
“Good point.” King Piccolo said with a smirk. Haha. What cheek! But maybe Piano was right. If King Piccolo did something to cheer up Frikiza, he wouldn’t have to say anything pathetic, and she would still become easier to live. It was perfect! Piano obviously had King Piccolo’s brains. “So, what do you suggest?” King Piccolo questioned.  
“Well…” Piano thought for a moment, looking promising, then drew a blank. He turned to the other mutants for ideas. “Guys?”  
“Uh…” The mutants stared at him blankly, struggling to think of anything to say. Oh, great!

King Piccolo stamped his foot in annoyance and folded his arms. Idiots. They were absolute **idiots**!  
“Wait – Zarba likes jewellery.” Tambourine said. “Maybe Frikiza likes it too.”  
“Does she wear jewellery?” Cymbal asked, trying to picture Frikiza.   
“Um…”  
“Where the hell am I supposed to get jewellery down here!” King Piccolo demanded. “This isn’t a high street!”  
“Well – what about wine?” Cymbal asked. “She likes wine, right.”  
“Yes.” King Piccolo hissed. “And she’s the one that gives wine to us! What do you suggest I do, wrap up one of her bottles and hope she doesn’t notice? **Idiot**!”  
“Sorry…” Cymbal mumbled sheepishly.  
“Chocolate?” Drum suggested.  
“She’s a counsellor Drum, she hands out the chocolate.” Piano stated, saving King Piccolo the task.  
“Thank you.” King Piccolo muttered. 

The room fell silent as King Piccolo and his mutants tried to think of something to impress Frikiza with, then all of a sudden a wide grin swept across Tambourine’s face.  
“I’ve got it!” He exclaimed. “King Piccolo – you can give her flowers! Girls like flowers!”  
“Flowers?” King Piccolo snarled. Unbelievable… What a **fool**! “Where am I supposed to get flowers!” He yelled.  
“From the Forest of Death.” Tambourine answered, naming a barren forest that occupied a small section of hell. “They have flowers there, I saw them.”  
“Imbecile!” King Piccolo roared. “Those flowers are dead! As is the entire forest!”  
“But we could paint them?” Tambourine suggested. “And make them look pretty?”  
“Yes! Yes, that could work!” Piano nodded enthusiastically. “Remember – it’s the thought that counts, King Piccolo!”  
“And what thought would that be?” King Piccolo spat. “The thought that soon she will look like those flowers?”   
“… Oh yeah.” The mutants mumbled, and they all sighed in disappointment, struggling to think of anything else. 

King Piccolo grunted and looked away angrily. Idiots. How could they even suggest that? Did they really think he was going to turn up at Frikiza’s door with a bunch of painted dead flowers? What the hell did they take him for? They’d better think of something else, and fast! Because he was **not** going to be moronic enough to give Frikiza a bunch of dead flowers. It was _ridiculous_!

XXXXX

Dammit. He felt like a fool. If this didn’t work, those brainless morons were **finished**! King Piccolo was stood outside Frikiza’s door with a bunch of dead roses that Tambourine had attempted to paint red with the blood from Blood Pond. It hadn’t worked. Not properly, anyway. The ‘paint’ was clumpy in some areas, and completely absent in others… Dammit! That idiot couldn’t even paint properly. Why the hell had King Piccolo ever created him? Tambourine had shown so much promise when he’d killed all those martial artists… Then he’d been pitifully defeated by a child Goku and he’d never earned King Piccolo’s respect since. They were idiots, all of them. Incompetent, weak, blundering fools – and if this didn’t work, they would cease to exist. King Piccolo banged on Frikiza’s door, and waited impatiently for her to answer. After all, she was about to decide the fate of his children.

Inside the house Frikiza, Zarba and Doria were still discussing Frikiza’s options.  
“Why don’t you just send Incubus up to Earth again?” Zarba suggested. “He can get the dragonballs for you.”  
“That won’t work.” Frikiza sighed.  
“Yeah…” Zarba mumbled. “I guess he’ll just use them himself, huh…?”  
“No – I don’t think that!” Frikiza frowned. “At least, I’d like to think he’d use at least one of his wishes to help me…” She sighed. “But the dragonballs he’d gather would be from this universe, so they wouldn’t be able to revive anyone in our universe – so they’d be no good to Nucli.”  
“Oh.” Zarba uttered. “Oh yeah… you have a point.”  
“Hm… I was going to send him back to Earth for a day anyway, though. I think he’s earned it, he _has_ been going to his meetings.” Frikiza said. “I got permission to send him this morning, but I haven’t told him yet –” She was suddenly interrupted by an almighty thud on her front door.  
“Who the hell is that!” Doria frowned.  
“Ooo!” Zarba grinned, her face lighting up. “Maybe it’s Tambourine after another round!”  
“Oh – well Zarba if it is then be nice to him!” Frikiza snapped. “Actually, on second thought – _I’ll_ get the door.” She hopped off the sofa and walked past Zarba.

Frikiza opened the door, and blinked in surprise to see King Piccolo standing in front of her.  
“Piccolo?” She uttered. “The class isn’t until this evening.”  
“I know.” King Piccolo stated. “I’m not here for the class.”  
“… Oh.” Frikiza uttered, realising why he was here. “Well – sorry, now’s not a good time. Zarba and Doria are here.”  
“So tell them to leave.” King Piccolo shrugged.  
“Why should I?” Frikiza argued. “Just go and masturbate, I’m busy!”

King Piccolo snorted. Bitch. How dare she say no to him! Now she deserved dead flowers.  
“I brought you these.” King Piccolo growled, and held the badly painted bouquet out to her. Frikiza looked down at the flowers, trying to work out what the hell they were.  
“Are those roses?” She asked.  
“Yes.” King Piccolo answered.  
“ _Dead_ roses?” Frikiza glared at him, her eyes suddenly burning with anger. “Is this your idea of a joke?”  
“What? No!” King Piccolo protested. Dammit, those morons and their stupid ideas! He **knew** she would react like this! “You can’t get live flowers down here – so this will have to do!”  
“Really? You couldn’t think of anything better to bring me?” Frikiza snarled. “How about wine? Or chocolate?”  
“Frikiza – I get those things off **you**!” King Piccolo barked. “Why the hell would I give you something that you can just give yourself? It’s the thought that counts, you little ingrate!”

Frikiza suddenly froze as she realised how annoyed King Piccolo seemed. Oh God… He wasn’t joking, was he? He wasn’t trying to mock her. He… He really was trying to be nice. Finally, after all her hard work… … Aww. King Piccolo was trying to be nice to her! How touching! Frikiza’s heart melted and she looked at him fondly, her entire body suddenly filling with warmth.  
“Piccolo…” Frikiza uttered softly. She took the flowers off him, and smiled. “You’re right. I can get wine and chocolate myself – you’ve obviously put a lot of thought into this…” She stared down at the flowers awkwardly, noticing that they’d been painted with some sort of blotchy liquid. It smelt like… “Is this blood?” Frikiza asked.  
“Yes.” King Piccolo mumbled, looking away. “From Blood Pond.”  
“Did you paint them yourself?”  
“No.” King Piccolo growled. “Tambourine did – if _I’d_ painted them, they would have looked more alive!”

Frikiza giggled.   
“Oh well. He did a good enough job.” She said. She took hold of King Piccolo’s shirt lightly and pulled him down, then she leaned up onto her tiptoes to kiss King Piccolo’s cheek. “Thank you.” She smiled. King Piccolo blushed, and pulled away.  
“You’re welcome.” He growled, unsure of how to react. That was weird. He’d never been thanked before… Not by someone he hadn’t just threatened to kill, anyway. Or someone that wasn’t completely terrified of him. It felt… strange. Different. Frikiza smiled again, and took hold of King Piccolo’s hand.  
“Do you want a drink?” She offered. King Piccolo looked at her. Huh. She seemed different now. Lately when Frikiza had offered him a drink, she’d done it reluctantly, as if she felt like she had to but she didn’t really want to. Now… She seemed sincere. She seemed… Happy. Alive. Like she had been at the beginning. … Wow. King Piccolo couldn’t believe it – this ridiculous dead flowers idea had actually worked! Amazing! King Piccolo smirked as Frikiza started to pull him into the house, her tail against his back and pushing him in after her. Yes! He was _definitely_ going to have fun with her!

King Piccolo allowed Frikiza to lead him into the living room, and he took a seat in the chair behind Zarba, who grinned widely at him.  
“Incubus!” She exclaimed. “How are you – ew…” She looked questionably at the bunch of dead roses Frikiza had in her hand. “… Please tell me that isn’t a gift.” Zarba uttered.  
“Shut up Zarba, it’s the thought that counts.” Frikiza scolded, and smiled at King Piccolo. “I’ll get you a drink – wine or melon soda?”  
“Melon soda…” King Piccolo mumbled, glaring at Zarba as Frikiza wandered into the kitchen.

Zarba huffed.  
“You know, she must really think you’re something special, Inky.” She frowned.  
“Oh yeah? What makes you say that?” King Piccolo snarled.  
“Because when _we_ were in a relationship, Frikiza never would have accepted dead roses from me.” Zarba sniped, then she smirked. “She always liked my flower to be fresh and vibrant.”  
“ **Zarba**!” Doria yelled. “Don’t be disgusting! I don’t need to picture you and Frikiza!”  
“Well, have some consideration.” Zarba purred, eyeing King Piccolo up flirtatiously. “Maybe Incubus wants to hear about it – don’t you, Mr. Wrong?”  
“Shut up!” King Piccolo growled. “No, I don’t – and **stop** calling me ‘Incubus’!”  
“Fine.” Zarba smirked.

King Piccolo looked away, enraged by Zarba’s attitude. The nerve of her. She had no respect whatsoever – for him or Frikiza! How dare she talk so carelessly about his - - … well. She wasn’t his girlfriend, was she? … Fine. Zarba could say what she wanted about Frikiza, it wasn’t like King Piccolo cared. … Actually, now that he thought about it, the image of Zarba and Frikiza was – “Hey.”

Zarba’s voice snapped King Piccolo from his daydream, and he looked up to see Zarba standing next to him. She draped her arm around King Piccolo’s shoulders and leaned into him, lips almost touching his ear as she spoke in a silky voice. “Is it true that nameks are hermaphrodites?”   
“What if we are?” King Piccolo demanded, shrugging her off him before her breath against his skin could give him an unwanted reaction.   
“So you have vaginas?” Zarba asked.  
“Zarba!” Doria gasped, her eyes widening. She looked at King Piccolo apologetically. “Sorry – she has boundary issues!”  
“I do not!” Zarba pouted, and turned back to King Piccolo. “Is it like mine?”  
“How the hell should I know!” King Piccolo barked. “I’ve never seen yours!” Although, if she offered to show him…  
“Well, it’s like Frikiza’s?” Zarba answered.  
“… Sort of.” King Piccolo mumbled, his cheeks darkening slightly. Why was she even asking that? His biology was nothing to do with her! If she was really that interested, why didn’t she ask Tambourine to strip for her? Then maybe he’d get the courage to ask her out, the worthless little coward.   
“Okay, well you’re in luck – because I’ve got a tip for you.” Zarba grinned. “I can tell you’re the sort of man that likes to act like a man, right? But take it from me, as someone who was Frikiza’s satisfied lover for years…” She looked at King Piccolo, her eyes twinkling deviously and her lips forming into a seductive smirk. “Let her use her tail.”  
“Her… tail?” King Piccolo repeated cautiously.  
“Mm-hm.” Zarba nodded. “Trust me – I’ve never had a dick, but I can guarantee that whatever she does to your worm, she’ll do a hundred times better to your fish.”  
“Oh my **God**!” Doria wailed, clasping her hands against her ears. “Zarba, shut **up**! Why do you have to be so vulgar! It’s disgusting!” She glared at Zarba. “I don’t want to hear about you and Frikiza! And I’m pretty sure King Piccolo doesn’t want to hear about what you used to do with his girlfriend!”  
“She’s not my girlfriend!” King Piccolo barked.  
“Fine, fuck buddy. Whatever.” Doria growled. “Just tell her you don’t want to hear it.”

King Piccolo looked at Zarba, and she winked back.  
“Trust me.” Zarba purred. King Piccolo didn’t know how to respond. His cheeks turned purple, and he stared at the floor as he considered the idea. Frikiza’s tail, with his…? Ugh. Even the thought of it made him feel uneasy. It would hurt, wouldn’t it? Even King Piccolo hurt Frikiza, and they did it the normal way. Then again, the tip of Frikiza’s tail was much smaller than him, and it was more flexible… … _Hm._

At that moment Frikiza re-entered the room with King Piccolo’s drink.  
“Okay, one melon soda –” She suddenly stopped when she sensed a terrible awkwardness in the room. What was going on? Doria was looking angry and sickened, King Piccolo… he just looked kind of embarrassed. Was he blushing? His cheeks were violet! And Zarba… Frikiza sighed when she saw a mischievous grin on Zarba’s face. Zarba. Frikiza might have known. What had she done now? “Zarba.” Frikiza hissed. “What have you said?”  
“Nothing!” Zarba gasped dramatically, as if she were offended. “Why do you always assume **I’ve** said something?”  
“Because you always do!” Frikiza snapped. She looked at King Piccolo. “What has she been saying?” Frikiza demanded.  
“Nothing.” King Piccolo answered quietly, not looking at her. He held out his arm. “Melon soda.”  
“Please.” Frikiza muttered angrily, and handed him the drink.  
“Thank you.” King Piccolo downed the drink in one gulp, then held his empty glass out, his face still violet. “Another.”  
“Oh – if you’re going,” Zarba grabbed her empty wine glass and held it up. “Can I get a refill?”  
“Yeah, me too.” Doria groaned, still sickened. 

XXXXX

“Oh, thank you, Incubus!” Zarba declared as she arrived safely at Frikiza’s door, escorted there by King Piccolo. It was a few drinks later and Zarba’s alcohol intake had suddenly caught up to her. She’d clung onto King Piccolo’s arm to steady herself and she made her way towards the door, closely followed by Frikiza and Doria.   
“Stop calling me that!” King Piccolo barked.  
“Sorry.” Zarba giggled. “Hm…” She tailed her fingertips across his arm, caressing the thick steel muscles that lay under his skin, and smirked up at him. “You know, you’re kind of hot when I’m drunk. Frikiza, would you mind if I borrowed him sometime?”  
“What!” Frikiza barked, and glared at Zarba. “What do you mean!”  
“Well you guys keep insisting that you’re not a couple.” Zarba shrugged. “So I guess you’d have no reason to get jealous, right?”  
“Zarba, shut up! You’re drunk!” Frikiza growled.  
“But she has a point…” King Piccolo mumbled, eyeing up Zarba’s hourglass frame. 

Zarba started laughing, while Frikiza simply glared daggers into King Piccolo’s back. The jerk…  
“Well, I guess we could always have a threesome Friki, if you don’t want to feel left out.” Zarba winked.  
“A threesome?” King Piccolo choked, his eyes widening. Oh, _yeah_! That was a great idea!  
“Mm-hm.” Zarba nodded. “What do you say?”  
“Zarba, _shut up_!” Frikiza wailed. “Why would you even suggest that!”  
“Well Zarbon’s in a three-way with Frieza and Cell.” Zarba reasoned. “Hey!” She looked at Frikiza and King Piccolo, and grinned. “Maybe you two could get married –”  
“Okay!” King Piccolo barked, suddenly changing his mood. He opened the door and pushed Zarba towards it. “Enough! **Go**!”  
“Hmph! Party pooper.” Zarba pouted.  
“Zarba… let’s go.” Doria groaned, taking hold of Zarba’s arm. She looked at Frikiza in embarrassment. “Sorry, Frikiza…”  
“It’s okay.” Frikiza sighed. “I was the one that gave her that wine – just make sure she gets home okay.”  
“Okay. Take care of yourself.” Doria nodded, and glanced at King Piccolo. “Uh… bye.”  
“Bye, Incubus!” Zarba crooned, and blew King Piccolo a kiss before she was abruptly dragged away by Doria, who shut the door behind them. 

Frikiza let out a sigh, her cheeks darkening slightly in embarrassment.  
“Sorry about her…” She mumbled.  
“It’s fine.” King Piccolo growled.   
“She means well, really.” Frikiza insisted. “She just… speaks her mind.”   
“Whatever.” King Piccolo grunted. He studied Frikiza, eyeing up her frame. Well, he had come here for something. He wasn’t sure if he was in the mood now, though…

Frikiza took hold of King Piccolo’s hand and smiled at him, blushing.  
“Thank you for the flowers.” She said. “It was sweet of you.”  
“Oh…” King Piccolo looked away. “I told you, it’s nothing.”  
“Well then, why did you give me them?” Frikiza asked.  
“To… cheer you up.” King Piccolo mumbled. Why did she think? It was because she’d been so miserable lately – so insufferable!   
“Well it worked.” 

King Piccolo turned his head back to Frikiza when he felt a warmth on his cheek, and his hand being squeezed. He looked down to see Frikiza smiling up at him, and he felt the tip of her tail travelling down his spine. “Do you… want to go to bed?” Frikiza asked.   
“Uh… yeah…” King Piccolo mumbled, suddenly aware of her tail against him. Her tail… He couldn’t help but wonder, had there been any truth to what Zarba had said? Would it really be… more fun? “Frikiza.” King Piccolo blushed slightly, and he lowered his eyes. “I was thinking. Could you… could you use your tail?”  
“My tail?” Frikiza blinked. She looked at him in confusion for a moment, then her lips parted when she realised what he meant. “Oh.” Frikiza uttered. “… Sure.” She smirked a little, and started to lead King Piccolo towards her bedroom, tickling the tip of her tail against his lips as she spoke, “Right this way, Inky.”  
“Don’t call me that.” King Piccolo growled, and frowned in annoyance when Frikiza started giggling. 

XXXXX

King Piccolo lay there in what felt like a trance. That had been… something else. Really, it was… so different. So intense. So… good. Was that was Frikiza felt like every time they did it? No… Frikiza’s tail was much narrower at the end, and had a lot more mobility, and precision… He could _never_ do to her what she had just done to him, not in a million years. Not without using his hands.  
“Piccolo?” Frikiza’s voice came from beside him, and King Piccolo smiled slightly when he felt her lips against his neck. “Was that okay?” She asked.  
“Oh yeah…” King Piccolo groaned, stretching in satisfaction. He could still feel the warmth of her mouth around his antennae; he could still feel the effects of her tail touching him… It was bliss!

Frikiza giggled, and lay against him, trailing her fingers lightly across his chest.  
“So… I’m going to guess that Zarba suggested that?” She said.  
“Oh… yeah.” King Piccolo mumbled. “So… that’s what you two used to do?” He asked, his face darkening as he thought about it.   
“Yeah. Amongst other things.” Frikiza answered, and blushed. “I was… more rough with her though. She was used to it.”  
“Uh-huh…” King Piccolo choked. Oh hell, what an image… Rough, was she? He could see it now; Frikiza pinning Zarba down, kissing her, biting her, spanking her… while Zarba moaned and writhed underneath Frikiza, her back arching and her lips parting… _Fuck_!

King Piccolo grabbed Frikiza’s hand and rolled on top of her, pinning her hand above her head. He had to have her. She was just so sexy. So many things she said drove him wild, even if she didn’t mean them to. She was so beautiful, so passionate… so rough! But… wait. If she made a point of saying she’d been rough with Zarba, did that mean she’d been gentle with him? Why! “You went easy on me?” King Piccolo growled.  
“Well… It’s new to you, right?” Frikiza replied. “I didn’t want to hurt you…”  
“Tch! You can’t hurt me.” King Piccolo snorted. He was somewhat insulted; did she really think he couldn’t handle her? Of course he could handle her! “Next time, don’t hold back.” He ordered.  
“Okay.” Frikiza smirked. “Whatever you say, Master.”  
“Oh, you little bitch…” King Piccolo purred, his arousal growing as that name sent a shiver down his spine. He wanted to penetrate her. Deeply. He wanted to make her scream; he wanted to hurt her! That was one bad thing about letting Frikiza use her tail, it didn’t exactly make him feel like the man of the relationship. But, all it meant was he’d fuck her twice as hard now. “Bend over.” King Piccolo ordered, grabbing Frikiza’s hips to flip her onto her front. “Now.”  
“Okay!” Frikiza giggled, pushing his hands away. “But first – I need to tell you something.”  
“What?” King Piccolo growled, suddenly frustrated. Why did she pick the **worst** time for everything?  
“It’s about tomorrow.” Frikiza began. “You’re going to Earth.”  
“I’m… what?” King Piccolo blinked. Frikiza nodded.  
“Mm-hm. I got it approved this morning.” She said. 

King Piccolo paused for a moment. Another trip to Earth…? … Fantastic! He and Frikiza could make full use of the honeymoon suite this time, without being bothered by King Piccolo’s minions or Frikiza’s friends. Of course, that would be after he gathered the rest of the dragonballs… Yes! The dragonballs! He was certain to get them this time, if only he could think of a way to distract Frikiza… She would be watching his every move, wouldn’t she? Dammit…   
“Are you going to lock the door again?” King Piccolo growled.  
“There won’t be a door.” Frikiza replied. “You aren’t staying overnight, it’s just for a day… and you’re going on your own.”  
“What?” King Piccolo frowned. “What do you mean?”  
“I mean, you’re going on your own.” Frikiza said. “Without a guardian.”

King Piccolo went silent again. So… what, he would be free to roam the Earth, without a babysitter? He would actually be let loose, free to go where he wanted and do what he wanted? There would be nobody there to stop him? Unbelievable… This was **_unbelievable_**! “Don’t get too excited!” Frikiza warned, noticing the look of joy that was rapidly spreading across King Piccolo’s face. “I’ll be watching you from King Yemma’s office, and if you even **start** misbehaving I’m coming to get you!”  
“Yes yes, of course…” King Piccolo mumbled, not taking her seriously. What was she going to do about it? By the time Frikiza got involved it would be too late. Unless Frikiza was going to stop him collecting the dragonballs? Oh, fuck… She was, wasn’t she? Dammit! “You might as well come with me.” King Piccolo muttered angrily. “If I can’t gather the dragonballs, you can at least entertain me.”  
“You can gather the dragonballs.” Frikiza said. “Just don’t wish for anything bad.”  
“What…?” King Piccolo uttered, staring at her in disbelief.  
“You heard me.” Frikiza replied. “I’m going to let you gather the dragonballs.” Her face suddenly turned serious, and she looked at him sternly. “Piccolo. I’m trusting you on this. You can gather them, I won’t stop you – but if you hurt anyone in the process, or if you even _think_ about wishing for something bad, I’ll come to Earth and I’ll kill you myself. Do you understand?”  
“Completely, Dear.” King Piccolo smirked. Oh, this was beautiful… She was such a fool. She really did believe he could be good, didn’t she? She really believed he wouldn’t wish for immortality, or to be the most powerful being in the universe, or for any number of other wicked things. That was why she was doing this. It had to be – it all made sense now. That was the reason Frikiza was letting King Piccolo go to Earth alone. It was a test. It was a test to see if all that hard work Frikiza had put into rehabilitating King Piccolo had paid off. This was Frikiza’s chance to prove to herself that the little slither of imaginary good she so painfully believed to be in King Piccolo really did exist. This was her dying wish, wasn’t it? To prove to everyone – herself included – that the evil Demon King Piccolo really could turn good. Well… That was a shame, because her dying wish would never be granted. Ha. Sorry, Frikiza. She would use the last week of her life to watch King Piccolo return to life and become immortal… and conquer the Earth.  
“Don’t look at me like that!” Frikiza scolded, noticing the victorious smirk on King Piccolo’s lips. “You don’t think I can stop you?”  
“Frikiza, I know you can.” King Piccolo purred, burying his face in her neck to distract her. Ha. Yeah, right. She was such a fool. How was she going to stop him? She wouldn’t know he’d made a bad wish until it was too late. Her empty threats didn’t scare him, because he knew they were empty. She couldn’t stop him. Frikiza was fast, but King Piccolo knew she couldn’t get from King Yemma’s office to Earth before he could finish his wish – and if she thought he didn’t know that, she was a fool. Oh, but how wonderful it was that she was a fool… A beautiful, sexy little fool.

King Piccolo locked his lips onto Frikiza’s and kissed her firmly and passionately. He slid his hand up her thigh and caressed her roughly, then tightened his grip on her when she tried to move onto her front. “No.” King Piccolo grunted. “I’ve changed my mind. Let me see your face.” He watched Frikiza smile at him, seemingly touched. Why? He just wanted to look at that foolish little face of hers and those trusting little eyes, because they were the reason he was going to become the ruler of Earth tomorrow. Because she was so blissfully sweet and naïve, he would get everything he’d ever wanted since the day that runt Goku had sent him down here to rot. Ah, Goku… That little punk would die tomorrow – by King Piccolo’s own hand. Finally, King Piccolo would have the revenge he deserved, the revenge he’d longed for for so many years! And it was all thanks to Frikiza, and her blissful naivety… oh, yes! King Piccolo kissed Frikiza again, and in the midst of his excitement and lust he failed to notice a small tingling in his heart when she kissed him back, and a feeling of warmth that only occurred when she was nearby.


	20. Little Red Riding Hood

“Boys!” King Piccolo boomed excitedly as he raced back into his cave after making full use of Frikiza’s body. “Boys! Quickly, gather round!” He took a seat in his throne and waited for his mutant sons to kneel in front of him. Piano stared up at his master, and grinned.  
“King Piccolo, you seem in rather a good mood, Sire.” He remarked. “Did the flowers work?”  
“Hm? Oh – yes.” King Piccolo answered, smirking in satisfaction. “Good idea, Piano.”  
“Uh – King Piccolo, it was my idea.” Tambourine frowned.  
“Oh.” King Piccolo uttered. “Well, whatever.” He waved his hand dismissively, and Tambourine rolled his eyes.  
_“You’re welcome.”_ He thought bitterly.  
“So things went well with Frikiza?” Cymbal beamed.  
“Better than well, my child.” King Piccolo boastfully replied. “She is sending me back to Earth tomorrow.”  
“Oh, that’s wonderful, Sire!” Piano exclaimed. “It’ll do you two good to have a decent vacation.”  
“Yeah – and now you can use the honeymoon suite like a real couple.” Drum grinned, then suddenly caught himself. “Uh… not that you are a couple…”  
“Even if we were, we wouldn’t be sharing a hotel room, Drum.” King Piccolo grunted. “She isn’t coming with me.”  
“Huh?” The mutants all looked at him in confusion.  
“Well then… who is?” Piano asked.  
“Nobody.” King Piccolo answered, and a wide grin swept across his face. “I’m going on my own.”

The mutants all fell silent, and continued to look at their master in confusion.  
“I don’t get it.” Cymbal blinked.  
“Haha. Don’t worry, I was surprised myself to begin with.” King Piccolo smirked. “But that’s the problem with our little Frikiza – all that power and potential, and she wastes it on putting her trust in people like **me**.” He narrowed his eyes at the mutants, his pupils glowing in delight. “She is going to send me to Earth, and she is going to let me gather the dragonballs… because she doesn’t think that I will use them for evil.”  
“Are… are you going to?” Tambourine asked.  
“Of course I am, you imbecile!” King Piccolo barked. “I’m going to use them to become immortal, and the most powerful being in the universe, **and** the ruler of Earth! And what’s more – I’m going to use my new powers to put an end to Goku and his entire miserable family – and even Junior, if he tries to stand in my way.”  
“Tch. He will.” Drum muttered angrily.  
“Yeah, he probably will, Sire.” Cymbal nodded.  
“Well then, he’s a fool.” King Piccolo shrugged. “Still, it’s not my problem. I gave the boy the chance to join me.”

Piano let out the breath that had been caught in his throat as he realised what this all meant. It was crazy. If Frikiza really was going to let King Piccolo use the dragonballs, then this time tomorrow they would all be… wait. King Piccolo _was_ going to revive his children as well, wasn’t he?  
“Uh – King Piccolo.” Piano began. “So, just to clarify – what exactly will you be wishing for?”  
“Hm…” King Piccolo mused, tapping his claws against the arm of his throne as he considered his wishes. “You only get three, don’t you…?”  
“Well… three would be enough for most people, Sire.” Piano said.  
“Yes, but I need to use one to permanently revive myself first…” King Piccolo mumbled. “So that will be my first wish. My second, to become the most powerful being in the universe, and my third…” He looked at his mutant sons, and smirked deviously. “Now. Do I use it to become immortal, or do I use it to revive you?”  
“Well… King Piccolo, if you’re the most powerful being in the universe, and you’re already young, you won’t need immortality right away.” Cymbal reasoned.  
“Yeah.” Tambourine nodded. “You could always wish for immortality next year.”  
“I could, couldn’t I?” King Piccolo smirked. Haha. Look at them. Desperately trying to convince him not to leave them behind. Still, King Piccolo couldn’t blame them. It was awful down here, and they would be lost without their leader. It wouldn’t be fair to have all the fun without them, would it? Hm… “Fine.” King Piccolo smirked, almost laughing at his children. “I’m feeling generous. Perhaps I will use my third wish to revive you.”  
“Oh, King Piccolo!” The mutants all wailed, throwing themselves at his feet. “Thank you thank you thank you!”  
“Don’t mention it.” King Piccolo sniggered. “After all, I will need my servants, won’t I?”  
“Uh-huh.” The mutants nodded.  
“Oh – wait!” Piano gasped. He looked at King Piccolo. “What about Frikiza?”  
“What about her?” King Piccolo shrugged.  
“Sire – instead of using your third wish to revive us, couldn’t you use it to help her?” Piano looked at his siblings. “We don’t mind, do we? It would mean we’d have to wait a year before we could be revived, but it would save Frikiza.”  
“Save Frikiza…?” Drum mumbled.

The mutants looked at each other, then grinned at Piano.  
“Sure!” They exclaimed.  
“King Piccolo – please use your wish to help Frikiza, Sire.” Cymbal begged.  
“Yeah – we can wait a year. Please, save her!” Tambourine cried.  
“Tch.” King Piccolo grunted. Pathetic. They were willing to sacrifice a year of their lives for _Frikiza_? She really had ruined them, hadn’t she? It made him sick – and they were idiots! Frikiza’s family were in a different universe, how the hell was he supposed to use the dragonballs to help her! Fools. “Boys, listen to me. I wouldn’t use my last wish to save Frikiza even if I could.” King Piccolo growled. “But fortunately, I can’t.”  
“You can’t?” The mutants gasped.  
“Well what am I supposed to do, wish away her family?” King Piccolo barked. “They’re in another universe, there’s nothing _my_ dragonballs could do to them.”

King Piccolo almost vomited at the looks of sheer despair that came across the mutants’ faces. What the hell was wrong with them? They were supposed to be happy! This was what they’d wanted since the day they arrived in this miserable place, were they really going to push that aside for **Frikiza**? “What the hell is wrong with you!” King Piccolo roared. “Let her die, it’s her own fault! She chose to betray her family!”  
“But… we don’t want her to die.” Tambourine whimpered.  
“Sire… Don’t you want to save her?” Piano reasoned. “I mean – she does have her uses for you, doesn’t she?”  
“Well… yes.” King Piccolo admitted, then smirked. “But don’t worry. When I’m king of Earth I’ll have millions of girls to choose from, all different shapes and sizes.” He sniggered. “And if you boys behave, maybe I’ll even give some to you.”  
“No thanks… I like Doria.” Drum mumbled glumly.  
“Yeah… King Piccolo, I don’t think any of those Earth girls could be as great at Zarba.” Tambourine smiled.  
“Tch. You’re pathetic.” King Piccolo spat. “You can’t be so picky – a woman is a woman, they’re only good for one thing and they can **all** provide it, so you should stop focusing on just one.” He narrowed his eyes at Tambourine and smirked nastily. “Especially you, Tambourine. If Zarba is the only girl you’re interested in, you’ll be spending your life alone.” Tambourine lowered his eyes and remained silent, dumfounded by the cold, bitter truth. King Piccolo was right, after all. Zarba wasn’t the slightest bit interested in him… It was so depressing.

Meanwhile Cymbal had remained quiet, trying to think of a way the dragonballs could save Frikiza.  
“I know!” He exclaimed, his face suddenly lighting up. “King Piccolo – maybe your dragonballs can’t affect Frikiza’s universe – but what if her family came to us?” He grinned. “When you’re the most powerful being in the universe, you call kill them can’t you?”  
“Yes, yes!” Piano exclaimed excitedly. “King Piccolo, it’s perfect! If we get Frikiza to lure her family into this universe, would you take care of them for her?”  
“Hm…” King Piccolo grunted. Was that even possible? Didn’t they have to be a counsellor to come over here? Then again, Zarba and Doria visited… Fine. If they could find a way to bring Frikiza’s family into this universe. “Sure.” King Piccolo shrugged. After all, it would give him the opportunity to warm up before he went after Goku, and King Kold and Coola were the perfect targets for King Piccolo to test his new powers on. Actually, this might even be fun. King Piccolo was looking forward to it!  
“ _ **Yahoo**_!” The mutants all cheered, leaping into the air. “Thank you, King Piccolo!” They fell at his feet and worshipped him desperately. “Thank you thank you thank you!”  
“Don’t mention it…” King Piccolo mumbled, staring them in disbelief. Unbelievable… They’d actually been less excited when he’d told them he was going to revive them! What was so special about Frikiza anyway? “Go on then.” King Piccolo ordered. “Go and tell her the plan.”  
“Yes Sire!” The mutants exclaimed, and bolted out of the cave faster than King Piccolo had ever seen them move. King Piccolo let out a sigh, and tapped his foot in annoyance. Idiots… It amazed him how **his** children could turn out so simple-minded. Dying had obviously stripped them of a few brain cells; King Piccolo could only hope that bringing them back to life would restore them. Otherwise… he would have to get rid of these idiots and make some more. Not that it would be difficult to do that, not with his new power! He could make an entire army of children, just like in the old days. Haha, yes. The good old days, when he was ruler of the world, with an endless army of evil minions to bring terror upon the human race. He would finally be able to have that again… Finally, he would have the power and the world he deserved! This was perfect… **Perfect**! King Piccolo leapt from his throne in celebration, and in his excitement he accidentally fired a ki ball through the roof of his cave.

XXXXX

Meanwhile Frikiza was in a light sleep in her capsule house, tired from her multiple sessions with King Piccolo. She was halfway through a dream when an almighty knocking came from the front door. Frikiza frowned and turned over in bed, trying to ignore it. _**Knock knock knock**_! It was like a thunderstorm. Dammit! If that was King Piccolo… “Piccolo!” Frikiza groaned, placing a pillow over her ears. “No! I’m tired!” The knocking continued, and Frikiza became more annoyed. “No! Go and fuck Zarba, I’m sleeping!” Still the knocking went on, until Frikiza had finally had enough. “ **Dammit**!” She screamed, powering up. Frikiza leapt out of bed and stormed towards her front door, ready to punch that stupid ogre’s teeth out. “For God’s sake Piccolo, will you fuck – … oh.” She blinked in confusion at the sight of King Piccolo’s mutant sons on front of her. “… Hi.” Frikiza uttered. “Boys – what are you doing here?”  
“We’re here to save you!” Drum exclaimed.  
“Save me?” Frikiza repeated. “I don’t understand?”  
“My Dear, let me explain.” Piano smiled. “Tomorrow when King Piccolo goes to Earth, he’s going to gather the dragonballs –”  
“But he’s not going to wish for anything bad!” Tambourine cried.  
“No no, heaven forbid.” Piano nodded. “I think you’ve really gotten through to him, Frikiza. He’s uh… he’s going to use his wishes to uh…”  
“Open an orphanage!” Cymbal grinned.  
“Yes.” Piano nodded. “Yes, for little lost children.”  
“Like Junior?” Frikiza smiled.  
“Yes.” Piano nodded. “Yes… just like him.”  
“Oh!” Drum gasped, and stared at Piano. “Is that why he’s going to open the orphanage? Because of Junior?”  
“Well… yes, possibly.” Piano replied, and glared at Drum. _“You idiot! He’s not really opening an orphanage, I’m just telling Frikiza that so she doesn’t get mad at him for taking over the world!”_ He silently scolded. _“Yeah, I know!”_ Drum replied. _“I’m playing along!”_ _“Oh.”_ Piano uttered. _“Sorry.”_

Frikiza watched the mutants with a small smirk on her face. Really, did they think she was born yesterday? King Piccolo wasn’t going to open an orphanage! Even she didn’t believe he had **that** much good in him.  
“Guys.” Frikiza said. “Are you lying?”  
“Aiii!” The mutants all cried out.  
“Piano, she knows!” Tambourine gasped, and looked at Frikiza regretfully. “We’re sorry, Frikiza – he isn’t going to open an orphanage, but… we didn’t want you to get mad over his real wishes.”  
“Tambourine!” Piano hissed, glaring at his brother. Tambourine yelped, and clasped his hands over his mouth. Crap…  
“So… are his real wishes going to be bad?” Frikiza asked, folding her arms.  
“Well, uh… that depends.” Piano answered. “They won’t be bad for him, or us.” He laughed feebly, but his laughter was short-lived when he noticed the stern look on Frikiza’s face. “… Sorry.” Piano mumbled. “But – that’s what we wanted to talk to you about. One of his wishes will be good for you as well, Frikiza.”  
“Good for me?” Frikiza blinked. “How?”  
“May we come in?” Piano asked.  
“… Sure.” Frikiza stepped aside, and allowed the mutants into her home.

She made them all a melon soda, and stared in wonder as the mutants downed their sodas as if they hadn’t had a drink in years.  
“Uh… does Piccolo let you guys drink?” Frikiza questioned.  
“Oh yes.” Piano nodded. “He lets us drink from Blood Pond – or he gives us any water he finds in his cave, after it’s gone stale.”  
“Why doesn’t he give you fresh water?” Frikiza asked.  
“Fresh water’s rare, and he keeps it for himself.” Cymbal said. “Um… can I have another?”  
“Yeah.” Frikiza sighed, and went to get the mutants a refill. Honestly, the way King Piccolo treated those boys was awful – and apparently he was nicer to them now than he had been since the day he’d created them! Frikiza couldn’t bear to imagine how he’d treated the mutants before she came along.

Frikiza gave the mutants fresh beverages, and sat down. “So?” She began. “What is he going to wish for?”  
“Oh… you know. The usuals.” Tambourine answered awkwardly.  
“World domination?” Frikiza sighed.  
“… Something like that.” Tambourine replied, looking away. Frikiza groaned. Really…? He was really going to try that? Hadn’t he changed at _all_?  
“And ultimate power.” Piano said. “Frikiza – that’s how we’re going to save you!”  
“I don’t follow.” Frikiza frowned.  
“Listen – I know it may be risky, but could you possibly lure your family into this universe?” Piano asked. “To Earth?”  
“Because once King Piccolo makes his wish, he’ll be able to kill them for you!” Drum grinned. “And then you can stay!”  
“What?” Frikiza gasped, her eyes widening. “He said he’d kill my _family_?”  
“Well, it was our idea.” Tambourine said. “But yeah – if you bring them to Earth, King Piccolo will take care of them, and then you’ll be saved! Isn’t it great?”  
“Would he… really do that for me…?” Frikiza mumbled.  
“Oh, well it’d be no trouble.” Piano assured. “But yes.” He smiled. “Yes, he would, Frikiza.”

Frikiza went quiet all of a sudden. Was she hearing them right? King Piccolo had agreed to save her? Wow. She felt… touched? That was bad, wasn’t it? Frikiza knew she shouldn’t feel happy about this. She shouldn’t encourage anyone to kill, even if it was her family! And she knew King Piccolo wouldn’t be doing it for _her_ , he would just welcome the opportunity to kill two strong opponents. Still… She felt – charmed. Frikiza could feel a blush forming on her face and she looked away, trying to calm herself. Oh, Piccolo…  
“So?” Tambourine beamed, snapping Frikiza from her daydream. “Can you bring them to Earth?”  
“… I’m sorry.” Frikiza sighed. She looked at the mutants. “It’s a great idea, but it’s impossible.”  
“What!” The mutants cried.  
“Listen – you guys don’t know how strong my family are!” Frikiza protested. “They’ll kill me before I even get chance to bring them to Earth!”  
“Well then – take King Piccolo to your universe!” Piano insisted. “He won’t let anything bad happen to you.” His face softened slightly, and he looked at Frikiza sympathetically. “Frikiza… I know you don’t want him to kill your family, but try to understand – as long as they’re alive _they’ll_ try to kill you.”  
“Yeah – Frikiza, you don’t have a choice.” Cymbal nodded.  
“Yeah – and you shouldn’t feel bad anyway, because anyone that tries to kill their own sister or daughter deserves to die!” Drum growled.  
“Uh…” Cymbal looked at him. “Drum, haven’t you sworn to kill Junior before now?”  
“I said sister, not brother!” Drum barked.  
“Okay…” Cymbal mumbled, looking away. 

Frikiza giggled softly at the mutants’ bickering, and gazed at them. They were so sweet… They really wanted to save her, didn’t they? It was heart-breaking.  
“Guys…” Frikiza uttered. “Listen, I… I can’t thank you enough for trying, but really… I don’t think you can help.”  
“Huh?” The mutants gasped.  
“Oh, nonsense!” Piano growled. “Frikiza, if King Piccolo uses the dragonballs to make himself more powerful, he **will** take care of your family!” He looked at her, and his face softened. “… You’re worried about what else he’ll do, aren’t you?” Piano said, smiling sympathetically at her.  
“Kind of…” Frikiza mumbled. “If he really did use the dragonballs to become that powerful, it would be a disaster.” She looked at them. “Listen, Boys… I have something to tell you, and it’s up to you whether or not you tell King Piccolo. I… kind of hope you don’t.”  
“Hm?” The mutants all looked at her questionably.  
“What is it…?” Piano asked. Frikiza lowered her eyes, and sighed.

XXXXX

Meanwhile in Frikiza’s cave, Dodoria was counting the names on Frieza and Cell’s guest list.  
“Uh… Lord Frieza, I don’t think we’re going to be able to cater for all these people…” He said.  
“Oh Dodoria don’t be ridiculous, it’s just a few close friends.” Frieza carelessly replied.  
“Lord Frieza, absolutely no part of that sentence is true!” Dodoria argued. “There are over a thousand names here, and a lot of them are saiyans!”  
“Saiyans?” Frieza repeated, and groaned. “How many did you invite, Dodoria? I said just a few elites, to piss off my father!”  
“Yeah I know, but – when I invited one, they all wanted to go.” Dodoria replied. “They’re all into forgiveness and stuff.”  
“Oh, for God’s sake.” Frieza huffed, his face twisting in repulsion. “That girl and her stupid classes are turning this place into a laughing stock – nobody knows she’s me, do they?”  
“No, Lord Frieza.” Dodoria answered robotically.  
“Um…” Zarbon uttered, looking at Dodoria. “Is Bardock coming?”  
“Oh – yeah. His wife’s making him, he’s really pissed about it.” Dodoria answered. “If you ask me, I think he’s planning on making a scene.”  
_“That’s **precisely** what he’ll be doing.”_ Zarbon thought to himself with a cruel smirk.  
“Oh whatever, let him.” Frieza growled. “If I killed him once I can kill him again.”  
“Who the hell is Bardock?” Cell asked.  
“Goku’s father.” Frieza, Zarbon and Dodoria all answered.  
“Oh, what? We’re inviting Goku’s family?” Cell groaned. “Does that mean we’re inviting Vegeta’s parents too?”  
“Well, I certainly hope so!” Frieza snapped. “I went to their flea-ridden wedding and I gave them a planet as a wedding gift, so they’d better show up with something good!”  
“Yeah, but… Lord Frieza, in their defence when you went to their wedding you’d just formed an alliance with King Vegeta, and you were all on good terms.” Dodoria said. “Now you’re the guy that destroyed their planet and enslaved their son.”  
“… Hmph.” Frieza pouted stubbornly, and folded his arms. “I still want a good gift.”  
“Oh, I remember their wedding…” Zarbon mumbled, thinking back. “Didn’t Queen Turnipa get a hernia not long after?”  
“No.” Frieza said, sniggering. “That turned out to be Prince Vegeta.”

Zarbon, Dodoria and Cell all burst out laughing.  
“Oh my God! That’s hilarious!” Cell exclaimed.  
“No wonder he always had such a bad attitude to him.” Zarbon sniped. “Poor thing.”  
“Yeah…” Dodoria sniggered. “Oh – speaking of family… Lord Frieza, do you mind if I have a spy-screen?”  
“Fine, but what’s that got to do with family?” Frieza frowned.  
“Well… I want to view mine.” Dodoria smiled. “My kid sister’s got a new boyfriend, and she’s supposed to be bringing him home for dinner tonight.”  
“Hm?” Frieza looked at him. “How do you know that?”  
“Well… I watch them, Lord Frieza.” Dodoria answered. “That’s what I use the spy-screens for – you guys never wondered?”  
“Well you always take them into your room, so we just thought you were watching dirty movies.” Cell shrugged.  
“Well, yeah, uh… sometimes I do that.” Dodoria mumbled, his face darkening in embarrassment. “But most of the time I watch my family. When it was a secret I used to watch them in my room, but…” He looked at Frieza. “Now you know, right? So can I have one?”  
“Yes, alright.” Frieza agreed. “But I want to see them.”  
“What!” Dodoria cried. “No way! What if you change your mind about letting them live? I’m not going to show you what they look like!”  
“Believe me, Dodoria. If I ever change my mind, I won’t just kill your family, I’ll kill **every** member of your race that’s unfortunate enough to come into my sight, so it really won’t matter whether or not I know what your family looks like.” Frieza growled.  
“… Fine.” Dodoria mumbled reluctantly. “But… don’t say anything nasty.”  
“Oh, we wouldn’t dream of it.” Cell smirked. Dodoria shot him an angry glare, and went to get himself a spy-screen.

When he returned he took a seat on the floor on front of Frieza and Cell who were occupying the sofa, and started to tune into his family. Cell glanced over at Zarbon, and smirked at the sight of the man in the corner of the room, sulking.  
“Come on. Aren’t you going to join us?” He asked.  
“No, thank you.” Zarbon sneered. “There are too many people over there for my liking.”  
“If you want, Frieza can leave?” Cell offered tauntingly.  
“What!” Frieza barked.  
“It’s not Lord Frieza that’s the problem.” Zarbon hissed.  
“Fine.” Cell shrugged. “I was just thinking… there isn’t enough beauty over here.”  
“… Shut up.” Zarbon growled, turning away. “You don’t mean that.”  
“Of course I do, Beautiful.” Cell replied. “I’m not blind – you _are_ beautiful.”  
“… Well…” Zarbon uttered, softening slightly as his vanity got the better of him. “… Yes, I am, aren’t I?” He smirked. “Fine. I will grace you with my presence.” He made his way over to the sofa and squeezed in beside Cell, flicking his hair boastfully as he sat down.  
“There’s a good girl.” Cell smirked, and put his arm around Zarbon. He looked down at Zarbon, and grinned wickedly. “You’re still not as beautiful as me, though.”  
“Oh, you little **bastard** –”  
“Shut up, Zarbon!” Frieza barked. Zarbon stared at Frieza with wide eyes.  
“He started it!” He cried.  
“Good. Shut up.” Frieza growled, causing Zarbon to turn away in anger.  
“I hate you!” He screamed.  
“Quiet Princess, the movie’s starting.” Cell teased, watching the spy-screen. Zarbon shot Cell a nasty glare, then reluctantly moved his eyes to the spy-screen. Anything had to be better than looking at _Cell_. … Ugh. Then again…  
“Dodoria, how can you watch these people?” Zarbon gagged.  
“You want a broken nose?” Dodoria snarled.  
“Why, are they offering theirs?” Zarbon sniped.  
“Shut up.” Dodoria spat.

Zarbon smirked in satisfaction, and continued watching Dodoria’s family.  
“Hm…” He uttered, studying the figure that was on screen. “Wow. Dodoria… you look exactly like your father.”  
“My father?” Dodoria blinked.  
“Hm. Actually yes, you do.” Frieza nodded. “You could be twins.”  
“… That isn’t my dad.” Dodoria said flatly. “That’s my mom.”

He became enraged when Frieza, Zarbon and Cell all burst out laughing.  
“Oh my God! Dodoria, you aren’t serious!” Cell exclaimed.  
“That’s your mother? Was your father blind?” Zarbon laughed.  
“Hey, shut the hell up!” Dodoria yelled, leaping to his feet. “I’m being serious! **Stop** laughing at my mom! She’s a beautiful woman!”  
“Of – of course.” Frieza sniggered. He took a moment to calm himself, then smirked at Dodoria. “Dodoria, just because you look alike it doesn’t mean she isn’t beautiful.” He reasoned, attempting to calm the man. “After all, perhaps you’re the one who looks like a woman. It doesn’t mean your mother is ugly.”  
“No, that’s right.” Cell nodded.  
“Mm-hm.” Zarbon agreed. Dodoria calmed a little, and snorted.  
“Tch. Yeah, well. Anyway, let’s forget –”  
“But in this case, that’s _exactly_ what it means!” Cell exclaimed, and he, Frieza and Zarbon erupted into laughter again.  
“Bastards…” Dodoria muttered angrily, struggling to resist the urge to make a very serious enemy of the unbelievably powerful Cell and Lord Frieza.

XXXXX

Back in King Piccolo’s cave, the demon king tapped his claws against his throne impatiently, and watched as his mutant children returned far later than he’d expected.  
“What took you so long?” King Piccolo demanded. He frowned slightly when he noticed the looks of despair on his minions’ faces, and snorted. “What’s wrong? She won’t let me kill them? Tch.” He huffed. “Typical. How else does she plan to survive?”  
“King Piccolo… that’s not it, Sire.” Piano replied glumly. “We managed to convince her to let you kill them, but… it’s impossible.”  
“Ha!” King Piccolo laughed. “Piano, don’t be a fool! I’ll be the most powerful being in the universe! Her family will be nothing more than mere flies compared to me!”  
“Yeah… we know.” Tambourine said. He looked up at his master, and his eyes started to glisten. “But… Frikiza can’t bring them into this universe.”  
“And you can’t go over there!” Cymbal cried. “So – it doesn’t matter how powerful you are, you still can’t save her!”  
“What? What are you talking about?” King Piccolo growled. “Zarba and Doria came over here just fine.”  
“They’re a special exception, Sire.” Piano said. “Frikiza said that King Yemma won’t allow her family to come into this universe because of how evil they are, and the King – I mean, Queen Yemma in her universe won’t allow you to go over there.”  
“Yeah.” Drum sniffed. “Because they… they’ve already got an evil demon queen causing enough problems, and they don’t want you to deal with as well!”  
“Hm.” King Piccolo smirked arrogantly. “Well, I can see where they’re coming from.”  
“King Piccolo!” Piano cried. “This isn’t a joke! Frikiza really is going to die! Please – don’t you care at all?”  
“No!” King Piccolo barked. “You know that! And besides, what are you getting so worked up over? She isn’t going home until next week.”  
“Yes, but _we’re_ returning to life tomorrow.” Piano replied. “And she… she has classes to run – she can’t come with us Sire, not without quitting her job.” He lowered his eyes. “And if she quits, then… she’ll have to go home right away…”  
“King Piccolo…” Tambourine sobbed, staring sadly at his master. “Today is the last day we’ll ever see Frikiza.”

King Piccolo paused for a moment. Oh… He hadn’t thought of that. This really was his last day with Frikiza, wasn’t it? What a terrible shame… … _No_! No, it wasn’t a shame! Not at all! Why would it be? He didn’t even like her, and he certainly did **not** care about her!  
“So what!” King Piccolo snapped at his minions. “Tomorrow we’ll all have new lives – literally! Goku will be dead, Junior will be working for **us** , and I will be the king of Earth and we’ll all live happily ever after – **without** Frikiza!” He rose to his feet and glared at the mutants, enraged that they could put him in such a foul mood. How dare they. How **dare** they! This was the happiest day of his afterlife! This was the greatest thing that had happened to King Piccolo since the day he’d died, and these pathetic imbeciles were ruining it! He had half a mind not to wish them back at all! “I’m going to take a nap.” King Piccolo seethed. “And when I awake, I expect you worthless insects to be _happy for me_!” He stormed out of the room, so enraged that his aura cracked the walls as he passed. 

After King Piccolo was out of earshot, Cymbal looked at his brothers.  
“Guys… I know we promised Frikiza we’d do this for her, but… I feel bad about lying to King Piccolo.” He said, wiping the tears from his eyes.  
“But… but it’s her dying wish.” Drum whimpered. “We have to.”  
“Yes… Yes, we do.” Piano nodded. He looked at Cymbal. “I know it’s hard. I don’t like lying to him either, but… Frikiza really wants to see his wishes, and he wouldn’t go to Earth if he knew the truth.”  
“He isn’t going to wish for good stuff.” Tambourine said. “He’s just going to wish to be alive again, and be the most powerful being in the universe – and he won’t use those powers for good!”  
“Yes, I know…” Piano mumbled. “And I think deep down Frikiza knows that too, but… You heard what she said. She just has to see it for herself.” He looked at his brothers. “And after everything she’s done for us, the least we could do is let her have this.”  
“Yeah…” Cymbal sighed. “I guess so.” He looked at Piano. “But… King Piccolo can’t ever find out we lied to him. If he does, he’ll kill us.”  
“You think I don’t know that?” Piano growled. “Listen.” He glared at his brothers sternly. “ _Nobody_ is to tell King Piccolo, under any circumstances. Understood?”  
“Uh-huh.” The mutants all nodded in unison. 

XXXXX 

King Piccolo turned over in bed for the fiftieth time. Dammit… He couldn’t sleep. He kept thinking about Frikiza? **Why**? Who the hell cared if she died? There were plenty more fish in the sea, and King Piccolo was certain a lot of them were better looking than her! Maybe his next sex slave could have bigger breasts; that was a definite possibility. Maybe she could be as voluptuous as Zarba… Maybe she could be Zarba. Were Frikiza’s family planning on killing Zarba and Doria as well? Then again, they did seem like they would die fighting for Frikiza… Tch. Women. Pathetic. 

Still… if King Piccolo could get a girl that looked like Zarba, that would be wonderful. She would have bigger breasts than Frikiza, and wider hips – although Frikiza’s hips were rather wide compared to her waist. If King Piccolo’s next girl had wider hips she would probably have a wider waist… That would be okay, wouldn’t it? … Hm. He did rather like Frikiza’s frame… But his next girl could have softer skin! … It wouldn’t be that much softer, though. It couldn’t be; Frikiza’s skin was incredibly soft. … Different coloured eyes? Red eyes were unusual. They were the colour of human blood though… King Piccolo could never get over that. It was his favourite colour. They were sexy. Okay, so he wouldn’t find a girl with a better body, or better skin, or better eyes… Lips? Black lips were odd, after all… but there was something about them. Maybe they reminded King Piccolo of darkness. They certainly felt good, and they tasted good… Okay. So no other woman could beat Frikiza’s body, skin, eyes or lips… but they could have hair at least! Ha! Take **that** , Frikiza! That was something she would never have! King Piccolo’s next sex slave would have long, beautiful hair! Beautiful hair, and big breasts, and wide hips, and a small waist, and soft skin, and red eyes – and her hair would be wavy, and it would bounce of her breasts when she wore it loose. She would be… blonde! No – a redhead, to go with her eyes. No… Black! Her hair would be black, blacker than Frikiza’s lips. She would be stunning. Absolutely stunning. She would be a woman fit for the King of Earth, the Demon King Piccolo! She would be sexy, and obedient, and far better company than that brattish lizard Fri –  
“Piccolo?” Frikiza… Tch. Perfect timing, as always. Dammit.  
“Shut up, Frikiza.” King Piccolo grunted from the depths of his pillow. “Tomorrow I will have a woman much sexier than you.”  
“Is that so?” Frikiza’s voice came from behind him.  
“Yes.” King Piccolo growled.  
“Well… good. I’m glad.” Frikiza replied. “Because to be honest, whenever I’m around you, I get this fear…”  
“What?” King Piccolo frowned. What the hell was she talking about? He sat up and turned to look at her. “Frikiza –” King Piccolo stopped mid-sentence as his throat went dry, and his eyes widened. Holy _hell_ …

Frikiza was leaning against the doorway in her final form, with one hand on the wall and another on her hip. She was wearing a lacy black corset, and a red hooded cloak… Oh, she wasn’t…  
“I get this fear…” Frikiza uttered quietly, her lips slightly parted to make herself look vulnerable and innocent. “… that there’s a big bad wolf around.” Ohhhh **fuck** she was. She was doing this. She was – she was being Little Red Riding Hood!  
“F…” King Piccolo choked. “Frikiza…”  
“Piccolo…” Frikiza whimpered, making her way over to him. She climbed onto his bed and crawled over to him, stopping on all fours to stare up at the demon king with wide, helpless eyes. “You’ll protect me, won’t you?” She pleaded. “You’ll keep the big bad wolf away from me?”  
“Um…” King Piccolo swallowed. Fuck, that was sexy. That was… too sexy.

King Piccolo licked his dry lips as he eyed up Frikiza, his lust growing greater by the second. He placed a firm hand on her butt and looked at her. “I think he might already be here.” He said, and uttered a low, beastly growl. Frieza giggled softly, and bit her lip.  
“Oh, King Piccolo…” She moaned, rocking her hips against his hand. “What big claws you have…”  
“Mmm….” King Piccolo groaned, closing his eyes. This was a dream, wasn’t it? Of course it was. Fine. Fuck Earth, he **never** wanted to wake up from this! King Piccolo tightened his grip on Frikiza and opened his eyes. “All the better to hurt you with, my dear!” And leapt on her. 

They had the best sex they’d ever had. Something about that outfit drove King Piccolo crazy! She just pulled it off so well, like she really was lost and vulnerable… ohhh she was so sexy. King Piccolo lay on top of Frikiza after their vigorous lovemaking, panting heavily as if he really were a wolf. He buried his face in Frikiza’s neck and let out a satisfied moan as Frikiza started to lightly stroke his back.  
“What did you think of my costume?” Frikiza giggled.  
“Amazing.” King Piccolo’s muffled voice came from her neck, sending a vibration against her skin as he spoke. “What…” He panted. “What gave you the idea?”  
“I don’t know…” Frikiza shrugged. “I guess I just know you.”  
“Mm.” King Piccolo grunted. She did, didn’t she? She knew almost everything about him. She knew why he was born, she knew how he was born, she knew where he came from, she knew what his life had been like, she knew his children… She knew how to please him. She knew how to entertain him, she knew his favourite food and drink, she knew how to lighten his mood – and she certainly knew how to anger him. … She knew everything, didn’t she? She knew him inside out. … How had he let her get so close to him? She couldn’t be that close – it was too much. It was unacceptable! … Still. At least she would be dead soon. After tomorrow he would never have to see her again, and good riddance. 

King Piccolo raised his head to look at Frikiza, and he suddenly felt strange. Sort of… uncomfortable, like his chest was sinking. What the hell? He felt… was it… sad? He was sad. But why? Because Frikiza was going to die? Well… that didn’t matter, did it? Why would it?  
“What’s wrong?” Frikiza asked, noticing the look on King Piccolo’s face. “Are you okay?”  
“… No.” King Piccolo answered, almost reluctantly. He couldn’t believe he was admitting this. “I… I don’t want you to die.”  
“Why not?” Frikiza questioned. It was a good question. Why not? Why did it matter to him? She was nothing. Not to him, and not to the universe. … But he liked her. He did, didn’t he? She just… made things better. He wasn’t sure why, but King Piccolo liked having Frikiza in his life. And not just for sex. … Well, mostly for sex. Sex, and… something else. What the hell? He could get sex off any other girl, and yet he didn’t want Frikiza to die. Why…? … Oh. King Piccolo swallowed. Oh, fuck. No…  
“I…” King Piccolo choked. “I think I… I lov –”  
“ _ **No**_!”

King Piccolo awoke screaming, his eyes wide from the terrible nightmare that had been his - - ‘moment’ with Frikiza! No! No, it was bullshit! Why the hell would he dream about something as filthy and pathetic as that! It wasn’t true, not in a million years! It was impossible, for one thing! He was the Demon King Piccolo, he didn’t - - he didn’t do things like that! He wasn’t capable of having **those** feelings!  
“King Piccolo!” Oh, great… King Piccolo looked up angrily to see his four mutant children standing there with worried looks on their faces.  
“Are you alright, Sire?” Piano asked.  
“Fine!” King Piccolo barked. “Why wouldn’t I be?”  
“Well… you were screaming.” Piano said.  
“Shut up, no I wasn’t!” King Piccolo snarled. “You must be hearing things, Piano!”  
“Yes, King Piccolo…” Piano mumbled. “I must be.”  
“Tch.” King Piccolo snorted in disgust. Fools. Why didn’t they mind their own business? If King Piccolo wanted them, he would call for them. “Get out of here.” King Piccolo ordered. “ **Now**.”  
“Yes, Sire!” The mutants cried, and bolted out of the room. 

King Piccolo grunted angrily, and lay back down. Morons. They were the reason he’d had that stupid dream. Blubbering over her and praising her as if she were some sort of goddess… They were the ones that cared about Frikiza, not him! They were the ones that didn’t want her to die; they were the ones that felt… ‘that way’ about her! And it was **pathetic**! Frikiza was nothing more than a sex slave – and an irritating one at that. She knew too much about King Piccolo, and she was too nice. She was so nice that it was sickening. Her only redeeming feature was her body, which King Piccolo **used**.  
“Um… King Piccolo?” Piano’s voice came from the doorway.  
“ _Yes_?” King Piccolo seethed, sitting up to look at his son. Why had Piano come back? Did he have a death wish? “This had better be worth it.”  
“Um… Frikiza’s here.” Piano said. “You have your evening class, remember?”  
“I’m returning to life tomorrow, what is the point of going to an evening class!” King Piccolo snapped.  
“I told her you’d say that.” Piano replied. “But she said she would cancel your Earth visit and break your legs if you didn’t attend the class.”  
“… Tch.” King Piccolo spat. Whatever. He wanted to go to the class anyway, just to gloat to all those losers that he was getting out of here tomorrow. Actually, he would love to go to the class – going to the class was **his** idea. “Tell her I’ll be out in five minutes.” King Piccolo ordered, and Piano left the room, trying his best to hide an amused smirk from King Piccolo.

XXXXX

_Snigger. Giggle_. Elsewhere, in Frieza’s cave, Dodoria was sitting in silent anger, gritting his teeth at the sounds of supressed laughter coming from various parts of the room. Cell, Frieza, Zarbon… They were **all** laughing at his family!  
“Stop it!” Dodoria snapped. “How are you still laughing! It was an hour ago!”  
“Sorry, Dodoria. It’s just one of those shows you can laugh at every time.” Cell grinned.  
“It wasn’t a show, it was my family!” Dodoria yelled.  
“I can’t believe how much you look like your mother.” Zarbon sniggered, and he, Cell and Frieza all burst out laughing.

Dodoria clenched his fists as he watched them. Unbelievable. Zarbon had barely spoken a word to Frieza and Cell since their engagement, and now here he was, laughing with them like they were best friends – over Dodoria’s family! It was sickening!  
“I **don’t** look like her!” Dodoria argued. “I look like my dad!”  
“And he looks like an ulcer.” Cell replied, and he, Frieza and Zarbon started laughing again.  
“You take that back!” Dodoria yelled, taking a fighting stance. “I mean it! I’m not kidding around, Cell!”  
“Oh Dodoria, calm down.” Frieza smirked. “You should be glad – your little freak show has finally given Zarbon and Cell something they can agree on.”  
“What, the fact that they both think my family is hideous?” Dodoria snarled. “Why should I be glad about that?”  
“Well, not all of your family.” Zarbon said. “Your sister’s boyfriend is alright.”  
“What? No way!” Dodoria frowned. “The guy’s a weed – she doesn’t need someone like that. He weighs less than **her**.”  
“Yes, but be fair now.” Zarbon smirked. “So did Planet Vegeta.” And they all started laughing again.  
“I hate you guys.” Dodoria growled.

XXXXX

“Stop laughing, Piccolo!” Frikiza yelled as she stormed into her house. It was after their rehabilitation class, and King Piccolo was still sniggering to himself about making almost everyone in the group cry with his boasting about the fact that he would be revived tomorrow and they were all still doomed to spend the rest of eternity rotting away in hell.  
“Sorry.” King Piccolo smirked, following her into the house.  
“No you’re not!” Frikiza snapped, and glared at him. “You’re proud of it, aren’t you? The whole time you were just gloating and gloating and gloating – you know, I’ve half a mind to not let you go to Earth at **all**!”  
“Oh, don’t be so pathetic.” King Piccolo said. “They’re in hell for a reason, they deserve to be tormented.”  
“Well you’re in hell for a reason, do you think **you** deserve to be tormented?” Frikiza argued.  
“I am being tormented – right now.” King Piccolo growled.

Frikiza smirked a little, and looked away.  
“Anyway. Are you staying?” She demanded, and moved her eyes back to him, softening a little. “It’s… our last night together.”  
“Mm. So it is.” King Piccolo nodded. She had a point there. This was his last night with Frikiza’s body. It would be a shame to waste it, wouldn’t it? … Hm… maybe he could make his dream come true… The first part, at least. _Only_ the first part. “Frikiza,” King Piccolo began, approaching her. “Do you have a corset?”  
“A corset?” Frikiza repeated, blushing slightly. “I have a red one?”  
“That’ll do.” King Piccolo beamed, his face lighting up with excitement. Oh yeah, that was perfect! “Go and put it on.”  
“Fine.” Frikiza said sternly. “But I’m still annoyed about your behaviour in the meeting.”  
“I was excited!” King Piccolo protested. Not unlike now…  
“I know.” Frikiza sighed. “But… can’t you just take other people’s feelings into consideration? Just once?”  
“No.” King Piccolo growled. “Now – can you go and get dressed?”  
“Fine!” Frikiza huffed, and stormed off into the bedroom. “But I’m not using my final form!”  
“What!” King Piccolo cried. Oh… why did she always have to ruin everything? Bitch.

King Piccolo went over to Frikiza’s fridge and helped himself to a drink while he waited. Tch. Not using her final form. It was their last night together, and she knew that was his favourite! What a heartless witch. … She was great. That was an example of how great she was. What a heartless, beautiful – **no**! King Piccolo stopped himself. There was nothing good about Frikiza except her body! Nothing! He was **not** interested in her in any other way!  
“Piccolo!” Frikiza called from the bedroom. “I’m ready.”  
“Mm.” King Piccolo grunted as he downed a melon soda. He belched loudly, then headed for Frikiza’s room.

King Piccolo stopped in the doorway, and stared at the figure that greeted him. Wow. King Piccolo’s tongue almost fell out of his mouth. She _really_ looked good in red. The corset was red, and black. It was red – scarlet red in the middle, with black laces and black bra cups, and a black outline along the edge of the corset, around her thighs and butt… Mmm!  
“Is it okay?” Frikiza asked, blushing as she felt King Piccolo’s gaze on her.  
“Yeah…” King Piccolo mumbled. “Uh…” He looked away, slightly embarrassed. He almost couldn’t believe he was even asking… He was a pervert, wasn’t he? Just a dirty old man. … Whatever. Who cares? He wouldn’t see her after tomorrow anyway, so if there was ever a time to make Frikiza do _whatever_ he wanted, it was this. “Do you… do you have a cloak?” King Piccolo asked.  
“A cloak?” Frikiza frowned. “Well… there’s that robe I wear.”  
“No.” King Piccolo replied, shaking his head. “A red one.”  
“Um… no?”

King Piccolo looked at Frikiza, and smirked.  
“Don’t worry.” He said. “I’ll make one.” He approached Frikiza and held out his hand, then all of a sudden Frikiza found herself dressed in a red hooded cloak.  
“What!” Frikiza gasped, examining her new clothing. “Piccolo – what the hell!” She stared at herself in the wall mirror and gasped in shock, her eyes widening. “I look like Little Red Riding Hood!”  
“Yep.” King Piccolo nodded. “You do.”

Frikiza paused, and looked at him, and a sudden realisation swept across her face.  
“Oh my God…” She choked. “Is this like… a fetish of yours?”  
“Well… I wouldn’t say that…” King Piccolo mumbled, his cheeks darkening. A fetish? That made him sound like a real pervert! This was just – fun. And she had no right to question it! King Piccolo glared at Frikiza. “Call it what you want!” He barked. “Do you want to have sex or not? Because this is your last chance!”  
“Okay.” Frikiza said, giggling. “Don’t get so worked up, Wolfie.”  
“Wolfie?” King Piccolo repeated, almost insulted. He didn’t want her to call him that!  
“Yeah.” Frikiza smirked, approaching him. “You’re the big bad wolf, right…? And I’m the little girl that’s going to get gobbled up?”  
“Um…” King Piccolo felt his cheeks darken as Frikiza placed her hands on his chest and stared up at him with big, innocent eyes and parted lips. Oh, hell… She really knew how to look in that outfit…  
“Oh, Mr. Wolf…” Frikiza purred, trailing her hands down King Piccolo’s chest as she raised her lips up to his. Their mouths met, and she kissed him softly, then playfully flicked her tongue against King Piccolo’s fangs. “What big teeth you have…”  
“Mm.” King Piccolo smirked, placing his arms around Frikiza’s slender waist. Oh, yeah… This was more like it. “All the better to bite you with, my dear…” He purred, and sank his large canines into her neck. Frikiza let out a breathless gasp as he bit her. She hissed a little, then let out a short, helpless whimper. Oh, she sounded so helpless… 

King Piccolo kissed Frikiza’s neck and closed his eyes, hungrily savouring the taste of her innocent flesh as his lustful hands crept down her body. He grabbed her ass firmly, digging his claws into her flesh and drawing out another sharp, helpless whimper.  
“Ouch…” Frikiza cried in a small voice that made King Piccolo’s pants immediately tighten. Oh, how was she doing this…? How…? “Oh, Mr. Wolf…” Frikiza breathed. “What big claws you have…”  
“All the better to pin you down with, my dear…” King Piccolo growled, pushing her towards the bed. He threw her down onto the duvet and climbed on top of her, pinning her underneath him.  
“Mm.” Frikiza whimpered again, looking truly helpless as she writhed underneath him. Oh hell, she looked so helpless… How did she manage to pull this off? King Piccolo almost climaxed just looking at her, and those parted moist lips and those big, innocent eyes. Hell, if she spoke another word in that timid voice…

Frikiza gazed at King Piccolo, smirking as she felt something against her. She bit her lip and let out a soft moan, squirming underneath him as if she were trying to escape. “Oh, Mr. Wolf…” She uttered softly – in that timid voice. “What a big –”  
“All the better to fuck you with!” King Piccolo cried, and ripped off her corset before Frikiza could even so much as blink. 

XXXXX

King Piccolo lay with his eyes closed, relishing in the aftermath of the best sex he’d ever had. Frikiza really suited that outfit, and she was the most amazing actress he’d ever known. Well… maybe it wasn’t really an act. Frikiza was rather naïve at times, wasn’t she? So maybe there was a part of her that really was innocent and helpless… _Mmm_! Delicious! He could prey on her again and again. King Piccolo opened his eyes to look down at his lover as she lay against him, and Frikiza stared back with a teasing smile.  
“Fun?” She giggled.  
“Yeah.” King Piccolo answered. He looked at her naked body, then glanced at her once beautiful corset that was now in pieces on the floor. “… Sorry about your corset.” King Piccolo mumbled, his cheeks darkening slightly. As it turned out, he was pretty good at playing his part as well…  
“It’s fine.” Frikiza sighed. “I guess I won’t be needing it after next week anyway.”

There it was. All of a sudden it was that feeling again – the one he’d dreamt about. As soon as Frikiza spoke the words King Piccolo was struck by an agonising, draining sadness. He felt like his chest was going to crumble apart, like his heart was literally going to break. Why was this happening? What did it mean? … No. No, this couldn’t be. It couldn’t! Please…  
“Frikiza.” King Piccolo uttered hoarsely.  
“Mm?” Frikiza replied, looking at him. “What?”  
_“… I don’t want you to die.”_ He spoke it silently. Of course. There was no other way. The last thing in the world King Piccolo would do was say that out loud. He’d never forgive himself. He’d become a laughing stock. It wasn’t right – he was the Demon King Piccolo; he was the embodiment of evil itself! He couldn’t say that sort of thing to anyone, and especially not to Frikiza! This was nothing. It was just a stupid phase, a natural sickness that even the strongest being in the universe would catch from time to time. It would pass. Of course it would. Whatever this thing, this ‘sadness’ was, once Frikiza was gone it would soon go away on its own. All he had to do was wait. … Anyway, King Piccolo couldn’t spend his time dwelling on something as insignificant as this. He had more important things to think about. Like conquering Earth! “Nothing.” King Piccolo said bluntly, dismissing the whole thing. “I’m going to sleep.”  
“Okay…” Frikiza mumbled, somewhat confused. What had gotten into him all of a sudden? He seemed so… serious. … Hm. Maybe he was having second thoughts about tomorrow, about what he would wish for. Frikiza could only hope. If King Piccolo wished for something good tomorrow, then at least she wouldn’t have wasted the last few months of her life. If she had drawn out that little slither of good in him… She couldn’t even imagine how happy it would make her to see that for herself. Please…

King Piccolo grunted as he stood beside the bed and tugged on the duvet that Frikiza was still laying on, urging her to move. She nodded and moved off the bed, allowing him to pull back the covers. Then they climbed into bed together and lay down to sleep, neither one of them speaking a word. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to do the Little Red Riding Hood XD It just seemed like something they'd be into! Truth be told, when I was in the early planning stages of this fic I planned to do a lemon scene with them dressed up as Little Red and the Wolf, but that was when I thought I'd get them to the 'relationship' chapter in time for Halloween, because they were supposed to be at a Halloween fancy dress party in hell when the lemon took place, but then Halloween came and went before King Piccolo and Frikiza got together, and it didn't really seem appropriate to write the lemon anymore. Oh well. Anyway, there's a few things going on in this chapter so I hope everybody got something out of it. Please leave your thoughts.


	21. Saying Goodbye

King Piccolo’s eyes steadily came into focus as he awoke, and he was greeted with the sight of Frikiza’s bedroom ceiling. He yawned and stretched a little, noticing a weight across his chest. He looked down to see Frikiza’s arm draped across him, and Frikiza herself was lying against King Piccolo, gazing up at him.  
“Are you awake?” She asked.  
“Mm.” King Piccolo grunted. “Looks like it.”  
“You know… this is your last morning in hell.” Frikiza said. “How do you feel?”  
“Elated.” King Piccolo replied, a wide grin sweeping across his face. “What are you waiting for!” He sat up in bed. “Send me back, already!”  
“Don’t you want breakfast first?” Frikiza sighed.  
“No!” King Piccolo barked. “I can eat when I’m alive! Send me back!”  
“You aren’t scheduled to go back until the afternoon.” Frikiza replied, smirking slightly. “Sorry.”  
“What!” King Piccolo cried. What the hell was she talking about? Why did he have a time slot? This wasn’t an airline flight! “What am I supposed to do all morning!” He demanded.  
“Well… it’s our last morning together…” Frikiza mumbled, lowering her eyes. “I was thinking… we could spend it together.”  
“Hm.” King Piccolo grunted. He looked her up and down, then smirked. Well… okay. He’d had worst mornings. “Fine.” King Piccolo purred, lowering his fangs onto Frikiza’s shoulder. “Get on your front.”  
“No, Piccolo… I’m exhausted.” Frikiza groaned. “Can’t we just… hang out?”  
“Hang out?” King Piccolo growled. What was she talking about? No, they couldn’t just ‘hang out’! That was boring! What was wrong with her? First she was making him wait to return to Earth, and now she wasn’t submitting to him! What was the **point** of Frikiza?  
“Yeah.” Frikiza smiled, her tail trailing up King Piccolo’s spine. “We could watch a movie, or talk…” She noticed the displeased look on King Piccolo’s face, and giggled. He really wasn’t happy, was he? He only had to wait a few hours, he was so impatient! “Or…” Frikiza purred, trying to cheer King Piccolo up. She slid her tail back down his spine, and moved it round to the front of his body. “If you lie back down, I could give you a parting gift.”  
“A… parting gift?” King Piccolo repeated, becoming more aware of her tail against his body.

Frikiza’s eyes twinkled wickedly, and she nodded.   
“Mm-hm.” She smirked, and moved up to him. “Lie down, Master.”   
“… Yes, Dear.” King Piccolo smirked, suddenly finding himself in a much better mood. He lay back down in the bed, and waited for Frikiza. Frikiza smiled and kissed him, then King Piccolo eagerly watched as she moved down under the covers. “Hmm.” King Piccolo grinned, closing his eyes as he felt Frikiza’s lips around him. He arched his back and let out a satisfied sigh. Oh, yeah… What a way to spend his last morning…

XXXXX

_Sniff. Snivel._ King Piccolo’s mutant children watched with teary eyes as their master and Frikiza had their final embrace. It was now a few hours later, and King Piccolo was due to return to Earth at any moment. He’d spent the morning in Frikiza’s house, lounging around watching TV, eating and drinking as much as he possibly could, engaging in physical activities with Frikiza and trying to ignore her talking. She’d become more unbearable as the morning had gone on, more clingy. She’d been holding his hand and hugging him all morning, and she’d started wittering crap about… King Piccolo didn’t even know what. He’d tuned out. Something about missing him, and wishing him luck, and hoping he would use his wishes for good… It was crap. Still, King Piccolo had managed to get a few good backrubs and sex sessions out of her – in her clingy state Frikiza had been even more accommodating than usual. 

Now they were outside King Piccolo’s cave. Hugging. Or rather, Frikiza was hugging him. She had gone with King Piccolo to his cave so that he could bid a temporary farewell to the mutants, and just as King Piccolo had stepped outside his cave to be returned to life, Frikiza had thrown herself at him. Now they were standing outside his cave in a tight embrace, with a steadily growing audience.   
“Frikiza…” King Piccolo growled, his cheeks turning violet. “Get off me. You’re making a scene.” He daren’t look up at the ever-growing crowd outside his cave. This was embarrassing. This was more than embarrassing! Frikiza was making him look like a weakling! She had her arms and tail wrapped tightly around him, her head against his chest, her face buried into the fabric of his gi… and King Piccolo was pretty sure she was crying. How _**pathetic**_! She wasn’t even his girlfriend! And she would be dead herself in a few days, so what did it matter if he left her now? 

King Piccolo glared down at Frikiza, wishing now more than ever that he was the most powerful being in the universe. He wanted to be the most powerful being in the universe, just so that he’d have the strength to break out of Frikiza’s grasp and destroy her – in front of all these people. Why were they even here anyway? Had they never seen anyone being returned to life before? This was nothing to do with them! King Piccolo didn’t even know who most of these people were, but Frieza and his crew were amongst them. No doubt they were grinning like idiots. Bastards. 

At a safe distance, Bardock was reluctantly standing with his arm around a saiyan woman, who was sobbing into his armour.   
“Jeez Gine, will you pull yourself together!” Bardock snapped. “You don’t even know them!”   
“Well I… I have classes with Frikiza.” His wife Gine wept, wiping her eyes. She frowned at Bardock. “How can you just stand there and watch this? It’s heart-breaking!”   
“What’s heart-breaking about it?” Bardock frowned. “You know, I heard she’s Frieza’s sister.”   
“ _ **So**_!” Gine cried. “That doesn’t mean she’s anything like him!” She looked back over at King Piccolo and Frikiza, and continued sobbing. “Oh… this is worse than watching Kakarot and Chichi!”   
“Gine, will you **stop** watching Kakarot! Everything he does depresses you!” Bardock yelled.   
“Well… I know he means well, but I don’t think he appreciates what an impact his absence has on his family…” Gine mumbled, and looked at Bardock sternly. “He gets that off you!” “Not this again…” Bardock groaned.

Not too far from them King Vegeta was stood with his wife Queen Turnipa, surrounded by elite saiyans and watching Frikiza and King Piccolo disapprovingly, with his arms folded.   
“Tch. What’s she even upset about?” King Vegeta snorted. “He won’t even last a day, as soon as he gets up there Vegeta will send him back down here.”   
“I can’t believe she actually likes him.” Queen Turnipa remarked. “They’re not even married.”   
“Well…” Nappa uttered, looking at her. “I don’t think that matters to some aliens, Your Highness. I heard that alien girls can fall in love with people they aren’t even dating.”   
“Tch. Pathetic.” Queen Turnipa sniped. “I married a man and had two children with him, and we’re _still_ not in love. Are we, Dear?”   
“God, no.” King Vegeta replied. “We don’t have time for that crap.”   
“That’s how Vegeta managed to fall for that alien girl.” Queen Turnipa growled, folding her arms. “He was raised by fucking icejins!” She glared at King Vegeta angrily, who glared back.   
“Don’t look at me like that! I didn’t choose to give him away!” King Vegeta barked.   
“Hmph.” Queen Turnipa grunted, looking away. “Some role model you turned out to be.”   
“Oh yeah? And where were you!” King Vegeta argued.   
“Oh, not this again…” Nappa groaned, covering his ears.

Away from the saiyan crowd Frieza was watching Frikiza and King Piccolo with Cell, Dodoria, Zarbon and the Cell Juniors.   
“Wow… I didn’t know Frikiza cared about him so much.” Dodoria said.   
“Pity she’s going to die next week.” Zarbon remarked, smirking slightly.   
“Do you think she’d want to join us on our wedding night first…?” Cell questioned. Frieza looked at him sternly.   
“I’m _not_ doing it with Frikiza.” He growled.   
“Fine.” Cell smirked. “You can watch.”   
“Watch what, Papa?” One of the Cell Juniors questioned, looking at him.   
“Uh…” Cell mumbled, his cheeks darkening. Frieza smirked sinisterly.   
“Go on, Cell. Answer the child.” He said. “Watch what?”   
“Shut up!” Cell hissed at Frieza angrily, and moved his eyes back to the Junior. “Uh…”  
“Can we come to your wedding night too?” Another Cell Junior asked innocently.   
“ _ **No**_!” Frieza, Cell and Dodoria all screamed. Zarbon giggled. 

Back in front of King Piccolo’s cave, King Piccolo had finally had enough of the spectators.   
“Go away!” He screamed at them. “Nothing to see here – Boys!”   
“Oh…” The mutants mumbled, and looked over at the crowd. “Shoo! Get lost! This is private!” They yelled.   
“You gonna make us leave?” Nappa called back.   
“We sure are!” Tambourine snapped. “We’ll kill all of you!”   
“Yeah? You and what power level?” King Vegeta laughed.   
“…” The mutants turned to King Piccolo.   
“He has a point, Sire.” Piano said.   
“Yeah – they’re all stronger than us.” Drum nodded.   
“ _ **God dammit**_!” King Piccolo roared. “Frikiza – get the hell off me before I bite your tail off!”   
“Okay… I’m sorry.” Frikiza uttered quietly. She raised her face from his chest and stared up at him, smiling weakly. “I just… I can’t believe it’s time already.”   
“Yeah, it is.” King Piccolo muttered, looking away. “So just send me back, will you?”   
“Okay.” Frikiza nodded. “… Have fun on Earth, Piccolo.”   
“Oh, I will.” King Piccolo smirked. “Have fun - - … dying.”   
“Thanks.” Frikiza growled. 

She softened immediately, realising that King Piccolo hadn’t meant any offence. He was different now, wasn’t he? Slightly… Maybe he would wish for something nice after all. Maybe he would put his life to good use. “Piccolo…” Frikiza blinked back her tears, and took hold of his hands. “… I love you. Remember that.”   
“ _Awww_.” The crowd murmured. King Piccolo turned violet, and glared at his audience.   
“Get lost!” He roared. “Don’t you have homes to go to!”   
“Some of us are moving into your cave.” A member of the crowd replied, causing King Piccolo to tremble with rage. The nerve of them… bastards!   
“Look!” He glared at Frikiza. “Your love is wasted on me! How many times do I need to tell you!”   
“And how many times do I need to tell **you** that I don’t care?” Frikiza replied. “Listen…” She wrapped her arms around him again, and pulled him into another embrace. “I just want you to know… if I do die next week, I’ll die loving you. Please don’t forget.” She gazed up at him. “Don’t forget me.”   
_“I can’t forget you.”_ Shit! King Piccolo caught himself just in time, before the words could leave his mouth. Why was that his natural response? It wasn’t even true! Of course he would forget her. He had the rest of his life to forget her, she wasn’t that special. There was nothing memorable about Frikiza. In a few years, he doubted he would even remember her name, or the fact that she had existed at all. She was… nothing. Nothing except a pain in the chest – and the ass.

Frikiza settled herself back against King Piccolo, and squeezed him.   
“Goodbye.” She said weakly. She opened her eyes and leaned up to kiss him. King Piccolo closed his eyes, and he suddenly felt out of place. For some reason, this suddenly didn’t feel real. He knew it was. It had better be real, returning to Earth was all he’d ever wanted! But… it was Frikiza. For some reason, it didn’t feel real with Frikiza. It was as if he didn’t want to believe it; he didn’t want to believe that… this was the last time he would see her. This was the last time he would hold her, touch her, smell her… **No**! King Piccolo almost slapped himself. Why was he thinking like that? So what if it was the last time he would see her? Frikiza was just one woman, and in a few hours he would be the ruler of Earth and he’d have plenty of them! This one didn’t matter.

King Piccolo opened his eyes to look down at Frikiza, placing his arms around her waist. She was gorgeous… He would miss that body. He was willing to admit that – and that was all he was willing to admit. But even that didn’t matter. Frikiza’s body was unbelievable, but there were millions like it. There was nothing about Frikiza that King Piccolo couldn’t find elsewhere. _Nothing_.   
“Goodbye, Frikiza.” King Piccolo said. Frikiza nodded, and stepped back. She glanced over at the hell guard that was watching them, and King Piccolo suddenly started to feel funny. He felt… alive. _“Yes…”_ King Piccolo thought to himself as his body started to feel warm and his vision turned white. _“World domination, here I come!”_


	22. Taking Hostages

King Piccolo stared at his surroundings. He was in the wilderness… The beautiful, alive wilderness. He could feel fresh air on his face; he could feel the Earth underneath his feet; he could smell the trees, the ground… the world of the living! King Piccolo closed his eyes and inhaled, breathing in the scent of life… Yes… _Yes_! Finally, he was here! And there was no time to lose – he only had today to find the dragonballs. King Piccolo instantly suppressed his ki; there was no way he was allowing Junior or Goku to find him! Not until it was too late, and then they could watch as he dominated Earth. Now… the dragonballs. Frikiza and Baba had made King Piccolo spit out the two he’d gathered last time. Tch. Bitches. Why had Frikiza even let him collect them if she was just going to make him surrender them? Because she was insane, that was why! He was better off without her. _Much_ better off. Now… the dragonballs. All seven of them needed to be collected. Well. King Piccolo already knew the location of two – if they were still there. He would be furious if they weren’t! He leapt into the air, and wasted no time in flying towards his dragonballs.

XXXXX

Meanwhile back in hell, the crowd that had gathered outside King Piccolo’s cave started to walk back to their dwellings, muttering with a mixture of disinterest, bitterness and jealousy.  
“Oh, no…” Gine uttered, looking over at Frikiza. “She looks heartbroken. Oh… I hope he finds some way of saving her.”   
“I doubt it.” Bardock shrugged. “Kakarot’ll send him back here before he can even gather the dragonballs.”   
“Oh!” Gine gasped. “I forgot to give King Piccolo a message for Kakarot!”   
“A message?” Bardock looked at her. “What?”   
“Well…” Gine blushed slightly. “On the off chance that he does manage to kill Kakarot… I wanted him to tell Kakarot to stop by here and visit, before he goes upstairs.”   
“Right…” Bardock mumbled sceptically. “Gine… sorry to disappoint you, but I don’t think Kakarot would do that…”

Over by Frieza’s crowd, Dodoria was looking at Frikiza with concern.   
“Lord Frieza… She looks really upset. Should we say something?” He asked.   
“Yes. Good idea, Dodoria.” Frieza growled. “Go over there and tell her to stop being so pathetic. She’s making me look bad.”   
“But Lord Frieza –”  
“ _Leave it_!” Frieza snarled, instantly silencing Dodoria.   
“Dodoria… if you want to feel sorry for anyone, how about them?” Zarbon remarked, looking over at the deceased members of the Ginyu Force. Jeice, Recoome, Burter and Guldo were all huddled together a few feet away, desperately clinging onto each other as they cried loudly and dramatically.   
“Ugh. _They’re_ your best warriors, Frieza?” Cell sniped.   
“They’re nothing without Captain Ginyu.” Frieza growled, looking disapprovingly at the wailing Ginyu Force. Idiots. They didn’t even know Frikiza! “Come on – let’s go before they see us.” He turned and flew off towards his cave, followed by his companions. 

Meanwhile, as her audience flew away one by one, Frikiza let out a long sigh, and wiped away her tears. Dammit… She hadn’t meant to cry, and especially not in front of all these people. It had just happened! And maybe she overdid it a little with the ‘I love you’s… She hadn’t meant that either – but she’d just said it without thinking. Why was she so impulsive? It wasn’t like he cared, was it? King Piccolo didn’t care about whether or not Frikiza loved him, or even liked him! She didn’t matter to him. He’d spent the whole morning telling her that. … Why had she even bothered with King Piccolo? Maybe everyone else was right; maybe he hadn’t changed. Maybe she was just imagining it… … No. No, he had! It was only a little, but… King Piccolo had become a better person, Frikiza knew it. She could feel it. Maybe he would use the dragonballs for good after all…  
“Um… Frikiza?” Frikiza snapped out of her thoughts and looked up at the sound of the mutant nameks’ voices. They were standing in front of her, staring at her with a mixture of concern and awkwardness. It was so sweet…   
“Are you okay?” Piano asked. Frikiza didn’t reply. She couldn’t find the words. They were just… touching. 

Piano let out a sharp cry, taken aback when Frikiza suddenly threw her arms around him.   
“Yes.” Frikiza answered. “Thank you.”   
“Um… don’t mention it.” Piano replied awkwardly. He looked at his brothers for guidance, unsure of whether or not he was supposed to touch her back. He’d never been hugged by anyone before… The mutants simply grinned and nodded encouragingly, and Piano cautiously put his arms around Frikiza, freezing when she started to laugh. Was she supposed to be laughing? Had he done something wrong?   
“You don’t feel comfortable.” Frikiza commented.   
“No, I…” Piano’s face darkened as Frikiza pulled away, and she looked at him.   
“Sorry.” Frikiza mumbled sheepishly.   
“… It’s fine.” Piano smiled, and stretched out his arms. “We’re still here for you, Frikiza.”   
“Oh, Boys…” Frikiza sobbed. “Thank you!” She hugged Piano again, and was soon joined by the rest of King Piccolo’s mutant sons.

XXXXX

Back on Earth, King Piccolo was racing across the wilderness as fast as his ki could carry him. He recalled his dragonballs’ exact location; it wouldn’t be long before he was there. His heart was tingling with excitement; he could practically feel the power that would soon be bestowed upon him. After he’d made his wishes there would be no more hell, no more Goku, and no more opposition! He would rule the world, for now and the rest of eternity – **dammit**! King Piccolo stopped dead only a few feet away from his two confiscated dragonballs. They weren’t alone. There were two women there, picking them up. Damn… Why did something always have to get in the way? This was ridiculous! 

King Piccolo darted behind a tree, out of sight, and watched the women. Shit. What was he supposed to do now? If he killed them he would be sent straight back to hell! … Wait. King Piccolo frowned as he studied the women. One had blue hair, the other black… He recognised her. It was… it was her! Goku’s wife! Chi-something! What the hell was she doing with his dragonballs? Hadn’t her family done enough damage to him? The devious bitch!   
“Unbelievable…” King Piccolo seethed, his fists clenching in anger. Maybe it would be worth killing her, just to get at Goku. If that loud-mouthed little witch thought for a second that she was getting his dragonballs… Hm? King Piccolo stopped when the women started talking. He continued to watch them closely, and listened.   
“Chichi, are you sure this is necessary?” The blue-haired woman questioned. Oh, what was her name…? King Piccolo was certain he’d heard it before. “I’m pretty sure if he ever does come back to Earth, Goku and Vegeta can handle him.”   
“Oh yeah? What if they’re not there!” Chichi argued. “Goku’s already over at King Kai’s for the next God knows how long!” Hmm, Goku was away? King Piccolo smirked. That was interesting… This might work out well after all. Yes… Yes! With no Goku, King Piccolo was unstoppable!   
“So what? Vegeta’s still here.” The blue-haired woman reasoned. “And we’ve got the kids.”   
“Well either way, it still makes sense to gather them.” Chichi said. “Then if we don’t need them, you can give them away as a prize as your birthday party.”   
“Oh yeah, that’s a good idea!” The blue-haired woman exclaimed. “Okay.” 

King Piccolo watched as she tucked his dragonballs away into her pocket, then looked down at a device in her hand. What was that thing? Come to think of it, how had they found his dragonballs all the way out here? There was nothing but trees and mountains for miles around. King Piccolo’s eyes widened as he suddenly thought of something. The last time he was alive, that little idiot – Emperor Pilaf – he had used some sort of map device to locate the dragonballs for King Piccolo. Could this device be the same thing? So, if he could just swipe that… “The next one isn’t far from here, and there’s only two left to go after that!” What! They had four already? Oh, that was it. King Piccolo **had** to intervene. After all, Frikiza had just said he couldn’t hurt or kill anyone… she never said anything about threatening to hurt them, did she? A wicked smirk came across King Piccolo’s lips as he eyed up the women venomously. Perfect…

XXXXX

Back in hell, the mutant nameks were still gathered round Frikiza outside King Piccolo’s cave.   
“Frikiza… listen.” Cymbal said softly. “I know you like King Piccolo, but I wouldn’t put too much hope in him if I were you. Killing Goku is something he’s wanted ever since he came down here.”   
“Yeah – and no offence to you, but I’m not sure you’ve changed that.” Tambourine agreed.   
“I know…” Frikiza mumbled. “But – wanting to do something and actually doing it are two different things. Just because he wants to kill Goku, that doesn’t mean he’ll use his wishes to do it. Maybe he’ll realise that there’s more to life than getting your revenge on somebody.”   
“But what makes you so sure, Frikiza?” Piano pleaded. “He _is_ evil. What makes you think he would change?”   
“Well… you guys did.” Frikiza replied. “And you’re his clones, right?”   
“Well, uh…” The mutants all mumbled sheepishly, reluctant to admit that she had a point.   
“And Junior was more like King Piccolo than anybody!” Frikiza protested. “Your father put everything he had into Junior, and yet Junior is a completely different person now. If Piccolo was pure evil, then he wouldn’t have even be capable of creating someone so good.”   
“… Hm.” The mutants grunted.   
“She has a point, Piano.” Drum uttered. “Junior isn’t evil – that’s why King Piccolo’s so mad at him.”   
“Yes, but…” Piano looked at Frikiza. “Even if he is capable of turning good, that doesn’t mean he will. You do know that, right?”   
“Of course.” Frikiza nodded. “But… I’ll find out, won’t I? I just want to know, that’s all.” She smiled at the mutants. “I’m going to watch him from King Yemma’s office – I’ll see you guys later.”   
“Okay…” The mutants answered robotically, and watched Frikiza fly away.   
“… King Piccolo’s gonna really upset her.” Drum stated. “He didn’t even care that she was crying, he’s not going to use those wishes for good.”   
“Yeah, and I don’t even want to think about how mad he’ll get when he tries to use his wishes for bad stuff.” Tambourine whined.   
“Uh-huh!” The other mutants nodded in agreement. 

XXXXX

Meanwhile back on Earth, Bulma and Chichi were just about to hop back into their capsule jet when a dark shadow suddenly came over them. They looked up, and their eyes widened at the sight of King Piccolo standing over them.   
“Hello, Ladies.” King Piccolo smirked wickedly. “Would you care to help me? I’m looking for the dragonballs.”   
“… Um… Bulma?” Chichi uttered. Bulma, that was it! The blue-haired one was named Bulma! Chichi looked at her companion. “Maybe now would be a good time to call Vegeta?”   
“ _Don’t_ even try.” King Piccolo snarled, causing Bulma to freeze on the spot just as she was about to grab her cell phone. He held his hand up to the women and glared at them, forming a ki ball in his hand. “Do as I say or you will both burn.”   
“Oh yeah?” Chichi frowned. “As if Frikiza would let you! Where is she?”   
“She’s not here.” King Piccolo smirked. “I escaped.” Well… it was just a little white lie. Just to make this whole transaction run smoother.   
“Yeah, right.” Chichi scoffed, folding her arms stubbornly. “Prove it!”   
“Fine.” King Piccolo shrugged, and dispersed his ki ball. He looked at Chichi, and before she could even blink King Piccolo smacked his large hand into the back of Chichi’s head, knocking her out cold.   
“Oh my God!” Bulma screamed, rushing to Chichi’s side.   
“Hmph.” King Piccolo snorted, looking disapprovingly at the unconscious Chichi. Some martial artist she’d turned out to be. That way payback for grabbing his antennae! Bitch. Bulma checked Chichi’s pulse and breathed a sigh of relief when she realised Chichi was still alive, then she glared up at King Piccolo.   
“What the hell is wrong with you!” She barked. “My husband will be here any second to kick your ass!”   
“Oh, really? And how do you supposed he’ll find us?” King Piccolo sneered.   
“He – he just will!” Bulma pouted. “So you’d better not do anything to hurt me – or Chichi!”

King Piccolo paused. Hm… She had a point. As long as King Piccolo didn’t have the dragonballs, Goku’s friends could still send him back to hell. King Piccolo had originally planned to knock out these two women and leave them here to rot, but… what would be the point in that? As long as they weren’t with him, Goku’s friends would have no reason to do whatever King Piccolo said, but if he had these two women… they would make the perfect hostages!   
“Get in there.” King Piccolo ordered, pointing at Bulma’s jet. “We’re going to get the dragonballs.”   
“Oh we are, are we?” Bulma growled.   
“Yes.” King Piccolo snarled, raising his hand to her. “We are.”

Bulma hesitated, watching as King Piccolo formed a ki ball in his hand. He wouldn’t, would he? Why did he even want her to go with him in the first place? Oh… Right. Bulma understood it now. It didn’t take a genius to work out what he was doing – this big ogre didn’t stand a chance against Vegeta or Krillin, or pretty much any of Goku’s friends! He didn’t have any leverage… except her and Chichi. She was a hostage. He was going to use her to make Vegeta keep distance – well that wasn’t happening! She wasn’t being a hostage for anybody!   
“Listen.” Bulma pouted. “We both know you need me, so you aren’t going to hurt me. So why don’t you just turn around and –” Bulma suddenly screamed as King Piccolo grabbed hold of her jacket and lifted her up, dangling her in front of him.   
“And… what?” King Piccolo breathed.   
“And uh… uh…” Bulma stammered, losing her nerve under his dark demonic gaze.   
“I thought so.” King Piccolo smirked. He threw her to the ground and kicked her, causing Bulma to howl in pain. “Take me to the next dragonball.” He demanded, and then he picked up the unconscious Chichi and followed Bulma into her jet.

XXXXX

Over in Otherworld, in the check-in station, King Yemma was watching the scene in anger, through a giant TV screen at the side of his desk.   
“Look, Frikiza – one’s unconscious and one’s just been kicked in the ribs. I told you he wouldn’t listen to you! Did you really expect him not to hurt anybody? He’s a demon!” King Yemma yelled.   
“I didn’t think he’d break the rules this soon…” Frikiza admitted, blushing slightly in embarrassment. Maybe she’d misjudged King Piccolo a little… He was like a kid in a candy store, going wild!   
“He’s been there for ten minutes and he’s already got two hostages.” King Yemma growled, staring at the TV. “What were you saying about him changing?”   
“He has!” Frikiza protested. “If he hadn’t, he would have at least killed Chichi.”   
“How do you know he won’t still do that?” King Yemma argued.   
“Trust me.” Frikiza nodded. She looked at King Yemma. “Can you tell King Kai not to tell Goku?”   
“What! Are you insane!” King Yemma barked. “Some lunatic from hell has taken his wife hostage, and you don’t want him to know about it?”   
“If he knows he’ll try to save her.” Frikiza protested. “I want to see how this plays out.” She smiled at King Yemma. “Don’t worry. King Piccolo won’t take over the world – and if he does kill Chichi, we can always wish her back.”   
“You know, some people find dying traumatic.” King Yemma growled.   
“Well I’ll find that out next week, won’t I?” Frikiza argued, and glared at him. King Yemma let out a sigh, suddenly feeling guilty, and he reluctantly surrendered.   
“Fine…” He mumbled. “Seeing as you’re dying next week…”  
“Thanks.” Frikiza muttered. 

King Yemma closed his eyes and silently spoke to King Kai, instructing him not to let Goku know about the situation on Earth.   
“But Frikiza,” Fortune-teller Baba spoke from Frikiza’s side. “Goku may not know about it, but what about the rest of them? I’m sure Chichi and Bulma’s families will be able to sense that something’s wrong.”   
“I thought of that…” Frikiza replied. “But… we’ll just have to hope that Piccolo gathers the dragonballs before they can find him.”   
“Oh yeah, let’s hope that.” Baba replied sarcastically, rolling her eyes. “I think you’re putting a little too much faith in this whole situation.”   
“Don’t worry.” Frikiza assured. “Piccolo will wish for something good, I promise!”   
“Hm.” Baba grunted, not convinced. She looked at Frikiza. “… If he tries to take over the world, I want your hot tub.”   
“Fine.” Frikiza huffed, folding her arms. She was a little pissed that everybody seemed to be cashing in on her upcoming death. Why didn’t they all just kill her now and save her family the bother? Bastards. 

XXXXX

Back on Earth, King Piccolo was seated in Bulma’s jet with the unconscious Chichi next to him, keeping his eyes fixed on Bulma as she navigated them towards the next dragonball.   
“Are we there yet?” King Piccolo asked impatiently.   
“For the fifth time, _ **no**_!” Bulma yelled. “You’re worse than a child!”   
“How long?” King Piccolo demanded.   
“This long!” Bulma snapped, throwing the dragon radar at him. “See! Look at the distance!” King Piccolo looked down at the dragon radar, but immediately lost interest.   
“You insolent little witch!” He snarled, glaring at Bulma. “I’m not interested in graphs! All I want to know is how long it will take! And why is it taking so long!”   
“Well by all means, go and get them yourself!” Bulma argued. “Unless you’re not hungry anymore?”   
“I told you, I’m not eating them, I’m storing them!” King Piccolo barked. “And I wouldn’t have to if I could trust the likes of you.”   
“Me? I’m not the one that knocked out Chichi and hijacked a jet!” Bulma pouted.   
“I’m warning you!” King Piccolo snarled, leaping over to her. Bulma cried out as King Piccolo grabbed her by the hair and started to dig his claws into her skull. “You know, I only need to hold one of you hostage; I could kill the other at any moment. So if I were you I’d watch your tongue, Bulma, otherwise the worthless little life I spare will be **hers**.” He watched as Bulma’s shoulders shrunk and she timidly retreated from him, not speaking a word. King Piccolo smirked, and released her. “Good girl.” He sneered. “Now… How long?”   
“We’re here.” Bulma said, landing the jet.

King Piccolo looked out of the window to see that they were beside a lake. “In there.” Bulma uttered, pointing at the lake. “It should be at the bottom.”   
“Good.” King Piccolo grunted. He looked at Bulma, and noticed that she wasn’t moving. What was she doing? Why was she just sitting there? “Go on then.” He ordered.   
“What? Me!” Bulma cried. “I’m not going in! You’re the one that wants the stupid dragonballs, you go in and get it!”   
“You were gathering them when I found you!” King Piccolo protested. “You would have had to go in anyway!”   
“Actually, if we came across water, I was going to make Chichi do the swimming.” Bulma argued. “But you’ve put her out of action, so now **you** have to go in.”   
“What, so you can fly away while I’m gone?” King Piccolo snarled. Bulma paused for a moment. Yeah… that was what she’d been planning to do… Damn.   
“Uh… I won’t, I promise.” Bulma nodded convincingly. “Go on. A tough guy like you – it’ll only take you a second.”   
“No.” King Piccolo growled. “You go.”   
“I already told you, I am _not_ – **hey**!” Bulma screamed as King Piccolo grabbed her. “Put me down!” She struggled and squirmed, desperately trying to break out of his grasp as he carried her out of the jet. King Piccolo ignored Bulma’s protests and dropped her down next to the lake.   
“Go on.” He ordered. “I won’t tell you again.”   
“Listen.” Bulma frowned. “This is pointless. You might as well give up now, because even if you do gather the dragonballs there’s no way Goku and Vegeta would let you summon the – **aii**!” She let out a loud scream as King Piccolo slapped her into the air, and Bulma went cascading down into the lake, head first.   
“You were saying?” King Piccolo smirked. He let out a satisfied sigh, and made his way back into the jet.

King Piccolo sat down and leaned against the wall, relaxing for a moment. Ah, that felt good… to bully someone, and make them do his bidding because he was more powerful than them. That Bulma was afraid of him, he knew it. He could sense it. She had a loud mouth, but they both knew that the Demon King Piccolo could kill her at any second – and that made her terrified of him. It was… _wonderful_. 

King Piccolo frowned suddenly, moving from his thoughts when he heard a noise. “Hm?” King Piccolo turned his head to see Chichi stirring. Was she coming round already? That was fast. Maybe she was stronger than he’d expected. King Piccolo watched as Chichi slowly opened her eyes and made sense of her surroundings… then she looked at him, and her faced become filled with rage.   
“You!” Chichi yelled, leaping onto her feet. “What have you done! Where are we!” She demanded. “Where’s Bulma!”   
“She went for a swim.” King Piccolo answered calmly. She was a little aggressive, wasn’t she? How did Goku live with her?   
“A swim? What the hell are you talking about!” Chichi barked, and her eyes suddenly widened. “Oh my God…” She whimpered, turning pale. “Did you… did you drown her?”   
“Drown her?” King Piccolo frowned. Oh, crap… He hadn’t checked – Bulma could swim, couldn’t she? Dammit… “Wait here.” King Piccolo muttered, and stood up angrily. Really, couldn’t these humans do anything right? They couldn’t even die at the right time!

King Piccolo was about to exit the jet to retrieve Bulma’s body, when a dragonball came flying at him. He caught it effortlessly, then looked up to see Bulma standing in the doorway of the jet, soaking wet and panting heavily.   
“Y… You…” She seethed. “You **bastard**!”  
“Bulma!” Chichi gasped, staring at her. “What happened!”   
“He threw me into the lake, that’s what!” Bulma yelled.   
“You did **what**!” Chichi screamed, turning to glare at King Piccolo. “What’s wrong with you!”   
“Oh, shut up.” King Piccolo snarled, sitting back down. Why did they have to make such a drama out of everything? “You’re alive, aren’t you?” He looked at Bulma, and smirked at the sight of her shivering. “Albeit, a little cold.”   
“My clothes are soaked!” Bulma hissed. He could have at least let her get changed first! Who the hell pushes someone into a lake fully clothed? She took a seat in the pilot’s chair and let out an angry sigh. “You’re buying me a new wardrobe.”   
“Fine.” King Piccolo sniggered. Of course, he would do that. Not that she would live long enough to make use of it…

He watched as Bulma took off her shirt and threw it over her seat.   
“Dammit… Do you have any idea how hard it is to take off wet jeans!” Bulma yelled, struggling to undress herself. After a lot of wrestling with her clothing she finally yanked off her jeans and threw them over her seat as well. King Piccolo’s eyes widened slightly as he stared at the now semi-naked woman in front of him. That was… unexpected. Hm. King Piccolo eyed her up and down. Well… she wasn’t bad, for a middle-aged human. She’d kept herself in relatively good shape, and her breasts were still rather firm… He’d seen better, though. He was definitely getting a younger woman to be his next sex slave.   
“Um… Bulma, what are you doing?” Chichi blinked.   
“What?” Bulma frowned. “He’s a namek, it’s not like he’s going to look. They’re not into this stuff.”   
“Ha.” King Piccolo smirked. How wrong she was. He was no ordinary namek!   
“But… he is.” Chichi said. “He has a girlfriend.”   
“He – he what!” Bulma cried, her eyes widening. Oh God… So had she just stripped to her underwear in front of a powerful demonic psychopath that was interested in women? _**Crap**_!  
“She’s not my girlfriend!” King Piccolo roared, glaring at Chichi. “I thought we’d made that perfectly clear last time!”   
“Oh, right. You were pretty adamant about that, weren’t you?” Chichi smirked. “But she was obviously into you… I just thought that maybe something would have happened by now.”   
“Well…” King Piccolo grunted. “We have sex. That doesn’t make her my girlfriend.”   
“What!” Bulma gasped, turning to face him. “You have a fuck buddy? Since when?”   
“Since none of your business, that’s when!” King Piccolo barked. “Go and get the next dragonball!”   
“Well – what’s she like?” Bulma asked.   
“Bulma – she’s the female version of _Frieza_.” Chichi gasped.   
“Frieza!” Bulma screeched, and stared at King Piccolo in astonishment. “You’re fucking Frieza?”   
“ _ **No**_!” King Piccolo roared. “I am not doing anything with Frieza, she’s completely different! And she’s going to die in a few days anyway so it doesn’t matter what I’m doing with her, I’m never going to see her again!”   
“Well why is she going to die?” Bulma questioned.   
“Because she –” King Piccolo stopped himself. Wait. Why was he even talking to these women? They had absolutely no right to ask about his private life! All they were permitted to do was keep their mouths shut and gather his dragonballs! “Because she can’t follow orders, that’s why!” King Piccolo snapped. “Now _**take me to the next dragonball**_!”   
“Okay, okay… Jeez.” Bulma sighed, turning back round. “Sorry. I didn’t know it was such a sensitive subject…”  
“It is **not** a sensitive subject!” King Piccolo screamed. This was unbearable. His eyes were almost popping out of his skull he was that angry. It was taking every bit of self-control he had to stop himself ripping the heads off these women. Why did they insist on talking about Frikiza? They didn’t even know her! “ _ **Just go**_!”   
“Okay.” Bulma said, holding back a smirk. “Whatever you say.” She put the jet back into gear, and started to fly them to the next dragonball. 

XXXXX

Back at Capsule Corps, Vegeta suddenly stopped in the middle of his training session with Trunks. All of a sudden he’d had the most disturbing feeling, like something was wrong…  
“Dad?” Trunks’ voice came from somewhere beside him. “What is it? Why have we stopped?”   
“… Trunks. Do you sense something?” Vegeta asked.   
“Um… no?” Trunks uttered, staring at his father in confusion. “Like what?”

Vegeta paused. What was it? He couldn’t sense any unfamiliar ki, but… it felt like something was happening. Something… dangerous.   
“… Stay here.” Vegeta ordered.   
“But Dad –” Trunks began, but his father had left the room before Trunks could utter another word. What was going on…?

Vegeta raced through the city and towards the wilderness, trying to identify the source of his uneasiness. What the hell was going on? Why did he feel so uncomfortable? It felt like someone was in danger… Bulma. Bulma, that was it! It had to be! She’d gone looking for the dragonballs – oh, what had that idiot woman done now? How many times had she collected the dragonballs in her life? Why was she still struggling! She could be anywhere… Vegeta couldn’t feel her ki; she obviously wasn’t nearby. Dammit! He could spend all day looking for her –   
“Vegeta.” Vegeta suddenly stopped at the sound of a familiar voice. He turned around to see Piccolo Junior staring at him.   
“What?” Vegeta barked.   
“What are you doing out here?” Piccolo asked.   
“What’s it got to do with you?” Vegeta demanded.   
“… Can you sense something is wrong?” Piccolo replied, looking at him. Vegeta hesitated a little. Yes… Yes, he could sense something, but how did Piccolo know? Could he sense it as well?   
“What is it?” Vegeta growled. “What’s going on?”   
“I’m not sure…” Piccolo mumbled. “I… have this feeling.” He paused, wondering if he should even mention it at all. It couldn’t be… It was impossible! “I think my father may be on Earth.”   
“Your father?” Vegeta repeated.   
“I can’t feel his energy.” Piccolo stated. “But…” No… No, it couldn’t be. Why would his father be here? Nobody had wished him back to life. And Frikiza wouldn’t have brought King Piccolo back unescorted, and certainly not without telling Piccolo Junior first. She knew what damage he could do, and she didn’t want any harm to come to Earth. Surely she wouldn’t risk letting him loose up here. … Then again, she had seemed a little too trusting… and it was her job to turn King Piccolo into a good spirit. What if she believed that he wouldn’t…? Oh, **hell**. What if Piccolo’s father was here? “Look – let’s split up.” Piccolo Junior said. “Whatever it is, something bad is going on – you sensed it as well, right?”   
“How can it be your father?” Vegeta demanded. “Isn’t he supposed to be dead?”   
“Yeah, he is.” Piccolo Junior growled. “Listen, just help me track down whatever this thing is before it gets out of hand – but Vegeta.” He looked at the saiyan sternly. “If it is my father, don’t kill him. I want to find out what the hell he’s doing back here.”   
“Fine.” Vegeta smirked, turning to leave. _“Better hope I don’t find him first!”_ He flew off before Piccolo Junior could speak another word, ready to kill the demon king if he so much as **looked** at his wife! 


	23. The Last Dragonball

_Shiver. Achoo_! King Piccolo gritted his teeth in annoyance at the sound of Bulma’s shivering, and he glared over at her.  
“What is wrong with you!” King Piccolo barked. “You have the heat on full blast and you’re still cold!”  
“Of course I am! That lake was freezing!” Bulma argued. “And in case you haven’t noticed, I’m not wearing anything!”  
“Oh, I noticed.” King Piccolo said with a nasty smirk. “It’s a shame you aren’t younger; you may have been more noticeable.”  
“ _ **What**_!” Bulma roared.  
“How rude!” Chichi frowned. “You know, it’s not easy to keep your figure once you’ve had a child!”  
“That’s right!” Bulma huffed. “And for your information, I’m – … wait.” She looked at Chichi. “What the hell do you mean, Chichi? My figure is better than **yours**!”  
“Is it not!” Chichi pouted. “I’ll have you know I’m the slimmest woman in our village, **and** I’ve had two children!”  
“Yeah, it shows.” Bulma sniped.  
“Shut up!”

King Piccolo watched in amusement as the two women started barking at each other. They certainly had confidence issues, didn’t they? Well… actually, they were slim enough, but both of them could do with toning themselves – especially Goku’s wife. She didn’t have much in the way of definition, and then there were those calloused hands of hers… And the blue-haired woman had wrinkles; maybe they weren’t visible to all those other poor-sighted humans, but King Piccolo’s namekian eyes could see that Bulma was certainly middle-aged – and no amount of make-up could hide that from **him**. Hmm. What a shame… In their younger days these two women would have been quite the visions. Still… why did they keep blaming their loss of looks on their children? Producing offspring had been a drain on King Piccolo, but only because he had to create that offspring himself, with his own energy. The human process was different, wasn’t it? They two didn’t look old because they had become mothers; they looked old because they were humans.   
“What does it matter how many children you’ve had?” King Piccolo frowned. “You are humans with weak bodies. Of course you’ve aged.”   
“Weak bodies!” Chichi yelled. “I’ll show you who has a weak body, you overgrown slug!” She started to march over to him, but was stopped dead in her tracks when a sudden swipe from King Piccolo knocked her to the floor. Chichi cried out, then glared up at him. “You – **aii**!” She yelped as King Piccolo clasped his hand around her face and started to crush her cheeks.   
“You were saying?” King Piccolo smirked. ‘Overgrown slug’? Bitch.   
“Hey! Let go of her!” Bulma screamed.   
“Oh, shut up! You were just arguing with her!” King Piccolo snarled.   
“Yeah but she’s still my friend!” Bulma snapped. “Let **go**!”

King Piccolo looked down at Chichi and watched as she struggled to pull herself out of his grasp. Tch. She was pathetic. She wasn’t even worth torturing. King Piccolo glared at Chichi and snorted disapprovingly, then released her from his grip. Chichi pulled herself away as quickly as she could and rubbed her cheeks, shooting King Piccolo a nasty glare.   
“Bastard.” She growled.   
“Old hag.” King Piccolo muttered.   
“ _ **Old hag**_!” Chichi roared and jumped onto her feet. She started to move towards him again when King Piccolo raised his hand at her, stopping her in her tracks. She looked at him hesitantly, then met his eyes.   
“Go on.” King Piccolo smirked. “I dare you.”   
“… Whatever.” Chichi pouted, and reluctantly sat back down. King Piccolo sniggered in amusement. Just as he’d thought. She was a coward. 

The three of them sat in awkward silence for a moment, until King Piccolo was once again distracted by Bulma’s shivering.   
“Stop it!” He barked. “Why are you so weak!”   
“Shut up!” Bulma argued. “I’m hardly wearing any clothes!”   
“Frikiza wears barely any clothes and she doesn’t get cold.” King Piccolo growled.   
“Who’s Frikiza?” Bulma frowned.   
“His girlfriend.” Chichi replied.   
“She’s not my girlfriend!” King Piccolo yelled.   
“Oh, right.” Bulma said with a smirk. “You mean the Frieza you’re fucking?”   
“ _ **She isn’t Frieza**_!” King Piccolo roared, his rage building. They were driving him crazy. What was wrong with these women? Did they want to die! He would gladly kill them. Oh, he would disembowel them!   
“So she never bothers you with shivering, huh?” Bulma grunted.   
“No.” King Piccolo snarled. “And she’s had a child and it hasn’t aged her, so don’t try to use your offspring as an excuse for becoming unattractive.”   
“Unattractive, huh?” Bulma snorted. “Compared to her?” She looked at him. “So… she still looks pretty good?”   
“Yes.” King Piccolo growled. “Flawless. She is nothing like you.”   
“Uh-huh.” Bulma uttered, and glanced at Chichi. “Well I’m sorry.” Bulma said with a smirk. “We can’t all be as perfect as _Frikiza_.”   
“Yeah, sorry we’re not as amazing as her.” Chichi sniggered, and the two women started to giggle.   
“What!” King Piccolo barked. Why were they laughing? They were laughing at him! “Are you mocking me!” He roared.   
“Of course not!” Bulma protested.   
“Just making an observation.” Chichi replied, and they started giggling again. King Piccolo tapped his claws against the floor in anger. Bitches… He’d had just about enough of this. They wouldn’t be laughing for long. Not when he had decapitated Goku’s wife –  
“Oh, hey!” Bulma exclaimed. “We’re here!”   
“Hm?” King Piccolo looked at her, and suddenly grew impatient. “Well, what are you waiting for!” He yelled. “Land this thing!”   
“Okay! Wait!” Bulma scolded, and let out a frustrated sigh.

XXXXX

Meanwhile, in Otherworld, Frikiza’s face was bright purple as she watched the scene.   
“He thinks I’m flawless…?” She uttered, looking down shyly.   
“What?” King Yemma blinked, and stared at her. “Frikiza – all he wants from you is your body, so of course he likes it.”   
“Yeah, but he never said it like that before…” Frikiza smiled. “He said he likes my body, but he never called me _flawless_ …”  
“So what?” Fortune-teller Baba scolded. “Just because he has a crush on you that doesn’t mean he’s not going to destroy Earth.”   
“You think he has a crush on me?” Frikiza gasped. Really? Did Piccolo really like her that much…?   
“Well… I don’t know.” Baba shrugged. “Maybe – but that doesn’t make him a good person!”   
“Oh, well… it means he could be good.” Frikiza replied, her heart skipping a beat as she thought about it. Piccolo having a crush on her… turning into a good person because of her… This was a dream come true! “It’s a start!” Frikiza exclaimed. “This is what I’ve been telling you guys! Piccolo _can_ be good!”   
“That doesn’t mean he will be.” King Yemma grunted.   
“I know, but please just give him a chance!” Frikiza pleaded. “Something good will come from all this, I just know it.”   
“Hm.” Baba sneered, not convinced. “Just remember Frikiza, if he does something bad, I’m getting your hot tub.”   
“Yeah, that’s fine…” Frikiza nodded, turning back to the TV. “… I can’t believe he called me flawless!” She squealed and turned bright purple again, causing King Yemma and Fortune-teller Baba to fall over. 

XXXXX

Back on Earth, King Piccolo watched impatiently as Bulma and Chichi searched for the dragonball. What was taking them so long? She said she’d found it!   
“Where is it!” King Piccolo demanded.   
“I don’t know, it says it’s around here…” Bulma mumbled, fiddling with the dragon radar. She looked around; they were at the bottom of a mountain with nothing but rocks and bushes around them, and had been looking for twenty minutes already.   
“Maybe it’s broken?” Chichi suggested.   
“No – it can’t be. It found the others okay.” Bulma frowned. She started to look around again. “It must be under a rock or something. Maybe we just missed it –” She stopped suddenly when a large shadow swooped over her, and Bulma looked up. “… Oh wow.” She uttered. “It’s… up there.”

King Piccolo and Chichi followed her gaze up the mountain, until their eyes finally settled on a gathering of branches, on top of which was a giant bird’s nest, and the owner of the shadow… a pterodactyl.   
“What!” Chichi gasped. “You mean he has the dragonball?”   
“Well… I can’t see it.” Bulma admitted, staring up at the nest. “But it must be there – we’ve looked everywhere else.”

King Piccolo studied the nest. He could see much clearer than the women; he could see a large egg through the branches of the nest, and something sparkling… Yes. That was it. It was his dragonball!   
“It’s there.” King Piccolo stated, and smirked down at the women. “Your eyes are terrible.”   
“Shut up!” Bulma frowned. “What’s the point in seeing it anyway? I have no idea how to get to it! If I fly the jet anywhere near her egg she’ll attack –”  
“Don’t worry.” King Piccolo said, interrupting her. He looked down at Bulma and smirked arrogantly. “This one’s on me.” 

Bulma and Chichi watched as King Piccolo flew up to the nest and slowly reached out towards the dragonball.   
“No…” Bulma whimpered. “It’s going to attack!”   
“Don’t worry, he’ll be fine.” Chichi growled. “I **hope** it attacks.”   
“Yeah but what if it comes after us!” Bulma gasped.   
“Oh…” Chichi mumbled, suddenly following her logic. Damn. They both tensed up as they watched the pterodactyl raise its wings and squawk aggressively at King Piccolo, but he simply clasped his hand around its beak, sealing it shut, and threw the dragonball into his mouth before he released the dinosaur and effortlessly glided back down to Bulma and Chichi. King Piccolo looked at them, and sniggered at the shocked expressions on their faces.   
“What?” He snorted. “Did you think I could be harmed by a mere animal? Don’t be fools.” He turned round and headed back into the jet. “Come on.”

Bulma waited until King Piccolo was inside the jet, and looked at Chichi.   
“Actually… I’m kind of surprised how calm he was.” She blinked.   
“Yeah, that dinosaur didn’t really seem afraid…” Chichi mumbled. “I thought he would have killed her.”   
“I was expecting him to just shoot the nest down.” Bulma shrugged. “Hey…” She looked at Chichi. “How did he even get a girlfriend anyway? Wasn’t he supposed to be in hell?”   
“Yeah, but she was his counsellor. She was supposed to be turning him into a good person.” Chichi explained. She folded her arms and grunted stubbornly. “Not that it worked.”   
“Well… Chichi, I think it might have done.” Bulma replied. “I mean – he did just choose not to kill something, right?”   
“Uh…” Chichi blinked. Wow… Bulma had a point there. That monster had just gone out of his way to get that dragonball, when he could have just destroyed the nest and caught it as it fell down… Could he… could he have really…?   
“ _ **Shut up**_!” King Piccolo’s booming voice came from behind them.

The women turned round to see King Piccolo glaring at them, his face filled with rage after hearing every word. “You… You think I’ve gone soft?” He seethed. “You want me to kill it? Fine! Have it your way!”   
“ _ **No**_!” The women screamed as King Piccolo raised his hand towards the nest and fired a ki blast right into it, causing both the pterodactyl and her egg to go flying into the air. King Piccolo smirked evilly as he watched the pterodactyl scream, her eyes widening in horror as she watched her egg falling towards the ground.   
“Oh my God!” Bulma cried.   
“No!” Chichi gasped, and leapt up into the air. She managed to catch the egg just in time, and landed with it safely in her arms.   
“Phew.” Bulma sighed, closing her eyes in relief. “Good work, Chichi.”   
“Tch.” King Piccolo grunted disapprovingly. How pathetic. It wasn’t even her egg! “Such weaklings. You should have let it smash.”   
“How can you say that!” Chichi barked. “Your children are born from eggs too!”   
“My eggs wouldn’t smash.” King Piccolo smirked. “And even if they did, it would be all they deserved for being too weak to survive.”   
“You’re a monster.” Chichi hissed.   
“Point proven.” King Piccolo winked, a look of satisfaction sweeping across his face. “Now. **Come**.” He turned back towards the jet, and the two women followed him inside. 

Bulma glared at King Piccolo as she sat down. What a bastard… and he was smirking! He was so proud of himself. Well… He wouldn’t be soon, when Vegeta found him. Where the hell was Vegeta anyway? He’d better come to her rescue soon! Couldn’t he sense that she was in danger? The jerk. “What are you waiting for?” King Piccolo growled, glaring at Bulma impatiently. “Take me to the next one.”

Bulma hesitated. The next dragonball was the last one… Dammit. She’d hoped Vegeta would have come by now… What if they got the last dragonball before Vegeta found them…? There was nothing else she could do; she would have to fake its location. But what if he saw the dragon radar…? He’d kill her for lying to him! Unless she could tamper with it. All she had to do was make it look like the dragonball was somewhere it wasn’t. Okay… she could do that. “Hey!” King Piccolo barked. “I will **not** ask you again. You aren’t the only one that can use that device, and you aren’t my only bargaining chip. So if I were you, I would go to that dragonball **now**.”   
“Sorry.” Bulma replied. She grabbed hold of the dragon radar and stared at it. Okay… here goes nothing. “I was just thinking, I think this needs adjusting.”   
“Adjust it?” King Piccolo frowned. “What do you mean? It’s working perfectly.”   
“No, it’s not.” Bulma replied, shaking her head. “If it was working then it would have told me the dragonball was above ground. I think I need to recalibrate it.” Bulma held her breath, and awaited his reply. Please buy it… please.   
“Don’t bother, it doesn’t need to be that accurate.” King Piccolo grunted, causing Bulma’s heart to sink. “This is the last one, so just take me to it!”   
“Okay…” Bulma mumbled. Dammit… She couldn’t risk tampering with the radar in front of him; he would know she was up to something. It was no use… She’d just have to buy Vegeta some time, somehow. Bulma looked down at the radar, and the location of the final dragonball. Okay… it was in a city. That was good. It would be harder to find in the city – maybe that would give him enough time… _“Vegeta…”_ Bulma silently begged. _“Hurry up!”_

Bulma glanced at Chichi, who stared back with a worried expression on her face. She was thinking the exact same thing, Bulma could tell. As soon as they found this dragonball, they were as good as dead. Crap… Bulma reluctantly started up the engine, and headed for the final dragonball. 

XXXXX

_“Hurry up!”_ Vegeta froze when he heard Bulma’s voice echoing through his mind. Bulma…   
“Bulma!” He roared, racing through the wilderness. _“Bulma, where are you!”_ She had to be around here somewhere. He could just about feel her ki; it was faint but… **fuck**! Now it had gone! Why was she moving away from him! _**“Bulma!”**_ Vegeta silently screamed, but he got no response. He couldn’t see her or sense her or feel her… dammit! Where the hell had that bastard taken her? That namek was dead! **Dead**! No amount of regeneration would fix what Vegeta was going to do to that alien freak! Vegeta was going to vaporise him! He was going to wipe every last trace of him from existence! Vegeta’s ki exploded as he turned super saiyan and he bolted through the air, his eyes filled with rage. It wouldn’t be long now… Vegeta could cover the entire planet in just a couple of hours. Soon enough, he would send King Piccolo to hell.

XXXXX

Bulma sat nervously as she piloted the jet, desperately trying to think of a way she could alter the dragon radar without King Piccolo noticing. Dammit… Dammit!   
_“Think, Bulma!”_ She scolded herself. There must be a way. There **had** to be a way to – huh? Bulma frowned in confusion when she suddenly felt warm. What the hell? She looked down to see that she was suddenly fully clothed. What? How had that happened?   
“Perhaps now you could stop shivering?” King Piccolo growled from behind her. What? Had he done this…? Bulma turned around to look at him, her eyes widening.   
“You… gave me clothes?” She uttered.   
“Will you stop it now?” King Piccolo demanded. “It’s irritating.”   
“… I’ll try.” Bulma mumbled. Wow… 

Bulma looked down at her clothing. It looked like a martial arts gi… It wasn’t really her taste, but it sure was warm! He didn’t seem like the generous type… “Thanks.”   
“Shut up!” King Piccolo snapped. “I didn’t do it for you! Your shivering was pissing me off!”   
“Okay.” Bulma replied, holding back a smirk. She looked at Chichi, who stared back with a confused expression on her face. Yeah, ditto. 

Chichi’s expression quickly changed when she caught a glimpse of the demon symbol on Bulma’s back.   
“Oh my God!” Chichi gasped. “Bulma – he put his own mark on you!”   
“What!” Bulma cried out, leaping up.   
“ **Hey**!” King Piccolo roared as the jet began to plummet downwards.   
“Crap!” Bulma yelped and grabbed hold of the controls, stabilising their flight. She flicked the jet into autopilot and attempted to look at the back of her clothing. “Okay – what the hell have you done!” She yelled. “Vegeta’s gonna flip if he sees this!”   
“Don’t worry.” King Piccolo smirked. “He’ll be dead shortly after.”   
“I’m serious! What the hell is wrong with you!” Bulma barked. “I don’t want to be part of the demon club!”   
“Well if you want to take it off, be my guest.” King Piccolo shrugged, and looked at her tauntingly. “But when I own the world, you will **have** to wear that if you want to be my servant.”   
“I don’t want to be your servant!” Bulma yelled.   
“Well then you’ll die.” King Piccolo answered bluntly. “Along with your husband.” He looked at Chichi, and smirked. “And yours.”   
“Like hell he will!” Chichi snarled. “Listen – you are **not** taking over the world! Goku won’t let you!”   
“Goku isn’t here.” King Piccolo sneered. “He’s on another planet.”   
“What!” Chichi gasped. “How… How do you know that?”   
“I heard you.” King Piccolo said. He looked at her, his eyes twinkling sinisterly as he relished in her horror. “So why don’t you stop pretending? We both know your hero Goku isn’t coming to save you. He doesn’t even know you’re in danger.”   
“Yes he does!” Chichi argued. “King Kai would have told him!”   
“Oh?” King Piccolo taunted. “So why isn’t he here?”   
“… **Shut up**!” Chichi screamed, and threw herself at King Piccolo. “He’ll come! Just you wait! He’s on his way over here right now, and when he gets here he’s going to tear you apart!” She yelled at him whilst hurling a torrent of kicks and punches at King Piccolo, all of which were easily avoided by the demon king. “You…” Chichi panted breathlessly, unwilling to give up. “Monster!” She threw her arm out and grabbed King Piccolo’s antennae, causing him to howl in pain.   
“Get off me!” He screamed.   
“No!” Chichi yelled, tugging on his antennae as hard as she possibly could.   
“I’m **warning** you!” King Piccolo snarled, clenching his fists in agony as a sharp, white pain flooded his skull.   
“Chichi, what the hell are you doing!” Bulma cried. “Let go of him, he’s going to kill you!”   
“No he won’t!” Chichi argued. “He needs us!”   
“He needs **one** of us!” Bulma protested. “This is suicide!” 

King Piccolo glared at Chichi.   
“I would listen to your friend if I were you.” He hissed. “Get – _**agghhhh**_!” He screamed in agony when Chichi moved her face to his antennae and bit down on them, almost cutting his antennae in half. “ _ **You bitch**_!” King Piccolo threw out his arm and clasped it around Chichi’s throat. Her eyes widened as he ripped her away from him, taking his own antennae with her. He held her up by her throat and started to tighten his grip, watching as Chichi began fighting for breath.   
“Let her go!” Bulma screamed. “Please – she didn’t mean it! Let her go!”   
“Chichi…” King Piccolo snarled, glaring at the woman. He groaned slightly as he regenerated his antennae, and smirked as Chichi tried desperately to pull herself out of his grasp. “You should have listened to your friend.” King Piccolo said. He tightened his grip, ignoring Bulma’s screaming as Chichi slowly suffocated in front of him. Any minute now… It was too bad Goku wasn’t here to see this. King Piccolo had wanted to kill Goku’s wife in front of him, but he couldn’t let these women get away with any more attitude. She would be an example to her friend – evidence of what would happen if Bulma didn’t do **exactly** what he said. Any second now. Slowly… slowly… –  
_“Father! Whatever you’re doing, **stop it**!”_ What the hell? King Piccolo frowned. That was Junior’s voice in his head. How did Junior know he was here? … **Shit**! That bitch Frikiza! She’d told him! Why did she **always** have to intervene! Why couldn’t he just go a single day without her! Why didn’t she die already!   
_“Shut up, Junior.”_ King Piccolo spoke back to his son telepathically. _“Either join me or stay away.”_  
_“Father, where are you?”_ Oh… He didn’t know where they were? King Piccolo smirked. Wonderful. Even Junior couldn’t stop him now. _“Father, please! Stop what you’re doing!”_  
_“I’m killing Goku’s wife.”_ King Piccolo replied. _“Did you want to watch?”_  
_“What? **No**! Stop! Please!”_ Hm… Junior really was attached to that family, wasn’t he? The worthless little traitor. Tch. Well… King Piccolo would show him. If he was so attached to that family, he could watch them die. 

King Piccolo looked at Chichi, and smirked.   
“Change of plan.” He said, loosening his grip on her. “I’m going to wait for my son to arrive before I kill you. Then maybe he’ll start doing what he’s told.” He dropped Chichi to the floor, and watched as she breathed great lungfuls of air, desperately trying to catch her breath. _“Okay, Junior. I let her go. I’ll let you know when I’m invincible, then you can come and watch me kill her.”_  
_“Thank you.”_ Piccolo Junior replied bluntly. _“Where are you? Where is Frikiza?”_  
_“She’s not here!”_ King Piccolo barked. _“Why the hell does everyone keep mentioning Frikiza! I don’t care about her!”_  
_“I never said you did –”_  
_“Shut up, Junior!”_ King Piccolo snapped. _“Just think about whose side you want to be on, because that will determine how long you live!”_ He snarled angrily and blocked Piccolo Junior out of his mind. Tch. Little brat. He didn’t even know Frikiza! Why was he asking about her? Why was King Piccolo the only one **not** obsessed with Frikiza?

XXXXX

Meanwhile, on the other side of the wilderness, Piccolo Junior was trying to get back in touch with his father.   
_“Father! Father, answer me!”_ He demanded, but it was no good. King Piccolo was ignoring him. Just because Piccolo Junior had mentioned Frikiza? Was there something going on between those two…? _“Ew! No way!”_ Piccolo Junior thought to himself, and shivered in disgust. Whatever… He had to find him. This was worse than Piccolo Junior had thought – he’d had no idea his father had kidnapped Chichi! Why the hell wasn’t Goku here? And wherever King Piccolo was, he was far away; Piccolo Junior couldn’t sense his ki. Unless he was supressing it… Shit! _“Vegeta!”_ Piccolo Junior called out. No answer… He couldn’t feel Vegeta’s ki nearby either. **Dammit**! Where the hell was everybody! He had to tell Gohan… Piccolo Junior had hoped to find his father on his own, but if he’d taken Chichi, and possibly Vegeta’s wife, there had to be as many people as possible looking for him before he did something terrible. Piccolo Junior turned, and raced towards Gohan’s house, desperately hoping that Gohan was home.


	24. King Piccolo's Wish

There was an awkward silence on Bulma’s jet as she piloted herself, Chichi and King Piccolo towards the final dragonball. Bulma looked at Chichi, finally thinking of something to break the silence.  
“Hey Chichi, did I tell you about my neighbour?” She said. “He got married.”  
“Really?” Chichi uttered. “The one with the foreign girlfriend?”  
“Yeah, that’s him.” Bulma nodded.  
“I didn’t know they were that serious.” Chichi gasped.  
“Well, they started living together about a month ago.” Bulma said.  
“Oh really? I didn’t know.” Chichi replied. “Did you go to the wedding?”  
“Yeah, I went to the evening reception – it was really nice, actually. Everybody got along pretty well so the atmosphere was good.” Bulma explained. “And her parents stayed for a few days, so that was nice for her to see them.”  
“Oh, that’s nice.” Chichi smiled.

Meanwhile, King Piccolo’s entire body tensed and he gritted his teeth in frustration. What were they wittering on about now? This was drivel!   
“Oh – and hey, she had her dress made by the same designer as me.” Bulma said. “And she was at the wedding.”   
“Did she see you?” Chichi asked.   
“Yeah, but we didn’t talk much. Just kind of a hello, you know?”   
“Yeah, well I guess you wouldn’t have that much to talk about –”  
“ **Silence**!” King Piccolo roared, glaring at the two women. “I don’t want to listen to this crap!”   
“What!” Bulma protested. “What is wrong with you! In about thirty minutes you’re going to rule over the entire planet, and you can’t let us have one last gossip?”   
“Hm…” King Piccolo mused, smirking a little as he thought about the dream that was fast becoming his reality. There was no stopping him now, was there? Even this woman knew it. There was only one dragonball left, and King Piccolo was on his way to get it right now. Very soon this entire planet would be his, and nobody could stop him doing whatever he wanted with it. Nobody would ever stand in his way again! Yes, it was beautiful… … Very well. Seeing as these women would be dead soon, along with their entire families… One last trivial conversation wasn’t too much to ask for, was it? After all… he wasn’t a _complete_ bastard. “Fine.” King Piccolo smirked wickedly. “You may proceed.”   
“Thanks.” Bulma growled, rolling her eyes.

She turned back to Chichi. “Anyway – to be honest, I don’t think they are that serious, but she was going to get deported.”   
“So she’s only married him for a visa?” Chichi gasped.   
“Yeah, that’s what I think.” Bulma nodded. “I mean, they _are_ a real couple, but I don’t think they were ready to get married yet.”   
“Well… I guess if they like each other, it’ll work out.” Chichi shrugged.   
“Yeah, I hope so.” Bulma replied.   
“What the hell are you talking about?” King Piccolo snarled in frustration. “What’s a visa?”   
“It’s something that lets you stay in a country you weren’t born in.” Bulma answered. “That’s why my neighbour got married – his girlfriend’s visa ran out, so she had to marry him otherwise she was going to get sent home.”   
“Why does she have to marry him?” King Piccolo frowned.   
“Because if you marry someone that was born in that country, you kind of become a citizen by default.” Bulma answered. “But… you have to prove you were in a relationship.” She looked back at Chichi. “The visa people came and took a statement from me, and my neighbour was telling me he had to send off all these photos and testimonies from people…”  
“Do you think that’s why they started living together?” Chichi questioned.   
“Yeah, maybe. They _are_ in a real relationship though, everyone knows it.” Bulma said. “And I guess the more people that know it the better.”   
“Tch. Sounds like too much effort.” King Piccolo grunted. “How can anyone want to live in a place so badly? What is so good about being **your** neighbour?”   
“For your information, it might not be that.” Bulma frowned. “Maybe she just doesn’t want to live wherever she came from.” She smirked slightly. “Although… I think living next door to me would be worth getting married for.”   
“Shut up.” King Piccolo spat.

He looked away, and fell silent. Hm… Now that he thought of it, would that work for Frikiza? If she married someone from this universe, would she still need to go home? Perhaps she would be permitted to stay here indefinitely, if she became his wife… **No**! King Piccolo almost slapped himself. What was he thinking! That was **not** happening! No way! He would rather let Frikiza die than marry her; they weren’t even in a relationship!   
“Hey Chichi,” Bulma smirked. “Do you ever think, if Planet Vegeta hadn’t been destroyed, maybe we could live there? We did marry saiyans, after all.”   
“Would you **want** to live there?” Chichi frowned. “That place sounds like it was dangerous – all everyone does is fight. It’s no place to bring up a family.”   
“Yeah… you know, I’d never tell Vegeta, but it does sound like a terrible place to live.” Bulma replied. “And I bet the fashion would be **awful** , and they wouldn’t have any decent jewellery stores.”   
“And I doubt the schools would be up to much…” Chichi sighed worriedly. “Goten and Trunks would become delinquents, and Gohan would be forced to work as a warrior!”   
“And you know, as aliens we’d be spoken to like dirt.” Bulma frowned. “We’d just be slaves to them.”   
“Well, you might be okay. You’d be married to the prince, so all the other saiyans would have to respect you.” Chichi reasoned.   
“Tch. You know, I kind of think that if we ever moved to Planet Vegeta, it’d take like a month before Vegeta got himself a saiyan wife.” Bulma growled. “And she’d be a total tramp!”   
“No… I don’t think he’d do that.” Chichi smiled. “Vegeta’s difficult Bulma, but he is loyal. I think deep down he really cares about you.”   
“Aww… You think so?” Bulma smiled back, her eyes glistening. “Thanks, Chichi… That’s so sweet.”   
“Shut up!” King Piccolo barked, sickened by their emotions. Why were they talking like that? Weren’t they interested in anything except relationships! “I’ve changed my mind! You two are to sit in silence – I don’t want to listen to any more of this crap!”   
“Whatever.” Bulma pouted. “You’re just jealous because nobody loves you.”   
“Hmph.” King Piccolo snorted. “Well that’s where you’re wrong, you stupid little witch. Frikiza loves me.”   
“What!” The women gasped, their eyes widening.   
“She… she loves you?” Chichi choked. “Did she… say that?”   
“Of course she did, how else would I know!” King Piccolo snapped. “But what does it matter? I don’t love her! I don’t even care about her!” He folded his arms stubbornly and snorted. “Her feelings are wasted on me – which is exactly what I told her.”   
“Oh my God – you **told** her that?” Bulma cried. “What is wrong with you! That’s like the worst thing you can say to a girl that loves you! You totally broke her heart!”   
“Good.” King Piccolo replied, smirking triumphantly. “I like breaking things.”

He looked at the women’s faces. They looked horrified. Tch. Pathetic. Why were they so emotional? Why did they even care? They didn’t know Frikiza! What, did they feel sorry for her? Disgusting.   
“I don’t know what she sees in you.” Chichi snarled.   
“I could say the same about Goku.” King Piccolo sniped, then smirked. “But then again, he _is_ letting you die.”   
“ **Shut up**!” Chichi screamed. “He’s coming! And when he gets here you’d better pray that he gives you a second chance!”   
“Whatever you say.” King Piccolo sniggered, relishing in Chichi’s agony. She was so delusional… 

XXXXX

“He’s **what**!” Gohan screamed, staring at Piccolo Junior with wide eyes. They were in Gohan’s house, and Piccolo Junior had just informed him of the hostage situation with Chichi. “How – how could you let this happen!” Gohan yelled, infuriated.   
“I didn’t!” Piccolo Junior cried. “I didn’t even know he was being brought back to Earth – Frikiza must have done it.”   
“I thought she was on our side!” Gohan protested.   
“Look – Gohan, I don’t know what’s going on, all I know that he has your mother and he’s close to having all of the dragonballs, so we need to find him.” Piccolo Junior said. “Where’s your father?”   
“He’s on King Kai’s planet…” Gohan replied. “I don’t get it – King Kai must know what’s going on down here, so why hasn’t my dad come?”   
“I don’t know…” Piccolo Junior mumbled. This didn’t make any sense… It was as if King Kai was letting King Piccolo gather the dragonballs. Why would he do that? No… That couldn’t be right. It was ridiculous. “… Whatever.” Piccolo Junior grunted, dismissing the thought. “We don’t have time to figure it out – let’s just find him, okay?”   
“Okay.” Gohan nodded. “Let’s go.” He raced out of the house, followed by Piccolo Junior. 

XXXXX

Meanwhile, Bulma returned her jet to capsule form after she, Chichi and King Piccolo had landed in West City.   
“Okay…” Bulma uttered, zooming in on the dragon radar. The dragonball was on the other side of the city; she had deliberately landed away from it to buy Vegeta more time. She could only hope it was enough. If Vegeta didn’t get here before they found the dragonball… Bulma could hardly bear to think about it. It would be the end of the world. Not even Goku would be able to stop it… Shit! She had to stall King Piccolo for as long as possible. Maybe she could find the dragonball before he did. Bulma zoomed back out on the radar, and looked at Chichi and King Piccolo. “Maybe we should split up?” Bulma suggested, praying that King Piccolo would agree. If she could just get away from him long enough to find the last dragonball…  
“Ha. Nice try.” King Piccolo smirked. “You girls aren’t going anywhere. Now give that to me!” He swiped the dragon radar from Bulma’s hands, causing her eyes to widen. Oh no… “Hm.” King Piccolo grunted, studying the radar. “How do you zoom in?”   
“Um…” Bulma uttered, glancing at Chichi worriedly. “You –”  
“Never mind.” King Piccolo said as he figured it out himself. 

Bulma’s heart stopped as King Piccolo studied the radar. Oh God… He looked angry… Had he realised she’d taken them to the wrong place? Crap! King Piccolo looked at Bulma, and glared at her. “You stupid bitch.” He snarled. “We’re on the wrong side of the city! We’re nowhere near the dragonball!” He narrowed his eyes at Bulma and uttered a low growl, his anger burning so fiercely Bulma could feel it against her skin. “You didn’t know that, did you…?” King Piccolo seethed. “This wasn’t some kind of trick, was it?” He stared at her fiercely, his fingers curling as he readied himself to slice open Bulma’s throat.   
“Um…” Bulma whimpered, trembling slightly. “No, I –”  
“Oh, give her a break!” Chichi huffed at King Piccolo. “Where do you get off calling _her_ stupid? She knows this city better than you do – and she knows this is the only place she could land a jet that size! We’re not in the wilderness now, you know!”   
“… Hm.” King Piccolo grunted, seeming to believe her. Well… Bulma was a smart woman. She wouldn’t be foolish enough to try and trick _him_ , would she? Although… she did seem to be lacking in common sense. 

Bulma breathed a sigh of relief, and looked at Chichi thankfully. “Well then,” King Piccolo growled, glaring at Bulma. “If you know this city so well, you really are stupid. Why didn’t you land on top of a building, you fool!”   
“How are we supposed to get down?” Bulma protested. “We can’t fly!”   
“ _ **I can**_!” King Piccolo roared. “I could have carried you.”   
“… Well, I didn’t think of that.” Bulma replied.   
“Tch!” King Piccolo grunted in annoyance. Unbelievable. She was supposed to be a scientist wasn’t she? She was a moron! “Whatever.” King Piccolo snarled. “Come on.” The two women cried out as King Piccolo scooped them up into one arm, and flew off towards the dragonball.

It only took him a minute to reach the other side of the city, and King Piccolo callously dropped the women to the ground, smirking slightly at the loud thud they made as they landed.   
“Ow!” The women cried out, and glared at him.   
“Are you this rough with Frikiza?” Bulma snapped.   
“Rougher.” King Piccolo replied with a wink, causing Bulma to go wide-eyed and blush slightly. “Alright.” King Piccolo said, looking at the women. “This is what’s going to happen. I’m going to start vaporising buildings, and you two are going to look through the rubble.”   
“ _ **What**_!” The women screamed.   
“What the hell are you talking about! There are thousands of people here!” Bulma yelled.   
“That’s why I said _vaporise_.” King Piccolo smirked. “So their corpses won’t get in your way.”   
“No!” Chichi cried. “I’m not doing that! And neither are you!” She glared at him. “Look. Just give up already. Why do you even want to take over the world? You have a girlfriend now, and your son is a good person – why can’t you just be happy living a **normal** life –” She was abruptly cut off by King Piccolo’s hand clasping around her throat.   
“How many times do I need to tell you…?” King Piccolo hissed, tightening his grip. “Frikiza is not my girlfriend.” He snarled. “And let me make one thing clear about my son – as long as he is a ‘good person’, he is useless to me. I will give him one chance – **one** chance to join me, and if he decides to side with you worthless creatures, then he will die along with the rest of you. _**Do you understand**_!”  
“Y…” Chichi choked, unable to answer him properly. King Piccolo grunted.   
“I’ll take that as a yes.” He growled, and released her. “Now.” King Piccolo glared at the women. “You will do as I say, otherwise I will kill –”  
“Hey!” A familiar voice stopped him.

King Piccolo looked up to see a woman approaching him. He recognise her… Oh, right. He remembered now. She was the owner of that hotel he and Frikiza had stayed in. What did she want? “I thought it was you!” The woman beamed as she approached King Piccolo. She stopped and looked at Bulma and Chichi. “Um…” She looked up at King Piccolo. “So… I guess these aren’t your girlfriend either, right?”   
“No!” King Piccolo snarled. “Certainly not! They work for me!”   
“Oh…” The woman uttered. “… Are you a pimp?”   
“ **What**!” Bulma and Chichi screamed, insulted.   
“You think we look like prostitutes?” Bulma cried, her face filling with rage. “I’m the heir to Capsule Corporations, you little bitch!”   
“Yeah, and my son is engaged to Hercule Satan’s daughter!” Chichi yelled.   
“Oh… sorry.” The hotel owner replied. “Anyway,” She looked up at King Piccolo and smiled. “Are you hungry?”   
“What?” King Piccolo blinked.   
“Well… you’re just in time.” The woman put her hand into her bag, and pulled out the final dragonball. “I just found it – I was going to put it on display again, but you can eat it if you want.”

Bulma and Chichi’s eyes widened in horror as they stared at the dragonball in her hand.   
“Oh my God…” Bulma choked. “No!” She cried. “Don’t give it to him –” She let out a gasp as she watched the hotel owner hand the dragonball over to King Piccolo, smiling.   
“No…” Chichi whimpered, staring at the woman. “You have no idea what you’ve done! He’s going to use it to kill us all!”   
“What?” The woman gasped. “Is it a bomb?”   
“No.” King Piccolo grinned. “Ignore them. Thank you!”   
“You’re welcome.” The woman smiled. “Well, I have to get back to the hotel. Have a good day! Oh…” She looked across the three of them. “And… if you make any new friends, I’m opening up a new honeymoon suite –”  
“ _ **They aren’t my girlfriends**_!” King Piccolo roared. “Get out of here!”   
“Okay!” The woman yelped. “Sorry!” She smiled at the three of them, and darted away. 

King Piccolo turned to Bulma and Chichi, and grinned.   
“That was lucky, wasn’t it?” He beamed. It was lucky… almost too good to be true! King Piccolo could hardly believe that had just happened. It was as if the universe wanted to summon the dragon! It was a sign – a sign that the Earth belonged to **him** , the great Demon King Piccolo! Nobody could stop him now!   
“Please…” Bulma pleaded, interrupting King Piccolo’s internal glee. “You don’t have to destroy the Earth. You’re a namek! Your people created the dragonballs for good! Don’t you want to honour them by not abusing the – **aii**!” She yelped as King Piccolo smacked her across the face, bruising her cheek.   
“Shut up!” He snarled. Bitch. How dare she kill the mood! Just for that, she would be the last to die – she would have to watch as King Piccolo disembowelled everyone she knew. “Come.” King Piccolo ordered. “Let’s summon the dragon.” He grabbed hold of Bulma and Chichi, and flew off towards the wilderness. 

XXXXX 

Over in Otherworld, King Yemma and Fortune-teller Baba watched nervously as King Piccolo landed in an open clearing and threw the women to the ground.   
“Frikiza… He doesn’t look like somebody that’s about to wish for something good.” Baba said.   
“That’s because he won’t!” King Yemma growled, and glared at Frikiza. “You have to go over there.”   
“Yemma, don’t worry.” Frikiza replied. “Even if he does wish for something bad, it won’t be a problem, right?”   
“How can you be so sure?” King Yemma argued. “What if we’re wrong?”   
“Trust me.” Frikiza nodded. “Please… just let me see his wishes. As soon as he wishes for something bad, I’ll get him, I promise.”   
“Well… he’ll use one to revive himself.” Baba began. “And another to bring back his children – so you can go as soon as he wishes for anything else.”   
“I will.” Frikiza nodded, and looked at King Yemma. “Okay?”   
“… Fine.” King Yemma grunted. “But if he destroys Earth, **you’re** dealing with the spirits!”   
“Okay…” Frikiza mumbled.

XXXXX

Back on Earth, King Piccolo set the two women down and started to gag.   
“Please!” Bulma pleaded. “Don’t do this – … what’s wrong?” She blinked at his gagging, then almost threw up as King Piccolo spat out the remaining six dragonballs into his hand. “Ew! Gross!”   
“Shut up!” King Piccolo barked. “I’ve had enough of your mouth.” He tossed the dragonballs to the floor, then threw his hand towards the women.

Bulma and Chichi cried out as King Piccolo used his energy to yank their arms and legs together, restraining them. They fell to the ground and started writhing desperately, struggling to break free of the restraints. King Piccolo sniggered as he watched them. Worms. That was all they were, and soon they would die like worms.   
“You bastard!” Chichi screamed. “You won’t get your wishes! Goku will come before you can even say them, and he’ll kill you!”   
“Do you really believe that?” King Piccolo sneered. “Don’t you think he would have come by now?” He approached Chichi, and smirked down at her. “Sorry.” He channelled a little of his energy again, and the two women suddenly found themselves gagged with balls of clothing. They choked and spluttered, trying to cough out their gags, but to no avail. Ahh. King Piccolo smirked. Perfect. The last thing he wanted was for these two to make their own wishes in his place! There was no way he was allowing them to speak, and if gagging them didn’t work then he would tear out their voices boxes! King Piccolo snorted at the women, then he approached the dragonballs and called, “Eternal dragon, come forth!”

XXXXX

Elsewhere on Earth, Gohan and Piccolo Junior stopped dead in mid-air when the sky suddenly turned dark.   
“Oh no…” Gohan gasped, his eyes widening. “We’re too late!”   
“We can still find him!” Piccolo Junior insisted. “He’s not made his wishes yet – **come on**!” He bolted through the air, followed by Gohan. _“Father, where the hell are you! Do not do anything you’ll regret!”_  
_“I wasn’t planning to.”_ King Piccolo replied tauntingly.

On the other side of the wildness King Piccolo smirked as he listened to his son’s pleading. It was pathetic. Was Junior really going to side with those Earthlings? What was the point? They were as good as dead; there was no way anybody could stop King Piccolo now. Junior wouldn’t be able to find him in time; King Piccolo was still supressing his ki, and he would continue to supress it until **all** of his wishes had been granted. He wasn’t taking any chances this time!

King Piccolo stared up, his eyes glowing in delight as the eternal dragon appeared before him, and he eagerly listened as it spoke.   
“Who has awoken me? I will grant you three wishes.” The dragon uttered.   
“ **Nrrgh**!” Bulma attempted to scream. King Piccolo looked over at Bulma, and growled at her sternly.   
“Shut up!” He hissed. He looked up at the dragon and yelled, “I want you to restore me to life permanently!”   
“Very well.” The dragon replied. 

King Piccolo gasped as an overwhelming warmth came over him. A sharp pain shot through his heart, as if it had been shocked into beating. A wild gush of air raced into his lungs as if he had taken his very first breath. He felt… different. This wasn’t what King Piccolo had expected. He felt more powerful. His senses were heightened. He was… stronger. Was this his true power…? Was this what it felt like to be truly alive? King Piccolo had no idea his temporary life had been so watered down; it had been a mere fraction of what he was feeling now. This was… incredible! Ha! It was fantastic! He was even more powerful than he thought! “Now.” The dragon said. “Your second wish.”   
“Right.” King Piccolo nodded. “I –” He suddenly stopped before any other words could escape his lips. No… That wasn’t what he wanted to say! _“I want you to save Frikiza!”_ King Piccolo’s eyes widened as the words echoed through his head – the words he’d almost blurted out. No… No, he wasn’t saying that! He was **not** using his power wish on Frikiza! No **way**! “I…” King Piccolo hesitated again. He couldn’t stop thinking about it… No matter how hard he tried, he could not stop thinking that this was his only chance to save Frikiza. He could use this wish on her – if there was any way in the world to save her, then surely the eternal dragon would know… _**No**_! Why was he even thinking like that? Why was he even capable of thinking like that! Of course Frikiza couldn’t have King Piccolo’s wish! It was **his** wish! She’d made her choice – she was the one that had chosen to make an enemy of her family, and now she had to pay the price! It was nothing to do with King Piccolo, nothing at all!   
“Speak! What is your wish?” The dragon demanded impatiently.   
“I…” King Piccolo uttered. _“I want you to save Frikiza!”_ No… **No**! No, he couldn’t wish for that! She had to die! It was unfortunate, but King Piccolo had waited for this moment for almost three decades, and there was no way he was giving it up for the likes of Frikiza! Why would he? He didn’t care about her. He didn’t! And he would prove it!

King Piccolo took a breath, then looked up at the dragon and yelled, “I want you to make me the most powerful being in the universe!”


	25. King Piccolo's Second Wish

_“I want you to make me the most powerful being in the universe!”_

The words felt like a dagger through Frikiza’s heart. Had he… Had he really just said that? No… No – she mustn’t have heard him right! King Piccolo had changed… He wasn’t pure evil anymore! He didn’t need to make bad wishes! He… he could be good. He had the capacity to be a good person… He _had_ been a good person. He’d given Frikiza flowers, and he’d chosen to save a dinosaur egg… Okay, he’d tried to destroy it when Bulma and Chichi realised he’d saved it, but… He’d still saved it! And even then he hadn’t destroyed it – he’d given Chichi a chance to save it from him… And he hadn’t killed Bulma or Chichi, and he’d given Bulma new clothes… In just the past couple of hours King Piccolo had done so many good things. He was different now. He cared about people… He cared about his children. He… cared about Frikiza. Didn’t he? Frikiza’s eyes started to glisten. He did… He did care about her, right…?  
“Frikiza…”

Frikiza looked up to see King Yemma and Fortune-teller Baba looking at her sympathetically.  
“He… didn’t make a good wish.” King Yemma said. “Are you ready to admit it now? He hasn’t changed.”  
“He… he has.” Frikiza whimpered. He had changed. She felt it. He was good… … but maybe she’d misjudged how good. She thought there was a chance King Piccolo wouldn’t wish for anything bad, but… Maybe he just hadn’t changed enough to use the dragonballs for good. She could hardly blame him, after all. He wanted to be alive again, and he wanted to get back at the person that had killed him. It was understandable… Most people would want to do that, so why wouldn’t Piccolo? It made so much sense. Frikiza had been a fool to think that he would behave any differently. Nobody would behave any differently! This was his one chance to get everything he’d always wanted. Of course he was going to take it… Why wouldn’t he? “He has changed!” Frikiza insisted stubbornly. “Just not as much as I thought! But that’s okay – he can still be a good person!”  
“Frikiza… how?” Baba asked gently. “The only person who ever had any influence over him was you, and even if you did make him a little good – so what? Once you’re gone, he’ll go right back to being pure evil again. I’m sorry…” She looked at Frikiza, and offered her a sympathetic smile. “Maybe you could have turned him, eventually. But… you ran out of time.”  
“… Yeah.” Frikiza choked, blinking back her tears. “I guess I did…” She wiped her eyes, and let out a sigh. “Okay… You might as well let Goku know what’s going on. I’ll go get Piccolo.”  
“Good.” King Yemma growled. “And make sure you kill him – he’s alive for real now, remember?”  
“Okay…” Frikiza mumbled, and headed for Earth.

XXXXX

“ _ **Booo**_! _**Yaaaay**_!” A mixture of cheers and boos flooded through hell as almost all of its Earthling inhabitants, the majority of Planet Vegeta and a large number of hell guards watched King Piccolo make his second wish on the giant viewing orb in hell.  
“No!” Gine wailed, sobbing into Bardock’s armour. “I can’t believe it! I really thought he was going to help her!”  
“Oh come on Gine, of course he’s not going to!” Bardock protested. “This is like his one chance to get everything he wants! Why would he give it up for a bit of skirt?”  
“But she wasn’t just a bit of skirt, Bardock!” Gine cried. “He loved her!”  
“Doesn’t look that way.” Bardock grunted.  
“This is terrible…” Gine whimpered. “If he becomes the most powerful being in the universe, there’ll be no stopping him! Bardock, don’t you know that this means? He’ll even be more powerful than Kakarot!” She grabbed hold of Bardock, shaking him desperately. “He’s going to kill our family!”  
“Yeah, I know…” Bardock uttered, concerned. He turned back to the viewing orb, and frowned. “But you know… I’m starting to think Kakarot deserves to die! That overgrown freak has his mate bound and gagged, and he doesn’t even try to save her!”  
“Well – he mustn’t know about it.” Gine insisted.  
“Prince Vegeta didn’t know about it, but he still sensed that something was wrong!” Bardock growled. “So what the hell happened to Kakarot?”  
“I…” Gine uttered, struggling to answer. “I don’t…”  
“Oh, you stupid piece of crap, Vegeta!” An angry voice came from the other side of the saiyan crowd.

Bardock and Gine looked up to see Queen Turnipa cursing wildly at the viewing orb. “What the hell are you doing on the wrong side of the wilderness!” Turnipa screamed. “He’s got your mate, you moron! And now he’s going to kill her because you’re so goddamn useless! I should have exiled you too, you little brat!” She picked up a rock and with an angry cry, she hurled it at the viewing orb. “ **Gyaa**! Take that, you loser! You’re just like your father, you can’t save **shit**!”  
“What!” King Vegeta barked from beside her. He glared at Turnipa. “Don’t drag me into this! He’s your son too! What makes you so sure he didn’t get his failures from **your** side of the family?”  
“Oh shut up Vegeta, my family never failed to save our planet!” Turnipa argued.  
“They never tried.” King Vegeta snarled. 

Not too far from King Vegeta and Queen Turnipa, Frieza, Cell, Zarbon and Dodoria were watching the viewing orb and listening in amusement to King Vegeta and Queen Turnipa’s arguing.  
“Should we say something to provoke them?” Zarbon smirked.  
“Yes, I think so.” Frieza replied enthusiastically. “Vegeta!” He called over to the saiyan king. “Sorry to interrupt, but I think I have to agree with Turnipa. Your son is exactly like you – both of you have tried to defeat me, and you have both failed miserably front of your inferiors. Don’t you see the resemblance?” He smirked. “If it wasn’t for Goku, Vegeta would even be down here now.”  
“ _ **Shut up, Frieza**_!” King Vegeta roared, powering up. “This is nothing to do with you!”  
“But he’s right.” Turnipa growled, glaring at him. “Maybe if Vegeta had stuck with Frieza, _he’d_ be the ruler of Earth by now, and that scruffy little deadbeat would be his slave.”  
“ ‘Scruffy little deadbeat’ …?” Bardock repeated, overhearing the remark. “Is she talking about Kakarot…?”  
“Bardock, don’t!” Gine gasped, grabbing his arm as he turned towards Queen Turnipa. “You can’t say anything – she’s the queen! She’s just mad because her son couldn’t help.”  
“ _ **Who said that**_!” Turnipa yelled angrily, enraged that anybody would dare say a bad word about her son. Frieza and his crew started sniggering in amusement. 

On the other side of the viewing orb, King Piccolo’s mutant sons watched their master, their hearts sinking a little as they listened to his wish.  
“Wow…” Tambourine uttered. “Guys… I knew he wasn’t going to wish for Frikiza, but… I kind of feel sad…”  
“Yeah… me too.” Drum nodded glumly. “I was really hoping he’d done it…”  
“I guess he really doesn’t care about her, does he?” Cymbal sighed. “I mean… I didn’t think he did, but… it sure was a nice thought…”  
“Mm.” Piano nodded, also disheartened. “Well… look on the bright side. With any luck, we’ll be his next wish, and then perhaps we can continue Frikiza’s work and turn him into a better person.”  
“You really think he’ll listen to us?” Tambourine questioned.  
“Well… we’d have Junior’s help as well, I’m sure.” Piano shrugged.  
“What? Junior?” Drum groaned. “I hate him!”  
“Yeah, can’t we just pretend he doesn’t exist?” Cymbal growled.  
“Now, now. Remember what Frikiza said.” Piano scolded. “If King Piccolo wishes us back to life, we have to be a family – and that includes Junior.”  
“But he’s the reason King Piccolo got so hard to live with in the first place.” Tambourine argued. “Can’t we just make friends with Junior until Frikiza dies, and then ditch him?”  
“Yeah.” Drum nodded. “That sounds like a good idea – she won’t even know!”  
“What!” Piano gasped. “What are you saying! Are you actually suggesting betraying Frikiza? When she isn’t around to do anything about it?” He glared at his brothers angrily. “Is that really what you want to do?”  
“… No.” Tambourine and Drum answered, hanging their heads in shame.  
“Sorry, Piano… I don’t know what I was thinking.” Tambourine mumbled.  
“Yeah… sorry.” Drum said.

Piano let out a sigh.  
“Well, it’s alright.” He huffed. “Let’s just watch what happens. I hope King Piccolo won’t be too annoyed…”  
“Are you kidding? He’s gonna go nuts!” Cymbal cried.  
“Yeah, it almost makes me not want him to revive us!” Tambourine exclaimed.  
“ **Hey**!”

The mutants looked up and realised that they were suddenly surrounded by King Vegeta, Queen Turnipa, Nappa, Bardock, Gine and Raditz.  
“Hey Boys, just so you know…” Bardock said calmly. “If your dad even **thinks** about laying a finger on any of our people, we’re going to shred you.”  
“One at a time, until not a trace of your existences remains.” King Vegeta smirked. “Understand?”  
“…” The mutants’ eyes all widened in fright.  
_“King Piccolo, hurry up and revive us!”_ Tambourine silently screamed. 

XXXXX

Meanwhile on Earth, Vegeta caught up to Piccolo Junior and Gohan as they searched for King Piccolo.  
“Where is your father!” He demanded.  
“I don’t know!” Piccolo Junior barked. “He’ll be around here somewhere, just keep looking!”  
“Guys, look!” Gohan gasped, pointing to a glowing figure in the distance. “It’s the dragon! Come on!” He flew towards the image of the eternal dragon, followed by Vegeta and Piccolo Junior.

XXXXX

On the other side of the wilderness, King Piccolo stood under the shadow of the eternal dragon Shenron, having just made his second wish. His entire body shook with excitement as he imagined the kind of power he was about to be granted. Yes… yes! Finally, he would be the most powerful being in the universe! Finally, after all these years he would be able to kill Son Goku –  
“Your wish cannot be granted.” Shenron stated.

King Piccolo froze. No… No, that couldn’t be right. For a second there he’d thought the dragon had said… “You may choose another wish.”  
“Wh-What!” King Piccolo choked, his eyes widening.  
“Yyyyy!” Bulma and Chichi attempted to cheer through their gags.  
“ _ **Shut up**_!” King Piccolo screamed. He glared up at the dragon. “What the hell do you mean my wish cannot be granted! I told you to make me the most powerful being in the universe, now do as I say and **grant my wish**!”  
“I cannot grant that wish.” The eternal dragon replied. “In order to grant your wish I would have to make you more powerful than Son Goku, whose power far exceeds my own. Therefore, I am unable to make you the most powerful being in the universe. You may make another wish.”

King Piccolo almost choked on his own breath as he processed the words. No… He felt a cold chill flood through his heart. His vision went black, and he felt a strong, powerful sickness build up in his stomach as he started to comprehend the dragon’s words. He… The dragon… He couldn’t… King Piccolo wasn’t… No. No, this couldn’t be. This was his chance… this was his one chance to get everything he’d always dreamed of! This wasn’t happening… This **couldn’t** be happening! 

XXXXX

“Hahhahaha!” King Piccolo’s entire audience erupted with laughter as they watched the giant viewing orb on hell.  
“Oh my God! That’s devastating!” Nappa exclaimed.  
“Yeah, if I was him I’d just hang myself.” Raditz sniggered.  
“Ha. Too bad.” Bardock smirked, releasing his grip on King Piccolo’s mutant sons. “Well. I guess on the bright side I won’t have to rip you guys apart – there’s no way your dad’s hurting any of our people now.”  
“How embarrassing for him…” Turnipa sneered.  
“Please…” Piano whimpered. “Please don’t mock him. If he finds out, he’ll only become more enraged!”  
“Yeah – guys!” Cymbal yelled at the laughing crowd. “Show a little sympathy! He’s gonna be really upset by this!”  
“ **Hahahaha**!” The crowd laughed even harder, causing the mutants’ faces to fill with rage.  
“Bastards.” Tambourine muttered angrily.  
“Guys, King Piccolo’s gonna flip…” Drum whined. “I hope he doesn’t revive us.”  
“Whatever you do, **don’t** tell him we knew!” Piano said sternly.  
“Yeah, as if we would!” Tambourine cried.  
“What – you guys knew!” King Vegeta gasped.  
“Well… Frikiza told us that would happen – it’s why she was okay with letting him find the dragonballs.” Tambourine explained. “But she made us promise not to tell him, because she wanted to see if all the hard work she’d put into him had paid off. I mean… normally we wouldn’t go along with it, but… she was dying!”  
“Yeah, we felt bad for her.” Cymbal nodded.  
“Oh, that is priceless!” Nappa grinned, and yelled at the crowd. “Hey everybody! These guys knew! They’ve totally been watching him fuck himself!”  
“What!” Piano gasped. “No! No, it’s not like that! We did it for Frikiza!”  
“Ahahahaha!” The crowd laughed even louder.  
“You guys are bad sons!” Turles called. The mutants all groaned, and hung their heads in shame.  
“Maybe we are…” Drum mumbled.

XXXXX

Over on King Kai’s planet, King Kai watched in despair as Goku’s high intensity training destroyed his lawn.  
“Goku!” King Kai yelled. “What did I tell you about wrecking my planet!”  
“Oh…” Goku mumbled, looking round and noticing for the first time how much damage he’d caused. He looked at King Kai, and laughed nervously. “Sorry about that… Just another couple of rounds and I’ll be done.”  
“ _ **What**_!” King Kai screamed. “No! You’re not doing any more damage! You –”  
_“King Kai.”_ King Yemma’s voice cut him off. _“It’s okay. King Piccolo’s made his wish, you can tell Goku about the situation on Earth.”_  
_“Oh… okay.”_ King Kai replied. _“Did he save Frikiza?”_  
_“No.”_  
_“What a shame…”_ King Kai sighed. _“Okay. I’ll tell Goku.”_ He turned back to the saiyan. “Hey – listen Goku, you know how you were saying you had a bad feeling about your wife?”  
“Oh… yeah.” Goku nodded. “She’s okay, right?”  
“Well… no.” King Kai replied. “The truth is, King Piccolo returned to life and took her hostage so he could gather the dragonballs, and now he’s summoned the dragon.”  
“ **What**!” Goku cried, his eyes widening.  
“Yeah.” King Kai nodded. “Sorry – I would have told you sooner, but King Yemma told me not to say anything, because Frikiza wanted to see if he would use his wishes for good, and she didn’t want you getting in the way.” King Kai explained.  
“ _ **What**_!” Goku screamed. “You – you knew? King Kai – he could have killed her!”  
“Yeah.” King Kai nodded. “Lucky he didn’t, huh? Because he wouldn’t have used his wishes to revive her!” And he started to laugh inappropriately.  
“Well what **did** he use his wishes for!” Goku demanded.  
“Well, first he revived himself.” King Kai answered. “Then he wished to be the most powerful being in the universe – but don’t worry. The dragon wasn’t capable of granting that wish.”  
“Oh…” Goku mumbled. “So… he still has the same tiny power level?”  
“Yep.” King Kai nodded.  
“… Okay!” Goku beamed, suddenly looking happy again. “Well like I said, just another couple of rounds and I’ll be done.” 

King Kai watched in disbelief as Goku returned to his training, seemingly unfazed by the news that the Demon King Piccolo had taken his wife hostage.  
“Uh… Goku?” King Kai uttered. “Don’t you want to go and help your wife?”  
“Nah, it’s okay. I mean – he didn’t get his power wish granted, right?” Goku shrugged. “So if he gets out of hand, the others’ll be able to handle it – and besides, now that I think about it, if he was going to hurt Chichi he would have done it by now.” He smiled. “I guess his girlfriend really did change him, huh? I thought she would.” And he again resumed his training.  
“Unbelievable…” King Kai uttered as a large sweat drop formed on his head. 

XXXXX

Back on Earth, King Piccolo’s entire body was shaking as he struggling to contain his anger.  
“No…” He seethed, his eyes glowing with rage. “No… you are **not** telling me this!” He powered up, his aura flaring so wildly it caused the ground to shake for miles around. Bulma and Chichi cried out as the earth cracked underneath them, almost sucking them in, and a wild gale caused by King Piccolo’s anger blew violently against them, almost carrying the women away. “You…” King Piccolo snarled, his glowing eyes fixating on the eternal dragon. “You… worthless monster!” He raised his hand to Shenron, and gathered all the energy in his body, channelling it into his palm. “ **Die**!”  
“Nrrg!” Bulma screamed through her gag, her eyes widening.  
“Gffku!” Chichi attempted to wail, further enraging King Piccolo.  
“ _ **He’s not here**_!” King Piccolo roared. “Don’t you understand, you stupid woman! Your worthless husband is not coming to save –” He suddenly stopped in mid-sentence as a thought occurred to him. … Hm. 

King Piccolo slowly dispersed the large ki ball he had formed in his hand, the ki ball he was going to use to destroy the eternal dragon… and he went quiet. He went quiet… and thought. … He was alive. He was alive, and he would be for centuries to come. Whatever he did to these women, or to the dragon, he would spend the rest of his life on Earth… bored. He wouldn’t dominate the Earth – not today, anyway. He wouldn’t spend the afternoon unleashing an army of demons upon the world… He would have to wait. He would have to train day in day out, and wait until the day when he was finally stronger than Goku… or until the day when Goku died. It would happen eventually, wouldn’t it? Goku’s lifespan was so pitiful compared to King Piccolo’s. If he just waited long enough; long enough for Goku and his children to die, and if he just made sure that any more additions to Goku’s family were quickly taken care of… … Yes. _Yes_. One day, King Piccolo **would** rule the Earth. One day this entire planet would be his! But there was no way in hell he was going to be bored in the meantime. King Piccolo was going to get as much fun out of being alive as he possibly could! “Dragon!” King Piccolo glared up at Shenron. “I want you to get me the most valuable ring in the universe! And I want it look to nice! It has to be made from the most precious material in the universe, and have the rarest and the most beautiful stone! Do you understand?”  
“Yes. It is an easy task.” The dragon replied.  
“Oh, **that’s** easy?” King Piccolo roared, his aura exploding again and causing the cracks in the ground to grow even wider, which in turn caused a few nearby mountains to collapse into rubble. “So if you can do that then why can’t you make me more powerful than Goku, you useless imbecile!”  
“What size?” The dragon asked, ignoring his insults.  
“What!” King Piccolo screamed. “What the hell are you talking about!”  
“The ring.” The dragon replied. “What size?”  
“… Well… I don’t know!” King Piccolo barked. God, couldn’t this dragon do **anything**? It was useless!

King Piccolo let out a snarl and approached Bulma and Chichi. He ripped out their gags and removed their ki restraints. “Now.” King Piccolo growled. “Both of you, hold up your hands.”  
“What?” The women blinked in confusion.  
“ **Do it**!” King Piccolo roared. “Do I look like I’m in the mood to argue!”  
“No.” Bulma smirked, folding her arms smugly. “But what are you gonna do about it? It’s not like you can take on our husbands, after all.”  
“Yeah.” Chichi taunted. “You’re still just as weak as ever – **hey**!” She cried out as King Piccolo violently grabbed her and Bulma’s hands and yanked them up so forcefully he nearly ripped them off. He held their hands up in front of his face, and studied their fingers.  
“… Hm.” King Piccolo grunted. That was surprising. Chichi had smaller fingers than Bulma. She seemed like the more masculine of the two… Whatever. “What ring size are you?” King Piccolo demanded, looking at Chichi impatiently. “Come on!”  
“Um… M.” Chichi answered cautiously. “Is… is the ring for me?”  
“What! Of course not!” King Piccolo snapped. Was she serious? What that actually a serious question? What was wrong with her!

He looked up at the eternal dragon. “Get me one size smaller than M!”  
“Very well.” The dragon answered.  
“What!” Bulma cried, insulted. “Hey!” She glared at King Piccolo. “I do **not** have bigger fingers than Chichi!”  
“Yes you do, you have monster hands.” King Piccolo growled, causing Chichi to giggle a little.  
“Shut up!” Bulma yelled. “Anyway, what do you want with that ring size? It won’t fit you, you know! Or did you want to put it on your antennae? That’ll look ridiculous!”  
“I don’t want to put it on my antennae!” King Piccolo yelled. “What a stupid idea! What is wrong with you!”  
“Well then, why do you want the most valuable ring in the universe in a girl’s size?” Bulma frowned, then gasped. “Oh… I get it now. You want to sell it? What, you can’t fight your way onto Earth’s throne so you’re gonna buy it? **Ha**! Sorry Piccolo, but very few people can afford to buy that thing – and one of them is **me** , and I’m sure not going to do business with you, and I will personally see to it that nobody else does either!”  
“Oh, shut up.” King Piccolo snarled, catching the most value ring in the universe as it fell from the sky. “I don’t want to sell it, you stupid bitch.”  
“So what _do_ you want to do with it?” Chichi frowned.  
“Piccolo!”

Bulma and Chichi looked up to see Frikiza standing there, panting slightly after racing to them from Otherworld. “Piccolo… stop.” Frikiza breathed. “Don’t make any more wishes.”  
“You’re too late.” King Piccolo smirked.  
“What…?” Frikiza gasped, noticing the look of satisfaction on his face. “Oh, no… Piccolo!” Her eyes widened. “What did you wish for!” She was dreading the answer. What could he have possibly wished for? He couldn’t get ultimate power… what other bad things were there? Dammit, she didn’t think he could wish for anything else that would do any damage! But she must have forgotten something… Why else would he look so smug? He must have wished for something really terrible… Crap! King Piccolo looked over at Bulma and Chichi, and snorted.  
“Fools.” He spat. “I want to do this.” 

King Piccolo approached Frikiza and stared down at her.  
“Piccolo…” Frikiza spoke cautiously. “What did you do…?” She waited for an answer, but King Piccolo didn’t reply. He simply knelt down in front of her, causing Frikiza to become even more confused. What was he doing…? “Piccolo –”  
“Frikiza.” King Piccolo uttered, cutting her off. Frikiza frowned slightly when he held something up to her. It was… a ring? Where the hell did he get that? It was beautiful… Was that a real meirite stone? No. That was impossible. Meirite was the rarest stone in the universe – and it didn’t even exist on Earth. It sure looked like one though… Why was he showing it to her anyway? Was this supposed to be a reference to something? Was she supposed to get this? “… Will you marry me?”  
“ **Whaa**!” Bulma and Chichi cried out, their eyes widening.  
“Oh my God…” Bulma choked. “So that… that’s his girlfriend?”  
“Uh… Uh-huh.” Chichi nodded.  
“And he… he just…” Bulma gasped.  
“Yeah…” Chichi uttered. “He just wished for…”  
“Her _engagement ring_!” The two women wailed excitedly.  
“Oh my God! That’s so romantic!” Bulma shrieked.  
“Say yes, Frikiza!” Chichi cried. “Even Goku wouldn’t do that!”  
“Yeah – take it from us, you are **not** gonna find better!” Bulma nodded.

Frikiza stared at King Piccolo, dumbstruck.  
“I… I don’t understand.” She choked. “Why… why do you want to marry me…?” Oh God… Did he… did he _love_ her? Did King Piccolo really love her? No… This had to be a dream. This was too good to not be a dream!  
“Because then you’ll get a visa to stay in this universe.” King Piccolo answered.  
“A… visa?” Frikiza blinked.  
“Yes.” King Piccolo nodded, and looked at Bulma. “That’s how it works, right? If she marries me, she won’t have to go back to her universe?”  
“Yeah, that’s right!” Bulma nodded enthusiastically. “And we’ll be your witnesses that you guys were in a real relationship – right, Chichi?”  
“Yes, of course.” Chichi smiled. “And remember – Goku, Gohan, Goten and Videl saw you guys together as well – and Piccolo.”  
“I don’t need your testimony.” King Piccolo snarled. “Everyone in hell knows about us.” He looked at Frikiza. “So? Will you marry me?”

Frikiza stared at him, still a little confused.  
“Piccolo… I don’t get it.” She uttered. “Do you… love me?”  
“Tch! No!” King Piccolo grunted. “But now I’m stuck on Earth, so I want something to keep me entertained until Goku dies.” He smirked at her. “That can be you.”  
“… Oh.” 

Frikiza’s heart sank. Of course… It made sense now. He didn’t love her. He just realised how boring his life was going to be on Earth, and he wanted a fuck buddy. That was all she was to him… … but then again… he was still powerful enough to take any human he wanted. Maybe he did care about Frikiza, just a little. It wasn’t love, though… “… Piccolo.” Frikiza sighed. “I appreciate the offer, but… I already had one false marriage, and I always promised myself that if I ever married again, it would be for love. You… you understand, right…?”  
“… Hm.” King Piccolo grunted. What? Was she rejecting him…? How **dare** she reject him! He was offering her the most valuable engagement ring in the universe, the ungrateful little bitch! And he was giving her the opportunity to live past next week – had she forgotten about that? Well he would remind her! “Fine.” King Piccolo growled. “Don’t marry me. If you would rather go back to your universe and get brutally slaughtered by your family, then by all means say ‘no’.” He smirked. “I’m sure your death will be slow and painful.”  
“… You have a point there.” Frikiza admitted. “… Okay.” She said, and smiled at him. “Yes. Yes, I will marry you.”  
“Ha!”

King Piccolo cried out as a sudden jolt of joy flooded his being. What the hell was this? He felt… happy. Ridiculously happy. This was absurd! Why was he so happy? All he’d gained was permanent use of Frikiza’s body – he would have much rather been granted ultimate power and taken an entire army of human sex slaves. This wasn’t wonderful. This wasn’t the best thing he could ever hope for, and it wasn’t the thing he wanted most in the universe. So why was he so happy! King Piccolo smirked slightly at the sound of Frikiza yelping as he grabbed her and pulled her up to him, capturing her lips with his. This was bizarre… Why did he want to kiss her so badly? He wasn’t horny. It was different this time, as well. Kissing her felt different. It made him feel… sparks. He hadn’t felt like this before. He’d felt lust, and excitement… but this wasn’t that. This was… happiness. Or, what he thought happiness felt like. Why was it so different this time? Was it because he was alive? … He preferred the lust.  
“Yay!” Bulma and Chichi cheered, clapping their hands.  
“Congratulations, you guys!” Bulma grinned.  
“I **knew** there was something between you two!” Chichi exclaimed. “Bulma, what did I tell you? I told you they were into each other, right?”  
“Yeah, you did.” Bulma smiled.  
“ **Shut up**!” King Piccolo barked, glaring at them. “It’s only so she can get a visa!”  
“Um… yeah – you might wanna keep that to yourself…” Bulma said. “Otherwise they won’t give her one.”  
“But it is a real marriage.” Frikiza insisted, throwing her arms around King Piccolo. “Because I love him!”  
“Get off!” King Piccolo growled, his face turning violet as he attempted to push Frikiza away. This was embarrassing! “I don’t love you!”  
“Aww.” Bulma and Chichi smiled.

XXXXX

“Awww.” The crowd of hell inhabitants uttered as they watched Frikiza and King Piccolo on the viewing orb.  
“Isn’t that cute?” Bardock smirked.  
“Hey.” Nappa grinned at King Piccolo’s mutant children. “Looks like you guys got a new mom.”  
“ _ **Aiii**_!” The mutants shrieked excitedly.  
“This is so cool!” Tambourine cried. “Frikiza’s gonna live!”  
“And she’s gonna be our mama!” Cymbal exclaimed. The saiyans watched as the mutants grabbed hold of each other and started jumping up and down excitedly, cheering.  
“… Weirdos.” Raditz frowned. 

Over by Frieza’s group, Frieza was watching the viewing orb, his face filled with rage.  
“This is bullshit!” He screamed.  
“I know… what a waste.” Cell sighed. “A little cutie like her… She shouldn’t be with him.”  
“I wasn’t talking about that!” Frieza snapped. “Why does Frikiza get a meirite ring! I want one!”  
“You know what that thing is?” Cell uttered.  
“Of course I know what it is!” Frieza yelled. “When I was alive I owned eighty per cent of all the known pieces of meirite in existence – it’s the most valuable stone in the universe! The planet it came from doesn’t even exist anymore!”  
“That’s because you blew it up.” Dodoria said flatly. _“To increase the value of meirite, you money-grabbing psychopath.”_  
“Well if you own eighty per cent of them, don’t you have enough?” Cell reasoned.  
“Oh – would you **listen** to yourself, Cell?” Frieza snarled. “No I don’t have enough!”  
“You can never have enough rare gems.” Zarbon said.  
“Yes that’s right!” Frieza huffed. “And I didn’t get to bring them with me, you imbecile! I thought you loved me, Cell! So why didn’t **you** propose to me with meirite, instead of some mad scientist’s earring!”  
“What!” Cell cried. “But – you thought my proposal was romantic!”  
“It was, Cell. It was very touching – in fact it was the best one I’d ever seen… until I saw King Piccolo’s.” Frieza growled. “And he doesn’t even love her! He’s only marrying her out of boredom!”  
“Maybe, but I’m still glad it worked out this way.” Dodoria smiled, watching the orb. “I’m happy for them.”  
“Oh, really?” Frieza snarled, and glared at him. “I thought you were happy for _me_?”  
“I am, Lord Frieza!” Dodoria insisted. “I’m happy for all of you! I think you’ve all found your soul mates – it’s really nice!”

Frieza paused, and looked at him, somewhat taken aback by Dodoria’s sincerity.  
“… Are you really happy for all of us?” He questioned.  
“Absolutely!” Dodoria nodded. “And I hope you all live happily ever after.”  
“… Wow.” Frieza, Cell and Zarbon all uttered in shock.  
“Dodoria… You’re actually rather nice, aren’t you?” Zarbon commented. “You’ve always seemed like such a bastard.”  
“Well… what can I say?” Dodoria shrugged. “You’ve only seen me around my enemies – and I’m a dick to my enemies. Them, and people I don’t like.”  
“You’re a dick to the kids.” Cell remarked.  
“Yeah.” Dodoria growled. “That’s because I hate your kids.”  
“Don’t we all?” Zarbon sniped, causing Cell to glare at him while Frieza nodded, agreeing entirely with Zarbon.

XXXXX

Meanwhile on Earth, Frikiza was admiring her new engagement ring.  
“Piccolo, this is beautiful…” She smiled. “And it’s a perfect fit! I can’t believe you used one of your wishes on this!”  
“Yeah, well…” King Piccolo grunted, looking away. “It wasn’t my first choice, Frikiza. I _was_ going to let you die.”  
“Thanks.” Frikiza growled. “Anyway… if we’re married, does that make me the Queen of Demons?”  
“Huh?” King Piccolo blinked, looking at her. He hadn’t really thought of that. Frikiza, a demon queen…? … That was kind of sexy. She could wear his symbol on her clothes. Like, for example… on her corset. Or… her underwear…  
“ **Hey**!” The eternal dragon yelled at King Piccolo. “What is taking you so long! Speak your third wish!”  
“What did you say!” King Piccolo snarled, powering up. “I’ll take as much time as I want! Nobody talks to **me** like that, you useless –”  
“Piccolo!” Frikiza gasped, catching King Piccolo’s arm before he released his ki and destroyed the eternal dragon. “Stop! You still need to revive the boys!”  
“Hmph.” King Piccolo grunted. Tch. Right. He had promised them, hadn’t he? Well… even if he wasn’t going to own the Earth just yet, he would still need his servants. He wasn’t lifting a finger in his new life; he **would** live like a king! “Listen!” King Piccolo barked up at the dragon. “I want you to revive the children I was living with in hell – Piano, Tambourine, Cymbal and Drum.”  
“What!” Bulma and Chichi cried.  
“Are those… are those the monsters that killed Krillin?” Bulma gasped.  
“Yes – but don’t worry.” Frikiza smiled at the women. “They’re very sweet once you get to know them…”  
“Are you sure…?” Chichi frowned. “I find that kind of hard to imagine…”  
“Well… you didn’t think Piccolo could be romantic, could you?” Frikiza replied. “But he wished for my engagement ring.”  
“That wasn’t romantic!” King Piccolo yelled. “It was my second choice because this useless dragon couldn’t grant my first wish!”  
“Oh, that’s a good point…” Chichi smirked, ignoring King Piccolo.  
“Maybe those monsters really are sweet…” Bulma smiled.  
“No they’re not!” King Piccolo roared. “They are every bit as terrible as me! Now!” He glared at the dragon. “Bring them back!”  
“I cannot.” The dragon answered.  
“What!” 

Frikiza stared at the eternal dragon with wide eyes. What…? That couldn’t be right. If King Piccolo could be revived, then surely… “What do you mean you can’t!” King Piccolo demanded.  
“I only have enough power left to bring back one.” The eternal dragon replied. “You must choose.”  
“Choose?” Frikiza gasped. “But – you can’t make him choose! They’re his children!”  
“Choose one.” The dragon ordered. “Otherwise, pick another wish.”  
“You imbecile, I can’t choose one!” King Piccolo snarled. “I created all of them for different purposes! They have different skills! Piano is intelligent and is suited to being my advisor, Tambourine is an assassin, Cymbal is good at finding things, and Drum…” He paused, thinking aloud for a moment. “Well… actually Tambourine and Drum have a similar purpose…” He grunted. “Drum is stronger, so I suppose I could choose him over Tambourine…”  
“ _ **What**_!”

Back in hell, Tambourine was staring at the viewing orb with wide eyes and a dropped jaw, mortified at what his creator had just said. “K-King Piccolo…?”  
“Hahahaha!” Drum laughed. “See Tambourine? He likes **me** better than you!”  
“But I…” Tambourine stammered. “I always did everything he asked… … Oh, **shut up** , Drum!” He barked, and threw a punch at Drum, which his younger sibling easily blocked.  
“See.” Drum said with a victorious smirk. “This is what he was talking about.”  
“ _ **Shut up**_!” Tambourine screamed, and threw himself at his brother.  
“Piccolo!” 

Back on Earth, Frikiza glared at King Piccolo. “You can’t choose! They’re all your children, you can’t pick favourites!” She looked up at the eternal dragon. “Listen… it wouldn’t take much more power to bring back all four of them, right?”  
“No… It would not.” The eternal dragon answered.  
“Then – if I lend you some of my power, would you be able to revive all of them?” Frikiza asked.  
“I can try.” Shenron replied.  
“What?” King Piccolo gasped. “You can do that? Well then – give him enough power to make me stronger than Goku!”  
“Um… no.” Frikiza said with a smirk. “Sorry. I don’t trust you that much.”  
“ _ **What**_!” King Piccolo roared. “How can you not trust me! I’m your husband!”  
“You are, huh…?” Frikiza smiled, her heart skipping a beat. Wow… husband… She couldn’t believe this! She was actually going to be Piccolo’s wife! _Eep_!  
“Yes!” King Piccolo snarled. “And as your husband I order you to give him enough power to make me more powerful than Goku!”  
“Sorry. I only take orders from my icejin husbands.” Frikiza smirked, and looked up at Shenron. “Please – whatever you do, **don’t** give him more power.”  
“Very well.” Shenron nodded.  
“Bitch.” King Piccolo muttered, folding his arms in annoyance. What sort of icejin wife was she anyway? She was supposed to obey him! She was a disgrace.

King Piccolo watched bitterly as Frikiza held her hands up to the eternal dragon and gave him some of her energy. Tch. It was pathetic. She could use her power to revive those four morons but she couldn’t give her own husband the throne he deserved? **Witch**!  
“Piccolo,” Frikiza said. “Make your wish again.”  
“… Fine.” King Piccolo grunted reluctantly. Whatever. He still wanted his servants. He looked up at the dragon. “I want you to bring back the four of my children that I was living with in hell, Piano, Tambourine, Cymbal and Drum.”  
“Very well.” Shenron replied.

Frikiza looked at King Piccolo in confusion.  
“Why were you so specific?” She asked. “Couldn’t you just ask him to revive your children?”  
“What, are you nuts?” King Piccolo replied. “Frikiza – in my prime I created thousands of children. I don't want all of them living with us! Most of them were nothing more than half-witted weaklings!”  
“Okay…” Frikiza replied, blushing. “… ‘Us’.” She giggled, and grabbed hold of King Piccolo’s arm, causing him to blush slightly.  
“Your wish has been granted.” Shenron stated. “Farewell.” He suddenly disappeared in a great beam of light, and as soon as he had gone the seven dragonballs gathered themselves together in the air and fired off in different directions, scattering themselves across the world. 

King Piccolo and Frikiza looked around for his mutant children, but there was no sign of them.  
“What the hell!” King Piccolo yelled. “That bastard didn’t grant the wish! They aren’t here!”  
“No – wait!” Bulma cried. “They’ll be alive – but he probably just restored them back to wherever it was they died.”  
“What?” King Piccolo grunted. Where they died? … So that meant that Piano and Drum were at King’s Castle, and Tambourine and Cymbal were somewhere in the wilderness… **Dammit**! “This is ridiculous!” King Piccolo barked. “What is the point of that dragon if he can’t even grant a simple wish –”  
“Hey!” King Piccolo was suddenly interrupted by a voice he didn’t recognise.

He looked up to see… Junior? It was Junior! Piccolo Junior was floating above them, alongside Goku’s son, and that little guy… oh, what was his name…  
“Vegeta!” Bulma exclaimed. Right, that was it. Vegeta. Tch. Stupid name.  
“What do you three want?” King Piccolo demanded.  
“Your head.” Vegeta snarled. “Now.”  
“No!” Piccolo Junior cried. “Vegeta, wait –” He attempted to grab the saiyan prince, but Vegeta violently threw him to the side and dived towards King Piccolo, ready to tear him apart. 


	26. Piccolo Junior's New Family

“Vegeta!” Piccolo Junior screamed as he watched the angry saiyan prince, now in his super saiyan form dive towards King Piccolo. Shit, he was going to kill him! “Stop!” Piccolo Junior cried, racing after Vegeta.  
“Namek.” Vegeta snarled, his eyes burning with rage as he closed in on King Piccolo. “I am going to tear you apart!”

King Piccolo took a step back, watching with wide eyes as Vegeta raced towards him. Fuck! This guy’s power was huge! Not even Junior could stop him. King Piccolo took a defensive stance and braced himself, ready to endure a tremendous amount of pain when… _**Thwack**_!

King Piccolo blinked at the sight of Vegeta being knocked to the ground like a swatted fly. He eyed up the swatter – it was Frikiza’s tail. Frikiza had done that! She’d… She’d saved his life. King Piccolo turned Frikiza, and stared at her. She’d… saved him. King Piccolo felt a sudden warmth travel through his heart, and his lips parted.   
“Frikiza…” He uttered, then he caught himself before he could say anything he’d regret. “… Thanks.” He looked away, his face darkening slightly. “I could have done that myself.” King Piccolo growled stubbornly. “I was waiting for him to get closer!”   
“Sure.” Frikiza replied with a smug smirk. “Well, I saved you the trouble. Now we’re even, right?”   
“… Fine.” King Piccolo grunted. Well, not really. Sure, they’d saved each other’s lives – but he’d given Frikiza the most expensive ring in the universe! So no, they were not even!

Vegeta gritted his teeth as a dull pain flooded his body and he suddenly found himself on the ground. What the hell! What had just happened? He looked up to see an icejin girl standing beside King Piccolo, withdrawing her tail.   
“Wha…” Vegeta choked. Who the hell was she! Wait… He recognised that girl. Wasn’t that…? Yes. It was… it was _Frikiza_! The female counterpart of Frieza – she’d come to Frieza’s ship when only Vegeta was seventeen. It had to be her – she looked just like Frieza! Why the hell was **she** here? “You!” Vegeta barked, leaping to his feet. “What the hell are you doing here! Go back to your own universe!” How was she still alive anyway? Did Kakarot and Trunks not exist in her universe?   
“Stay away from him!” Frikiza yelled, stepping in front of King Piccolo. “He didn’t do anything!”   
“You’re kidding, right?” Vegeta snarled. “This namekian freak kidnapped my wife and forced her to give him the dragonballs – nobody terrorises **my** family like that and gets away with it!” He glared at Frikiza. “What does it have to do with you anyway? This isn’t even your universe, so I suggest you go home!” He raised his hand to Frikiza and smirked, forming a ki ball in his palm. “Unless you would like me to reunite you with Frieza? After all, it is long overdue.”   
“No!”

Vegeta flinched in surprise when Bulma stepped in front of Frikiza and King Piccolo, and looked at Vegeta sternly. “Don’t you dare, Vegeta! They just got engaged!” She barked.   
“ _What_?” Piccolo Junior choked.   
“Engaged?” Vegeta frowned, looking at Frikiza and King Piccolo. … Ew. “What!” He yelled. “What are you talking about!”   
“Well, it’s a long story.” Frikiza replied. “But basically… I’m going to be living in this universe now, as Piccolo’s wife.” She smiled, and looked at Bulma. “If you don’t mind, we’ll probably buy a place on Earth – can you recommend a good area?”   
“Sure.” Bulma nodded. “What’s your price range?”   
“Oh…” Frikiza mumbled, trying to translate her fortune into Bulma’s currency. “… About two billion zeni.”   
“It’s _**what**_!” King Piccolo screamed, his eyes almost popping out of his head. “That – that’s what your empire is worth?”   
“Oh – no!” Frikiza laughed. “That’s just my housing budget. A lot of my cash is still tied up in the planets I own – and then there’s my savings accounts and Kuria’s trust fund…” She stopped talking when she noticed the zeni signs that had suddenly appeared in King Piccolo’s eyes. Oh, great… “But Piccolo – I’m retired, remember?” Frikiza frowned. “So that money has to last us for the rest of our lives – we have to be careful with it!”   
“Careful!” King Piccolo cried. “What are you talking about! Frikiza – if I’d known how much money you have I wouldn’t have wasted that last wish on the boys! We can buy **better** servants!”   
“How can you say that!” Frikiza yelled. “They aren’t servants, they’re your children! And they’re going to live with us as normal residents, I’m going to hire other people to be servants!”   
“Really?” King Piccolo grinned, his eyes lighting up. She’d planned on buying him servants? That was wonderful! “How many?”   
“Well… we’ll probably need at least fifty cleaners at any one time, because I like a pristine environment…” Frikiza thought aloud. “Then there’s the gardeners, and someone to do grocery shopping for us… I guess we won’t need security on this planet, so… maybe at the most, a hundred?”

King Piccolo’s heart almost stopped. A… hundred…? This was unbelievable… Frikiza was going to buy him a two billion zeni house, with a hundred servants to do his bidding whenever he wanted? **Amazing**! Why the hell didn’t he marry her sooner!   
“Frikiza!” King Piccolo exclaimed. “Let’s get married **now**!”  
“Now?” Frikiza giggled. “We can’t! We have to find someone to marry us.”   
“What?” King Piccolo growled impatiently. What the hell was she talking about? They were surrounded by people! “Take your pick – here!” He grabbed hold of Bulma’s arm, causing her to cry out as he yanked her towards himself and Frikiza. “Bulma, you can marry us.”   
“Sorry!” Bulma laughed, pulling away. “I can’t, I don’t have a licence! Besides, don’t you want your friends to be there?”   
“Um…” Chichi uttered, looking at King Piccolo sceptically. “I don’t think he has many friends…”  
“Well I want Zarba and Doria to be there.” Frikiza said stubbornly. “And the boys! You can’t not have your children at your own wedding.”

Meanwhile Piccolo Junior listened to the conversation, becoming more and more horrified by the second, to the point where he thought his head was going to explode. No… This wasn’t right. His father wasn’t getting married… Why would he? He was the Demon King Piccolo, he wasn’t interested in stuff like marriage! And especially not with… _Frieza_!  
“Father –”  
“ **King Piccolo**!” Four loud voices cut Piccolo Junior off.

Everyone looked up to see King Piccolo’s mutant sons racing towards them.   
“Boys!” King Piccolo exclaimed, opening his arms out to them. “There you are! How does it feel to be alive?”   
“It feels great!” Tambourine replied, and all four mutants fell at King Piccolo’s feet and stared bowing to him excitedly.   
“Thank you thank you thank you!” They cried gratefully.   
“Hmph.” King Piccolo grunted, holding a satisfied smirk on his lips as he watched his children. Ah, they were so grateful… so loyal. It was touching how they admired him… 

Frikiza giggled, catching Piano’s attention.   
“Oh…” Piano uttered, noticing the ring on Frikiza’s finger. “Is that it? May I?” He took hold of Frikiza’s hand and studied the ring, his eyes glowing in admiration. “Oh, it’s beautiful! It suits you so well!”   
“Thanks.” Frikiza smiled, blushing.   
“Wow, that’s pretty!” Cymbal gasped as he and his brothers also looked at the ring.   
“King Piccolo, can I have one too?” Drum asked.   
“ **No**!” King Piccolo snapped. “I’m not marrying **you**!”  
“I didn’t mean it like that…” Drum mumbled.

Piano looked at Frikiza and King Piccolo, and smiled.   
“Well… as you can probably guess, we were watching the whole thing.” He said. “And… may I be the first to say, congratulations.”   
“Yeah!” His mutant siblings exclaimed. “Congratulations, King Piccolo! And Frikiza!”   
“Thank you…” Frikiza giggled, blushing. “You guys can come to the wedding, right?”   
“Of course!” The mutants nodded enthusiastically.   
“King Piccolo – who’s going to be your best man?” Piano asked. “I would just like to point out that _I’m_ the eldest, and I was your advisor, so naturally –”  
“Shut up, Piano!” Drum barked. “We all know I’m his favourite! You all heard it!”   
“He just said he prefers you to Tambourine.” Cymbal pouted. “That doesn’t make you his favourite.”   
“He never said he prefers Drum!” Tambourine yelled, his face burning with anger. “He just said Drum’s stronger, but he prefers **me**! Don’t you, King Piccolo?”   
“… I’m not sure.” King Piccolo shrugged. “You’re all a disappointment to me.”   
“Whaa!” The mutants cried.   
“Piccolo!” Frikiza scolded, glaring at him, while the mutants hung their heads in disheartenment.

Meanwhile, Piccolo Junior was standing with Gohan, Vegeta, Bulma and Chichi, watching the scene in astonishment. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing. He couldn’t believe what he was _hearing_. This was a dream, right…? This was… all a terrible dream…?  
“Hey Piccolo,” Gohan uttered, looking at the mutants. “Who are those guys?”   
“I… I think they’re my father’s children…” Piccolo Junior answered. “The ones that Goku killed.”   
“Oh, so they’re your big brothers?” Gohan smiled. “Why don’t you go over and say hi?”   
“Yeah!” Bulma nodded encouragingly. “Go on, Piccolo! Don’t be shy! You’ve been waiting your whole life for this, haven’t you?”   
“No, Bulma…” Piccolo Junior answered sceptically. “I really haven’t.”   
“I still don’t understand it.” Vegeta growled, his arms folded. “What is **she** doing in this universe?”   
“It’s a long story, I’ll explain later.” Bulma replied. “But basically she had to leave this universe, so he asked her to marry him so she could get a visa to stay.”   
“Why would he want her to stay?” Vegeta demanded.   
“Because he wants to carry on fucking her.” Bulma answered.   
“He wants to _**what**_!” Piccolo Junior screamed.

Bulma and Chichi started giggling.   
“Yeah – he told us all about it!” Chichi smirked. “I **knew** there was something between them! Didn’t I say it at the time, Gohan? There was totally a spark between those two!”   
“Yeah, I thought that too.” Gohan grinned. “I just wasn’t sure if anything would come of it.”   
“What the hell are you talking about!” Piccolo Junior cried. “He’s my father! He’s not interested in - - in that kind of thing!”   
“Oh Piccolo, you couldn’t be more wrong.” Bulma sniggered. “Actually from what he was saying, they like it pretty rough.”   
“ _ **Aiiii**_!” Piccolo Junior screamed, clasping his hands over his ears. “Why would you say that! That’s my father you’re talking about!”   
“Well, now Frikiza’s your mother.” Bulma said.   
“No!” Piccolo Junior yelled. “No, she is **not** my mother!”   
“Yes Junior, she is.”

Piccolo Junior looked up to the stern voice of his father, and saw King Piccolo glaring at him. “Frikiza is your mother. Get used to it, or I’ll kill you.”   
“You don’t have the strength to kill me.” Piccolo Junior growled.   
“What!” Piano gasped, and glared at Piccolo Junior in disgust. “How dare you speak to King Piccolo that way! Boys!”   
“Right!” Tambourine, Cymbal and Drum all nodded, and took their fighting stances.   
“King Piccolo, you want us to liquidise him for you?” Tambourine asked, his eyes fixed on Piccolo Junior.   
“Sure.” King Piccolo said with a smirk. “Seeing as you offered.”   
“No!” Frikiza snapped, throwing her tail in front of the mutants to block their path. “Boys – he’s your little brother. You have to learn to get along! It’s part of your therapy!”   
“What?” Cymbal groaned. “We have to have therapy even if we’re alive?”   
“Yes, you do!” Frikiza pouted. “That is, if you ever want to have chocolate or melon sodas again.”   
“ **Aii**!” The mutants screamed.   
“Yeah Frikiza – we do!” Tambourine cried. “Fine – we’ll get along!”   
“Good!” Frikiza smiled. “Well… go and say hi.”

The mutant nameks looked at Piccolo Junior, and he stared back across the awkward ten foot gap between them, each side reluctant to make the first move.   
“Go on, Piccolo.” Gohan smiled reassuringly. “It’s your family.”   
“But…” Piccolo Junior uttered, staring at the mutants. “I… I don’t even know them. They’re part of my old life.”   
“Well you can make them part of your new life.” Bulma beamed.   
“But I…” Piccolo Junior mumbled. _“I’m not sure if I want to…”_

Frikiza smiled encouragingly at the mutants.   
“Go on. You guys first – this has got to be weird for him.”   
“How do you think **we** feel?” Drum growled. “He betrayed us, Frikiza.”   
“Yeah well, he’s your brother so you should give him a second chance!” Frikiza huffed, folding her arms. “What else do you want to do, kill him?”   
“Unless someone marries him first.” King Piccolo smirked nastily, causing Frikiza to glare at him.

The mutant nameks continued to stare at Piccolo Junior, reluctant to make the first move, while he stared back with the same reluctance.   
“Oh, just get it over with already, then we can all go home.” Vegeta growled.   
“Vegeta!” Bulma snapped. “Can’t you show a little compassion? This is a huge moment for him! How would you feel if you were suddenly reunited with your father?”   
“Bulma, I _met_ my father. He’s never seen them before in his life.” Vegeta argued.   
“So that makes it even more special!” Bulma pouted. Vegeta simply snorted and looked away.   
_“Bullshit.”_ He thought to himself. _“They’re just a bunch of freaks. I wouldn’t **want** to get to know them.”_

The awkward silence between Piccolo Junior and his siblings grew, until finally Chichi snapped.   
“Oh, screw this!” She yelled. “Stop being so cool! **Hya**!” She let out a battle cry as she punched Piccolo Junior as hard as she possibly could, sending him flying into his mutant brothers. They cried out and instinctively leapt out of the way, and Piccolo Junior went sailing into the body of his father.

King Piccolo stood motionless as Piccolo Junior crashed into him. He stared down at his son, who had instinctively grabbed hold of him to stop his flying. The mutants gasped, and stared with wide eyes and dropped jaws as King Piccolo gazed down at their younger brother, who was staring back with the most uncomfortable body language the mutants had ever seen.   
“… Uh…” Piccolo Junior choked, his face turning violet. “… Sorry.”   
“Don’t mention it.” King Piccolo smirked. Piccolo Junior was about to let go and run a few hundred feet away from his father, when a pair of steel arms thudded against his back, locking him in place. “Welcome to the family, Son.”   
“Wh-What…?” Piccolo Junior gasped.   
“ **Yay**!” The mutant nameks exclaimed, following their master’s lead.

They crowded round Piccolo Junior and as soon as King Piccolo released the younger namek the mutants grabbed hold of him, crushing him into the middle of a group hug. “Welcome home, Junior!” They beamed.   
“I still think you’re a jerk.” Drum growled.

Vegeta snorted as he watched the scene.   
“Pathetic.” He said. “Come on, Bulma. Let’s go.”   
“ _ **Awww**_!” Bulma and Chichi wailed, tears streaming down their faces as they watched the reunion.   
“Oh my God!” Bulma cried. “That’s the most beautiful thing I ever saw!”   
“Good for Piccolo.” Chichi smiled, wiping her eyes.   
“Yeah…” Gohan nodded, his heart melting as he watched Piccolo Junior being smothered by his mutated family.   
“G-Get off me!” Piccolo Junior gasped, leaping out of his brothers’ grasps. He floated above the mutants and glared down at them. “Guys – listen. I’m really not the hugging type!”   
“Neither are we.” Tambourine replied. “But we want chocolate.”   
“What?” Piccolo Junior frowned in confusion. “What the hell are you – **hey**!” He cried out as the mutants grabbed his feet and dragged him into another hug.   
“Awww…” Frikiza smiled, taking hold of King Piccolo’s arm. “Isn’t it nice to see your family together again?”   
“Whatever.” King Piccolo grunted, ignoring the slight warmth he felt in his heart. After all, it was just a side-effect of returning to life after so long. This scene was sickening! They were all far too soft! Idiots. 

At that moment, just as Chichi and her companions were getting ready to leave the nameks to it, Son Goku appeared beside his wife.   
“Hey guys!” He beamed. “Did I miss much?”   
“ _ **You**_!” Chichi roared, suddenly enraged. “Goku! Where the hell have you been! I almost got killed by King Piccolo, you jerk!”   
“Whoa! Chichi, calm down!” Goku cried, holding up his hands. “I know, I’m sorry! But I didn’t even know he had you until after it was all over! King Kai didn’t tell me!”   
“Hmph!” Chichi huffed, folding her arms. “So I suppose you came the second you found out about it?”   
“Well… by that point you weren’t in danger anymore.” Goku answered. “So I… I kind of… finished my training first.”   
“You did _**what**_!” Chichi screamed. “Goku, how could you!”   
“Hm?”

King Piccolo looked up at the sound of another voice, and his ki suddenly skyrocketed as he laid eyes on Goku. “You…” He seethed, his eyes glowing demonically. “You… **bastard**!” He darted towards Goku, screaming at the top of his lungs, “You’re the reason I didn’t become the most powerful being in the universe! I’m going to kill you!”   
“Father, no!” Piccolo Junior cried and leapt onto his father, pulling the demon king back. “Stop! What are you thinking? You know you’re no match for him!”   
“ _ **I don’t care**_!” King Piccolo roared, trying to break out of his son’s grasp. “Get the hell off me, Junior! That little punk has destroyed everything I ever wanted, and now he’s going to pay!”   
“He’s not going to pay anything! Just settle down, you don’t think he can kill you with one finger?” Piccolo Junior growled. “You just got engaged, why don’t you focus on planning your wedding?” He spoke the words in a reluctant tone, almost vomiting as he heard them. It was unnerving… His father… was getting married. His father… the Demon King Piccolo… was involved with a **woman**! It was wrong!   
“What!” Goku gasped, overhearing Piccolo Junior. He looked at King Piccolo. “You’re getting married?”   
“Yeah – to Frikiza!” Bulma beamed. “You should have been here Goku, it was the most romantic proposal ever! He wished for her engagement ring!”   
“He did…?” Goku uttered.   
“Yeah – he did, Goku!” Chichi barked. “When was the last time **you** made a wish for me? In fact, when was the last time you even gave me anything? Sometimes I think that if I didn’t cook for you, you wouldn’t come home at all!”   
“But…” Goku said weakly. “I… I proposed to you at the World Martial Arts Tournament… That was romantic, right?”   
“Yeah – it was romantic, Goku.” Chichi growled. “It’s just a shame that at the start of that fight you had no idea who I was!”   
“Oh Chichi, Vegeta’s just the same.” Bulma frowned. “It must be a saiyan thing. He _never_ does anything nice for me.”   
“What the hell!” Vegeta yelled. “Bulma, I came out here to save you!”   
“Yeah, and it took you long enough!” Bulma argued. “The only reason Chichi and I are still alive now is because he decided not to kill us! It was no thanks to you useless jerks!”   
“Well at least Vegeta came as fast as he could.” Chichi sniped, glaring at Goku. “He didn’t hang around on King Kai’s planet until he could be bothered showing up to save his wife.”   
“It’s not like that!” Goku protested.   
“Goku!” King Piccolo roared, still trying to break out of Piccolo Junior’s grasp. “Come here!”

Goku looked at King Piccolo, then at Frikiza, and smiled.   
“Congratulations, Guys.” He said, ignoring the look of fury on King Piccolo’s face.   
“Thank you.” Frikiza smiled. “You’ll come to the wedding, won’t you?”   
“Of course!” Goku nodded.   
“ **What**!” King Piccolo barked. “ **No**! Frikiza, what is wrong with you! He is not coming to our wedding!”   
“Oh, come on.” Frikiza replied. “It’ll help with your therapy.”   
“ _ **Fuck my therapy**_!” King Piccolo screamed. “If he’s coming to the wedding then I’m not!”   
“Uh…” Piccolo Junior mumbled. “Goku, maybe you shouldn’t come…”  
“Are you coming?” Piano asked Junior.   
“Uh - -” Piccolo Junior hesitated, his cheeks darkening. Really…? Was he invited…? He wasn’t sure if he wanted to go. It just felt… weird. And it was **wrong**!  
“Oh – Piccolo, they’re your brothers, right?” Goku gasped, staring at the mutants. “Uh…” His face darkened in embarrassment. “Guys… sorry I killed you.”   
“Huh?” The mutants blinked in surprise.   
“Do you mean that?” Tambourine asked.   
“Yeah.” Goku nodded. “I do. I was young back then, and I didn’t have control over my emotions like I do now… but, Frikiza kind of made me realise that I should have given you guys a chance to change – you and your father. I’m sorry I didn’t.”   
“Oh…” The mutants uttered, softened by his sincerity.   
“Well… Frikiza said we should forgive people…” Cymbal said.   
“And if you’re really sorry…” Drum mumbled.   
“Don’t listen to him, Boys!” King Piccolo barked. “He’s lying!”   
“No I’m not!” Goku protested. “I’m happy for you! Especially you Piccolo,” He smiled at Piccolo Junior. “I mean – you’ve been alone your whole life and now you have two parents and four big brothers! That’s great!”   
“Really? You think this is great?” Piccolo Junior uttered, not convinced. _“Would **you** want this family?”_  
“Oh, shut up, Goku!” King Piccolo snarled, breaking out of Piccolo Junior’s grasp. “Just enjoy your life while you can, because one day I **will** be more powerful than you, and I’m going to rip you apart!”   
“Yeah…” Goku replied, smirking slightly. “Sorry, but that’s not going to happen.”   
“ _ **You little punk**_!”

King Piccolo launched himself at Goku again, but this time he was caught by his fiancée’s tail. “Frikiza!” He roared, his ki exploding. “Let go of me!”   
“Come on,” Frikiza beamed, completely unfazed by King Piccolo’s aggression. “Let’s go house-hunting.”   
“House-hunting?” King Piccolo grunted. Right, with her two billion zeni… … Hmph. Well. He wasn’t going to kill Goku today anyway. “Fine.” King Piccolo said, and grabbed hold of Frikiza’s tail, yanking her body towards him. “Why don’t we just have one built for us? I’m very particular about my environment.”   
“You are…?” Frikiza replied, blushing as a wicked smirk came across King Piccolo’s lips.  
“Mm-hm.” He purred, and kissed her.   
“Oh – **father**!” Piccolo Junior screamed, closing his eyes and clasping his hand over his mouth. That was disgusting! How could The Demon King Piccolo do something like that! What happened to his pride! “Stop! I’m going to puke!”   
“Piccolo, you’re such a prude.” Bulma giggled. “Come on Guys, let’s leave the lovebirds to it.”   
“The **what**!” King Piccolo and Piccolo Junior both barked, glaring at her.   
“It’s okay – we’re going.” Frikiza beamed, and waved at the others. “Bye, Guys! See you at the wedding!”   
“No we won’t.” King Piccolo hissed. Frikiza simply rolled her eyes and looked at the mutant nameks.   
“Boys, are you coming? You’re going to live with us too, right?”   
“Yes!” The mutants exclaimed excitedly.   
“Thank you, Frikiza!” Piano grinned as they rushed over to her.

King Piccolo looked at Piccolo Junior.   
“You coming?” He grunted.   
“What…?” Piccolo Junior uttered, his eyes widening in shock. Why… Why was he asking _him_? He was a disappointment to his father… wasn’t he…? “Me…?” Piccolo Junior choked. “Do you… want me to live there too?”   
“I don’t care.” King Piccolo shrugged. Tch. What was wrong with his face? He looked traumatised! Had nobody ever offered him a bed before? The pathetic little orphan.   
“Junior – I know you have a life here.” Frikiza smiled. “And you don’t have to change it – but you’ll always have a room at our home, and you can stay as many times as you want.” She looked at Piccolo Junior softly. “Why don’t you come with us? You can take off whenever you want.”   
“Uh…” Piccolo Junior stammered, unsure of how to respond. Really…? His father wouldn’t mind him living with them…? But, wasn’t he mad at him…? … Maybe Frikiza really had changed him… “I…” Piccolo Junior looked at King Piccolo and the mutants, then he turned to look at Gohan and the others for guidance.   
“Go on, Piccolo.” Gohan urged. “It’ll be fun!”   
“Yeah – your older brothers seem a lot nicer than mine.” Goku winked.   
“… Okay.” Piccolo Junior said awkwardly, and looked at his new family. “Sure. Whatever.”   
“Great!” Frikiza beamed. “Come on!” She flew off into the distance alongside King Piccolo, followed by the mutant nameks, and Piccolo Junior flying a few feet behind, not entirely sure of how he was supposed to fit into their life.   
“Hey Junior,” Drum called back to his younger brother. “Just so you know, **I’m** getting a bigger room than you.”   
“Whatever.” Piccolo Junior growled back, and smirked. “You’ll need a bigger bed, for sure.”   
“What’s that supposed to mean!” Drum screamed, while King Piccolo and the other mutants laughed loudly.   
“He has a point, Drum.” Tambourine sniped.   
“Oh, shut up!” Drum yelled. “You’re just jealous because I’m the favourite!”   
“You’re **not** the favourite!” Tambourine wailed. “King Piccolo – tell him!”   
“Shut up, all of you!” King Piccolo barked. “Or I’ll send you all back to hell!”

Meanwhile, over by Goku and his crew, Goku smiled as he watched the nameks fly away.   
“Wow…” He said. “I can’t believe King Piccolo’s getting married!”   
“Yeah… I had no idea he could be so romantic.” Chichi replied. “Why don’t you ever make a wish for me, Goku?”   
“You too, Vegeta!” Bulma scolded. “You spend all that time training – would it kill you to spend an afternoon with your wife? I bet King Piccolo’s going to spend his afternoons with Frikiza.”   
“Yeah, I think so too!” Chichi huffed. Goku and Vegeta looked at each other, then glared after King Piccolo.   
_“Bastard.”_ They both thought bitterly.   
“Hmph.” Vegeta snorted. “Well Bulma, while we’re talking about starting up a King Piccolo fan club, I’ve been meaning to ask you…” He looked at her ‘King Piccolo’ gi, then glared angrily at Bulma. “What the **fuck** are you wearing!”   
“Oh…” Bulma uttered, blushing slightly. “It’s not what it looks like. This is what happened…” She then went on to explain how she came about her new outfit, and when she was done, all through the wilderness Vegeta’s voice could be heard screaming,   
“ _ **He did what**_!” 


	27. Epilogue - The Honeymooners

_Kiss. Giggle._  
“Piccolo, quit it!” Frikiza giggled as she turned her head away from her new husband, and blushed when he used to opportunity to bite her neck. They had just left their wedding reception, after also attending Frieza and Cell’s wedding the day before, and they were now standing outside the hotel where they’d had their first kiss. “You’re drunk.” Frikiza stated.  
“I’m not!” King Piccolo barked, insulted.  
“Well _you_ picked the caterers.” Frikiza smirked. “Do you think they poisoned you as well?”  
“Maybe.” King Piccolo grunted, leaning against the doorway. “They’re jealous of me.”  
“Oh…?” Frikiza smiled, blushing a little. She looked at him. “Why is that?”

King Piccolo stared at her, causing Frikiza’s heart to skip in anticipation. She waited eagerly for his reply, wondering what he was going to say. King Piccolo snorted, and then smirked.  
“Because **my** wife’s rich!” He grinned.  
“… Great.” Frikiza muttered, disappointed that he didn’t say something nice. Really? Could he not at least say something flattering on their wedding day? “Do you only want me for my money?” She frowned.  
“No… That’s a bonus.” King Piccolo purred, moving closer to her. “I want you for your body –”  
“Okay!” Frikiza squealed, grabbing his hand before he got them arrested for public indecency. “I get it – let’s check in!”  
“Okay.” King Piccolo sniggered, and followed Frikiza inside.

They approached the hotel reception desk, and the manager’s face lit up when she saw them.  
“Hey, Guys!” She beamed. “Back again?”  
“Yes.” Frikiza smiled. “We have a reservation under King Piccolo.”  
“Let’s see…” The manager uttered, checking her computer. “Oh…” Her face darkened in embarrassment. “Oh my God…” She looked up at the couple apologetically. “Guys, I’m so sorry. There’s been another mix-up.”  
“What!” King Piccolo roared, suddenly enraged. “What kind of place is this!” Fuck it! He was going to blow this place up! And if Frikiza didn’t like it, then… then she could just go home!  
“I’m sorry!” The manager pleaded. “I don’t know how this keeps happening! You’re booked in the honeymoon suite again – but it’s okay, I have a twin room available. I’ll just change it –”  
“No!” King Piccolo and Frikiza both cried.  
“No – that’s right!” Frikiza nodded. “We’re supposed to be in the honeymoon suite.”  
“Oh…” The hotel manager uttered, then she suddenly noticed that they were wearing what sort of resembled wedding clothes. Her eyes widened in surprise, and she let out a small gasp. “So… you two are…?”  
“Yeah!” Frikiza beamed, holding up her ring. “We’re married!”  
“Oh, wow…” The manager mumbled, then smiled at them. “Well… congratulations!”  
“Thanks!” Frikiza grinned.  
“Um…” The manager looked at Frikiza, and gestured for her to come closer.

Frikiza leant into the woman, who whispered to her, “ _Seriously_ …?”  
“ _Yeah_!” Frikiza whispered back, giggling. “ _Once you get to know him, he’s not that bad_!”  
“ **Hey**!” King Piccolo barked, slamming his hand down on the reception desk so hard it almost shattered. “I can hear you, you know!”  
“Oh yeah… I forgot about your hearing.” Frikiza uttered, blushing slightly.  
“Sorry.” The manager giggled. “Well anyway – let me give you guys a discount on your room, as a thank you.” She smiled. “I’ve only had my second honeymoon suite open for two days, and it’s already booked out thanks to your recommendation! Your brother’s staying here.”  
“My brother?” Frikiza blinked. “I don’t have a brother.”  
“Well… your cousin then?” The hotel manager replied. “He looks just like you! And he has the same taste in guys.” She smirked. “He’s married to a big green guy that’s arrogant and over-confident too.”  
“What did you say about me!” King Piccolo screamed, his ki flaring up. “Listen –”  
“Oh be quiet, it’s true!” Frikiza scolded, shoving her tail into his mouth to silence him. “But… I don’t get it.” She said, looking at the hotel manager. “Are you talking about Frieza…?”  
“Yeah, that’s him!” The manager nodded.  
“But –”  
“Hey! Frikiza!”

Frikiza and King Piccolo looked up to see Frieza and Cell returning from the hotel bar; Cell was leaning against Frieza and staggering clumsily.  
“Frieza?” Frikiza gasped, he eyes widening in surprise. What were Frieza and Cell doing here? They’d been allowed to come to Frikiza’s wedding, but they’d gone back to hell right after the ceremony… Frikiza had even seen them leave!  
“Oh my…” The hotel manager frowned, looking at Cell. “Are you drunk?”  
“Me? No!” Cell snorted as he and Frieza approached them. He pulled away from Frieza and fell onto the reception desk. “I… I’m just…” He didn’t manage to finish his sentence before he lost his balance and stumbled forward, and was about to fall face first onto the floor when Frieza caught him.  
“You are drunk!” The manager growled. “It was Alex that served you, right? I’ve already warned him about over-serving! You know, part of me thinks that I should just fire him.”  
“What!” King Piccolo and Cell cried.  
“No! You can’t fire that kid! He’s great!” King Piccolo protested. “He serves you whatever you want!”  
“That’s the problem.” The manager frowned. “He’s supposed to refuse you service if you seem drunk!”  
“Well… to be fair, he tried to…” Cell uttered. “But then I threatened to kill him.”  
“What!” The manager screamed, her eyes widening.  
“Oh – ignore him, he doesn’t know what he’s saying!” Frieza said frantically. “He’s just drunk!”  
“I am **not** –” Cell began, but was abruptly cut off by Frieza shoving his tail into Cell’s mouth. Frieza looked up at Cell and glared at him.  
_“Shut up, you idiot!”_ He barked at him telepathically. _“You’re going to get us kicked out!”_

Cell looked at Frieza and grinned, his eyes lighting up.  
_“You’re cute.”_ He replied, and Frieza turned bright purple when Cell started sucking on his tail.  
_“Stop it!”_ Frieza shrieked, pulling his tail away. _“Not in public!”_  
“Haha… Frieza, you’re cute!” Cell beamed, wrapping his arms around Frieza. “Gimme a kiss! Come on!”  
“ **Cell**!” Frieza snarled, struggling to break out of Cell’s grip. “Get off me, you moron! _**Now**_!”  
“Ugh!” King Piccolo snarled in disgust. “I don’t want to see that! Go and do it in your room, you pair of freaks!”  
“Yes Cell, _come on_.” Frieza hissed angrily, finally punching Cell off him. “Let’s go. **Now**!” He stormed off towards the elevator without even waiting for Cell to follow.  
“Hey!” Cell cried. “Frieza – wait!” He attempted to chase after him, but fell to the ground after a few steps.  
“Should I call security?” The hotel manager asked.  
“No! Please don’t!” Frikiza gasped. “We’ll take care of him! He won’t be any trouble, I promise!” She raced over to Cell and picked him up off the ground. “Cell – hold onto me, okay?”  
“Ha.” Cell replied with a wicked smirk. “With pleasure –”  
“Get your hands off her!” King Piccolo screamed, batting Cell’s hand away. “I’ll carry you!” He grabbed hold of Cell and started to walk him towards the elevator, where Frieza was waiting impatiently.

When the elevator arrived Frieza stepped into it, ignoring Cell as he was dragged in behind him.  
“Hey…” Cell uttered, looking at Frieza with concern. “Frieza, what’s wrong?”  
“Shut up, Cell!” Frieza snarled. “You’re embarrassing me!”  
“But I – I didn’t mean to…” Cell trailed off as another issue distracted him. “Oh… hey, let go.” He pushed King Piccolo off him and stumbled into the corner of the elevator. “I gotta pee.”  
“ _ **What**_!” Frieza screamed, his eyes widening. “Cell, you are **not** peeing here!”  
“Why not?” Cell shrugged.  
“Because it’s disgusting!” Frieza barked. “And you’ll get us kicked out!”  
“But I… I have to.” Cell replied.  
“Well, _hold it_.” Frieza hissed.  
“Tch.” Cell grunted, and slid down to a sitting position on the floor. “Fine. Whatever. I… I’ll hold it for you, Frieza. You… you know why?” He attempted to wink at the icejin, but ended up just blinking at him. “Because I love you!”  
“Shut up.” Frieza growled. “You’re drunk!”  
“I’m not drunk!” Cell yelled. “Hey!” He glared at Frieza and King Piccolo. “Your… your wedding food was poisoned!”  
“Yes! See!” King Piccolo protested, turning to Frikiza. “I told you it was!”  
“No it wasn’t.” Frikiza growled. “You just drank too much.”  
“That’s not true!” King Piccolo yelled. “I hardly drank anything – those caterers poisoned the food!”  
“If it was poisoned then why are Frikiza and I not affected?” Frieza argued.  
“Well it obviously doesn’t affect icejins!” King Piccolo barked.  
“Yeah!” Cell nodded. “You guys… you guys are immune.”  
“Cell… you’re part icejin, you moron.” Frieza seethed. “So why aren’t you immune?”  
“Well…” Cell uttered, unable to think of answer. “Because…” His eyes suddenly lit up as he thought of something, and he grinned triumphantly. “It’s a namek poison! And I’m part namek!”  
“Yes!” King Piccolo gasped, completely following his logic. “See Frikiza! I was targeted!”  
“Yeah, I… I don’t want to scare you…” Cell said, looking at King Piccolo. “But I’m… I’m like… _one hundred_ per cent certain that your caterers tried to assassinate you.”  
“Oh, shut up.” Frieza growled.  
“Bastards!” King Piccolo roared, enraged. “After I gave them the job! I provided them with an income!”  
“You should kill them.” Cell said.  
“No!” Frikiza yelled. “No killing! You’re both just drunk, that’s all!”  
“We are **not** –”  
“Shut up Cell, you are!” Frieza snapped, silencing him. 

The elevator came to a stop and Frieza wrapped his tail around Cell’s waist, dragging him out of the elevator after King Piccolo and Frikiza.  
“Hey… Hey, I can stand!” Cell growled, pulling Frieza’s tail off him. “Watch!” He pushed himself to his feet, then stood for ten seconds before he stumbled over again.  
“Idiot.” Frieza muttered, turning away in embarrassment. 

He looked at Frikiza. “Did you have a good day anyway?” He asked, purposely ignoring Cell.  
“Yes, we did!” Frikiza beamed. “But I don’t get it – what are you guys doing here? I thought you got returned to hell?”  
“We did.” Frieza said. “But when we arrived Fortune-teller Baba brought us here. It’s a surprise wedding gift off her.”  
“I thought her gift was telling you your future?” Frikiza replied.  
“She tried…” Frieza said. “But when she looked into that ball she just screamed and said something about me being gold, then she passed out.” He smirked. “So… it sounds like my followers are going to build a gold statue of me.”  
“Maybe.” Frikiza giggled. “She didn’t elaborate?”  
“Frikiza – she was wasted.” Frieza stated. “She had no idea she’d even looked at our futures at all.”  
“She did the same sort of thing with us.” Frikiza said. “She looked at her ball but she said she couldn’t read it – I guess she was still feeling the effects from _your_ wedding.”  
“I’m still surprised she actually made it to yours.” Frieza smirked.  
“I think her hangover started about halfway through.” Frikiza giggled. “She was definitely still drunk when she arrived.”  
“Ha.” Frieza sniggered, folding his arms. “Well, at least she can say she was drunk. You know, at our wedding she made out with Babidi.”  
“What!” Frikiza cried, her eyes widening. “Seriously?”  
“Yeah.” Frieza nodded. “And then they disappeared together for a while…”  
“Oh my God!” Frikiza gasped.  
“ _ **Ew**_!” King Piccolo gagged, almost vomiting. “That’s disgusting! I don’t know who to feel more sorry for!”  
“Oh, well it’s nice for them.” Frikiza smiled. “I didn’t hear about that.”

She looked at Frieza cautiously, wondering whether or not she should say what she was about to. “I… I just heard about Zarbon…”  
“Oh, please.” Frieza snorted. “He only made out with Bardock to make me jealous – and Bardock only went along with it to get to me. I could see right through it; it was pathetic.”  
“Yeah but… you still got jealous.” Cell sniggered, pushing himself into a sitting position after briefly passing out.  
“No I didn’t!” Frieza barked, turning on him. “You of all people should know that I don’t care about Zarbon!”  
“Yeah… yeah, I know…” Cell said. “But you don’t want anybody else to either. You’re… you’re possessive like that.”  
“I am not!” Frieza wailed. Frikiza didn’t comment, agreeing with Cell.  
“Well anyway…” She said. “It’s getting late. We should go to our room –”  
“Hold… hold on.” Cell uttered, once again climbing to his feet. He stood upright for a few seconds, struggling to maintain his balance, until he finally collapsed to the floor. “Look!” Cell cried, glaring at Frikiza and King Piccolo. “Look at what your food did! I… I’m paralysed!”  
“No you’re **not**.” Frieza growled and threw his tail around Cell, dragging the android to his feet.  
“Frikiza…” Cell snarled, glaring at her. “This poison better wear off!”  
“I’m sure it will.” Frikiza sighed. “Just drink plenty of water.” She looked at Frieza. “Oh – did you guys get a chance to open your gifts yet?”  
“Yes!” Frieza grinned. “Thanks for giving us your capsule house!”  
“It’s okay, I said you could have it, right?” Frikiza smiled. “But you know the hot tub? They have an even bigger one in your room.”  
“They do?” Frieza gasped, his eyes widening.  
“Mm-hm.” Frikiza beamed. “And 24-hour room service.”  
“Hey!” King Piccolo barked, looking at Frikiza. “You’re not spending all night in that stupid hot tub! This is supposed to be a sex vacation!”  
“Yeah… you too, Frieza.” Cell frowned at his husband.  
“So what if I do?” Frieza sniped. “It’s not like you can do anything in your condition.”  
“Yeah, I totally can!” Cell yelled, insulted. “Hey!” He looked at King Piccolo. “You want a challenge? Let’s see who can fuck the loudest!”  
“ **What**!” Frieza and Frikiza both cried, turning violet.  
“Yeah, sure.” King Piccolo smirked. “But just to warn you – we’ll win.”  
“No we won’t!” Frikiza barked. “We aren’t doing that!”  
“Cell – I don’t want other people listening to us!” Frieza snapped.  
“Yeah well too bad, because…” Cell trailed off again, distracted. “… I really gotta pee. Can I pee yet?”  
“Oh – come on!” Frieza huffed.  
“Hey!” Cell cried out as Frieza tightened his tail around him and lifted him into the air.  
“Good luck with your marriage, Frikiza!” Frieza growled, and stormed off towards their room, his face dark with embarrassment.  
“You too…” Frikiza mumbled, and watched as Frieza opened the door to his hotel room and hurled the intoxicated Cell inside.

King Piccolo watched Frieza and Cell leave, then turned to Frikiza.  
“Hey.” He purred, a devilish smirk coming across his lips as he advanced on her. “Now that they’re gone…”  
“Not here!” Frikiza insisted, pushing him away. “Come on.” She approached their hotel room and unlocked the door.  
“Wait.” King Piccolo uttered just as Frikiza was about to step inside. 

She turned round and looked at him questionably. He was blushing a little… was something wrong? “I… I have to carry you.” King Piccolo said.  
“Carry me?” Frikiza blinked.  
“Piano said it’s in a movie…” King Piccolo mumbled, his cheeks darkening. “I have to carry you in.”  
“Oh…” Frikiza uttered. “Okay.” Her heart skipped a beat and she let out a giggle as King Piccolo scooped her up in his arms and looked down at her, grinning.  
“Ready?” He asked.  
“Mm-hm!” Frikiza nodded excitedly. 

King Piccolo kissed her, then kicked open the hotel room door and carried Frikiza inside, kicking the door closed behind him. Frikiza felt her cheeks burning as he carried her over to the bed, then he threw her down onto it and leapt on top of her, burying his face into her neck. This was so cute! He was actually trying to be romantic! Maybe he really was changing… “Piccolo…” Frikiza breathed as a feeling of warmth flooded her heart. “I love you.”  
“Yeah, I know.” King Piccolo replied, sliding his hand down her body. He met her eyes and Frikiza’s heart stopped as he gazed at her. His gaze was so calm… almost terrifying. He had such an evil aura about him, and yet… there was a gentleness there. Frikiza could sense it. Maybe… Maybe now he would finally let it show… “Frikiza…” King Piccolo purred.  
“Yes?” Frikiza asked, her chest tingling in anticipation. Was he finally going to say it…? Those words that Frikiza had longed for him to say, ever since she’d fallen in love with him…? If he just said it – she could die right now! It would make her the happiest girl that ever lived!

King Piccolo placed his palm on Frikiza’s cheek and gently ran his finger across her lips, smiling slightly as he gazed at her. Oh, Piccolo… Frikiza watched him warmly, her heart melting at his smile… But then he smirked.  
“Bend over, Beautiful.”  
“ **Aii**!” Frikiza yelped out as King Piccolo flipped her onto her front and lifted up her dress. God dammit! He was supposed to say something romantic! Frikiza threw herself onto her back again and launched her tail at King Piccolo, slapping him across the face. “No!” She barked.

King Piccolo paused for a moment, and rubbed his stinging cheek. Ow… that hurt! That… That **bitch**! He looked down at Frikiza, and his ki skyrocketed as he suddenly became enraged.  
“You…” King Piccolo snarled, his eyes glowing demonically and his aura turning dark and deadly as his entire body filled with anger. “You will **pay** for that.”

A cold shiver ran down Frikiza’s spine as his evil aura surrounded her. It was so sexy… She loved this part of him! Frikiza blushed a little and let out a small, helpless whimper as she stared pleadingly into King Piccolo’s eyes.  
“Please don’t hurt me…” She breathed timidly. “… Master.”  
“Ohh, Baby…” King Piccolo groaned, suddenly aroused beyond belief. He let out a loud snarl and threw himself down onto Frikiza’s lips, kissing her hungrily as her delicious whimpering almost finished him off. This marriage was going to be consummated so fast!

XXXXX

King Piccolo and Frikiza barely left the bedroom for the duration of their honeymoon, and while they were enjoying their married life, Fortune-teller-Baba was in her home, studying the image of King Piccolo and Frikiza’s future on her crystal ball and wondering whether or not she should tell the couple what she had actually seen.  
“Oh, what a dilemma…” She groaned to herself. “He’s gonna flip…” She sighed, thinking aloud. “But maybe I should tell them… it might make things better in the long run…”  
“Um… Fortune-teller Baba?” A voice caused Baba to look up from her crystal ball, and she raised her eyebrows in surprise when she saw one of the hell guards standing in front of her. “Are you busy, ma’am?”  
“Yes!” Fortune-teller Baba answered, finally coming to a decision. “I have to tell someone their future right away! It’s incredibly important!” Yes, she had to… Before it happened, and they were stuck with it! She had to go to them immediately!  
“Oh…” The guard uttered. “It’s just that… I have a message from the wizard Babidi. He says he had a very good time with you the other night, and he would like to see you again.”  
“Oh…” Baba replied, blushing. “He did, did he?” She paused for a moment, then grinned sheepishly. “Well… it was just a one-time thing, but I guess it wouldn’t hurt to tell him that in person…”  
“But…” The hell guard said. “Ma’am – if you need to see someone right away –”  
“Oh, never mind that!” Baba laughed, waving her hand dismissively. “I was on the fence about it anyway – what will be will be, right? I’m sure it’ll all work out in the end.”  
“Okay…” The guard mumbled. “Well then… if you would like to follow me?”  
“Of course!” Baba nodded and followed the hell guard towards the afterlife, with the image of King Piccolo and Frikiza’s future still flickering in her crystal ball. 

**To be continued!**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, there is was. First on ff.net, and now here... This fic is going viral! I hope you all liked it :) Thank you for reading!  
> Since writing this I've completed a sequel entitled The Nameks which is available on fanfiction.net, but I will be uploading it here in the next few days. I'm also currently working on a third fic, Living With Demons, which I will upload once I've posted The Nameks - however it is on ff.net now.  
> Also, because I love this pairing so much they have their own tumblr! Please check out [demoniclovedbz.tumblr.com](http://demoniclovedbz.tumblr.com/) for one-shots and fics/text posts not hosted anywhere else, as well as Demonic Love art and a **lot** of reblogs of incredible Namekian fics/headcanons/art.  
>  And finally, please check out [TheBombDiggity666](http://thebombdiggity666.deviantart.com/gallery/58063745/Demonic-love-comic) for some really cool art of this fic, as well as awesome DBZ/Undertale art in general.
> 
> Once again, thank you for reading! And please leave your feedback, it would be very much appreciated :)


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